


Oh Wait, THAT Tony Stark?

by Mrs_Understood



Series: College is strange, Tony Stark is stranger. [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Adventures: Iron Man, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abused Loki (Marvel), Also I can't spell, Amputee Bucky Barnes, AnAnAnAnAngst, Angst, Baby Peter Parker, Bruce is done, Bucky Barnes Angst, Childhood Trauma, Clint and Natasha SLOW BURN, College AU, Completed, Deaf Clint Barton, Depressed Loki, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, Gen, Genius Tony Stark, Help, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt Tony Stark, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Italian Tony Stark, Loki Angst, Mwahaha, Nobody knows he's so young though, Overprotective Thor, Peter comes in super late, Protective Thor (Marvel), Sad, Thor and Loki are bro's, Tony 15, Tony Angst, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric, Traumatized Peter Parker, Why Did I Write This?, actualy everyone has issues, bad choises are made, bad decistions where made in the making of this fic, but he is so cute, college tony, for everyone, haha help, hehe, it wasn't intended to be but oh well, like really really slow burn, really REALLY bad choices, that was sarcastic, that's a lie no i'm not, tiny Peter parker, tony dosn't understand boundries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:48:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 60
Words: 110,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21667699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Understood/pseuds/Mrs_Understood
Summary: Tony's 15, no one knows, and he's trying to keep it that way.well... almost no one knows.College AU ;)
Series: College is strange, Tony Stark is stranger. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1562074
Comments: 522
Kudos: 529





	1. The beginning

`“Hello, name please.” The lady at the front desk of MIT asked as Tony walked up.

“Um… Tony Stark.” He said quietly.

“Ah, Tony yes, I remember speaking to your father this morning, welcome. Here’s your dorm key, you will be in room 317, with Sam Wilson. We have asked Steve Rodgers to show you around tomorrow to help you acclimate to the new campus, he is a sophomore this year, so he knows the campus quite well, I believe you will get along with him and his friends. Here is your schedule, classes will be starting next week.” The lady said quickly, her hot pink acrylic nails shining in the light as she handed him a stack of papers and two keys.

“Thanks.” He said with a practiced smile. He followed the directions on the map he had been given to the dorms. 

Eyes up. Shoulders back. Face neutral. He had known it since he was tiny. He plainly remembered his father explaining this when he was younger. He had been walking out of the hospital after the second kidnapping that year, and somehow the press had found out about it. His father’s biggest priority had been, of course, the perception of the Stark family, not his son’s comfort, despite the fact that having two broken ribs at 4 was very uncomfortable. He shook his head as he walked, determined to clear his mind of the thoughts. That had all been 11 years ago, he wasn’t tiny anymore.

“Hey!” Someone yelled as he bumped into them, “Watch where you’re walking.”

“I’ll keep that in mind next time I cross paths with a semi-truck.” He retorted smoothly. Not his best comeback by a long shot, but enough to shut them up, and make them flip him off, which he laughed at. All a facade, eyes up, shoulders back, face neutral. He could do this. Nobody seemed to be looking at him weird yet, which he was relieved about. He knew he could pass for older, his constant state of sleep deprivation was helpful for that, but his mother had been worried nevertheless. Before he knew it, room 317 was staring him down. He stared right back for a solid 7 seconds, cycling through a breathing exercise once before swinging it open.

Thank goodness nobody was there. Surely he would have to face his roommate at some point, but he was glad it wasn’t now. Unless of course, he completely converted to being nocturnal, which if he didn’t have classes would seem like a genuine option. For now, he just through his things on the bed that didn’t have sheets on it and promptly flopped down after them. He knew he should probably change everything on that bed, and then burn it, but he didn’t really have it in him to get up at the moment.

He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew there was someone knocking rather loudly on the door, worsening the headache that had been edging its way to the front of his focus the whole day. Slowly he got up, straightening his hoodie as he did so in an attempt to look somewhat pulled together. He reluctantly swung the door open after realizing the knocker wasn’t going to go away, revealing a tall blond boy, who looked far to chipper for Tony’s liking.

“Hi! I’m Steve Rodgers, I was told to show Tony Stark around?” The guy, Steve apparently said, stating it like a question.

“Um… that's me. But we really don’t have to. I have some homework I can do so…” He trailed off. He didn’t actually have homework he could do, but there were endless calculations he could be running for his current AI project right now.

“Sorry, non-negotiable,” Steve said, promptly turning on his heel down the hallway, indicating Tony should follow. Reluctantly he tied on his Converse and sprinted after him.

“So we’re in the dorms right now.” Steve started.

“You don’t say.”

“Shut up, we’re in the dorms, the right side of the hall is guys, the left side is girls, don’t get caught in a girl’s dorm after 7 PM or the hall monitor will have to report you.”

“Mhm, and who’s the hall monitor?” He asked, causing Steve to blink for a second.

“Me.” He replied finally. Of course, it was. Tony had started to get this guy’s vibe by now, somewhere toeing the line between a goodie two shoes and a jock. Something in his posture was interesting though.

“Did you get really tall recently?” he asked before he could stop himself.

“What?” Steve asked, looking surprised.

“Oh, um… sorry. Sometimes my brain and mouth filter is screwed up. Like… always. Just ignore me.” Tony promptly clamped his mouth shut, focusing on his knotted laces. He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks as he kept his eyes downcast.

“Yeah, I did… how did you know that?” Tony snuck a look at Steve, who didn’t seem upset in the slightest, simply baffled. Tony could handle baffled.

“The way you… It’s the way you stand. Like you are unsure of how tall you are, and you stand up sorta straighter than normal, but not in like, a trained way, more of a… compensation. I dunno, you just carry yourself like you are used to looking up to people. Probably just a lucky guess.” He tailed off lamely.

“I was 5’2 all through highschool. Holy shit, are you a psych major? You should be.” Tony snorted far louder than was socially acceptable, rolling his eyes at the idea.

“Hell no, Mechanical Electrical and Aerospace Engineering. For now, but maybe nuclear later. Oh, and computer science.” He did it again. Every time he told people his major they gave him the look, somewhere between confused and distrustful.

“Really? Are you even allowed to do that?” Steve asked.

“They had to make a few exceptions schedule-wise, and I have a lot of online classes… but yeah.” Come on Tony, he knew how to finish sentences. He had been carrying on conversations with adults since he was two and a half. Not that he could remember anything before three, but he had seen news.

“That must be hours of homework, how on earth are you going to keep up.” Steve seemed genuinely concerned.

“My dad’s been doing engineering with me since I was little. All the 101 classes I learned when I was 7.”

“Seven! Geeze, is your dad insane?” The older man exclaimed.

“Yes.” He answered, looking at him unblinking. Tony forced a laugh after a second for Steve’s sake, wanting to save the conversation from as much awkwardness as possible. “I mean he builds mass weaponry in his spare time, I think you need to be at least a little crazy to do that.”

Steve laughed uncertainly “Yeah…” The older man pushed open the large glass door to head outside, which Tony had not at all been prepared for because a sudden burst of cold air attacked him.

“Gah! Why is it so cold?” He asked indignantly, wrapping his arms around himself and pulling his hoodie tight.

“It’s only like, 50 right now.” Steve laughed. 

“hmph,” He muttered, pulling his hood up to block the wind.

“Where were you born, Florida?” Steve asked.

“No, Manhattan,” he replied,

“Doesn’t it get cold there too?” The elder asked.

“Only if you go outside.”

“Ha, oh hey there’s Natasha,” Steve said pivoting, waving to a slim redhead reading under a tree, “Hey Nat!”

The girl, Natasha, jerked her head up quickly, before crossing the lawn to them. She had a book gripped loosely in her hand, which Tony now saw was on the history of Ju-Jitsu. “Hello, Steve, who’s this?” She asked with a nod thrown Tony’s way.

“Tony Stark.” He supplied, extending his hand.

“Stark, as in Howard Stark?” She asked with a quirked eyebrow. He bobbed his head in confirmation. She smirked and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Tony.


	2. The Piggy Bank Of Approval

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is happy, Piggy Banks are important, and Tony accidentally takes an oath that he didn't know existed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, that took embarrassingly long for how much I wrote, I hope you enjoy. As always, I love hearing your ideas and always try to work them into my stories, so feel free to tell me.

The rest of the tour had consisted of Steve trying to tell him things, and Natasha disagreeing with everything he said, plus some useful tips of her own, apparently the vents are a useful place to hide things, as long as you weigh about 120 pounds, apparently another friend found out the hard way that they aren't super stable compared to the ones in his home, and had fallen into the headmaster’s office during a meeting. They had long since finished the tour and were now just sitting outside under one of the school’s massive oak trees when Natasha turned to Steve.

“So, what do you think, should we bring Thor in?” She asked, and while the question confused him, it clearly carried some weight to Steve because he reacted immediately, looking at first worried, and then seemingly deep in thought.  
“I think so. Follow us.” With that Steve rose and started striding purposefully across campus, followed by Natasha. He quickly scrambled to his feet and sprinted after him.

“Jeez warn a guy.” He muttered.

“We did!” The blonde retorted.

In about 7 minutes they had made it back to the dorms and up the stairs, Tony a few paces behind as he struggled to keep up with their pace. He blamed there ‘strangely elongated legs’ Natasha just said he was short, which was fair, but he wasn’t about to acknowledge it. They halted near a door only a couple down from Tony and Steve’s, number 321, which had a suspiciously large dent near the bottom. 

“Okay Tony, we’re gonna introduce you to one of our friends Thor, now you should understand…” Steve was cut off by Natasha swinging the door open, with a call of ‘Boring’ over her shoulder. Steve gave a long-suffering sigh and padded into the room, followed closely by Tony. The room looked like your typical dorm, with almost no decorations, although the floor was already covered in clothing, on exactly one side. Tony peered closer and saw a divide straight across the room with masking tape. He was about to ask about it when a loud voice boomed, sounding like it was right in his ear, causing him to jump.

“Steve Rodgers, Natasha Romavoe! Who is this new person?” Tony looked up to see a guy, who must have been 6 '6 at least, peering at him curiously. “I am Thor!” He announced happily.

“Um, hi…?” Tony responded, unsure of what they were doing. He normally wasn’t at a loss for words, almost never in fact, but the strangeness of the whole thing had dumbfounded him.

“Thor, this is Tony, he is Sam’s roommate this year, and they asked Steve to show him around, we wanted you to meet him.” Natasha filled in for him, raising an eyebrow. In just a few seconds Tony could see a whole silent conversation pass between the three of them, which ended in Thor breaking out in a huge grin.

“Stay there!” He commanded, before bounding out of the room. He looked up at the other two, neither of who looked concerned. Natasha had a bemused expression, while Steve just looked exasperated.

“Where did he go?” Tony asked.

“He’s getting the piggy bank?” Steve supplied.

“The… what?”

“It’s a good thing, trust me,” Natasha said. He was about to ask her to elaborate, when Thor barged back in, balancing a pink piggy bank in one hand, and a legal pad with a ped attached with a string in the other.

“Was that still in the ceiling, I thought someone would have found it by now,” Steve asked.

“Yep! Exact same spot!” the author said gleefully.

“So, what is this?” Tony asked again.

“We need you to write your full name, the date, and your age, and put it in here,” Thor explained.

“Okay… why?” he questioned.

“You need to do it before we can tell you, this tradition.” Thor insisted. He stared at them surprised for a moment, before accepting the pad of paper, still not completely convinced that he wasn’t being tricked. He scribbled his full name, and the date before hesitating, he knows he wasn’t supposed to let anyone know his age, for reasons that were obvious, but Thor was looking at him with such sincere enthusiasm, he caved anyway, and quickly scrawled 15 before folding it tightly.

“So, now what?”

“You drop it in the piggy bank!” Thor said happily. Tomy cast him a wary look, but put it in nevertheless, trying to discern, well, anything from Thor or the others.

“Steve!” Thor stage whispered, causing the other blond to sigh before a loud explosion caused him to jump. It took him several moments to realize it was a confetti popper, and then it was only because it landed in front of him.  
“Okay, can you explain now?” He asked, looking at all of them, glairing, although being sure to put no venom behind it. Not that this seemed necessary, because Natasha cracked up, brushing confetti off of his hair.

“Of course, short one!” 

“Hey!” He said indignantly.

“This is the piggy bank, we named him Banks. By putting your name in you officially sworn into our friend group!” Thor said happily.

“It’s sorta like a time capsule, we all had to put in our names and the date, and then basically whatever you want to put in, a confession for example.” Natasha jumped in.

“Or an event, like if someone sets the dorms on fire,” Steve said with a pointed look.

“No one told me that a-cho-hal was flammable,” Thor said, stumbling over the word.

“How on earth do you not know that trying to drink vodka and smoke at the same time would be an issue?” Steve questioned.

“Clint said he did it all the time and he had yet to find an issue with it.” Thor defended.

“Well, Clint says a lot of stuff, doesn't mean you should listen.” The first retorted.

“Guys! Shouldn't we introduce the rest of the group?” Natasha interjected, clearly bored with this argument.

“Yes, that would be a worthy pursuit,” Thor said, starting off, before turning around again. “Natasha, will you stay here with the short Tony?”

“Still not short!” Tony called after the two blonds as they ran down the hallway, rolling his eyes when he heard them laughing.

“So Tony,” Natasha begins.

“Uh oh.”

“How old are you?” Natasha asked, an unreadable expression on her face.

“It’s my first year here.” He said, in the value of a response.

“I am aware, how old are you?” She said again.

“Why do you ask?”

“I think you know why Tony.” She said ominously.

“I really don’t. Sorry.” He said and turned quickly to the piggy bank. “Do any of you actually use this?” He asked her, surprised to see her nod. She must have accepted the change in the topic because she continued.  
“Surprisingly, yes. At first, it had been a bit of a joke, Clint won it in a fair a few months into the school year, and it came with the idea to use it as a time capsule, but people use it all the time. We’re gonna open it in 2035 and read all of them. The idea being we find out some answers to mysteries. It’s definitely a passive-aggressive tool though, any time Branner had an argument with someone that lasts more than a day he’ll write a couple of pages, staple them together and stick them in.”

“Who’s Branner?”

“Well you’re about to meet him,” Natasha said, with that, Tony looked up to see that the two blondes had returned, and brought company. Four others followed alongside them.

“Okay Tony, this is Bucky,” Steve pointed to a tall brunette with dark hair up in a messy bun, “Bruce,” A shorter guy with curly hair and dark eyes waved, “Clint” Another blonde, wearing one of those teeshirts with the arms cut off, he gave a nod that Tony was pretty sure was meant to intimidate him, but didn’t quite come through, “And Sam. He’s your roommate.” A black guy, who was between Tony and Steve’s height nodded his head in agreement. “Guys, this is Tony,” Steve concluded.

“And he’s already in the piggy bank, so you have to like him now,” Thor added enthusiastically. Tony gave a wave, making sure to keep his expression in check. He could see himself in a mirror hanging off of the door and felt a spark of pride. He looked completely at ease, which was definitely not how he felt. He shifted to meet their gazes and gave a calm smile.

“Hi,” he said. They all replicated the greeting back, more or less.

“Steve, do we hafta do the thing again?” Clint asked after a moment of silence.

“Oh, we are so doing the thing!” Steve exclaimed, causing everyone to grow.

“What thing?” Tony asked them.

“The stupid get to know you games he played with his boy scout troop,” Sam replied with an eye roll.

“Listen, they may be stupid, but I still remember every one of those boys’ favorite colors, foods, classes, teachers, and emergency knots.”

“Really?” Natasha asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Mika was Green, Pizza, P.E., Mrs. Shaw, and double fisherman’s knot. Jordans were purple, ramen noodles, history…”

“Steve?” Bucky asked.

“Hm?”

“Shut up,” Bucky said. “He’ll go on for hours, I’ve seen him do it.”

“It was not hours, it was 20 minutes and it’s not my fault that you have the patience of a two-year-old.”

“Oh, the patience of a two-year-old huh? I’ll show you two year old!” With that, Bucky launched himself off the bed at the blonde, tackling him to the ground, and knocking Tony into the wall in the process.

“AHH! You are so going to pay for that!” Steve screamed, slamming the other against the window.

“Sto-op, you’re gonna break the new kid!” Clint yelled over the banging, while Natasha grabbed him and pulled him up onto the bed.

“You’ll get used to it soon.” She assured him. He just glowered and rubbed the bump on the back of his head, keeping his posture light. It was so ingrained in him at that point he didn’t think he would be able to stop if he tried.   
“Stop that Tony,” Natasha commanded, making him jump slightly. Vaguely, he heard a loud splash from the floor, where the other two were still wrestling.

“Stop what?” He asked with forced calm.

“Your lip. It’s bleeding, see?” She said, dabbing a tissue and showing him the red stain on it.

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that. It must be dryer here then Manhatten.” He said, quickly taking the tissue from her and pressing it into his lip with more force then he strictly needed to stanch the bleeding. She raised an eyebrow at that statement, keeping a slightly skeptical look on her face for the rest of the night. 

Tony sighed as he leaned against the hard wall, with the corner of Bruce’s headrest digging into his back, and allowed himself a small smile. The two on the floor had sense stopped wrestling and were now sitting on opposite corners of the room and glaring at each other, while Clint was chatting about something that had happened in an archery class he had taken yesterday. He would admit that this was very different then his home, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he would end up prefer it. He had a feeling he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey, you know what I did at school yesterday? I cut my own bangs with paper scissors, in the girl's bathroom, without asking my mom. So that's how my week is going. Please comment and tell me your thought! Xoxo


	3. Oh crap, it's morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lot's happens, Steve needs a favor, and never let your mom pack your bed sheets.

“Okay,” Steve said. “Now that everyone has calmed down,” He said, shooting a glare at Bucky, “We can do the game.” Bucky, who has since taken his hair down, shot his hair tie as the other’s head. “The rules are, you make a circle on the outside and the inside, and you tell the other person you name, and repeat there’s back to them, and then you move, and you tell a different person you name and your favorite color, and you do that until they get too long.”  
“But, don’t you guys all know each other? Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to just tell all of you at once-”

“Here we go!” Steve said loudly, effectively cutting him off. Tony rolled his eyes and followed the other’s lead, who all seemed equally exasperated, Steve aside. The game lasted for about 15 minutes, and by the end, he had gotten up to ‘Tony Stark(Name), Red(favorite color), Risotto(Favorite food), Engineering(Favorite subject), Blondie (worst dessert) Engineering (What do you do in your free time) and Poetry (Least favorite subject), when suddenly the piano music that Steve was using to make them switch, changed to some kind of heavy metal song.

“Hey!” Steve yelled, running to turn it off. He stared at the phone for a solid five seconds before looking back at them.

“Help?” He asked. Nobody seemed inclined to help the blonde, so Tony reached forward and pushed the pause button.

“Oh yeah, Tony, Steve grew up Amish, so he knows, like, basically nothing about technology,” Sam said.

“I didn’t know that Amish went to college,” Tony said curiously. “Don’t they do a homeschool type thing?” He asked.

“Yeah Steve, why are you at college?” Bucky asked, with a smirk that showed nothing but ill-intentioned.

“I ran away,” Steve informed.

“Wait, really?” Tony said surprised.

“Yep, when I was 9. They had a funeral and everything.”

“Did you go?” Tony asked.

“Oh my gosh, Steve you totally should have!” Clint said, grinning at the idea.

“I mean, I would have been pretty easy to spot, I was the only 4’1 blond 9 year old with a permanent cough.” Steve defended. “Besides, it was more of a spur of the moment thing. I just kinda, didn’t go back.”

“That explains a lot,” Tony said.

“Like what?” Natasha asked, leaning forward so she was looking at him through her hair.

“Well, just the way you hold yourself. It’s like you’re permanently uncomfortable, but not quite. I don't know how to describe it well. At first, I thought it was just the height thing, but there’s definitely a difference.”

“Huh, I can kinda see that,” Natasha said, tilting her head to the side and gazing at Steve.

“What do yah mean?” He smacked indignantly.

“Holy shit, he’s right. Why didn’t I ever seen that before?” Sam wondered out loud.

“Because you shouldn’t be a philosophy major,” Clint said, shoving Tony’s roommate.

“Wait, see what else you can tell about us!” Bucky said excitedly, causing Tony to smirk.

“Okaaaay. Well, Natasha, you used to dance, and English isn’t your first language, and you do some kind of martial art, either currently or very recently, maybe over the summer? Bucky’s an amputee on his left arm, probably up to his shoulder, which I would assume you all know about, Steve absolutely does. Clint did archery, and Sam, well, your poster doesn't really tell me anything, Sorry.” he ended lamely. He was met with complete silence, as they all stared at him with uncomfortable intensity. 

“How the hell did you figure out the arm thing?” Bucky asked finely, looking at him strangely.

“Just, um… the way you guys were wrestling, it was clear that you couldn’t put any strength with that arm, and Steve was obviously aware of that because both of you were just wrestling with your right sides intuitively.”

“And you got all of that from just a few minutes?”Steve asked.

“No, I’ve been stacking you for years, what do you think?” He answered dryly.

“Well you were spot on, about everything, I’ve never met someone who figured out the language thing before,” Natasha said, looking almost proud. “How do you do that?”

“Oh, just something I studied since I was little.” He answered vaguely. He was painfully aware that for the first time in who knows how many years, nobody in the room seemed to recognize him. Maybe they didn’t even know about his father, Steve was Amish after all. Or ex-Amish.

“Hm, why would you do that?” Natasha asked again, with a raised eyebrow. He had a feeling she knew exactly what she was doing.

“It can be really useful.” He defended, straightening his spine.

“Mhm, really? How do you use it exactly?” She said. Natasha was definitely doing this intentionally.

“Oh, you know, when you need to… present a certain way, to people, during interviews for jobs and such.” He said, trying to keep himself level. “You know, this has been really fun, but I really should be going to bed soon, preparing for classes and such.” He said, making a beeline for the door.

“Classes don’t start for another 6 days though,” Thor said.

“Well, online classes, and such.” He replied, before slipping out the door.

“Tony wait-” He heard Steve call, before he closed the door, and proceeding to sprint as fast as he could to his room. Don’t get him wrong, he was thrilled to have people to hand out with, no matter how tentative relationships where, he had been around them for 7 hours, and he really needed time to be not-talking. It didn’t bother him so much at home, where everyone there had known him since he was blowing up his crib, but having to be so careful with what he said, keeping them from finding out about everything. Thanks to boarding schools his whole life, most of which were meant for people several years older than him, he had gotten to learn pretty quickly that people weren't exactly fond of befriending anyone more than a year younger, which to some extent he could understand, he wouldn’t exactly be thrilled if an 11-year-old decided to follow him around. He sighed as he plopped onto his bed, pulling out his laptop and opening to a line of code he had been writing. He was so deep in thought he must not have heard the door open because suddenly Sam was right in front of him. 

“Ahh! Hiiiii Sam.” He said, reaching to grab his laptop which he had accidentally thrown aside.

“Steve’s all worried about you now, he was integration Nat when I left. You better check in with him tomorrow or he’ll think you hate us.” Sam said, walking over to his bed.

“Oh, okay.” He said, reopening the laptop.

“Why did you bolt anyway?” Sam asked, switching out his sheets.

“I really did want to do homework.” Tony defended. “Do you need help?” He asked, watching Sam struggle with his cling sheet.

“Please, and that doesn't look like classroom prep.” Sam gestured to the code on his computer.

“I got sidetracked.”

“Doing what? Hacking the president?” the other asked, looking suspiciously at him.

“No, making an AI.” He replied.

“An AI! Dude, isn’t that like, really hard?” the psych major exclaimed.

“Not if you know what you’re doing.” He defended. “There, the sheet’s done.” He said, jumping back up onto his own bed.

“Mhm, well thanks,” Sam said. “You need help changing yours?”

“Nah, I did it when I got here.” He said. In actuality, his mom had packed him SI sheets with, he kids you not, tiny missiles between the logo’s, and Tony would rather get a skin eating virus then sleep on those. He would probably be able to buy some different ones tomorrow.

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Sam said. “I’m gonna go shower.” He said, grabbing a head and shoulders bottle from under his bed, along with flip-flops, before heading out.

“Bye,” Tony called, already absorbed in his work. He heard Sam call something that he was assuming was reciprocation, before the door swing shut.

He must have been working for a while, because he didn’t hear Sam coming in, and only blinked when he turned out the light. Trying to be considered, he dimmed the brightness on his computer, and bad a small effort to try to keep his clicking on the keyboard down. He had actually made a lot of progress on the code and made it threw the big issue, and was about to turn in for the night when light flooded the room.

“Gah!” He said, covering his eyes with his hand.

“Holy shit dude, did you sleep at all last night?” Sam asked, looking rumpled from sleep.

“Not yet… wait, what time is it?” He asked.

“It’s like, 9 dude,” Sam said, looking worried.

“...9 AM?” He asked, wincing.

“Yes!” Sam said, looking seriously worried. “You gotta like, sleep Tony.”

“Nah, I do this all the time,” Tony said, standing up and blinking when his vision swam a bit. Well, maybe it still wasn’t the best idea, but he had done a lot worse.

“Okay, but that’s not better, you understand how that’s not better, right?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it. I’m just gonna finish this block and then I’ll be done.” He said with a wave of his hand.

“Well, okay. We’re all meeting in Thor’s room at noon, you better be done by then.” Sam said, looking suspicious.

“Just one more block, I swear.” He said look back down.

“Kay, see you at noon.” He called.

“Mhm.” 

And Tony had really intended on seeing him then, except that he realized that he had made a mistake somewhere a few hundred blocks up, and he had to go threw all of it, from the very beginning, and he was close to done with the first half when he heard a loud slam. He jerked his head up, to see Sam, Natasha, and Steve in the doorway.

“What?” He asked, closing his laptop, not powering it off completely in case he had the chance to come back soon.

“I told you to meet at noon,” Sam said.

“That was only like 20 minutes ago.” He defended.

“That was three hours ago Tony, and you have been working on it all night.” 

“Okay, okay, I’m coming,” he said. Jumping off his bed and pulling one of his hoodies over his head.

“What were you doing that took all night?” Steve asked as they walked down to Thor and Bruce’s room.

“Oh, just a side project for something,” Tony said. He hadn’t been planning on elaborating, but both Steve and Natasha looked genuinely curious. “It’s an AI.”

“Holy shit, an AI, those are like, impossible to build, right?” Natasha asked. “It took that one dude forever to build that one.”

“Bill Gates? Well yeah, but he still didn’t really build an AI, he just programmed a couple of hundred responses to basic questions with different phrasing, I’m trying to build one that can learn and think as it gets new information, without me constantly having to feed it. That way it can take action without instruction, like if there was a fire in the building, and it had been programmed to not react, the AI would still be able to determine if an alert was needed, based on the size of the fire, and the state of everyone in the building.” He explained.

Steve and Nat looked completely surprised, whereas Sam just whistled. “How long would that take?” Steve asked.

“Well, um, I could probably have been done with it already, um, except I decided to make another language for it because my dad hates it and I didn’t want him hacking it or anything, so I could probably be done in a month or so.”

“Wow, that sounds super hard, good luck,” Steve said sincerely. 

“Thanks,” he said, trying to keep himself from flat out beaming. The rest of the walk was silent, and they were at the dorm in a few minutes. Natasha opened the door to see a complete explosion.

“Um… what-?” Seve asked. Someone had apparently cut up all of the pillows. 

“We wanted to have a snowball fight,” Bucky said, matter of factly.

“What’s that?” Tony asked, looking at them.

“I’m sorry?” Bucky says at the same time Thor adds “Snowball fights are the best form of cold-weather fun! Surely you have partaken in one before!” Tony just shook his head confused.

“Okay, but you’ve seen snow though…” Natasha says.

“I know what snow is,” Tony amended.

“You grew up in manhattan though. It snows there like, all the time. You must have gone out in it.” Sam adds.

“I mean, I had to stand in it for a while, but that was it. So feathers.” He said, making an obvious change of topic.

“Steve, you’re the RA, right? Can’t you, yah know, punish them with fire and brimstone?” Natasha asks.

“Okay, you guys clean this up, and I won’t kick you out… yet. Tony, you’re coming with me.” Steve order’s, grabbing Tony by the wrist and pulling him along with him. 

“Hey!” He yelps in protest, straining at the blonde’s grip, not that it worked. “What are you doing?”

“I need you to do me a favor,” Steve states, once they had rounded the corner.

“I- okay. What is it?” Tony asks.

“Listen, you’re clearly very smart, your coding proves it. I think Bucky may have really messed up his prosthetic, and I know you aren't in the medical field, but if you can please, please look at it and just tell me if I need to force him to the hospital or not.” Steve asked. His brow creased in concern.

“I can, but you need to get him to me, and I can’t legally diagnose anything,” Tony warns.

“Deal,” Steve says, turning back towards the dorm room again. Tony gulped. He had a feeling he had just gotten totally in over his head.


	4. Ooops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hehe :)

“Steve, how on earth am I supposed to make sure that his prosthetic is providing a proper range of mobility for the expected amount if I can’t see his medical record?” Tony asked the stubborn man in front of him. “I have no idea what I am working with here!”

“Well, guess,” Steve responded. They were sitting in Tony’s dorm on Sam’s bed. They were going to sit on Tony’s but it was so covered in metal and glass at this point that Steve was worried about life and limb, ironically.  
“Guess! You can’t just ‘guess’ how the bone was disconnected. Pulse, the circumstances of amputation help to inform me about the expected correlation.” he defended.

“If I give you Bucky’s medical record he would never forgive me!” Steve shouted.

“Well if I try and tell you everything is fine because I just guessed’ and he actually has a major infection he won't be able to be mad at you! You know why? Cuz he’ll be dead!” Tony yelled straight back, maintaining eye contact.  
“His medical record is filed in the nurse’s office. I can’t access them.” Steve said, lowering his eyes.

“Well, who can?” 

“Thor has a part-time job there as a receptionist,” Steve said.

“Of course he does. Okay, I’ve got a plan.” Tony said, grabbing a notebook.

“I don’t like it when you have plans,” Steve said. Tony had officially been in the group a month, and apparently, ‘just had a lot of ideas he acted on.” As Bruce had put it.

“Well, they usually work don’t they?” He defended.

“Yeah, that’s the problem,” Steve said.

“Listen, do you want my help or not?” He asked.

“At this moment?” steve said, cut off by a swift swing from a pillow.

“Shut up, the answer is yes.” Tony filled in for him, laughing when the older of then fell off the bed. 

“Ow, Tony! I fell on one of your… things.” Steve complained, holding up a circuit board.

“Give me that!” He said, snatching it out of his hand while still laughing. “Okay, out. I need to formulate the rest of my plan in peace.”

“Okay okay, yeesh,” Steve said, brushing himself off. “Don’t forget you have that essay due tomorrow,” Steve warned.

“Finished it a week ago,” Tony said, opening his computer.

“ of course you did. Well make sure you do all of your actual schoolwork to, not just the fun stuff,” he said.

“Aye aye captain,” Tony said with a mock salute.

Steve left him alone after that, hopefully, to bust Ryan for vaping in the dorms again. He always did it in the bathrooms and it never ceased to give him a headache. I mean, to be fair, he usually had a headache, but it definitely didn’t help. He finished his email and shoot Natasha a text to meet him in the office in the next 30 minutes. 

“What did you need?” She asked upon arrival.

“I need to steal a file, you can’t ask why, will you chat with Thor for a couple of minutes?” He asked. She raised an eyebrow.

“You’re stealing a file? From the nurse’s office?” 

“What?” 

“It just doesn't seem like your style is all.” She said with a smirk.

“You don’t know everything about me, maybe I do this all the time.” He said definitely.

“Not according to the security camera you don’t.” Natasha shot back.

“What?”

“What?” She asked innocently.

“Whatever, I don’t care enough. Just distract him for a couple of minutes.” He said.

“Okay.” She took off in the direction of the reception desk. “Hey, Thor!”

Taking his opportunity, he snuck around the desk, being sure to keep his head turned away from the camera, because of Natasha wasn’t just messing with him, and the footage was actually that easily accessible, then he needed to make sure Bucky couldn’t get his hands on it, because he knew where he kept at least a few of his knives, and it was more than enough to give him a ‘healthy respect’ for his friend.   
He finally found the correct filing cabinet, and sorted through it quickly, silently thanking Bucky’s parents for having the last name so close to the beginning of the alphabet. It didn’t take him long to find the file, and he made a fast escape after, giving Natasha a thumbs up on his way out the door. She quickly ended her conversation with Thor and followed him out.

“Okay dumbass, I helped you, I'm entitled to information now,” Natasha said, closing the door.

“I told you, you can’t ask why,” Tony said, definitely not winning. He just really wanted to look at the information on it, because if the amputation was as he expected, then he had a really, really great idea.  
“Yeah, except I don’t care. Is that a Med file?” She asked, peering at it.

“Bye!” he yelled in response, sprinting down the hallway towards his room. Once the door was safely locked, he collapsed on his bed, throwing a hand over his face.

“You good?” Sam asked, looking up from over his homework.

“Yep, definitely.” He said, collecting himself and opening his file. He skimmed through some of the boring stuff, flipping back a page or two until he found the section on his arm. 

“Self-amputation?” He muttered to himself, completely baffled.

“What?” Sam asked distractedly.

“Oh, nothing!”

Why the hell would have happened that could a self-amputation. Bucky had only mentioned it briefly, but he had said it was medical, and definitely hadn’t mentioned any accident. He shook his head and moved onto the medical information. No need to speculate, he would probably find out eventually. There was zero remaining humerus bone left, detached perfectly at the shoulder joint. There were actually notes specifically about that, that the amputation was shockingly clean, and they couldn’t figure out how it had happened, as it didn’t match up at all with any kind of injury that would be expected to happen to a 14-year-old boy. More importantly, they said that there was no possibility for a prosthetic that would be no possibility for any regained mobility in his arm.

He looked over at Sam, who was texting someone and winced. He knew himself well enough to know that he would never be able to keep these papers safe. Instead, he took a photo of the page with the most important information on it, intending to return the file, hopefully before it was reported missing.

“Tony, someone’s calling you,” Sam said from the other side of the room. 

“Just ignore it.” He said, thumbing through the papers.

“You sure? It’s your dad.” Sam said.

“Oh, well in that case,” Tony said, crossing the room to grab his phone, and threw it out the window.

“Dude, what are you doing!” Sam said.

“Nothing.” He said, walking nonchalantly back to his bed.

“Isn’t your phone gonna be, like, broken now though?” Sam asked.

“No, I built in a nanobot shield around it after cracking the screen to many times,” he said. “I’ll get it tomorrow.”

“Can you stop smarter than me for like, two minutes?” sam asked. 

“No.” he responded, sticking out his tongue, causing Sam to through a pillow at him. 

“Assault.” He said deadpan, causing them both to crack up. “I’m gonna go study in the libraries, I think they have a book I need,” Tony said, heading out the door.

“You do plan on sleeping this time, right?”Sam asked dryly.

“Yeah, yeah, sure Samosa,” Tony said with an eye roll, laughing at his friend's reaction to the nickname. He quickly escaped down to the library’s study section and plopped the books, med files, and his ‘project’ down on the table. Hopefully, nobody would question that the life-size metal arm was for his robotics class.

0o0o0o0

“Tony!” He heard boom across the library, causing him to jump and unintentionally throw his book.

“Jeez! Hey Thor.” He said, grabbing it off the floor. 

“Will you helped me with my homework?” The blonde said, still much louder than what the librarian seemed to deem acceptable, based on her facial expression.

“Sure I can, but keep your voice down, people are trying to study. What do you need help with?” He asked, wiping his materials to the side. He ended up helping him write the majority of his essay on the history of nursing through the Frozen War, given its name after the hero, John ‘Jack’ Lopez was encased in ice at the end, causing the war to come to a standstill. Thankfully he knew a lot about the topic, his father had been involved in the experimentation on Lopez, and had become completely obsessed with the case.

“But why hadn’t Penicillin been used before if it was so helpful?” Thor asked, looking a the paper completely baffled.

“Well, it hadn’t been made common practice,” Tony explained, which didn’t seem to help ease his friend’s confusion. “They didn’t fully understand what it did.” He elaborated, which seemed to satisfy Thor because he bobbed his head agreeably. 

“Ah, that explains it!” Thor said happily, causing Tony to laugh. His friend was awesome, but sometimes he acted like a golden retriever. “Thank you!” 

“No problem Thor. I’m gonna get some coffee,” Tony said, pointing to the machine that technically dispensed coffee, although he was pretty sure it was actually just caffeinated dirt. “Want any?” 

“It is past 8 o’clock! How will you be able to sleep?” The other asked him. Tony just shrugged. 

“Suit yourself.” He said, turning away. By the time he had received the scalding drink, and downed half of it on the walk over, Thor had packed up his backpack.

“I am afraid I must leave now, I have gotten an urgent text from my brother, which must be attended to immediately,” Thor said, a grim look on the usually happy face.

“Is something wrong?” He asked, genuinely concerned.

“Nothing for you to worry yourself over, my brother just requires my assistance at the moment. It is possible he ends up staying here for a few days.” 

“That sucks, I hope everything turns out okay.” He said densely as he turned back to his own work.

“I am sure it will. Thank you for your helpfulness, Tony.” The other said, walking away. 

Tony quickly allowed himself to be sucked into the work. The next day was a Saturday so there was no fear of him missing class, although he was a little bit worried his friends may try and pull an intervention soon, but that was a problem for the latter. He glanced at the clock, wincing when he saw it was already 11. This wouldn’t have been a problem, but he didn’t have any intention of stopping soon. He looked around, and not seeing anyone, grabbed a lighter out of his pocket. He just needed to fuse something together, and there wasn’t any time to go and get his blow torch from his room. Plus, that was a lot more obvious. He was almost done, too, when he was rudely interrupted.

“Tony!” Someone yelled.

“Gahh!” What was it with people and sneaking upon him? In his surprise, he dropped the metal arm, which, in return, seared a huge burn line on his arm.

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, are you okay?” Clint asked. “Wait, there’s no way that you're allowed to do that in the Library, what are you doing?”

“Side project. What did you need?” He asked, bowing on his burn.

“We couldn’t find you, you weren't answering your phone and Steve freaked.” Tony winced at the reminder of his lost phone.

“Sorry, I left it in the bushes somewhere. Why were you trying to find me?” 

“Well, because you weren't on the group chat you haven't seen it yet, a few minutes ago Thor posted this,” Clint said, shoving his phone under Tony’s nose. It was a photo, seemingly a screenshot from snapchat, and… 

Oh shit.

“Bucky’s medical records. He pinned photocopy around school because the name was blacked out.” Clint explained.

Tony Stark was dead.


	5. Dammit Thor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hehe... angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop! Look at me, posting so many chapters in a row! Please be forgiving, I wrote this on 2+ hours of sleep. Hope none of you guy's have anything against unresolved tension ;)

“How the hell did this happen? Nobody should have had access to those!” Steve asked, pacing around Bruce and Thor’s dorm, which had become their normal meeting spot after Clint had almost lit the whole dorm on fire by stepping on one of Tony’s old prototypes.

“I am very sorry friend, I didn’t know the procedure for this kind of incident. I was just trying to make sure that whoever lost their papers would find them again,” Thor said sadly. He actually looked really upset.

“Nobody’s mad at you Thor; you were perfect,” Natasha said.

“I think I have a solution,” Bucky said, taking a huge ass knife out of his hoodie pocket.

“So that’s a nope,” Steve said, grabbing the knife out of his hand with minimal concern.

“No wait, let him finish,” Clint said.

“Have you meet my brother, Bucky? I think you two would get along quite well.” Thor said.

“Come on guys, lets focus,” Sam said. “This was obviously a very traumatizing experience for Bucky.” 

At hearing his name, the dark-haired man looked up. “Nope, pretty much fine.”

“See, he’s masking his emotions with apathy,” Sam said, opening her textbook. “He is clearly suffering from trauma-related Multiple Pers-” 

“Sam, we are literally begging you to stop,” Bruce said from his bed.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll make it right,” Thor said. “I’ll do something so crazy that nobody will even spare a malignant thought to your file, Bucky.”

“You know, that’s not the worst idea you’ve had, Thor,” Clint said smirking. With a nod of the head from the other’s, the meeting was adjourned.

“Don’t think that this doesn’t mean that I am not finding out how you self-amputated your arm.” He saw Natasha whisper to Bucky, who looked slightly scared. Tony would have made a witty comment about that, but he was currently so happy that his throat was intact that he planned on drawing zero unnecessary attention to himself. He scampered off to his dorm room where he buried himself in his work. If all this shit was gonna go down for him stealing those papers, he was going to make sure that the outcome justified the means ten times over. Which is when his phone that he had since retrieved from outside at Steve’s request (because how will we know if you’ve been kidnapped or you just threw your phone out the window again?) started blowing up with texts. Sighing, he picked up the phone, wincing when he saw multiple all-caps texts.

THOR WHY DID YOU NOT TELL US THIS WAS YOUR SOLUTION!!!

FAILED ATTEMPT THOR!!

ABORT-ABORT-ABORT

NONONONONONONONO

AHHJPOFNJSERNRJNSFRTGDJFGRH!?!?!?!?!

DID YOU POST THESE AROUND THE WHOLE SCHOOL????

AS THE OFFICIAL RA OF THE BUILDING, I NEED TO ASK, WHAT THE HELL THOR!!

Attached, where over 30 different medical files, all with the names blacked out. He paled. It was everyone in the dorms.

I figured if everyone was worried about their own information, they wouldn’t be looking at Buckys. 

He winced. In a strange way, it actually made sense; at least nobody would be looking too closely at anyone else’s papers. In a very strange, very twisted way.

Whose is blank?? Clint texted. He looked over the files in the photos again. If he looked at the flash he could make out the reflection of the names on the marker used to scribble them out and… 

I think that’s mine. He texted quickly. I don’t know why it’s blank tho.

Group meeting. Steve texted to them. Sighing, he covered the metal arm with a blanket before bolting out to find them. He knocked on the designated dorm’s door, which swung open, revealing his friends all wearing a wide range of unhappy facial expressions. Thor looked extremely guilty.

“He-ey guys, was going on?” He asked hesitantly while walking in. He was met with varying responses, perhaps the most concerning one being Buckys. “Are… you okay?” He asked while being met with threatening eye contact as he   
sharpened a… “is that a sword?”

“Yes, his name is Better Steve, mind your business.” The other snapped, causing Tony to wince.

“Bucky…”Steve started warningly.

“Shut up lesser steve, Better Steve is present,” Bucky said, which would have been funny, if he had any energy he could focus into something other then not throwing up. 

“Are you alright, Tony? You look like you have something you want to say.” Natasha said with a quirk of her brow, making Tony feel physically ill. He shook his head mutely. “Nothing? You sure?” Natasha asked again, which is when it finally registered for Tony; she knew. She must, after all, not only was she there when he stole the file, she had helped him do it.

“Nope, I’m good.” He replied smoothly, causing her to narrow her eyes. 

“Okay. I just remembered you had something to do with the files the other day, and it made me wonder, oh forget it.” She said, with that stupid all-knowing look on her face. Bucky immediately snapped his head to face Tony.  
“You did this?” He asked. The room went deathly quiet. He took a deep breath, trying to remember the training his father had made his take when he was 8, in case he was kidnapped again (which he was) and tortured for information (which he was) so he wouldn’t tell them any secrets (he didn’t) that could compromise the company. 

“I may have been… unintentionally involved in some of the breach of information, but I did not willingly or knowingly distribute it to anyone,” he answered, wincing when he heard his own tone. It was the one he used on TV cameras or interviews when they asked about Howard’s ‘prodigy’ and he had to play his bit. It had been nice not using the voice for so long. 

Once the words were out of his mouth, the room erupted in sound. He had a bit of difficulty keeping everyone’s voice straight, but he got the general gist of what they were saying. He allowed it to go on for a while actually until Bucky grabbed his gun (Better Steve forgotten), in which he decided he probably should step in. He didn’t want to know what his dad would do if he got called because he had let a wall get shot, but he knew it wouldn’t be good.

“Bucky, wait!” He yelled over them. No matter how much he tried to block, the training his father had given him bounced around in his head. Maybe he should be grateful because it was actually making this all a lot easier. At least, that’s what he was going to contribute it to because they actually stopped talking and listened to him. “Listen, I’m sorry your records got out Bucky, that was never my intention-”

“Well, why the hell were you looking at them in the first place?” Bucky yelled, clearly getting angrier.

“-Because I needed them to help you! I was worried about the attachment they used on your prosthetic, and I wanted to make sure that it was what I thought it was before I tried anything. I only looked at them for the medical information, I swear.” He said.

“My arm’s fine.” Bucky practically growled. It occurred to Tony that he should probably be worried about the gun, but he could tell that Bucky hadn’t used one before, and anyways, he had been shot enough that he knew it wouldn’t kill him.

“You’re wrong. It would seem fine for the first several years, but your attachment it fused in the flesh, not pinned or encased in bone,” He said in a rush “That means, as the muscular tissue changed, as it often does, increasing and decreasing in mass, it would cause small movements of the prosthetic, almost molecular. Over time this leads to gaps between the prosthesis implantation site and your tissue, creating a breeding ground for bacteria. I promise you if your arm isn’t already infected it will be soon.”

“Well, why does that mean you give a shit about my med file?” Bucky asked, a bit of venom in his tone gone, although he still looked completely untrusting, which Tony had to admit was fair.

“I am working on a new prototype Bucky, it would work for people with a shoulder disarticulation, which is what you had, working by implanting a new ‘ball’ of bone in the ball and socket joint. I just needed to know the circumstances of the amputation so that I didn’t end up hurting you. Even if I didn’t know you I would be working on this, I just didn’t want to make a perfectly good prosthetic without tailoring it to anyone.” He explained, trying to keep his voice level. “I have no idea how that information ended up all over the school, and I am so sorry it did, but I promise I was trying to help you.” He said, not taking his eyes off of Bucky’s, who, while still angry, now just looked mostly scared.  
“You didn’t read the rest of the file?” He asked finely.

“I read about the amputation and allergies, that’s it, I promise,” Tony swore, his hands up. Bucky lowered the gun.

“Leave.” He commanded firmly. Tony slowly stood up, grabbing his backpack. He scanned the faces of his friends, he hoped they were still his friends after this, as he got up. His eyes landed on Steve’s, and Tony could see the guilt written all over them. Slowly, he backed out of the room. Once the dorm door had shut, with a finalizing click, he bolted, running straight to his room. He was going to work on his code until he blacked out if that’s what it took for him to forget that he had just lost the only friends he had ever made.

0o0o0o

Nat’s POV  
Bucky dropped the gun down to his lap as soon as Tony was out the door, which Nat was thankful for. Yeah, maybe Tony had messed up, but he didn't know any better, and he definitely didn’t deserve being shot. She found herself constantly trying to remember Tony’s age. She couldn’t recall exactly how she had acted at 15, but she had definitely done worse than read a medical file to try and help a friend.

“That little piece of shit,” Bucky yelled, throwing the gun, making them all flinch.

“Bucky…” Steve started.

“No, shut up! I never wanted you to bring that guy into our group anyway, and then he pulls shit like this? Just because he thinks he’s Bob the Builder or some shit? No, I'm never talking to that asshole again, and if your my friend Steve, you won’t either.” Bucky yelled, causing Steve to flinch back from his friends anger.

“Bucky, he was trying to help,” Bruce said, in a somewhat calming voice, not unlike what Tony had used.

“Oh, yeah, trying to help by invading my personal life and making everything go to shit!” 

“He didn’t know that would happen.” Clint defended, “ He just didn’t want your arm to be infected.”

“I would rather an infection then his help right now.” Bucky spat. 

“And why would you say what, Bucky?” Sam asked, holding up a video camera.

“Shut up Sam!” They shouted, all roughly in unison.

“Bucky you don’t mean that,” Steve said, trying to calm the other down.

“Yes, I do! Who was he to decide, all on his own, that he could go invading my life? How long have I ever known him, 6 weeks? He shouldn’t have been looking at my arm in the first place! Why would he-”

“Because I asked him to!” Steve yelled over Bucky, making them all stop.

“I-... What?” Bucky asked.

“I asked him to look at your arm because I thought it might be infected. He was asking me about what kind of amputation you had and I wouldn’t tell him. All I told him was that your records were with the school and I couldn’t access them.” Steve said, lowering his eyes.

“Steve, why would you…” Bucky started, all anger gone, and now just looking hurt.

“Because I wanted to help you Bucky, and I knew he could do that. He’s only 18-” Natasha bit the inside of her cheek at this. “And he’s smarter than most of his professors.”

“Well, that doesn't mean I want to be a human guinea pig!” 

“Bucky, he was just doing what I asked.” Steve reiterated. Natasha exchanged a glance at Clint, who was putting an envelope in the Piggy Bank. She caught a glimpse of the title and had to pinch herself to keep from laughing. It read 5 Dollars Every Time Steve And Bucky Are Gay For Eachother; Part 28. Nobody actually knew if either of them were gay, but there was definitely an unresolved… something.

“Well maybe so, but you didn’t state my file, he did, and you aren't the reason it’s posted all over the school, and he is.”

“Hold on, Bucky, he has as much to do with that as Steve does. Thor got confused about what to do, don’t blame Tony for Thor being Thor.” Clint said, his brow furrowed. Poor Clint had a tendency to take on the emotions of everyone, all the time, at once.

“Listen, I’m not forgiving him, and if any of you are my friends, you won’t either.” Bucky ended, before storming out of the dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's hear it for Natasha's point of view here! I also just realized that I totally made Sam the 'Jerry' of there group... And I'm okay with that. I really liked writing this chapter, please let me know any suggestions, I promise I actually consider all of them when writing. Hope you enjoy, please review :) <3 <3 <3


	6. Chill Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has some probloms, Tony has some solutions, Steve is a tired RA.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, fair warning, I know practicly nothing about BIO so excure an inacuricies. Enjoy :)

Clint sighed as he knocked on Tony’s door, which was firmly closed. “Tony?” He asked, “I need to talk to you.” To his surprise, the door swung open.

“What?” Tony asked. He looked horrible. The argument had been a few nights ago, and he clearly hadn’t slept since then.

“Listen, Bucky didn’t mean what he-” His apology was cut short when the door swung closed again. “Tony! Please, I really want to talk to you.” 

“Listen,” Tony said, opening the door, a box now in his hand. “I get it, I do. Don’t try and apologize for him because he clearly doesn't want you to. Just give him this and tell him there are instructions in the box, okay?” With that, the box was placed in his hands and the door closed again. 

“Tony, please, I need one of you to be the mature one about this.” Clint pleaded with the brunette, “Besides, I think Steve might actually break if Bucky doesn't come out of his room soon.” He got no response, and the door stayed firmly shut. “Okay,” He sighed in defeat, “But please do at least get some food. Sam’s told me you haven't been eating.” He waited a bit, hoping for an answer, and couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed when he didn’t get one. “Bye, Tony,” he said, turning to try Bucky again. 

“Wait,” Tony called from behind him. He spun around fast enough that he was surprised he didn’t get whiplash. Tony looked down again. “Tell Bucky… Tell him I’m sorry for me, okay?” Tony asked. “Please?” 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” Clint asked, shifting the box, it was pretty heavy. “I swear he won’t attack you if I’m there.”

To his surprise, Tony seemed to actually consider it. “No… but tell him to come to find me if he needs help with that.” He said, starting to retreat back into his room. 

“Wait, Tony?” Clint asked. 

“Mhm?” The smaller said, freezing.

“Listen, as stupid as the whole piggy bank thing is, we actually take it kinda seriously, and you’re in it now. That means your part of this group. We don’t all agree with Bucky.” He said, hoping to get through to the stubborn freshmen. Tony smiled at him, but then let the door fall shut. Clint still decided this counted as a win and set off to find Bucky. It wasn’t hard. He was at their dorm, and Steve was pounding on the door, yelling Bucky’s name.  
“Need a key?” He asked, tossing the jock his room keys. Steve smiled gratefully before shoving them in the door. It swung open to reveal a seriously pissed off Bucky, who was angrily digging through his closet.

“This is for you,” Clint said, happy to drop the box by the angry dark haired amputee.

“Who’s it from?” Bucky asked darkly, to which Clint shrugged noncommittally. Bucky needed no further prompting to unfold the flaps and dump the contents out. Out tumbled what looked like an arm, making Clint jump back before realizing that it was completely metal. On the top, there was a ball of metal that was significantly shiny-er than the rest, looking like it had been polished and worn down many times over. Along with the ‘arm’, there was a note, floating down after it. 

“How dare he!” Bucky said, swearing colorfully.

“Bucky…” Steve started, reaching out in a placating movement.

“I told you that no friend of mine would talk to him. Clint, why were you there? How the hell did you get this?” Bucky asked, stepping towards Clint threateningly.

“Because he made a mistake, Bucky. We’ve all made mistakes before, you included, and they hurt a lot more people and for a lot worse reasons than this.” Clint said in a level voice, his hands up in surrender. “Listen, Thanksgiving is in a few days. Why don’t we just take a break for now and worry about it when we come back, okay? We all can talk about it then.”

“I don’t want to talk to him, Clint!” Bucky yelled back.

“Buck, he’s a freshman, he's barely over 18, he made a mistake, what would you do if you were in his shoes?” Steve asked, stepping between them.

“I wouldn’t be! I would never do anything like this.”

“You have,” Steve said.

“Steve Rogers, if anyone would understand why I’m upset, it would be you. Will you please just trust that what he did was wrong and that I can’t talk to him?” Bucky said finally. Steve just stared at his friend. 

“He’s sorry, by the way,” Clint said after a few too many moments of unsettling silence.

“What?” they both ask, almost in unison.

“Tony wanted me to tell you he’s sorry.” with that, Clint turned and left, not even needing to look back to see the face that they were making. He wanted to do more to help, but it wasn’t really going to help anyone if Bucky insisted on being unreasonable. Besides, he had class. although he tried not to hear Bucky mutter 'He should be' behind his back. Clint had chosen his side, and he was sticking with it.

0o0o0o

The last week before break passed quickly, and Tony had stayed resolutely in his room, not even packing to go home (according to Sam). No one in the group particularly looked forward to trips home. None of them were particularly close to their families, save Sam, so tensions had been running high. The Arm Issue wasn’t helping any of that either.

“Bucky, can you stop brooding for two seconds so we can figure out how to help him?” Steve snapped at Bucky, causing Natasha to raise her eyebrow. It was pretty out of character for Steve to snap at anyone, let alone his childhood friend.

“Why are you trying to help him, anyway?” Bucky shot back.

“Because I don’t want him to go off and do something stupid because he thinks we hate him!” 

“He’s an adult, Steve, he can make his own Big Boy decisions.” 

Natasha winced at this. In her opinion, Tony hadn’t done much wrong. It had been a mistake, sure, but not one worthy of this reaction. She knew that if she were 15 and had done this, she probably would be doing a lot worse than hiding in her room and getting ahead on the homework she had been assigned. Actually, Tony was being remarkably mature about this, not that she could make this point to the others. She may not have the best sense of boundaries, but she knew how the dynamics would change once the team found out his age, and she sure as hell didn’t want to be the cause of that.

“He’s 18, Bucky, just because he can vote doesn't mean that he can flawlessly assess personal conflicts and react appropriately. Do you remember last year when Betty-” Steve began, causing Bucky to throw the book at him.

“You promised you’d drop that,” Bucky said accusingly.

“Well, you promise a lot of things Bucky. You wanna know how many you’ve broken this year alone?” Steve asked. Bucky just shot him a glare on his way out the door.

0o0o0o0o0

By the time they were leaving for Thanksgiving, Bucky’s arm was definitely infected, and every time he moved he ended up grimacing. He had just tried to get off the bed and ended up falling down on the arm, making him cry out in pain when Steve finally decided he had had enough.

“Okay, I’m calling an audible.” He said, “You clearly need help.” He grabbed Bucky by his waist and started dragging him out the door.

“Where are you taking me?” he asked angrily, flailing weakly against his friend's grasp. Clint slipped another envelope in the Piggy Bank.

“To the person who was trying to prevent this from the beginning,” Steve muttered, shifting his friend so he couldn’t touch the ground anymore.

“Over my dead body!”

0o0o0o

“Please?” Steve begged. Tony looked warily at him for a minute, before sighing. 

“As long as you’re positive he won’t wake up, and he won’t kill me for it, fine. Bring him to the top floor.” Tony said, grabbing a huge crate and a notebook.

“Isn’t that place abandoned?” Steve asked, “Is it safe?” Tony just sent him a withering look, successfully shutting him up. He was there with Bucky, who was out cold, in ten minutes flat. Unsure of what to do, he knocked on the old door, which still had the Under Construction sign on it.

“Bring him in,” Tony called, and Steve twisted the handle, allowing the wood door to swing open.

“This is not allowed!” Was the first thing out of his mouth. The floor had been covered wall to wall in machinery, all highly advanced looking, and screaming TONY MADE ME in capital letters.

“It’s not not allowed.” Tony retorted, appearing from behind something that looked suspiciously like an MRI. “Bring him over here.” 

The other gesture to an official-looking cot next to a… something. 

“Jeeze, did you rob a hospital or something?” he asked, staggering over to it. Tony jogged over and wrapped Bucky’s good arm around his shoulders.

“Why I am offended Quadzilla, I could have made all of this useless hospital crap in my sleep.” He defended. 

“I… what did you call me?” he asked, baffled.

“Never mind. What happened?” He asked, dragging the brunette onto the cot/table and reaching for a machine on the ceiling, suspended by a mechanical arm.

“Well he was being weird and we were fighting and he was sitting on the bed then- do you need help?” he asked, noticing that the shorted of them was struggling. Tony nodded, scowling.

“Why would you even build something out of your own reach?” He asked, pulling on the handle and offering it to Tony, who, in response, positioned it over the injured man's arm and punched in a few buttons.

“It’s standard size, the ceilings just tall.” Tony defended. Steve was about to quip back, when the machine gave a long, low tone beep and an image popped up on a screen next to him, making him jump.

“What… is that?” He asked, baffled.

“A reverse X-ray. I made it as a joke, but it turns out that it helps show how the bone affects the muscle and tendons or something. I dunno, but it also shows inflammation.” 

“Reverse X-ray, that thing that’s been all over the news? You built that?” He asked astonished.

“Well like I said, it was a joke, but then it actually helped people so…” Tony shrugged, looking at the digital photo for a long moment. “Yeah, that prosthetic needs to come out.” He said decisively.

“What? Can’t you just, I dunno, put Neosporin on it or something?” Steve asked, remembering that Tony didn’t technically have a medical degree.

“Listen, if you had thought you could fix this with aerosol disinfectant and a bandaid you wouldn’t have mauled my door trying to get in here.” 

“I didn’t-” He began, not really knowing where his sentence was going.

“Just trust me in that I know how to help him. Besides, I built a perfectly good prosthetic, I’d be a shame for it to go to waste.” The shorter one said confidently. Steve sighed before begrudgingly nodding. He was going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do when Bucky woke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was short, i'll work on a longer one soon. Please comment and tell me what you thing :)


	7. Bucky is loopy and Tony wants answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Overriding the calling system, it will send the call straight through so he can’t decline or hang up. Just keep it short; I don’t wanna wake the gremlin.” Tony said, nodding at Bucky.  
> “You… can do that?” Clint asked.  
> “Just talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! I know this is super short, but I wanted to get a chapter out. I also mad a google form to get your opinions on the direction I am gonna take this, so please fill it out and let me know :) https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1Pnnq919BbWacn_HCxooJpaAPruWqou0ZLnnAe191neg/edit

When Bucky woke up, he felt himself shivering, although he still felt significantly better. He reached up and scrubbed a hand over his face, or tried to. When he couldn’t he felt the panic rise in his throat. He tugged against the restraints but both his arms and legs were strapped tightly to the bed. Once his attention was drawn to it, he could feel the pressure on the joints.

“W-What the hell! Hey! Hey, let me out! Hey! Who-” He was cut off by a hand over his mouth, muffling his words.

“Shh! Do you want the teachers to come up here?” A voice said. He felt too hot, or too cold, or maybe both, or neither- he couldn’t tell. He felt the others hand tightening on his shoulder, forcing him down back onto the bed. He bit down on the man’s hand as hard as he could, tasting copper.

“Damnit Buck, it’s me.” The voice hissed in his ear. Now that the thought was in his head, the voice did sound a little similar. He forced his eyes open, which felt much harder than it should have. The first thing he saw was blue eyes, inches away from his own. Startled, he inched back, uncomfortable with the proximity of their faces. 

“Steve, what the hell happened?” He asked, noticing that his voice was raspy, and his throat was drier than it should have been, and he felt exhausted already.

“You were out for a while, your arm was really infected and he had to-” 

“He?” He rasped out, “He who? We’re not in the hospital.” He said, eyeing the cracked walls. “Please tell me you didn’t go somewhere behind a hospital like you did with the polio shot,” he asked, worried.

“What? No! I uh…” Steve trailed off, looking uncertain.

“What Grant-The-Plant here is trying to say is you almost died and I fixed you.” Another voice called from behind him.

“Wha-”

“How did you know my middle name?” Steve asked, looking confused.

“I have my ways.” The voice said. Bucky felt like he knew that voice, he had some kind of opinion that he was trying to… something! There was something! Why on earth would they attach your prosthetic surgically? To the muscle!” Tony continued muttering. Bucky only caught wisps of the words he was saying, but they were along the lines of ‘completely illegal’ and ‘massively unnecessary’ which seemed to be troubling Steve.

“So… I don’t have an arm?” He asked, his words felt heavy and slurred. His brain felt far too slow because he was being told he didn’t have an arm, but he swore he could feel one. It was strapped down like the rest of him. It didn’t feel like a prosthetic though- he felt like he did before the Rube Goldberg incident.

“Buck, you haven't had an arm sense you were 14 and decided to just!”

“No, you have something better,” Tony said ominously, interrupting Steve. He felt anger flare in his chest, remembering on a subconscious level that he didn’t want to see Tony. Bucky looked down, trying to figure him out, but his shirt, which had been cut at the arm, was covered in a white sheet, and he couldn’t understand. He squinted at the other two. Someone was still talking, but it didn’t sound like Tony. 

“Do you understand, Bucky!” Someone said, suddenly close to his face. He blinked, seeing Steve again. Unsure, he nodded that he understood because he probably wasn’t going to die if Steve was there. Suddenly the pressure on his arms increased to an almost painful point, before disappearing. Instinctively, he lifted his arms to check the length he had been given and found his tie had been removed. He moved to lift the blanket and was quickly stopped by Steve’s hand. Vaguely, he heard not Steve’s voice saying something about drugs, before he was lost to the world.

0o0o0o

“Are you sure he’ll be okay?” Steve asked for the 4th time that hour, wringing his hands. Tony resisted the urge to roll his eyes (because empathy or whatever) and instead opted to pat his shoulder. Or at least think about it, and then throw a rag at him. Hey, the intention was there.

“I am 100% positive that he won’t stop breathing in the time it takes for you to eat a granola bar and shower. Besides, even if he did, I have protocols for that,” he said, gesturing to the self-sufficient MAX cart sitting by Bucky’s bed.  
“You can’t promise that if he dies your violating the Hippocratic oath.”

“Well thankfully I never took it, so I'm fine,” Tony assured, trying to steer Steve out the door.

“What if he wakes up and tries to hurt you?” Steve asked again, whipping around looking concerned.

“Come on Steve, I’m an adult… ish, and he literally just came out of anesthesia a few minutes ago. He’ll be out for hours,” he said, “and this lab is full of weaponry, I think I could restrain him.”

“Okay,” Steve consented, allowing Tony to push him out the lab door. “But if there’s an issue you-”

“Call you, yeah, yeah, I got it. It’s only, you know, written in your 14 step ‘Bucky Murder Prevention’ plan.” Tony interrupted, slamming the door, which effectively cut off Steve’s argument. He spun on his heel, headed to Bucky’s cot with the intention of reinforcing the stitching before he woke up for real when he heard screaming from out the window. Curiously, he peered out, seeing Thor, wearing sweatpants and nothing else, sprinting across the courtyard and jumping the gate. A few moments later, blobs that were shaped like his (ex?) friends appeared below. Shrugging, he turned back. If it was important, he would probably get alerted at some point.

“Tony, we need your help!” A voice called from… somewhere.

“Hello?” He asked, spinning around. In response, Clint dropped down in front of Tony, landing awkwardly on the cement floor. 

“Ow."

“How long have you been there?” He asked, unnerved.

“Never mind. Do you still have that tracker on Thor?” The archer asked, looking impatient.

“The one in his neck? Yeah, why?” He asked. After they had lost him under an overpass for several hours, Natasha had given him a pastry box and asked him to implant a tracker to turn on in case of emergencies. 

“Bruce said he got a text from someone and freaked out and then jumped out the window, and we can’t find him or get a hold of him,” Clint explained.

“Weird, it looks like he’s traveling southeast. Do you know where he lives?” He asked, looking at the tiny dot on the map.

“I think he lives in Texas.”

“Okay, how important is it that you talk to him right now?” Tony asked, already tapping buttons as he intuited the answer.

“Very. Why, can you get a hold of him?” Clint said, looking over his shoulder. Bucky, however, chose that unfortunate moment to roll over and fall with a dull thud.

“What was that?” Clint asked, spinning around. “Did you kidnap Bucky?”

“Shit, yeah, well, sorta… Steve knows… he was dying, just help me…” He stuttered, gesturing to the table with his hands. Thankfully Clint got the message, and gripped Bucky’s legs, helping him position him back on the table. Tony re-strapped him, no longer trusting his unconsciousness alone to hold him.

“Okay, so you really need to talk to Thor, right?” He asked again. Clint nodded, prompting Tony to tap the screen multiple times.

“What are you doing?” Clint asked.

“Overriding the calling system, it will send the call straight through so he can’t decline or hang up. Just keep it short; I don’t wanna wake the gremlin.” Tony said, nodding at Bucky.

“You… can do that?” Clint asked.

“Just talk.” He said, pressing the button and walking over to Bucky, who had since continued stirring.

“Come on bud, this med should have been enough.” He muttered, double-checking the calculations he had made (which were scrawled on one of those awful turkey napkins he had found). “Why aren't you staying asleep.” he was about to up his pain medication, just to make sure he wasn’t waking up because he could feel his stitches, when Bucky’s phone rang, startling Tony. 

“What’s that?” Clint asked, turning away from the phone call he was on. Tony picked up the phone to check, not recognizing the caller ID. In response he held it up to show clint, making the other wince. 

“What?” Tony asked, scrawling the name in a notebook while Clint took the phone.

“I know what’s going on,” Clint said, looking pained.

“Is it bad?” He asked.

“I mean, it might involve a marmite cult.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!


	8. Helicopters and explosive plants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Come on, you didn’t seriously think that I was going to make you ride in a truck like that, did you?” he said, smirking. “I might like experiments, but I’m not suicidal,” he said, grabbing onto the arm of the helicopter and gesturing for the others to follow his lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

“What?” Tony asked. He was pretty sure he dropped something.

“Have you ever meet Thor’s siblings?” Clint asked, looking apprehensive. Tony shook his head, confused. 

“No, I… What does that have to do with marmots?” he asked.

“He has two siblings, Loki and Hela- well, Loki’s adopted but still- they’re… different, and… Hela has made some… strange decisions in her life. And sometimes these decisions, well, they target Loki and Thor, and…”

“Spit it out, Legolas,” Tony said, making the wrapping up motion with his hands.

“I’ve known Thor and Loki since high school, and since 10th grade, Hela’s tried to kidnap them almost seven times. Sometimes Thor will take off for a few days and come back with Loki. We try to not question it.”

“Wait… Hela Odinsdirtirr?” Tony asked, intrigued.

“Yeah… how-”

“My dad’s been keeping track of her for a while.” He answered.

“Why on earth would he-” Clint started, interrupted by the door being thrown open. Clint stumbled back in surprise, knocking into the monitor.

“Hey, Steve. He's- be careful with that; it might explode.” Tony said, redirecting his attention to Clint, who was trying to right a plant he had knocked over.

“It’s a… plant.”

“A very heavily modified plant!” Tony said, taking the pot in his hands gingerly, wincing when he noticed the dirt around it growing warm. He hurriedly put it in the safe and slammed the door shut, relieved to hear the explosion several seconds later. 

“You scare me sometimes,” Clint said, sitting back on a stool gingerly.

“I get that a lot. Bucky hasn’t fully woken up again, Steve, but he seemed to be in some pain so I upped the meds and antibiotics. The incision will heal in a day or two if he’s careful, which you know he won’t be, but don’t let that get infected. Any further pain is from lingering infection,” Tony informed, hurrying around the makeshift lab before handing a bottle of pills to Steve. “The two are combined in one pill. He needs to take two a day, got it?” he asked. Steve nodded and tossed the bottle in his backpack before making his way over to Bucky, who looked like he might be waking up a bit more.

“What… did you do?” Clint asked, looking slightly apprehensive.

“I’ll tell you later; don’t worry about it. So, what exactly is going on with Thor again?”

“I think Hela might have kidnapped Loki. Again.” Clint said, wringing his hands anxiously.

“And Thor went after her?” Tony asked.

“I mean, presumably.”

Tony stared at Clint for a long moment. He knew what he had to do, and what he hoped everyone else would do, but no one was gonna like it. 

“Well, let’s get going then,” he said, standing up.

“Going? Going where?” At Clint’s question, Steve snapped his head to look at them, his blue eyes round and worried.

“To help him save his brothers ass. Obviously. Have everyone meet me in the south parking lot in 20.” Tony said, already halfway out the door. “And before you ask, Bucky is fine to come too, drummer boy, but he’ll be out for a while.”  
With that, he left. He had a few favors to call in, and he needed something to do in order to distract him from the nagging worry that nobody would show. Either way, he could help Thor, but it would be a hell of a lot easier with backup. Plus, if he wasn’t mysterious about this, it would distract from his actual mysterious missions.

0o0o0o

It was exactly 21 minutes later that Tony found himself strolling into the parking lot, fully expecting it to be empty. To his surprise, everyone was there, save Bruce. He was about to ask, but Natasha thankfully filled him in.

“Bruce says that he needs to study, and we should all be in class, but good luck.” She informed. Tony grinned at that, reminding him of the headphones he was already working on for his Christmas gift. 

“So… what are we doing here?” Steve asked, “And roughly how long will this take?” 

“Oh come on, you were in the room when I did the whole plotting thing,” Tony said indignantly, “Am I really that boring?” 

“I personally have never been born in your presence,” Clint said with a raise of his hand. “Scared for my life, sure, but never bored.” 

“Listen, I feel like at this point you should expect anything that normal looking in my lab would be explosive.”

"It was a _plant _."__

__“When did you get a lab?” Natasha asked, looking vaguely concerned._ _

__“Is that where you sleep? Please tell me that’s where you sleep.” Sam asked._ _

__“No. Okay, I’m sure that Clint filled you in on the nature of this mission, but it took me a while to figure out how we’re gonna do it.”_ _

__“And how is that?” Steve said wearily. In response, Tony turned around and walked a few steps to flourish at the giant produce truck that was parked in front of the group._ _

__“No. No way in hell are we riding around in a produce truck to Texas.” Steve said._ _

__“Oh come on, you know I would never make you do that. This is Roe’s dad’s truck. He just let me write on it.” He said, grinning ear to ear. One thing that his father hadn’t needed to train him on was dramatic presentations._ _

__“Then what are we…” Steve started when he was cut off by a loud familiar noise. He had to actually resist the urge to laugh maniacally. He was never going to become a supervillain, but man, he could see the appeal. He didn’t need to turn around to see that his helicopter was landing right behind him. His friend's faces said enough._ _

__“Come on, you didn’t seriously think that I was going to make you ride in a truck like that, did you?” he said, smirking. “I might like experiments, but I’m not suicidal,” he said, grabbing onto the arm of the helicopter and gesturing for the others to follow his lead. It took a while for them to all get on, and Tony saw Clint and Steve accidentally drop Bucky. Even from the cockpit, he heard the thud, making everyone wince._ _

__“Please tell me that you don’t know how to fly this and there’s another pilot somewhere hidden in this plane.”_ _

__“Helicopter,” he corrected Natasha._ _

__“Tony…” she started, sounding like she was talking to a child. Which he supposed was true in a way, but not in any that he might admit._ _

__“Shh, listen, Nat, I’ve been flying things like this since I was 8.”_ _

__“That doesn't make this any better and you know it,” she said, her eyes narrowed._ _

__“Hey Tony, do you need any help up here? I studied flying in boy scouts three years ago-”_ _

__“Yeah, okay, altar boy. I got it.” Natasha said, slamming the colored screen shut in his face._ _

__“Hey!” Steve’s voice yelled threw, through, sounding distant._ _

__“Go use your boy scout manual first aid in Buchanan back there,” Tony said, punching a few buttons on the control panel._ _

__“Who on earth is Buchanan?” Nat asked over the roar of the propellers. He looked at her for a second._ _

__“Bucky. It’s short for Buchanan.” He said, staring at her. “How did you not know that? It was on his file.”_ _

__“I had bigger problems then... Buchanan? Really?”_ _

__“Yes. Wasn’t that the time when your boyfriend Ricky decided to-” He started, a grin on his face._ _

__“Sharpen his own teeth, yeah. I had to take him into the hospital. The idiot didn’t realize that you have nerves in your teeth and was screaming in pain for hours,” she informed._ _

__“Why are you still dating… that?” he asked. Tony had spent literal weeks being trained on how to judge someone based on minuscule non-verbal cues, and everything about Ricky screamed danger._ _

__“I like that he isn’t scared of me.” She said matter-of-factly. “But that’s irrelevant. Why the hell did you learn to fly a helicopter?”_ _

__“Listen, that one wasn’t as bad as it sounds. I needed to escape-”_ _

__“Escape what?” She interrupted._ _

__“Just a stupid ransom kidnapping. I swear, those are a dime a dozen. Anyway, the dude got upset cuz my dad wasn’t gonna pay a ransom and so he called a bunch of news people and tied me to the bottom with duct tape and was gonna- actually, I have no idea what the plan was. Long story short, he ended up dead, and I learned how to fly a helicopter pretty fast.”_ _

__Natasha looked vaguely ill by the time the story was over, and she kept pressing on her temples. “How do you know where everything is? You can’t have learned everything then.”_ _

__“I built this when I was bored, so the controls are re-organized,” he supplied. She seemed to get worse every time he opened his mouth._ _

__“Tony, I’m not stupid. I know who you are, you’ve been all over the news since you were born,” she started. He was beginning to feel more and more uncomfortable as she continued talking. “Which means I know how much younger you are, and I don’t like the fact that-” She was cut off by screaming and multiple loud thuds in quick succession._ _

__“Well, sounds like Bucky woke up. Why don’t you go make sure everyone’s still alive back there? Good? Good, thanks,” he said, pushing her behind him and re-closing the hatch._ _

__

__0o0o0 Natasha’s POV 0o0o0o_ _

__Bucky had actually woken up and didn’t seem thrilled to have been placed on a helicopter while unconscious._ _

__“Bucky, hold on, let me explain!” Steve said, trying to placate his friend._ _

__“We need to all just decide right now that we’re not gonna do this anymore!” Bucky said, looking panicked._ _

__“What do you mean by this?” Steve asked._ _

__“The whole kidnapping and waking up in statistically implausible places with no context and more injuries than you started with,” Bucky said._ _

__“If it all happens in one day, then it is an isolated incident!” Tony yelled from the front._ _

__“Why don’t you just focus on not killing us, Tony?” Sam muttered. Natasha glanced at him for a moment. He was definitely paler than usual, and he looked kinda shaky._ _

__“Shut up, Sam.” Bucky said.”Wait, is Tony flying this?”_ _

__“Don’t worry, he has a whole four hours of experience,” Natasha assured. She couldn’t prove anything, but she was pretty sure that the resulting jolt and 90-degree turn was intentional._ _

__“This is insane. I’ve finally snapped and I am just hallucinating this insane trip because… something, and-” Bucky moved to pull his hair out of his face, and they all stopped. He stared at his left arm in shock. He had been wearing a hoodie, so no one noticed anything unusual, except that his left arm moved. Well, to. He slowly rolled up the sleeve to reveal a perfectly shaped metal arm, made with interlocking shiny plates. It looked just like a normal arm, but metal. Bucky swore colorfully._ _

__“Your arm just worked,” Steve said, staring at it._ _

__“Yeah.” he echoed._ _

__“Tony you didn’t tell me that it was a working arm!” Steve called, looking slightly panicked._ _

__“What’s going on?” Sam asked, taking out an earbud, and looking only slightly less green._ _

__“Bucky’s arm works,” Clint said._ _

__“Okay… did it not always?” Sam asked, looking at all of them._ _

__“Ugh, just go like, sit in a corner or something, Sam,” Natasha said, pointing to a far corner. Nodding, Sam retreated with his phone and a paper bag._ _

__“So, we’re all just gonna let Tony fly us to Texas? Nobody thinks this is insanely dangerous or irresponsible and definitely illegal?” Steve asked._ _

__“Of course it is, we’re doing it anyway,” Clint muttered. He was probably trying to sound annoyed, but his face gave it away. He looked like a little kid on Christmas whenever they did something like this._ _

__“Hey, guys?” Tony called. Natasha jumped up to undo the screen separating them. She wouldn’t admit it, but whenever Tony did something stupid and genius like this she felt antsy. It didn’t help that he was controlling the metal cage they were all in, traveling at 311m/h._ _

__“What?” she asked, slightly breathless. With the curtain undone, she could see just how fast they were going, and it looked like they were headed to the ground._ _

__“I found Thor.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope ya'll liked it <3 please review. Also, Please Please PLEASE take the quiz i posted in the notes of the last chapter, it is super helpful for me. Thanks :)


	9. Kaboom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is everyone alive?” Steve asked when they had all gotten out. Well, most of them, Sam had passed out during the dive.
> 
> “Yeah, I think so.” She said, counting heads.
> 
> “Jeeze, your acting like I crashed the chopper,” Tony said.
> 
> “You did.” Clint supplied.
> 
> “No, I landed with style.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, two fics in one night, I'm on fire. Enjoy!

“You found Thor? Where?” Natasha asked, looking for any sign of their blond friend, as though he might have been hiding somewhere on the helicopter the whole time. Tony gestured to the highway they were flying over. It took her a minute because she had ignorantly assumed that Thor would be inside of his transportation. 

“Is that a garbage truck?” she asked, concerned.

“Looks like it,” Tony said.

“What are you gonna do?” she asked. In response, Tony eased the control, which she noticed had been styled like a Star Wars ship, steering them into almost a nose dive straight at the concrete. She steadied herself against the metal wall as the teen maneuvered them into a hover just behind the truck.

“Hey guys, Sam just vomited on a motorcycle,” Clint said, sounding marginally concerned.

“Cool, can you pull that lever?” Tony asked.

“Which one, there’s, like, 17,000 in here,” Clint asked.

“That’s impossible. The one with the yellow and blue stripes. And grab onto something,” he instructed. She twisted in the seat next to the rogue 15-year-old just in time to see Clint following Tony’s instructions, causing the hatch on the left wall open with a deafening rush. 

“Shit,” Bucky said, followed by a multitude of other, more inventive words, which involved him combining basically every curse word he could think of with the word ‘cucumber’. 

“Hey!” She yelled. “Children are present.” 

“Eat shi-” Tony started before she slapped his arm. 

“Focus on not killing us for now,” Sam said, looking shaky.

“Here, Steve, take this,” he said, handing him a megaphone, clearly electing to ignore Sam. “I need you to yell down at Thor. Get his attention, because I can’t hover close enough to reach him for very long.” 

“On it,” Steve said, grabbing the megaphone, which he did need a bit of help with, but managed to get working.

“Hey! Thor!” Steve yelled. There were a few sounds of commotion before the helicopter started to dip, coming within jumping distance with the ground. Thor must have made it on because there was a string of colorful curse words, and shortly after, Thor stuck his head in, looking much more concerned than she had ever seen him.

“Friend Tony, they said you might be able to aid me in rescuing my brother, is this true?” Thor asked sincerely.

“Yep. We’re flying to Texas as we speak.” Tony informed. “We’re over Oklahoma right now, so it shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“How the hell are we in Oklahoma, we left an hour ago?” Natasha said, looking confused. Tony shot her a look so saturated with sarcasm she didn’t even stick around to hear his response, opting instead to climb back into the body of the helicopter.

“What if I got Tony to make me a giant music box and then…” She heard Clint say.

“Clint, she’s been saying no since fourth grade, I don’t think a music box will change her mind,” Steve replied. She cleared her throat, causing both their heads to snap to her. Clint was bright red, and it physically hurt to not laugh.

“We land in an hour,” she said, and then tilted her head at Clint. “And I have a boyfriend.”

“Why on earth are you still dating Ricky anyways? He thinks he’s a cougar.” Clint said, scowling.

“No better option.” She lied, smirking. She knew she was being a tiny bit evil, but it was adorable how flustered she could make him.

“Nat, will you go on a date with me?” He asked, grinning.

“No.” 

“Yeah Okay,” Clint said, smiling as well. No matter how he really felt, this had been a routine that they developed in 6th grade. She didn't allow him to be her ‘boyfriend’ if anyone else was hitting on her, but only then.

“How many times are you two gonna do this?” Steve asked with an eye roll.

“Until she says yes.” 

“Forever,” she said at the same time, making Steve laugh.

“Hey, guys?” Tony called.

“What?” Steve asked, jostling Bucky, who was asleep on his lap. Clint took a picture.

“So, there might be a teeny tiny storm in a few minutes, so I’m gonna pick up the pace, so just hold onto something. And maybe kick Sam off.” Tony called.

“Wait, Tony no,” Steve said, getting up. He didn’t have time to finish his sentence, because Tony kicked it up a notch, making everyone tumble a bit, Steve face planted, Sam threw up, and Clint managed to make them both fall off the bench.

“Hey, Clint?” She asked, sweetly.

“Yeah?”

“Get the hell off of me.” She said, giving him a shove. He stumbled back, bright red again.

“Tony! This is a very, VERY bad idea! Slow down!” Thor cried.

“Sorry Zeus, but I gotta get to Dillon before the storm. Hail that size could completely wreck the propellers while there in motion. At this speed, it should only take 15 minutes.” Tony called over the wind. She let her head drop onto the ground with a thud. 

“We’re all gonna die,” Clint said.

“I’ll drink to that.” She responded, yelling when something hit the back of her head. “Hey!”

“You said you’d drink to that!” Tony yelled back.

“ is this vodka!” she screamed. “Why is it almost empty!” 

Tony just looked back with a shit-eating grin, jostling the plane a little.

“Tony, your 18!” Clint said. “Your brain is still developing!” 

“You have no idea.” She added.

“Come on Clint, don’t act like your brother didn’t give you back when you were 17,” Tony replied. She had to bite her lip to keep from responding to that. 

“Wait… who was that?” Clint said.

“You forgot!” Steve asked.

“Listen, I have 17 brothers, and I'm the youngest. It’s hard to keep them all straight.”

“How?” Steve asked, pressing his hands together and pointing them.

“It was Louie,” Tony called back. 

“How did you…”

“He told me when we were texting.” Tony supplied, cutting Clint of.

“Of course,” Clint said, throwing his hands up, and accidentally slapping Bucky in the process, who woke up (again) with a start. 

“Owww.” 

“Okay, I’m descending, really hold on now.” Was all the warning Tony gave, before they basically nose-dived at the ground.

0o0o0o

“Is everyone alive?” Steve asked when they had all gotten out. Well, most of them, Sam had passed out during the dive.

“Yeah, I think so.” She said, counting heads.

“Jeeze, your acting like I crashed the chopper,” Tony said.

“You did.” Clint supplied.

“No, I landed with style.”

“Okay, well next time, heaven forbid there ever is one, try and, you know, warn us,” Bucky added from the ground, which he still hadn’t gotten up from.

“I mean, I did, just not really in advance.”

“I see my house1” Thor exclaimed, taking off. They exchanged looked, before following him.

“What should we do about Sam?” Steve asked as they neared a farm style house, surrounded by trees, that Natasha was pretty sure where plastic.  
“I left a window open, he’ll be fine.” Tony whispered. Steve looked like he wanted to say something, but they had reached the door, and Thor did not seem to be in the mood to hesitate.  
“Here we go.” She said wincing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, please please please review!


	10. Oh, Hi Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tony, watch yourself. you don’t know their sister as we do. She’s insane.” Clint said.
> 
> “I know, my dad’s been trying to study her for years; I know all about her,” he said, busting down the door. He froze, seeing the source of the water. 
> 
> “Loki?” Natasha asked.
> 
> “He’s alive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it.

“Loki! Brother, where are you?” Thor shouted, sprinting inside. Tony followed, pausing inside the doorway. 

“Is that a stuffed marmot?” Clint asked, freezing.

“This is Hela, did you expect anything else?” Natasha said, grabbing Clint and leading him in by his upper arm. Despite the situation, Tony had to hold back a laugh at Clint’s face. He still wasn’t sure what their relationship was, but it was definitely something, and it was hilarious. 

“Brother! Hello?” Thor’s voice boomed, followed by a multitude of bangs. 

“Thor!” He hissed, jogging up to him. “Thor, bud, hey, maybe tone it down just, like, 15%, kay? We don’t know if anyone else is here, and I don’t want to anger any-” Tony started, cut off when Thor opened the pantry, and a human (he thought it was a human, anyway) covered in a fur coat and pants duo hissed at them, racing past. Everyone (aside from Nat) screeched as the “person” brushed them. Clint leaped into Natasha’s arms, which she did not seem to appreciate.

“Aww, is wittle baby Cwint scared?” She copied, before dropping him in his ass.

“Ow.”

“What the heckity heckity the sticky tacky was that?” Steve screeched.

They all froze and turned to face Steve.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Bucky asked. 

"Uh, I wish I had that on video!" Clint said, smiling. 

"you do," Tony said, choosing to not elaborate.

“It was how I was raised, okay?” Steve said blushing. 

“That’s strange though, you see, because I was raised with you, and I have never in my life said h-” 

“Okay, let’s focus on the missing teenager, kay?” Steve said, staring at them. “Good.” Steve stormed to the other room.

“Friends, I still cannot find Loki, I fear something truly awful may have happened,” Thor said. Tony hadn’t ever seen the man look so worried before. 

“Okay Thor, let’s just take a deep breath-” Steve said.

“Why don’t we follow the waterfall?” Natasha asked, nodding her head so her red hair swung down, smacking Sam in the face.

“Weren't you in the helicopter?” Bucky asked.

“Haven’t you heard ‘Tasha?” Clint asked, smirking.

“Don’t call me that, and heard what?”

Clint smirked, “Don’t go chasing waterfalls-” He sang, doing one of the absolute worst dances Tony had ever seen. Natasha slapped him hard enough for him to look quite like a kicked puppy.

Tony looked at where Natasha was gesturing, seeing a stream of water running down from the upstairs. 

“Perfect,” he muttered, chasing it.

“Tony, be careful!” Someone called. He thought it sounded like Clint, but he was focusing on other things. A moment later he heard footsteps behind him, making him spin around. Natasha rammed into him, making Clint ram into her. 

“Hey!” he exclaimed.

“Tony, watch yourself. you don’t know their sister as we do. She’s insane.” Clint said.

“I know, my dad’s been trying to study her for years; I know all about her,” he said, busting down the door. He froze, seeing the source of the water. 

“Loki?” Natasha asked, rushing in, followed closely by Clint. Tony was surprised to see how young the teen looked. Loki was sitting in a bathtub, bound and gagged, with both taps turned on. He was awake, but clearly not alert. His head had slumped to the side and his eyes where unfocused. Natasha was already at his side, two fingers on his neck. 

“He’s alive.” She said, breathing out a sigh of relief as she turned to Clint. They started turning off the water and lifting him out.

“Hey guys, he’s up here!” Tony called, rushing around to the door. Moments later he could hear Thor thundering up, looking anxious. The others followed, looking less anxious than the others. 

“Is he okay?” Steve asked. 

“Well, I’d guess he’s freezing, but he’s definitely alive.” He supplied. Tony had learned the hard way that promises that people would be fine had never ended well. Thor rushed in, helping them untie him. Tony hung back, unsure of how Loki was going to react to… whatever this is, and he had a great gift at making everything worse. Tony could tell the moment that the gag had come off because Loki started talking. And he didn’t sound happy.

“Thor, let go of me immediately!” Loki’s voice (He assumed it was Loki’s) followed by some banging. 

“Loki! You are alive!” Thor boomed.

“Of course I'm alive! Hela couldn’t kill me if she tried.” Loki said haughtily.

“Remember when you were 11 and…-” Bucky started, making Loki chuck his gag at him. 

“Thor, if you do not let go of me I will refuse to come with you,” Loki said. Thor didn’t seem to be worried about that, because he definitely wasn’t letting go.

“Loki, did you see where they put the key for these locks?” Clint asked, examining them after they pried Thor off.

“Doesn't matter, there filled with glue.” He said. 

“Well, we can cut them off at campus,” Natasha said, pulling him up. 

“Here, I have bolt cutters.” Tony supplied, grabbing them out of his backpack.

Steve took a deep breath. “Why?” He asked. 

“We were going to save someone from a kidnapping, of course, I brought bolt cutters.” He said, tossing them to Nat, who caught them with a glare.

“I can’t believe you were walking around with a blade in your backpack this whole time,” Clint said. 

“You can’t?” Sam asked. “Have you seen our dorm? He’s making a… thing and it keeps talking to me at night.”

“Shut up Sam,” Steve called.

“Hey, they're safer than the flame saw thrower.” He defended.

“What?” Natasha asked.

“It’s a lot like a flame thrower, but… saws.”

“Can I see?” Loki asked, rubbing the indents the chains had left of his hands. Tony made a move to pull it out before Natasha grabbed his bag from him. 

“Remind me I can’t ever leave you two alone together, okay?” She said, grabbing them both by the backs of there shirts and leading them downstairs.

“Oh come on Natasha, Tony’s an adult, and Loki basically is, what’s the worst they could do?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah Nat, I'm an adult.” He said, grinning at her. She very purposefully stepped on his foot with her heel. “Ow.”

Loki turned to him, a curious look on his face. “You’re Tony Stark, right?” loki asked. Panicked, he made a slicing motion across his throat. Loki nodded understanding, but he continued smirking. 

“Yep.” He said, popping the ‘P’.

“Interesting.” 

“Did you know each other?” Steve asked, appearing downstairs.

“In a way,” Loki said, mysteriously.

“I had to write some scientific papers for school and submitted it to something. It ended up on the news for a while, he probably saw that.” Tony lied smoothly. It would be believable enough for them, they had seen his lab already, but not outlandish. In his defense, plenty of his scientific papers had been published, so it was probable that Loki had seen one of those. Or the reverse X-ray that had a much more scientific name now. Or the kidnappings, although only 15 had ever been documented on the news, his father thought that to many would bring to much attention to his parenting. Or the variation he made to the polygraph, or- well there were a lot of ways Loki could know who he was.

“Yeah, the one on the X-ray thing.” Loki said. Tony had no idea why he was playing along, but for some reason, he didn’t think it was only for Tony’s benefit. 

“Yeah…”

“Loki, do you need any clothes?” Bucky asked, making his way to the teen's room. 

“Well, about that…” Loki started, soon cut off by a scream.

“What is this! Why is it moving!” Bucky screeched.

“Yeah, they were trying to convert me to ‘the ways of the marmit’ so they burnt my clothing and replaced it with… that.” Tony observed as Bucky threw a pile of fur into the hallway. 

“Is that a fursuit?” Natasha asked. 

“Yep. No idea what it’s made of.”

“I would guess fur.” Steve said, wrinkling his nose. 

“Fascinating.” He leaned down to try and examine the stitching, when Natasha yanked hard on his shirt, temporarily choking him. 

“No touching.”

“But it’s for science Nat!” he whined. Shockingly, she didn’t seem to care.

“Okay guys, let's keep it moving.” Steve interjected. 

“Yeah, the helicopter isn’t great in any kind of heat.” 

“The what?” Loki asked. Tony just laughed. 

“Don’t worry, he’s been flying them since he was 16.” Steve told Loki.

“Great. This is great.” Loki said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review if you liked it! I literally squeal when I get them, my classmates find it quite annoying. Thank you for reading!!!


	11. Tony what the F-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tony, are you okay?” Steve asked in alarm. Worried, he peered down at his ankle, seeing in swollen and already black and blue Also, the bone was sticking out. 
> 
> “Yep, just twisted my ankle a bit when I landed-” 
> 
> “Crashed” Loki interjected.
> 
> “-The helicopter, it’s nothing.” He said, hoping to one foot. “See.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy, merry Christmas!

“So he’s flying a helicopter?” Loki asked. He was seated on the floor, as they where one seat short. Natasha had asked Tony about it, to which he replied that he ‘must have forgotten someone’ with a smile. The kind that told her that everything about that was intentional. Actually, everything Tony did was always intentional. Clint had offered her his lap to sit on. She had kicked him in the stomach and then sat as far away from him as possible, just to make a point. Meaning that they were currently texting about what had just happened while she had a conversation with Loki, who had point-blank refused to sit on Thor's lap.

“Mhm.” She responded, smirking at the photo Clint had taken during the crash last time. 

“And… everyone's just, okay with this?” Loki asked again.

“Are you scared of flying brother? You never minded the airplane trips to New York.” Thor asked, looking concerned as he placed a giant hand on Loki’s shoulder. 

“Unhand me. No, I’m not scared of flying, I just prefer the pilot to have more experience than Tony does.” Loki pouted. Natasha reached forward and ruffled his hair. It didn’t really matter to her how much he insisted he was ‘edgy’ now, she still had photos of him going to theater camp at 9. 

“Loki, I know none of us are comfortable with this, but Tony does have a lot of experience, his dad taught him when he was younger,” Steve said, looking slightly disappointed in the way only Steve could. 

“And how old was he when that happened?” Tony heard Loki asked. He tightened his grip on the wheel in anticipation. He knew that Natasha would play along with whatever lies he spun and that no one would suspect her of it because she was way too good. But Loki might be another story.

“He was 16,” Bucky said. He could feel the look on Natasha’s face from here.

“Uh huh. And how old is he now?” Loki asked. He took a deep breath. He tried to tap into the training he remembered going through. It wasn’t difficult, it had been drilled into him since he could talk. If you are guilty of what you’re being accused of, be loud. No one expects the accused to be cracking jokes or debating about cereal. Except he didn’t think he could talk right now, at least not without sounding like a kid. 

“He’s a freshman,” Natasha said. He unwillingly let out a shaky breath. 

“So… 18?” Loki questioned.

“I would assume so.” She responded smoothly. Tony couldn’t help but admire her technique. She was smooth with her answers while staying away from anything incriminating in case they find out. It was something he had been trained on endlessly for news interviews. 

“But isn’t he-” Loli started. Panicked, Tony jerked the handlebars downwards, before really processing what he was going. The helicopter obediently started it’s decent. 

“Tony, what the heck is going?” Steeve called his voice panicked. Tony had quickly learned that the more flustered he was, the stranger his language got.

“Don’t worry.” He said, forcing a calm tone. They actually really should be worried, he was going to fast, and they were going to crash in probably 20 seconds.

“Crash Protective Prodigal Engaged.” A robotic voice said loudly. 

“Tony, what’s going on, why is the ground still getting closer?” Bucky asked, his voice sounding slightly high. And squeaky.

He didn’t have a chance to respond though, because a few moments later the world went black. 

This was it. 

He was dead.

“Is everyone okay?” Steve asked, his voice tight and panicked.

“Well, I’m alive, so no.” Loki’s voice said, muffled.

He twisted in his seat, trying to find a light source. His head was pounding so hard he was pretty sure that he could feel his literal life force draining with every thump. It took him an embarrassingly long time to realize that his eyes were closed. He felt like he couldn’t move anything, and he was surrounded by noise. 

“Tony!” He heard, accompanied by a sharp slam in his face. He tried to ignore his pain and open his eyes, which wasn’t fun. They felt sticky, reminding him of the time he had to have them tapped down for a 4-hour long brain surgery. He had been temporarily paralyzed, so he couldn’t move, but he had felt everything. Actually, there were a lot of similarities between the two experiences, the longer he thought about it. 

“What the hell, he has a head injury Bucky, don’t slap him!"

With much effort, he was able to open his eyes, instantly feeling irritation in the left one. He brought his hand up, and pulled it away, seeing blood. 

“Tony! Are you okay? Can you hear us?” Natasha said, suddenly in his line of sight. He was definitely not okay, he felt like he had broken every bone in his body, which had actually happened before, he was pretty sure that had hurt less.   
“Of course I can hear you.” He said, wincing at how snappy his own voice sounded. He didn’t want them thinking he was hurt. 

“What happened? You flew fine this whole time?” Steve asked. It took a few seconds to long for him to drag his gaze to the blonde.

“I was trying to get a fly off the steering wheel, but it got caught underneath and locked the control, any amount of liquid would be enough in a prototype like this.” He said, not even thinking before the lie had left his mouth. It was believable.

“Ew,” Clint said, wrinkling his nose.

“Why are you the only one hurt?” Natasha asked, appearing in front of him again. 

Oh. He remembered now. 

“I made it so that the nano field came around the rest of the helicopter and cut through here,” He waved in the general direction of the intact bit. “But I wanted the rest to crash.” 

“Why… just, why?” Steve asked. His vision was coming back a lot clearer now and he could see all of their faces at once instead of turning his head, so at least he had that going for him. 

“I figured that if it was crashing I wouldn’t be flying.” He said. Finally, his head was clear enough he could push himself off the ground. “We were pretty close when we crashed, in Illinois at least. I could fix this, but it might be easier to just try and find a bus and…” He looked around the field they had crashed in. There was nothing, except for long fields of corn in every direction. “Well, I might be able to fix it.”

“Are you sure you were passed out for almost three minutes,” Steve said. He silently cursed. That was gonna be tricky to cover up. 

“I’m fine. I’ve built in worse conditions before and had it turn out okay.” He assured.

“Hey guys, do you know the password for the ‘Phils Quacken Chicken' restaurant? It won't let me log onto Wifi without it.” Loki asked. 

“You’re within range?” Natasha asked. Loki gave a disinterested nod. 

“That means we’re within range,” Bucky said. 

“Better not walk in the wrong direction,” Steve muttered, pulling his jacket around himself. In response, Tony pulled his way onto the roof of what remained of the copter. Squinting, he could see a large light somewhere there left.  
“Unless I’m seeing things it’s that way.” He said, startling them. 

“Tony, get off, your gonna get hurt,” Natasha commanded. Obediently he slid down, allowing Thor to pull himself up to confirm. 

“Tony seems to be correct, I see a light that way.” 

He smirked at Nat, who looked shaken and unhappy. “You’re not allowed out of my sight for the rest of the trip.” She commanded. 

“Come oooooon.” He whined, wincing when his pout pulled at the cut on his forehead, making it bleed again. “I’m an adult.” He said. He loved watching the slight tick on her face whenever he said that. He didn’t know why she was playing along with it, but now that she had committed to it she wasn’t going to compromise the lie.

“You’re impulsive and you already crashed the helicopter twice.” She said, wrapping her arms fully around his upper arm. “It doesn't matter how old you are, if you act too young I’ll treat you that way.” She said, jostling him a bit to get him to follow her. He took a step and promptly fell down. 

“Tony, are you okay?” Steve asked in alarm. Worried, he peered down at his ankle, seeing in swollen and already black and blue Also, the bone was sticking out. 

“Yep, just twisted my ankle a bit when I landed-” 

“Crashed” Loki interjected.

“-The helicopter, it’s nothing.” He said, hoping to one foot. “See.” 

Clint seemed to be the only one who actually looked, and he cursed colorfully when he saw- really any part of it. “No way am I letting you walk on that.” He said.

“Well there’s not really an alternative is there? Unless you want to learn how to fly in the next 30 seconds, we better start walking.” Clint shook his head, making eye contact with whoever was standing behind him at the moment, which he had a feeling was Natasha because they could do that freaky silent communication thing that some people can. which is how Tony Stark ended up being carried by Clint through a cornfield at one in the morning, is search on ‘Phil’s Quacken Chicken’ shack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, please review!! Also, I posted a Christmas one-shot like, 5 minutes ago, so feel free to check that out!


	12. Do the worm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I hear that a lot. Do you guys wanna get some food? Cuz I’m hungry,” Tony said, limping towards the dinner.  
> “I can’t even… how… what?” Clint said, turning to Natasha.  
> “Yes!” Thor and Bucky called at the same time.  
> “No, no. We need to talk about this,” Steve said, planting his feet.  
> “I’m fine with not,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!!! Merry Christmas!!!

“Tony, I swear, if you try to roll away again I am tying you up,” Natasha warned, placing him on the ground. They had been walking for almost an hour, and Natasha was getting antsy about Tony’s bone sticking out of his ankle. He had downright refused to be carried bridal style, meaning Clint had been giving him a piggyback until Thor (who was still clutching Loki, in case you were wondering) tripped, slamming into Clint’s back, making him fall, and Tony’s bad ankle ended up catching him, making the bone stick out a lot farther and now there was kind of a lot of blood.

“Guys, this literally happens all the time. There’s nothing to worry about,” he said, making sure to loosen his posture and keep his voice from lifting. Sure, it hurt like a bitch, but he didn’t want them knowing that. 

“Those two statements are an oxymoron,” Bucky said. “Hey Steve, is bone supposed to look like this? I think it looked different when I-” 

“Okay,” Steve said, kicking Bucky. “Yeah, that break looks pretty standard. You just managed to separate at the bone so you couldn’t see the marrow as you can here” 

“Great,” Loki said, turning away slightly. “That’s great.” 

“Guys, I can literally still walk. Don’t freak out so much,” he insisted. Honestly, their reaction was a little confusing, because he got wanting to make sure he was okay to a certain extent, but this felt excessive. It wasn’t like he was about to keel over and die from a broken ankle. 

“You can’t walk, your bone is sticking out of your ankle, and you sound like you have a broken rib,” Thor said. They all stared at him for a beat. 

“What?” He asked, cocking his head to the side, making him look like a puppy. 

“Never mind. Okay, is Thor right though? Did you break a rib?” Steve asked. “Because those can puncture a lung, and I don’t think I am equipped to deal with that.” 

“Maybe, just-just a little bit,” he said, loosening his arm gripping his side. 

“Are you kidding me? Lift up your shirt. I need to see how bad it is,” Natasha said, standing in front of him. 

“Guys, you don’t understand. These are pretty minor injuries. I’ll be healed in a couple of weeks. End of Thanksgiving break, max,” he said confidently, flashing a smile. He had gotten good at this, and it was reassuring when they backed off. 

“Okay, but we’re taking you to a hospital when we get back.” Steve relented. Tony just smirked, knowing that there was no way he would be setting foot in a hospital. Given the fact that half of the tech he sold went to the medical industry and that he had almost completed his credits for an engineering major, he was pretty sure he could treat whatever it was that might be wrong with him at home. 

“Please don’t try and walk on that, Tony,” Clint said. He made eye contact while slowly standing and holy shit that hurts his vision went white and he couldn’t think of anything but PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN. He had no idea how he didn’t completely fall over, but somehow he had managed to. Admittedly, he was pretty sure either he was swaying or the rest of the world was, although if they were placing bets, he would say it was him.

“-ony!” Oh look, they were talking to him. He turned painfully slowly to where the voice had come from. He had no idea who was speaking, but he knew enough to not let onto that. 

“Yes?” He said, in a practiced smooth voice. He knew exactly how to relax his throat and were to make him sound completely relaxed. His face was still tense, that would need more work when they got home. 

“Oh my gosh, you’re making it so much worse. Just, ahh okay, sit, sit down,” A voice said. He thought it was Bucky’s, but it could also have been Loki’s. He was about to explain he had no intention of sitting down but thank you when he felt someone kick the inside of his knees, making them buckle. 

“Okay, that was just rude,” he said. Finally, his vision was clearing up enough that he could see at least the outlines of their faces, which helps quite a lot actually. Turns out it _was _Bucky who was talking.__

__“Yeah, Tony, we don’t care. Someone grab him, we need to get to the restaurant before he bleeds out.” Steve’s face swam in front of him. Even in his definitely concussed state, he managed an eye roll._ _

__“I’m not gonna bleed out, genius. Unless the bone hit my anterior tibial artery, which, you know, it didn’t, because I’m still alive,” he said, infusing his voice with confidence._ _

__“I don’t care; you’re bleeding too much,” Steve said, and he was being lifted again, which he really did want to fight against, but he could feel the beginnings of shock settling in, and he knew that insisting he could walk and then collapsing would be worse than just being carried._ _

__“Only to make you feel better,” He insisted._ _

__“Sure Tony. Holy crap, you’re light,” Steve said, lifting him up and down. He swatted at the blond’s arm in retaliation._ _

__He must have blacked out, because he woke up again feeling significantly more aware, and in pain, to being dropped on the ground._ _

__“Steve! He’s practically dying!” Bucky yelled slapping his friend's arm “You can’t just drop him!”_ _

__“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry I forgot!” Steve said, his hands fluttering uncertainty around him._ _

__“I’m fine,” he said. He could hear his own voice sounding raspy and broken._ _

__“You passed out after trying to walk on your broken ankle and almost punctured a lung,” Natasha said, her voice hard._ _

__“Well, that would explain some things,” he said, clearing his throat. He leaned over to look at his ankle, which was looking a lot better than he expected it to. He took off his scarf to wrap it up._ _

__“What are you doing?” Steve asked, worried._ _

__“I don’t want the bone to set wrong and get all screwy,” He said, looping it around._ _

__“No. No-no-no. we are going to call an ambulance and get you taken to a hospital,” Steve said._ _

__“Except I know how to do this, Steve. If we go to the hospital all that will happen is they'll run tests to tell me what I already know and do something I can do here but it will take hours. I’m sure you all want to go home,``he said with a grin. Honestly, he felt horrible having made them trek through the cornfields in hopes of finding civilization._ _

__“Tony-” Natasha started. He didn’t give her time to finish though, yanking hard on the scarf, which in turn made pain erupts through his entire body. He clamped his jaw as tight as he could in an attempt to keep from screaming, and finished with shaky hands, tying it as tightly as possible. Still in shock, he managed to stand, keeping the weight off of his left leg._ _

__“See, good as new,” he said with a smile._ _

__“You are actually insane,” Loki said. He shot him a grin, which he was hoping he was playing off well. Based on Loki’s amusement, he was._ _

__“I hear that a lot. Do you guys wanna get some food? Cuz I’m hungry,” Tony said, limping towards the dinner._ _

__“I can’t even… how… what?” Clint said, turning to Natasha._ _

__“Yes!” Thor and Bucky called at the same time._ _

__“No, no. We need to talk about this,” Steve said, planting his feet._ _

__“I’m fine with not,” Tony said with a shrug, limping his way towards the door. He winced, feeling the hard-packed snowmaking him slide as he put down his hurt foot to try and stabilize himself, making him hiss. He looked back to see his friends hanging back, looking worried. “Come on, we’ll get food and get someone to pick us up. I have friends around here.” He urged._ _

__Hesitantly, they followed. Clint wrapped an arm around his shoulder to help him with the step up, which he was eternally thankful for because his plan had been to just walk on it._ _

__The moment that he walked in he was hit with the smell. It was almost worse than the time he had invented a kind of stink bomb… thing. It had actually been so bad that the government had paid them a couple of thousand dollars for the blueprints to use for battle, just to give you an idea about the smell._ _

__“Holy shit, what is that?” Clint asked, holding his nose._ _

__“Either military technology or rotten eggs; it’s hard to tell.” He supplied, trying to keep himself from leaning too heavily on Clint in an attempt to keep some semblance of his dignity. Not that it was going to really work, considering he had been carried bridal style while unconscious from a helicopter crash he had caused._ _

__“Okay, we’ll order. Clint, make sure that Tony sits down, please,” Steve said, walking over to the counter. He shot the blond a glare but allowed himself to be dragged lead to a booth._ _

__“Stay,” Clint said, before sprinting back to the others. Grumbling, he inspected the bandage on his ankle. It could have been a lot worse. The fracture could have been higher up, or on someone else. And he had been right, his artery had been spared, so it wasn’t really anything more than annoying._ _

__“Here,” Natasha said, dropping fries in front of him. “Eat.” He obediently popped a fry in his mouth, recoiling from the taste._ _

__“What?” Loki asked, taking one. “Oh my goodness, what did they put in there?” He asked, spitting into the napkin._ _

__“Really?” Bucky asked, eating five at a time. “Holy shit, what is that?”_ _

__“I’m pretty sure they just deep-fried mayonnaise,” he said, mentally opting to order coffee instead of food._ _

__“Maybe rotten mayonnaise,” Bucky said, spitting the fries on Steve’s plate._ _

__“Ew! Why would you do that!” Steve yelled, trying to clean his plate. Bucky just shrugged, smirking. “You have your own plate, Bucky!”_ _

__“Yours felt more appropriate,” Bucky said, smiling._ _

__“HOLY SHIT!” Loki screeched from across Tony. He looked at what Loki was staring at, to see that in the salad he had been eating there were 4 or 5 worms wiggling around. They were fairly normal-looking earthworms, normal color, and size, if not on the small side, so thankfully the likelihood of them poisoning the teen was low._ _

__“Are you okay?” Thor asked, his eyebrows furrowed._ _

__“There are worms in my salad!” he said, scrambling away from the offending bowl._ _

__“And dandelion leaves, see?” Steve said, examining some of the leaves with a knife. “And chickweed,” he added. Tony leaned over to see, eyes widening when he saw the flower Steve was pointing at. “Or is that baby’s breath?”_ _

__“Nope, that’s hemlock,” he said, grabbing one by its stem. “Loki, did you eat any of this?” he asked seriously._ _

__“No, I saw the worms and freaked out. I haven't eaten any of it,” Loki said. His eyes were wide and scared; those coupled with his dark hair, which had fallen from where it had been pinned back, gave him a much younger look._ _

__“Well, you’ll be fine then, but I wouldn’t eat anything else from here,” he said. Thor paused, already halfway through his second burger. He looked at the others. Natasha hadn’t eaten anything, but she had ordered hard-boiled eggs, which Tony was at least 80% sure weren't chicken, Steve had eaten half a burger, Clint was eating waffles, and Bucky…_ _

__“Bucky, there’s literally poison in Loki’s food, will you stop eating?” Natasha said, grabbing his… something._ _

__“Natasha, the pizza taco Sunday surprise stops for no one,” he said, reaching for it. A loud horn blared a few times outside, making them jump._ _

__“Oh, yeah, I called Bruce to pick us up, we should probably go,” he said, making a move to stand. Bucky whispered something to Steve._ _

__“No, you can’t get a box!” Was the last thing he heard before his vision started blacking out. Oh great._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!! Please review!


	13. Bruce is disappointed but not surprised.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hi Loki, is everyone alive?” Bruce asked, disinterested and tired. Clint couldn’t help but notice that he was wearing his PJs still and looked like he had just crawled out of bed. He glanced at his phone, wincing at its brightness, to see it was past 2:20 already. 
> 
> “More or less,” Steve said, choosing not to elaborate. 
> 
> “Good, because the hospital is over 20 minutes away, and I have a test.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! New chapter! I'm trying to post as much as possible over winter break. For those of you who read my last chapter as soon as it came out, first of thank you, second, I changed it so bruce is picking them up not a friend of Tony's dad.

Clint climbed into her van, trying to position himself so he could keep an eye on both Tony, who seemed determined to ignore his injury as much as possible, and Natasha, because for some reason, she seemed more affected by the crash than the rest of them. It wasn’t difficult to do; they were sitting next to each other. Or Natasha was sitting, and Tony was slumped over onto her because Bucky had burnt all of the seatbelts off a couple of years ago when he found out that, shockingly, VW vans from the ’60s didn’t have backseat seat belt sensors. They were on a budget. 

“Hi Loki, is everyone alive?” Bruce asked, disinterested and tired. Clint couldn’t help but notice that he was wearing his PJs still and looked like he had just crawled out of bed. He glanced at his phone, wincing at its brightness, to see it was past 2:20 already. 

“More or less,” Steve said, choosing not to elaborate. 

“Good, because the hospital is over 20 minutes away, and I have a test.”

“It feels like you have a lot of tests,” Bucky said. 

“I have a normal amount. You guys are just failing your classes,” Bruce said with a scowl.

“That’s not true. I make Tony do my homework,” Bucky shot back. 

Natasha shifted in her seat at the comment, before peeking at the makeshift scarf-splint wrapped around Tony’s ankle. He couldn’t help but notice that their friend looked incredibly young while sleeping. His normally large, manic eyes were closed peacefully, and his head slumped down in a way that would probably make Clint look like he had a double chin but just made him took like a sleeping child. 

“Yeah… so do I.” Sam said. 

“We have homework?” Thor asked from where he had attached himself to an incredibly annoyed Loki. Nobody really felt bad for him though because, until he turned 13, he would cling to all of them for as long as possible. Of course, to hear him tell it, now he wouldn’t even think of doing something like that, let alone enjoying it, but they had known him far too long to be fooled. 

“How on earth did any of you pass last year?” Bruce asked, resting his head on the headrest. Steve patted his shoulder from the passenger seat, his designated place ever since the wolf spider incident. 

“No one knows,” Bucky said, wiggling his fingers. 

“Oh, hey, Bruce, do we still have a first aid kit in here?” Natasha asked. He looked curiously at her until he followed her gaze to the scarf that had been tied tightly around Tony’s ankle, which was already soaked through with blood. 

“Why?” he asked, his voice apprehensive. 

“Well, it’s kinda a long story,” Steve started, biting his lip. 

“Tony helped us save my brother using his helicopter, and then we were coming back and it crashed and we walked here. But he broke his leg,” Thor supplied. Bruce’s eyes widened, twisting in his seat. 

“What! Is he okay?” he asked, trying to assess the injury from his seat. “Holy shit, that’s bleeding through.” 

“He made us swear to not take him into the hospital,” he supplied, surveying his friends' injury while gnawing at his lip. “He seemed pretty determined to make us believe he was fine.” 

“I don’t care what he wants. If he broke his leg and is bleeding through, then he needs to be treated in a hospital,” Bruce said, getting ready to turn off. 

“No,” Natasha said, taking a shaky hand and checking his pulse. He glanced at his friend in concern. They had done all kinds of stupid things and gotten themselves hurt, and she never seemed to care. 

“No?” Bruce asked in surprise, doing the dad-turn things to make eye contact with her. 

“No,” she repeated, resting her hand on the freshman’s hair. “He trusted us to not make him go to the hospital. If he’s worse in the morning, then maybe.” She held Bruce's gaze fiercely. 

“Okay. But I’m not carrying him to the ambulance,” Bruce said, re-focusing on the road. 

“Good,” she said, looking back at their friend on her lap.

Clint looked at her, making eye contact for a moment. There was something there that he had hardly ever seen in his friend’s eyes. It was similar to the first time she had seen Loki kidnapped, her eyes hard and lips set in a thin line.   
“You okay?” he mouthed, looking at her curiously. 

She nodded, her scarlet hair catching the light of the moon through the window. He patted her arm quietly. 

“There’s something wrong here,” she mouthed finally, barely moving her mouth. Her green eyes flicked down to Tony’s face again. He was acting strange, not strange for Tony, of course, but strange. Who in their right mind would want to prove something so bad that they were willing to walk on that ankle break the way he had?

“Yeah,” he mouthed. She seemed to have decided the conversation was over because she leaned her head against the headrest before closing her eyes, her hand still resting on the freshmen protectively. Smirking, he silently grabbed his phone, snapping several pictures of the two for blackmail later. He stared out the window at the lights, blurred against the foggy glass, making a diamond pattern on the pane. 

0o0o0o0o

“How are we supposed to move him now?” Bucky asked, eyeing the fragile freshman in front of them. “If we carry him, we’ll screw up his leg.” 

“Would you prefer for him to sleep in a van?” Natasha asked. Thor had since disappeared, trying to find a place for Loki to sleep. His brother had been sleeping for most of the ride back, not that it had been a long car ride, but it had been a tiring day, especially for the teenager. 

“I’ll carry him up,” Clint volunteered. Tony was practically a bag of bones. A very short bag of bones at that, and they had parked pretty close to their dorms. 

“But you carried him in the cornfields,” Steve said, his eyebrows drawn together as he looked at the sleeping freshmen. “Maybe we should just wake him up.” 

“No!” they all said at the same time. Clint hadn’t actually been awake when he wasn’t before, and Clint had known Tony for almost two months. 

“So he can try and walk up there himself? No way. Clint, you go ahead and take him,” Natasha said. Obediently, he grabbed his friend, again surprised by his weight, or lack thereof, and started off to their dorms. As he walked, he eyed Tony’s ankle. The scarf had been completely soaked through with blood and was probably pretty useless at this point, but one look at the crazy knot that it was tied in was enough to dissuade him from attempting to remove it. He was absolutely not willing to risk letting his friend bleed out because of him. Quietly, he arrived at Tony and Sam's dorm, staring at the locked door. Hesitantly, he tried the handle. 

“Of course you keep your door unlocked,” He muttered, stumbling in through the doorway, careful of the injured leg. He saw Sam’s bed on the left, neatly made and straight, but when he turned to Tony’s, all he saw was metal. He looked at his options for a second before hesitantly putting the sleeping freshmen on the floor and backing out. Hopefully, he didn’t wake up before someone moved him. On his way out, he ran into Natasha. Literally. 

“Hey!” she whisper-yelled at him, scowling. 

“Sorry,” he whispered back with a shrug. He looked at her for a minute as she rubbed her forehead, which he had smacked into a second ago. He wasn’t used to seeing his friend so upset by something. It was a little unnerving. She held herself tightly, and her eyes never stayed in the same place for longer than a moment. It had taken years of friendship to see that because there was no way anyone else in the group was picking up on anything from her. He must have looked confused because she laughed outright at his face. 

“Hmph,” he huffed, crossing his arms. “What’s going on?”

Unlike her, he didn’t possess the ability to talk just barely above hearing level without moving his mouth. He blamed his hearing loss; she said he was just as bad before Mexico happened. 

“There’s something weird going on with Tony. I just don’t know what yet,” she whispered back, quiet enough that he mas mostly lip reading at this point. 

“You’re worried,” he pointed out. She nodded her head. Her hair, which had been straight but had since started curling again, swinging.

“He’s gonna do something completely stupid. I can just tell,” she whispered back. 

“Thankfully,” he said, swinging an arm around her, “We have given you plenty of practice at stopping stupid things.” 

She punched him. 

“Go sleep,” she whispered. “You get weird when you’re tired.”

“I thought I was always weird,” he said, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, weirder. Goodnight,” she said, hugging him briefly before springing silently down the hallway. 

“Night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I keep being shocked at how wonderful and kind my reviewers are, so thank you to all of you <3


	14. Whoopee! (Cushion)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What…” he asked, trailing off. He had managed to push himself up enough to inspect that had broken his fall, to see at least 40 whoopee cushions on the ground. “Great. This is great.” Two feet appeared by his head, making him lookup. 
> 
> “Tony, what the hell happened? You are supposed to be asleep still,” Steve said, his eyebrows raised in worry. 
> 
> “Yeah, well… I woke up,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! I feel like this took forever to write (And re-write, and re-re-write) Please tell me what you think!

Tony woke up to the distinct sound of metal crunching under someone's feet. With a start he snapped his eyes open to see Sam tiptoeing around their room, holding a candle. 

“Shit,” Sam said, looking at him with wide eyes. He snapped into a sitting position, despite being groggy. He had learned pretty quickly that it was best for people to believe you were fully awake, because when you were tired it was easy to spill secrets. Or that’s what his father said, and it served him well before.

“Why do you have a candle?” he asked, looking up at the flame. He then looked down to see himself under at least seven blankets on the floor. “And why am I in our dorm?” 

“Clint said your bed is covered in metal, and he didn’t know what to do.” Sam supplied, continuing to walk the length of their room. 

“Oka-a-a-y. What are you doing?” he asked again. He had never seen Sam do that before, and it was more than a little unnerving. 

“They said I had to walk quietly, so I didn’t wake you up,” Sam explained, turning around and starting over. 

“You know that doesn't mean that you have to keep walking, right?” he asked, uncomfortable.

“Mhm,” Sam said, continuing. 

“Okay… well, I’m gonna go to my lab so…” he said, standing. 

“It’s only 5 in the morning. Steve says to make sure you sleep exactly 8 hours.” Sam said, his voice monotone. 

“Yeah, I don’t care. Just… tell him that I did, okay?” he said, rubbing his head. He felt like the world moved with each pound, and his ankle hurt so bad he could barely think. 

“Okay. I will make sure they know,” Sam said, still pacing, his candle flickering with his movements. 

“Yeah, okay,” he said, hopping up. He got close to falling over immediately and had to steady himself against his door, panting from the pain. He had no idea how he would be able to get up the stairs, but there was no way that he would allow them to see him at anything but 100%, so he would just have to find a workaround. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t get the opportunity, because as soon as he hopped through the doorway he fell flat on his face, met with the distinct smell of cheap rubber. 

“What…” he asked, trailing off. He had managed to push himself up enough to inspect that had broken his fall, to see at least 40 whoopee cushions on the ground. “Great. This is great.” Two feet appeared by his head, making him lookup. 

“Tony, what the hell happened? You are supposed to be asleep still,” Steve said, his eyebrows raised in worry. 

“Yeah, well… I woke up,” Tony said. “You might wanna make sure Sams okay though. He seems a little… off.” 

“That’s just how Sam is. Did you- is that a tripwire?” Steve asked, his gaze focused on the doorway. Tony looked back, spinning himself into a sitting position, to see what looked like a gift wrapping ribbon tied around the door frame. 

“It would appear to be,” he said, making a move to stand up. The blonde grabbed his hand and pulled him up, lifting him an inch or two off the ground in the process. 

“Thanks,” he muttered. 

“No problem, and- where are you going?” Steve asked, cutting himself off. He was actually starting to be able to see in the dim lighting, and he could tell that the blond was  _ tired _ . Not the kind that one night of sleep might fix, although that too, but just drained. 

“Upstairs to my lab. Why?” he asked. 

Steve rubbed a hand over his face, sighing in annoyance. 

“Tony we need to take you to a hospital, your leg is really messed up,” Steve said. 

Tony made a move to stand on it, to show how  _ ‘completely fine I am Steve look at me’  _ but it ended in him completely falling, making Steve lunge to grab him. 

“I’m fine,” Tony said. “Just a little… wobbly?”

Admittedly, it probably was less convincing coming from the ground, but the message still stood. 

“Tony, you have got to be joking, or… something. This- you’re not normal; you need help.” 

“Nah, I’m fine. But I do think that Sam could use some kind of intervention,” Tony said, catching the flickering of the candlelight on the walls. 

Steve looked inside. 

“Sam’s fine. Look, will you at least go back to sleep? You barely sleep at all, and I know that that’s not healthy.” Steve said, deciding to take a different approach. 

“I couldn’t sleep now if I tried to. Anyway, there’s no point in trying. Sam walks super loud,” he said, which was true. 

But he couldn’t focus on sleeping no matter how quiet Sam was, something his father had taught him. The idea was that if there is someone else around you, there is danger, and if there is danger, you never sleep. 

“Are you kidding? He is almost as quiet as Natasha; it’s freaky,” Steve said, grabbing his arm. 

“Hey! What are you doing?” Tony protested, trying to wiggle away. 

Unfortunately, he was actually still pretty tired, surprisingly, and he couldn’t recall the training for a broken ankle with self-defense that didn’t involve killing the attacker.

“I’m making you sleep- what happened to your bed?” Steve asked, pausing when he saw the bed, or, as Tony liked to call it, his second desk.

“...Homework?” he said hesitantly. 

“Is it  _ your  _ homework?” Steve asked, a slight twitch in his face. 

It wasn’t, but it wasn’t like anyone was making him do it. He genuinely had wanted to. He just really struggled to see people do things… wrong. 

“Sure.”

“Tony!” Steve said, sounding long-suffering. “Where do you even sleep?” 

“I mean, as of 4 hours ago?” he asked. 

Steve nodded, prompting him to point at the pile of blankets on the floor. Steve banged his head on the wall, seeing where he was pointing.

“Um, Steve, you doing okay?” he asked. “Wanna open your eyes?”

“Maybe if I just keep my eyes closed long enough when I open them, everything will be normal,” Steve said, keeping his eyes closed.

“That is highly unlikely,” Tony said, taking this as an opportunity to pry the blond’s hand off of his arm and silently mini-hopping away. He got almost halfway down the hallway before smacking into Natasha.

“Ow. Again, really?” she said, making no effort to keep her voice down in the halls. “Who let you out of bed?” 

“I let myself out of bed,” he said defiantly. “Well, more like the floor, actually, but still.”

“See, this is what happens when I let other people deal with problems,” she said, scowling and tugging at his arm to make him follow her, making him almost faceplant. Again. 

“ _ SAM!”  _ She yelled, making him wince. 

They marched back to his dorm. Or she marched and he hopped until they reached the tripwire/whoopee cushion extravaganza in front of the door. 

“What the hell happened here?” she asked, her face tense. 

She seemed off, and not in a lack of sleep, either. She seemed wound up and was holding herself like she expected an attack. He knew she used to dance, but looking at her now, it seemed more like defense training more than anything else. He would need to look into that. 

“I dunno. I found it like this,” Steve said, looking at the doorway. The candlelight continued to flicker on the wall, reminding Tony of his roommate's strange habit. 

“Who set up a  _ tripwire?  _ He has a broken leg!” she said to no one in particular, looking annoyed. 

They shrugged in unison. 

“I dunno. I was gonna go for a run, but then I heard a thud,” Steve said, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the door. 

“Of course you were. Well, go ahead. I can handle it,” she said, gesturing to Tony, who was trying his hardest to look like he was standing on his injured leg without, you know, standing on it.

“I will be fine Natasha, you can leave.” He said, looking back at the dorm. 

“Really?” She asked, looking skeptical. 

“Of course, I was actually thinking about getting some more sleep so…” he said, trying to keep his gaze level. Sge actually laughed out loud at that. “Hey!” 

“I might have believed you before you said that.” She said, grabbing his arm again and looping it around his shoulders. “But I don’t know if I have ever heard you say you want  _ more  _ sleep.” 

“But is that a risk you are willing to take?” he asked slyly, watching the contemplation flicker across her face. 

“No, which is why I’m making you sleep on the couch.” She said finally, taking a decisive step towards the living room. He will admit, he panicked slightly at that, never in his life had he willingly slept around anyone who was awake, let alone injured. It didn’t matter who it was, it had been ingrained so deeply in him he couldn’t sleep near his own mother. 

“No way!” He said, finally giving in to his instincts and twisting on his heel into her hold on him, surprising her enough that he could yank away.

“Tony, get your ass on the couch, or I'll knock you out and drag you myself.” She said calmly, squinting her eyes at him and straightening her poster. It took him about three seconds to figure out how that fight would go, and he would be on the couch ether way. 

“Fine. But only because you asked so nicely.” He said sarcastically, hopping towards the living room, and allowing her to steer him back a bit. He figured he could at least pretend to sleep until she left for something else. 

  
  


0o0o0o

“Is Tony okay?” Clint asked Natasha upon rounding the corner to the family room. She looked at the teen with a raised eyebrow before looking back at him. “Okay, that’s fair, stupid question. Why is he on the couch?” 

“He woke up at five and had no plans on going back to sleep so I set him up here. He tried to fake for a while but he actually started sleeping for about twenty minutes ago.” She said, looking at the teen on the couch. She was going to need to ask him about that later, it would have taken a lot of willpower and probably some training to fake convincingly for that long without falling asleep. 

“Jeez. Hey, did anyone ever find a place for Loki to sleep?” He asked, seemingly content with his explanations. 

“He said he found an extra bed-” She started, quickly cut off by Clint. 

“ _ HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT!”  _ He screeched, upon opening a cupboard. Inside, Loki was curled into a tight ball, fast asleep. 

“That seems about right.” She said, taking a sip of her coffee, trying desperately to not laugh at Clint's face. She would give anything to have that photograph. “Hey, do you happen to know anything about that tripwire in Tony’s doorway?” she asked. 

“Um… Bucky did it!” He said quickly, before sprinting out of the room. 

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! As per usual, all of your comments make my day, so please review and give me your feedback! Thank you all so much!


	15. doing hard caffeine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Promise you will not forget us while we are apart!” Thor yelled, body slamming the short teen, making them both tumble to the pavement. If this frightened Tony he didn’t show it though, he just laughed and patted Thor a little. 
> 
> “It’s literally one week, I think my memories will last.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope ya'll like it. I feel like I might actually be dying (I have a fever, it's not even that high) so please comment, your thoughts are practically day quill lol <3

“Hello, friends!” Thor greeted energetically. He seemed less affected by the lack of sleep than the rest of them, bouncing back quickly. “Have you seen my brother? I intended to show him around the campus today.” 

“Hey Thor, check the cabinets,” Clint said, sipping his coffee, having sense returned from his speedy exit upon realizing that the caffeine has not moved. If the bouncing blond man was faced by the answer, he didn’t show it, instead, he just opened and closed a few of the cabinets, father loudly Natasha might add, in search of his brother. She glanced at the dozing teen on their sofa. At first, she was worried about the noise, but it didn’t seem to phase him at all. He was either fighting off an infection, or he just slept like the dead normally. She filed that piece of information away for later, opting instead to help her worried friend. 

“Upper left, above the microwave.” She instructed, watching him yanked it open, prompting Loki to crawl out, hissing. 

“Oh boy, he’s been around the marmots too long,” Steve said, padding into the room. 

“Speaking off, you guys aren't going home for Thanksgiving, right?” Clint asked, looking between the brothers. Thor shrugged, whereas Loki just saw cross-legged on the counter sipping his coffee with a twisted face. She couldn't help but smirk at that. He actually hated coffee, he was a lot more of a tea drinker, but he always made an effort when the others were around.

“Donno,” Thor said finally. “Loki, what do you think brother?” Loki opted for a non-verbal response, holding his middle finger up from his swath of a blanket. 

“Hey! Language!” Steve barked, making Loki jackal. 

“Technically he didn’t say anything.” Another voice added from behind her. She spun around to see Tony, who had clearly been awoken by one of their loud noises. He proceeded to make a bee-line for the coffee.

“You guys need to come over to my house then!” Clint said, excitedly, whipping out his phone. “There’s so many of us I don’t think they’ll actually notice, like, at all.” She caught a glimpse of the title of his group chat ‘The Barton/Houston/Skyleron/Brown/Smith/Wilson(Etc.)’ which presumably ended in group chat. 

“Yes! That would be fun! Loki, do you not agree?” Thor asked his balding brother, who just signed reluctantly. 

“Great, there expecting me and eight others,” Clint said, sending his monstrosity of a message, which she was pretty sure maxed the word count.

“Eight?” Steve asked. 

“Mhm, you Sam, Bucky, Thor, Loki, Bruce, Tony, and Natasha,” Clint said, scrolling with a smirk, which he not-so-cleverly hid with his coffee cup. “And if you don’t come then they’ll probably assume you're sick and track you down. It’s happened before.” 

“I can’t come,” Tony said from behind a mug, which she was pretty sure could hold a whole pot of coffee, plus milk. “Gotta go to a stupid… party.” He ended lamely. 

“You could always come after.” Clint offered, a smile set firmly on his face. 

“Wish I could, these things go on forever,” Tony muttered darkly. He was clearly exhausted, despite how deserving his voice could be, and he looked like he was about to fall over. 

“Holy shit why are you walking?” Clint said finally, reminding her of his broken ankle.

“Well, I start by putting one foot in front of the other,” Tony said, a disinterested look on his face while he drained a disproportionate cup of coffee. They kinda looked at him for a second, the silence was broken only by the sound of Loki’s phone camera. 

“The amount of dysfunction in this photo is both hilarious and concerning.” He commented surveying the image before clicking his phone off. 

“Thanks for that Loki,” Tony said dryly before re-filling his cup. She wanted to comment as he poured in milk and sugar, but at least he’d stay hydrated.

“Okay, so Tony can put drugs in his coffee, but when I try  _ once  _ you all pull an intervention!” Bucky said loudly from across the room. “Seems fair.”

“Hey, if the FDA hasn’t banned it yet you can’t pull an intervention.” Tony quipped. He was amusing to watch wake up. He was good at hiding with his voice, but his eyes literally glowed as he drank coffee. 

“That is sugar, right? Please tell me that’s sugar.” Steve said. “If it isn’t there'll be so much paperwork.” 

“Nope. But it also isn’t crack so you’re fine.” Tony said gulping the drink exaggeratedly. 

“Okay, so coffee is going bye-bye now,” Clint said, making a move to grab the put. In response, Tony ducked under his arm, hiding in the living room. 

“Did you know that ‘hard caffeine’ is a thing?” He called. “Really, you can get about 100,000 milligrams for just 10 bucks online.” 

“Tony if your putting raw caffeine in coffee that is grounds for an intervention,” Steve said, sighing. 

“I never admitted to anything!” the teen called over his shoulder before sprinting away. Note to self; Tony with more then zero sleep is terrifying.

“Oh, heads up Bucky, we’re all headed to Clint’s for thanksgiving, sanes Tony, who is gonna probably dominated the world,” Steve said, briefing his best friend on the past events. Bucky fell down dramatically. 

“Shoot me now.”

0o0o0o

“So you’re sure you can’t come? We could still call your dad.” Clint said pouting. They had loaded up in ‘The Mystery Machetion’ for a 12-hour drive ahead of them, which sounded like actual hell. 

“Nah, I think my dad might actually murder me if I missed this. Thanks though.” Tony said resigned, shuffling his feet, drawing Natasha’s attention back to his ankle. She had no idea what crazy science thing he had done, nor did the rest of them, even Bruce, but he seemingly was walking without pain.

“Fine. But you aren't escaping Christmas.” Clint warned, smirking. Tony just nodded in a compliant type way, the way that you do when a toddler tells you that they can read your mind. 

“I’ll try. See you guys later.” He said with a wave. Poor, unsuspecting Tony thought he could say goodbye so easily. 

“Promise you will not forget us while we are apart!” Thor yelled, body slamming the short teen, making them both tumble to the pavement. If this frightened Tony he didn’t show it though, he just laughed and patted Thor a little. 

“It’s literally one week, I think my memories will last.” He said easily. Somewhere a car horn blared multiple times, making Tony freeze. Steve paled, as did Loki. 

“What’s going on?” she whispered, barely registerable, in Steve’s ear, smirking when he shivered uncomfortably from her hot breath. 

“I can’t tell you. But the owner of that car know’s morse code.” She had to hold back a laugh at that, the way he took everything so seriously. 

“That sounds like my dad. I’ll see you guys in a week, kay?” He asked, detaching himself from Thor and beelining for a car out of there sight. Thor pouted, before settling close to Loki in the backseat. 

“We have plenty of other seats brother, you did not have to choose the one  _ directly  _ next to me.” Loki pointed out, attempting a glare. 

“But I wanted this one.” He declared. Their debate was, of course, interrupted by Clint screeching. 

“ _ EW EW EW EW EW Who gave Bucky mealworms!”  _ He yelped, scrambling away from the aforementioned amputee, to hide behind her.

“Don’t worry Clint, my whole 113 pounds will protect you.” She said sarcastically, wincing when he dug the palm of his hand into her leg. “It’s not like you are almost 10 inches taller than me and 50 pounds heavier, I’ll protect you.” 

In Clint’s defense, Bucky (Who had tied his hair out of his face in the most TicToc style ever, no matter what he says) was eating, what had first seemed to be brown rice out of a take out container. She should have known better than to think he would eat something with fiber in it. 

“Well, they're called  _ mealworms _ , aren't they? When else do you eat them, at two PM?” 

“Out,” Steve said pointing to the window. “Throw them out, Buck.” 

“You excited Bruce-y?” Clint asked smugly, drawing their attention to the resident dictionary, who had earbuds in. Over noise-canceling headphones. Covered with his hoodie. In response, he held up a flashcard. 

_ I hate all of you.  _

“Aw, Bruce is showing his affection guys!” Clint retorted. 

“Come on now, let's be kind,” Steve said fruitlessly, adjusting his  _ visor  _ on his head while examining the map. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, making her draw it out. An Instagram notification. Clicking on it, she says a video of Tony, sitting on top of the car that must have shown up earlier, driving at what must be at least 70 MPH. the caption read;  _ hey, if im gonna die, im gonna do it in style  _ _ ̄\\_(ツ)_/¯ _

“Hey, Steve, Tony’s gonna die.” She alerted, leading back to watch in amusement while their friend frantically dialed Tony’s number into his flip phone. 

“ _ TONY GET OFF OF THE ROOF RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME…” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked it, thank you so so so much for reading, please review and give me your thoughts!
> 
> edit: HAHAHAHAHA I'M WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER I ACTUALLY CAN'T WAIT AHHHHHHHH


	16. The dangers of snapchat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Take that. It was less suspicious than pepper spray. I don’t want you using anything else in the bag unless completely necessary, but grab something just in case.” She said, her eyes on the road as they scratched onto the street. He looked inside, pulling the bag on his lap, to see an array of hunting and throwing knives, along with two boxes of bullets. 
> 
> “Holy shit.” He said, seeing one of the blades catch the moonlight. “They just let you buy all of this?”
> 
> “Watch your mouth. And it took some… persuasion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEEEEEEHHHHHH I AM SO EXCITED YOU ALL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S COMING BUT I DOOOO AHHH! I hope you enjoy!!

Loki’s phone buzzed with a notification. He had just gotten out of singing the 40+ verses of ‘Hit The Turkey With A Rock’ and he had zero intention of re-entering Clint’s living room without essential battle armor. They had been there for 5 days already, and Thanksgiving was already over, but that didn’t mean that anyone cared any less about celebration. He opened it, seeing the Snapchat logo, and Tony’s handle. (@tonycoffeestark) He opened to see a photo of him with his head on the table at some kind of fancy event. He looked so completely exhausted, the kind of run out exhausted that would take weeks to recover from. The dark circles under his eyes could have easily passed off as bruises, but aside from that, he looked perfectly put together. with a banner that read  _ ‘This dinner has been going on since Thanksgiving, and we havn't even gotten to the main course. Help’ _

Smirking, he quickly tapped a reply.

_ ‘How do you not know the spelling for haven’t?’  _

His phone buzzed with a reply ‘ _ don’t underestimate my use of spell-check’  _

_ “I think I just overestimated your brainpower,”  _ he replied, about to pocket his phone when it buzzed again. Before opening, he left quickly to record the screen, not closing the app to keep the convo there. He liked to do that to all of his friends; it kept them on their toes. It was a photo of Tony with some kind of amber liquid in a glass.  _ Lol, people keep giving me alcohol,  _ his note read.

_ Do they know how old you are?  _ he snapped back. 

_ I mean, they did at the beginning of the party. Idk now.  _ Tony typed. 

Loki caught Natasha’s eye, nodding at his phone. She got the message, opening the app, and almost exactly a minute later her face tightened. Loki didn’t look at the rest of the videos that Tony sent through, but something about them was really bothering her. A few minutes and several notifications later, her thumbs flew across the keypad of her phone. Their group chat binged almost a moment later. 

_ Gotta go, family issues, ttyl.  _

Most of the others hadn't checked their messages, and Loki saw her make a move to sleep out. He wasn’t particularly interested in her rescue mission thing, but he also didn’t think he would survive another game of white Elefante, so he managed to slink past his brother, who was clearly in his element, to follow her. 

“Loki, I know you’re behind me, and you can’t come.” She said decisively, not even turning around to address him. 

“Come on! I think I might lose my mind if I need to tell one more person how my school has been going! Plus I know Tony’s house inside out.” He stated. 

“Why?” She asked exasperated as she threw her bag, which must have been with her, into the mystery machine. 

“My friend Samantha is actually in love with him, and she begged me to beta read her fanfiction.” He said simply. He couldn’t tell if it was amusement or annoyance on Natasha’s face, but she let out a long-suffering sigh before finally looking back at him. 

“If you come I can’t acknowledge your presence, understand? If we get caught, I had no idea that you tagged along and I would have stopped you had I known.” 

“Of course.” He said, bobbing his head with a smile. 

“And you understand that his dad is messed up, right? I have no idea what I am about to walk into and it could easily be something completely horrible.” She said again, her hand tightening on the steering wheel. 

“I know. It’s not exactly skipped over in Samantha’s writing,” he said earnestly. 

“This is gonna be worse than that, okay? And the only reason you can come at all is because I don’t trust you alone.” 

“I’m flattered.” He said genuinely. She shook her head, making her hair, which had gone back to semi-curly without her normal products, catch the light. 

“Fine then. Sit in the back seat, and we can’t stop for food until we’re out of town, I think that Clint is related to actually everyone here.” She said finally. He grinned, pulling out his phone. 

“Sure.” 

“And you can’t tell Samantha.” She added as an afterthought. 

“Oh come o-on. She’s in Texas, it’s not like she can exactly come up here.” He said. She just raised an eyebrow, making eye contact with his through the mirror. “Fine.”

“Good. Now be quiet, we have a two and a half-hour drive to Manhattan.” She said, sighing. 

“Bruce is gonna kill us for not letting him come, you know that right?” He said, choosing to ignore her previous statement. 

“If Bruce has been obsessed with Tony’s father for as long as he has and still doesn't know who Tony is he deserves to be left behind.”She said. “Besides, he goes to school with him, it’s not exactly a once in a lifetime chance.” 

“Tell that to Samantha.” He muttered. 

“Isn’t she the girl with the raccoon band thing?” Natasha asked, smirking as if she didn’t know.

“Listen, she genuinely thought it was a dog at first. And then they bonded so…” He said trailing off when he realized he would absolutely not be able to justify it at all.

“Sure. So you saw all of the Snaps from Tony right? You know why we’re going?” She said, clearly wanting to redirect the conversation. 

“Nah. I saw the second one and then got distracted.” He admitted, rolling onto his back to stretch out. 

“Sit up, that’s dangerous. Watch the rest of them, kay? I want you to know as much as possible.” 

“Can’t you just tell me? Watching them sounds so  _ hard  _ right now.” He said, not sitting up.

“Find. Basically no one knows his age, he keeps trying to make people cheat on their spouses while drunk, and then he got hauled off somewhere by his dad.” 

“Sounds festive.” He remarked, earning a glare from the redhead. It was going to be a long car ride.

0o0o0o

They had finally gotten food, after what Natasha had deemed a safe amount of distance from the ‘Barton home base’ as it had so lovingly been titled, at some burger drive-thru about an hour away from downtown, when Natasha’s phone started buzzing. She looked at the caller ID to see Tony’s name, which surprised both of them because they knew for a fact that Tony tried to avoid phone calls as much as possible. He said he liked to see people's faces, helped him figure out if they were telling the truth. 

“Hello?” She asked, picking up. 

“Natasha, the law!” Loki hissed from the backseat. She made a slicing motion across her throat, looking at him through the mirror. 

“Okay, what do you mean- alright, we’re turning around. Okay. Bye.” She said, slicking her phone off. 

“What did he say?” Loki asked. 

“It wasn’t him. His dad saw we were snapping him and tracked us down, told me that he was fine and we couldn’t come to help him even if he wasn’t.” She filled in, her hands tightening on the wheel. 

“So what, we’re gonna turn around?” He asked. 

“Hell no, we’re getting weapons.” She said, turning off at a Big 5 nearby. 

“Do you think we’ll need them?” He asked, leaning forward.

“I have no idea, but I don’t want to risk it.” She put the car in park. “Okay, I'll handle the weapons, I want you to get two boxes of protein bars, make sure at least one is allergen-free, and climbing rope.” 

“Climbing rope? Why?” 

“Because I said so Loki. Go.” She said, literally showing him with her hand. 

“Okay, okay, I’m going!” he yelled, dodging the towel she threw at his head. Hypothetically the towel should have been clean, Bruce had made them buy a 6 pack of them after the mac and cheese debacle, but he had actually zero faith in his brother or his friends. He wandered in to the store, watching the doors out of the corner of his eye. Almost exactly two minutes later Natasha walked in, wearing one of the boys hoodies pulled over her hair, causing him to smirk because he could have sworn he had seen Clint wear that hoodie two days ago(He had been trying to get them together since he was 12) and headed straight for the hunting section. It only took him a minute to find everything that had been instructed of him, plus one of those net stress balls and a pen with googly eyes that bulge because it was his money, and paid, walking out to the car. 

It was almost twenty minutes later that Natasha emerged, carrying a large bag and a soda. She seemed strange, and it took him a second to realize that she had changed her poster pretty drastically. He had never actually seen her slouch until now. Wordlessly she swung into the car, starting it immediately.

“Did you find everything?” He asked, looking curiously at the plastic bad. She nodded, reaching in and handing him a bag of bear mace. 

“Take that. It was less suspicious than pepper spray. I don’t want you using anything else in the bag unless completely necessary, but grab something just in case.” She said, her eyes on the road as they scratched onto the street. He looked inside, pulling the bag on his lap, to see an array of hunting and throwing knives, along with two boxes of bullets. 

“Holy shit.” He said, seeing one of the blades catch the moonlight. “They just let you buy all of this?”

“Watch your mouth. And it took some… persuasion.” She said mysteriously. He silently selected a small hunting knife that folded in on itself, slipping it in his hoodie pocket. She reached behind her and took the bag back. It didn’t take a genius to tell that she was uncomfortable with this whole thing. 

“Why are we gonna need these?” He asked, worried. 

“I have been doing some research on Howard Stark, and he makes Tony’s inventions seem like kid stuff.” She said cooly.

“Technically it is kid stuff.” He said helpfully. The reminder did not seem to improve her mood, as she dropped her head onto the steering wheel. 

“Last Halloween two kids tried to break in for fun, they were about 14. One is dead, the other one can’t be removed from life support. When their families tried suing, not only did they not manage to land anything on him, they ended up getting sued for emotional distress, ended up bleeding them dry.” She said, her tone icy. “We should be able to blend in, but I don’t wanna take any chances. You still remember what I taught you about knives when you were 13?” She asked. 

“Duh, I have a lot to practice on.” He said, flipping the knife around.

“Good. We’ll be there in 35 minutes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!!! Please kudos and comment, they cure me! Thank you for reading!!!!!


	17. Tragic Backstory dun Dun DUUUUUUN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mr. Stark,” she said cooly stepping in front of him. 
> 
> He grinned. She shouldn’t have been surprised that he had perfect teeth, but they were off-putting somehow. Or maybe it was how he smiled perfectly without moving his eyes. 
> 
> “Hi dear. I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Howard, although you would already know that, of course, wouldn’t you, sugar? What’s your name?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what, screw cannon.

Natasha and Loki arrives at Tony’s house exactly 35 minutes after their conversation. She had thankfully packed nice clothing for everyone, because with Clients family, there was an 80% chance you will end up at a funeral or a wedding when you stay there, and had stored them in the car. She had given him his suit, which he protested against strongly until she bribed him with gummy bears, and her own black cocktail dress. Unfortunately Loki had apparently burnt his dress shoes, for reasons that she couldn’t begin to fathom, so while she was forced to endure her stiletto heels, he was in converse. In addition, she had pulled on a long brown wig, because people were surprisingly observant of facial features if your hair didn’t match. It felt like it took them forever to arrive at the buildings door, although in reality the time between them leaving the car to change and walking up the steps was much shorter. 

“Do we just knock now?” Loki asked, peering at the door curiously. 

“No, if we arrive so late it might draw unnecessary attention. Just smile and nod. And do  _ not  _ tell anyone your name, understand?” She asked. He nodded, biting his nails. She grabbed his wrist, drawing his attention. “And don’t do that either, it makes you look younger.” 

“Hey, I am 17 whole years old.” Loki said definitely. “If they think that Tony can drink then they won’t give me a second glance.”

“Yeah, well, Tony is a freak of nature and can lie through his teeth about completely absurd things and no one bats an eye. We don’t even believe you when you tell the truth,” she said, holding back a laugh at the comedic shift in his face. 

“Rude,” he pouted.

“True,” she said back, walking in with confidence. 

Her heels clacked on the tile floor and she had to constantly keep her expression netral when she saw the inside of his house. Her first thought was there was so much  _ space.  _ Everything was decorated with precision and laid out perfectly. Nobody was in sight, but she heard loud voices from down a corridor. She shot a glance up the stairs, which were separated with an iron twist guard, before following the sound. It took her a second to realize Loki wasn’t following her, and she had to snap her fingers in his face before he gained enough awareness to follow her. 

“Where do you think he’ll be?” Loki asked, sprinting slightly to catch up to her. 

“Tony? I would guess wherever the voices are coming from.” She said, continuing towards the aforementioned door.

“Okay, great. So we’re just gonna walk in there and… you know… talk to these people until we find him?” Loki asked. For the first time since he had hijacked the van she detected actual nervousness in his voice.

“Would you rather wait in the bushes?” she asked. If she were someone like Clint or Steve, she might have been reassuring, but the best way to get Loki to do something was to challenge him directly. 

“No,” he said definitely.

“Okay then. Let’s go,” she said, turning the handle. 

The room they walked into was giant. People were talking everywhere in small clusters, and there were people walking around with trays of some kind of seafood. There was an actual bar running along the left side, and some tables and chairs at the far end, along with several other doors. Unfortunately, Tony wasn’t anywhere easily spottable.

“Okay, now what do we do?” Loki asked. 

“Go find someone who is looking for a conversation and try to bring up Tony casually if you can. I still need to get a read on what everyone thinks about him here,” she said. “Meet me by the door in half an hour. If it can’t wait that long, call my cell, okay?” 

He nodded, which she took as permission to stride off, being careful to not look over her shoulder compulsively as she left Loki. Zero percent of her felt comfortable with Loki being there, but she figured that after all the shit he had been through with Hela, he could handle himself well enough for half an hour. Although she hadn’t told him that no matter what, after half an hour he was getting kicked outta there, and she would keep looking alone. She just didn’t like the way the risks added up over time. 

She weaved through the crowds of people, seeing a large cluster surrounding a blonde woman in a tight fitted dress whom she recognized as Maria, Tony’s mom, almost instantly, although nothing about her screamed mother. Her dress was so tight she could practically feel how difficult breathing in it would be, and her hair, which was falling around her shoulders, was almost ashy platinum blond. If she didn’t know that the woman was 50, she would never have believed it. Everything about her was artificial and plastic-looking, down to her eyelashes, which were so large and heavy the glue was starting to peel from the eyelid, making her want to squirm with discomfort.

“Hello Maria! I was just looking for you!” She said, lifting her voice to make her sound genuine and slightly drunk, blending perfectly with the other women around her.

“Hone-ey!” Maria drawled, despite having no accent. “How are you! I haven't seen you in forever! I missed you!” She said, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

“Oh! Yes!” she said, forcing her voice to stay light. “I’ve been great! I was actually just looking for you. Can we talk for just a sec?” she asked, fixing her with a stare. 

If Maria noticed anything was off, she didn’t let onto it, instead just bobbed her head enthusiastically. 

“Of course, I’ll catch up to up to y'all latter!” she said to the other woman near her, staring at them. It took Natasha a second to realize that she expected the others to move, not herself. Which, of course, they did.

“What was it, hon?” she asked once they were alone. 

“Well, I was reading an article all about your son Tony and I was just dying to talk to him. Is he here?” Natasha asked, cocking her head as she spoke.

“Oh, well I don’t know. Howard usually handles all of that. I just find it so cumbersome, you know?”

“Tony, you mean?” she asked, clenching her jaw. “I thought he was your child.”

“Oh, he is, I just think it’s difficult to keep up with all of the school and reading and just… bleth.” Maria said, sticking her tough out. 

“Alright. Well do you know where I can find your husband?” she asked, keeping up the sickly sweet voice, mentally winking at her own pitch. 

“Oh, check the bar. I’m sure he’s got two twenty-something girls on his arms, you know?” she asked, laughing and putting a hand on her arm.

“Ha. Of course. Well, have a wonderful night, Maria!” she said, detaching from her grip and making her way to where Tony’s dad supposedly was. 

“Night-night!” she heard the blonde call from behind her. 

She weaved her way through the crowds of people, finding herself nearing a large cluster of very loud people near the bar. She was not the least bit surprised to see that Howerd was at the center of them. As his wife predicted, he was currently flirting with two girls at the same time, at least one of which had to be younger than her, while simultaneously having a conversation about business to four gentlemen. 

“Now, I  _ swear  _ you would not regret this investment. These weapons, they work on a completely different level. Imagine being able to poison an entire town without having the cumbersome task of picking up after. Well this-” 

She watched from the middle of the group as the man spun some kind of deadly weapon with ease. “I’m not telling anyone about this yet, not even HR. You will be the first to know, but you gotta tell me if you’re in.” 

The men around him started murmuring. 

“No, don’t try and make a decision now. I want you to think about it. Just tell me by the end of the night. Until then,  _ drinks for everyone!”  _ he declared loudly, efficiently cutting them off before anyone could voice an opinion. 

Smoothly, he slipped from the group, off to charm someone else. 

“Mr. Stark,” she said cooly stepping in front of him. 

He grinned. She shouldn’t have been surprised that he had perfect teeth, but they were off-putting somehow. Or maybe it was how he smiled perfectly without moving his eyes. 

“Hi dear. I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Howard, although you would already know that, of course, wouldn’t you, sugar? What’s your name?” he asked smoothly. 

He was the perfect businessman, but even if he  _ wasn’t  _ insanely creepy in the way he flirted, something about him seemed… dead. 

“Oh, I’m…” she started, trying to think. 

“Sarah,” she said, figuring it would at least be harder to trace. 

“Sarah. Well Sarah, I would love to keep talking to you, but I have business to attend to. You would, of course, come with me, but it would seem quite dull to you. All just numbers and people, nothing you would like,” he said with a genuine grin. “You are much too sophisticated for that kind of talk.” 

She had no idea what that would even mean, but it somehow made her both want to like him and completely hate him at the same time. Tony was starting to make a lot more sense. 

“Well, Maria sent me over here actually. Told me that you would help me find your son… what was his name…” she asked, snapping her fingers. 

“Ah, Anthony,” Howard said, his face dropping minutely. 

“That’s it. Do you know where I can find him?” she asked, determined to get through the interaction, although she was tempted to just start yelling Tony’s name. It would sure be less awkward. 

“Well, the little brat probably got himself caught up in my lab again. You know how kids get with adults work like that,” he said dismissively. “I’m sure he’ll be up soon.” 

“Uh-huh. Well, I really wanted to talk to him. See, I’m writing a piece on him for the Times and they wanted to know his take on the newest usages for the reverse X-rays…” she said. 

His face lit up. Goal. There was no way that this man would resist free press. 

“Oh, my bad, dear. Here’s a map. The lab has a star by it. And don’t worry about the code pad, I’ll take care of that,” he said smoothly, handing her a piece of paper from his wallet and leaning uncomfortably close to her face. She could smell his breath, a mixture of alcohol and mint that made her want to vomit. 

“Thanks,” she said, fighting to maintain her composure. 

Her father had made her go on a few missions with him. He was a “spy”, but usually, he was the one doing the illegal things. She just had to talk to people, and they were almost never as off-putting as Howard was. There was something in his eyes that she just couldn’t quite place. Hurriedly, she grabbed the map from his hand, spinning on her heel, and actually almost tripping. She had never quite gotten used to heels, although she had gotten really good at looking like she had. 

It wasn’t until she was by the corridor that she and Loki had come through originally that she allowed herself to look at the map in hand. It was small, half the size of a standard size paper, and absurdly complicated. She had to trace the lines four times to figure out the one that leads to the lab (which did not, in fact, have a star on it) and start off towards one of the elevators. She briefly thought about bringing Loki with her, but he seemed to be doing surprisingly well with his part of the conversations, and she didn’t want to jeopardize that. Plus, it would be nice to confirm that Tony was, you know,  _ alive  _ before she pulled Loki along. 

The elevator finally pinged after moving at what felt like a snail's pace when it reached the 17th floor which supposedly had the lab on it. She stepped out wearily. Somehow, despite the other floor being in the same building, it felt like a completely different world here. The air was cold and dry, and it reeked of disinfectant. Everything was tiled, and it resembled a hospital more than a lab. Her heels echoed in the empty space as she walked down the hallway, looking for the door with a keypad. It was 15 doors down, and guarded by a heady keypad, along with a fingerprint and retina scanner. As promised, the door swung open easily without requiring any of that, and she was faced with a completely empty, pitch-black lab. 

Or at least that’s what it appeared to be at first, until she heard a whirring coming somewhere deep in the room, towards her left. 

“Hello?” she called out, no longer attempting to make her voice high or kind anymore. As a second thought, she ripped off the wig as well, not wanting to confuse Tony. 

“Tony? Are you here?” 

“Nat?” she heard him call, his voice sounded strange and groggy, something she was not used to in him. 

“Tony, where are you? Can you see me?” she yelled, stepping closer to where she hoped his voice was coming from. 

“I… no, not really,” he said. 

“Okay, can you walk towards my voice, then?” she called, taking a couple steps. 

He made a noncommittal noise. 

“Not… exactly. Hold on.” 

“What do you mean ‘not exactly’?” she asked. 

She was about to ask him about his leg, assuming he had done something completely stupid, when she heard him talking again, although she was pretty sure it wasn’t aimed at her. A moment later, the lights flicked on, making her shut her eyes for a second. 

“Natasha, you shouldn’t be here,” Tony said, his voice sounding more normal, although after meeting his parents, that wasn’t at all reassuring. “My father might actually kill you.”

“Your dad thinks I'm a brunette journalist,” she said, taking a hand away from her eyes. 

“ _ Why are you tied to a table?”  _ she asked, her voice rising in pitch.

“Um…” Tony started. He was strapped by his ankles and wrists to a medical table, which was vertical, still in the suit he was wearing during the snaps. 

“It’s kinda a long story.” 

“Holy  _ shit,  _ Tony. Does your dad know your down here?” She asked, grabbing the knife she had strapped to her leg to cut the leather straps.

“Ha!” Tony laughed humorlessly. “Um, yes.” 

“Tony, I swear if you tell me he strapped you to a table intending to use whatever-” she gestured to the insane looking “medical” devices on a table next to him. “ _ Those  _ are, I will go up there and slit his throat.”

“Don’t worry, he only used one or two of them. He still wanted me to be able to talk to people up there,” he said calmly, wincing when she sliced through one of the straps, relieving a large bruise on his wrist wrapping all the way around his arm. 

“ _ Dammit, Tony, _ ” she whisper shouted at him. 

“How did you even get in here? This door is locked, like… all the time,” he said, clearly wanting to change the subject. 

She just waved the map in his face before cutting another arm free. 

“Don’t even think about changing the subject now, Tony. What the hell did he do to you?” she asked, slicing through an ankle strap, noticing idly that it was on his supposedly broken ankle, although aside from the matching bruise it seemed completely fine. 

“Nothing too extreme. He wanted to test something with my bone in my leg, did something crazy to my rib with a bunch of metal, and there was something else but I was out for that,” he muttered, falling forward when he cut his last strap. 

She shot a hand out to catch him, holding him up against herself. 

“You were  _ drugged _ ?” 

“Only kinda. I hadn’t eaten, so it didn’t really take all that much.” 

“Okay, corrections, you  _ are  _ drugged. Shit, Tony, why haven’t you eaten?” she asked, adjusting him so his arm was over her shoulder and she could sorta drag him towards the door. 

“Well, he was pissed because I said some shit to a guy, so he decided to change the menu to only serve shellfish. Which I am allergic to,” he stated. 

She felt a little bad milking him for information while he was drugged, but she knew once he was back to normal, or his normal, he would clam up and she needed to know what happened. 

“Of course. Dammit, Tony, okay, look at me real quick.” 

He obediently turned his head. As suspected, his pupils were crazy dilated, but aside from that, she didn’t see anything too obviously wrong with him. As they walked into the hallway she pulled the wig back on again, trying to keep her face turned away from the camera in as non-obvious away as she could, making sure to smile until she knew her head was turned away. Knowing Tony, she was sure that there were other cameras somewhere, but she knew that with Tony’s help it wouldn’t be all that difficult to wipe it after the fact, assuming the footage wasn’t reviewed too fast. 

“How are we going to get out, Nat? We can’t just  _ walk past  _ my dad,” Tony said, stumbling slightly. 

“No one’s near the door. I’ll take you to the car and grab Loki,” she said, shifting his weight so she didn’t trip over his feet. 

“You brought  _ Loki?  _ Natasha, they’ll eat him alive! They live for people like him!” he said, looking at her in alarm. 

She knew that nothing about this was funny, not even in a messed up way, but somehow the way he looked so sincerely worried about Loki, who was years older than him, being in the room he had been in for days for a couple minutes made hysterical laughter rise in her chest. Shaking her head, she pressed the button on the elevator, stepping inside. 

“You managed it fine,” she said simply.

“Yeah, after  _ days  _ of training beforehand until I was  _ 13\. 13, _ Natasha. It was five 24 hour increments, with 15 teachers cycling through, meaning I spent 125 hours before each event preparing. There where roughly 35 to 40 events every year, but I only had to make an appearance at 25 until I turned 14 when I could pass as old enough to be given alcohol, meaning that per year I spent a minimum of 3,125 hours training per year since I could talk, which was at 13 months old, so  _ yes,  _ I think Loki’s gonna be eaten alive,” he said, ending his ramble decisively with a stomp of his foot. 

“There is so much dysfunction we need to address in that, but nothing I say will stick now, so how about I promise that Loki is okay, and I’ll get him super quick, but if you’re worried, you can make this easier and  _ be quiet? _ ” she hissed in his ear. 

He nodded, resigned to the fact that Loki was already upstairs.

They managed to get out easier than they got in after the elevator ride, Natasha simply slipped out the front door, hauling the teen with her. Admittedly, the fact that he went into the front seat along with a box of protein bars so easily should have been her first warning, but after all the craziness that was this night, she was kinda hoping that they would just leave. Of course, there was a reason that Loki didn’t get left alone anymore. 

“So by the time I was 13,” She heard Loki’s voice echo in the room. Whatever band was playing in the corner had transitioned to some kind of slow jazz type… thing and the voices were much easier to pick out. 

It took her a minute to find him though because he wasn’t standing up. Wordlessly, she walked over to the piano, which he had sprawled across while holding several women who were at least his parent's age, if not olde,r were deeply enthralled in his (dramatized) retelling of his past. She didn’t bother explaining anything to him, just pinched his wrist tightly in her hand, shaken for a second that she could no longer wrap her hand all the way around it and yanked just hard enough for him to tumble off the piano. 

“Unfortunately, I need to go. I promise to see all of you later, though,” he started, before she twisted her hand slightly, making him yelp in pain. 

There was a chorus of “bye, sugar”s and “book club on Monday”s behind them as she walked out the door quickly. 

“I leave you alone for 12 minutes,  _ 12 minutes,  _ and I come back to you draped across a piano! What were you thinking? Did you not hear me tell you to not tell them your  _ name?  _ These people are dangerous, Loki. I don’t care how stupid and drunk they might seem,” she said harshly as they walked to the car. 

Thor and Clint could talk to him if he felt bad. That wasn’t her role in the group, and they all knew it. 

“Sorry, I just-” he started, cutting himself off. He did look awfully apologetic, and his face was completely red, making him look younger. She sighed, hugging him quickly, because no matter how much he denied it, Loki loved physical affection- he was Thor’s brother- to reassure him that she didn’t actually hate him. 

“Never pull that shit again. Get in the car.” 

“Okay. Is Tony…” he started, trailing off. 

She sighed deeply. 

“He’ll be okay soon. But he’s never going back to that hell hole, not while I have any say in it at least. I’ve already emailed a friend of a friend for the legal work.” 

“How bad was it?” 

“Bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! And heads up, this is all my interpretation of Tony's papents, I by no means am saying that this is how they are in cannon or anything, it's just who I had them in my head, so I hope you all agree. Thank you for your time, please review!


	18. I’m your mother now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He won’t be easy about it…” Tony said haltingly. 
> 
> “I never planned for him to be.” She said decidedly. Tony sighed in submission. 
> 
> “Fine, but it’s your funeral.Literally.” 
> 
> “Yeah, message received. Go back to sleep now, you look like you might pass out any second.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SWEET COMMENTS!!! Two people in particular have been so fateful and kind in your comments (you know who you are I hope) I am still in shock that people actually enjoy what I write! please enjoy this next chapter, I wrote it in my phone during lord of the rings

Natasha gripped the wheel firmly in her hand as they speed down the highway. Both Loki and Tony had fallen asleep. Tony had made an effort at conversation for the first half an hour, but whatever drugs had been given him must have been strong, because he nodded off after a little bit, and Loki had dropped over almost instantly. She glanced at the two teens through the mirror. The road was empty and it was dry, so it wasn’t like she needed to stay fixated on the road. Sighing, she let her head bounce against the headrest with the movements of the car. Tony had slumped against the door of the car, and his head hit the window with every slight movement. 

Grounding in annoyance, she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, intending to pull him upright. Almost instantly, his eyes snapped open, looking around him wildly. He grabbed her wrist, eyes wide in alarm. Immediately she released his collar, although didn’t try and pull her hand back yet, looking him is his eyes for several seconds before turning her eyes back to the road. Slowly, Tony released her hand, his head turned down as he regulated his breathing, his fingers moving almost as though they were stuck. Finally, she was able to retrieve her hand. Casting a sideways look as a teen, she saw just how off put he was. Whether it was from the way he had woken up or the past days events, she had no idea.

“Tony…” She started. She wasn’t sure where she had intended on going, but she knew that they had to address what had happened, both now and at his house. 

“Sorry.” He said hurriedly, curling in on himself and angling his body away with a sniff. A protective pose she noted idily. After what she had seen with his parents it wasn’t exactly comforting to see him do. 

“You aren't going back there.” She said finally, switching lanes for the turn off. Because she had been slightly… flexible with the laws, it had taken just under two hours to return to the Bartons. 

“You can’t say that Natasha, my parents are still my guardians, they can do whatever they want with me until i’m 18.” He said glumbly, pulling his knees to his chest and staring out the window. 

“You’re right, as long as you parents have guardianship over you, there's not much you can do.” She confirmed. His head shot up at this. 

“What does that mean?” He asked wearily.

“It means that we're gonna hafta find a way to get guardianship over you.”She said firmly.

“No. No way. You can’t possibly be thinking what I think you are thinking.” Tony said, shaking his head. 

“If it makes you feel better I won’t kill anyone.” She said. “But I sure as hell am not letting you go back there. At least no alone.”

“I don't think you understand what exactly is going to happen if he finds out about this.” Tony said, trying a different tactic.

“Which is exacting why he’s never gonna find out.You just need to make enough of an appearance that he won’t be suspicious, but also won’t be able to do anything weird or creepy to you. Also we’ll be there.” She said, watching him out of the corner of her eye. “Just like tonight, but all of us. Or at least a few more.”

“No! Natasha he’ll  _ kill  _ you guys, you don’t understand. And as far as him not noticing that I’m gone, that’s ridiculous! He runs tests and trains me on the company's policies and politics every chance he gets, even while the party is going on.” He said, staring hard at her. “You guys will get hurt.’

“We’ve handled a lot of shit families before Tony, we can handle it.” She said confidently, grinding her teeth. She was fully aware that she might sound unreasonable, but she could live with that.

“Natasha, he’s not  _ normal.  _ He won’t care that you’re young or try to not hurt you. One time a ‘concerned intern’ brought up something he saw my dad trying to do to me in the lab. You wanna know what happened to him?” 

“Not particularly.”

“He got shot. Not by my dad or anything, he just managed to twist the story so much to the press that a fan of his was so worried about the ‘emotional distress’ that was being caused to our family he tried shifting the guy thought it would put him in my dad’s good graces. He was only 17 Nat.” Tony said. 

“So two years older then you are?” She asked. He just shot her a glare, curling back in on himself. “Listen Tony, I don’t have every single detail worked out, but I already have some paperwork going through. And we have Clints family on our side, which is an army unto itself. If we don’t want you going bac we have ways to prevent it.” She said. 

“He won’t be easy about it…” Tony said haltingly. 

“I never planned for him to be.” She said decidedly. Tony sighed in submission. 

“Fine, but it’s your funeral.Literally.” 

“Yeah, message received. Go back to sleep now, you look like you might pass out any second.” She said, pushing his arm slightly. 

“Mhm.” He said, instead of taking out a notebook and turned to a greasy page. She wanted to say something, but she figured that there was no way he would last until they got to Clints, let alone MIT. To her surprise, when they pulled into the. Overcrowded driveway, not only was he still awake, he seemed more alert than ever, crawling into the very back seat upon seeing the others waiting outside. 

Bucky and Bruce were sitting with their heads resting on their hands, looking utterly existed and  _ over  _ everything. Steve looked a vaguely concerned, and Thor and Clint where standing with a group of older woman, smiling and talking. She couldn’t help but feel triumphant that she had managed to miss the ugly sweater portion of the evening. 

The gravel crunched as pulled up next to them, making all of their heads snap up collectively, making her laugh. Scrambling, they grabbed there luggage with Bering enthusiasm. Bucky practically tripped over himself sprinting towers the car, where as Clint was taking as much time as possible, hugging everyone before walked over. She let herself out, intending both to help with luggage, and  _ not drive _ for a while. Because the turnaround time was so fast with the Tony mission it had been almost 5 straight hours of driving. 

Hey guys. Me and Loki went for a drive.” She said, grabbing one of Bruce's book bags. 

“I was so worried! Is your family okay?” Clint asked, his brow furrowed. She had to actually bight back a laugh. It was almost sad how easily they were tricked. 

“What happened with your family?” Steve said, his attention immediately grabbed.

“Nothing.. False alarm. But I was already in the area, so I opted to just pick Tony up on the way back anyway. Oh, and Loki stowed away, unfortunately.” She said, nodding to the dark haired teen sprawled across an entire row of seats. 

“Tony’s here?”” Bucky asked. In response the injured teenager popped his hear around a suitcase in the back, looking almost colorectal, between his large eyes are messy hair. 

“Hi.” He said, making Clint scream. 

Did you hear none of the previous conversation?”Steve, who had been standing next to him, asked, rubbing his ear. 

“Sorry.” He said. “Hi Tony.” Tony nodded in acknowledgement before retreating back to his tiny alcove he had created with suitcases. Clint cocked his head, looking at her. She could see the question in his face, which she pointedly ignored, as they climbed into the back of the van, seated near Tony, although they were separated by the groups luggage. Technical, it was mostly ‘Bruce’s’ because every year they insist on going back to there own homes for the holidays, and every year they end up at Clints one way or the other, so he often just packed two days worth for all of them after the two and a half weeks of Bucky walking around shirtless. He had somehow found pants though, so no one was terribly sympathetic when he woke up covered in marker drawings, some more appropriate than others. 

“Nat, what happened?” He whispered once everyone was settled. They had shifted some of the luggage around to be more comfortable, and where in place with their phones and two many snacks for the trip.

“I told you, family emergency.” She whispered back, making her voice just a tad quieter than necessary. She knew that even his nicer hearing aids where crap, and she felt like messing with him. He just rolled his eyes. 

“Sure, you let Tony and  _ Loki  _ tag along to something related to your father. That makes sense. And I can read lips, what you’re doing won’t work.”

“No idea what your talking about.” She said defiantly, shifting to lean against his arm because the window was  _ cold.  _ After a moment she added “Tell your family that Tony’s gonna be there for christmas.” 

“Won’t his dad have a party or something again?” Clint asked. “I mean I’m happy to tell them, but won’t he get in trouble?” 

“I want him where I can keep an eye on him.”She said firmly. 

“Okay, I'll let them know.” He whispered back. Sighing she leaned further into him, letting herself calm with the movements of the car. If she could just keep Tony alive until christmas he would be under the protection of the Barton Clan (™), which held more power than Howard could ever dream of possessing. “So everything ended up okay?”

“More or less so.” She muttered glumly. She couldn’t see his face, but she didn’t really need to to be able to see the expression he was making. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” He asked after a moment. Smiling, she shook her head. 

“I don’t think so. But I’ll let you know, kay?” 

“Okay.” He said, squirming against the carseat. She was just starting to realize how tired she was, when Steve, who had been passed out on Bucky, shot up. 

“What?” Bruce asked from the driver's seat. 

“ _ We forgot Sam!”  _ He said in alarm. She looked around. At the time her focus had been more on making sure the two teenagers didn’t end up dying or killing someone before they were on the road. Sure enough there was no Sam in sight. 

“Shit.” Bucky muttered

“It’s fine. Aunt Junnie decided she wanted more time with him, so she’s gonna fly him up to campus in two days.” Clint said. “I can’t believe you didn’t here. I told you.” 

“Yeah, okay, at the time I was more worried about the missing Loki, but sure.” Steve said, making Clint laugh. 

“Guys, shut up I can’t see the road.” Bruce said from the driver's seat. 

“How does us talking impair your sight?” Loki asked, at the same time bucky just started screaming. 

“Are you kiddin-  _ HOLY SHIT WAS THAT A HUMAN THAT JUST RAN PAST THE CAR WHAT THE HELL!”  _ He screamed as a blur pressed its face against the car window for a second. 

“Eh, it’s probably just a cousin, ignore him.” Clint said. 

“ _ I think I broke its nose!”  _ Bruce said, staring at the blood left over on the window. Clint phone binged with texts. 

“Ha! I was right, third cousin twice removed. James Lowie.” He said. “There taking him to the ER. He’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure about that?” Bucky asked, spinning around. Clint threw a cup full of pomegranate seeds at his face in response, making everyone sitting ahead of them yell complaints. 

“It’s in my  _ eye!”  _ Lokicomplained loudly. 

“Well, you know what would help with that Loki? If you  _ sat up!”  _ Bucky said, pushing the teen off of him. 

“Well, maybe I don’t  _ wanna  _ sit up, you ever think of that?” Loki asked. They had a blocked view because of the seats, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he had sprawled across the others as much as humanly possible.

“Guy’s you’re gonna make me hit another cousin!” Bruce said.

“Should we get another driver?” Loki asked, eyeing Bruc with concern. 

“I could dri-“ Thor started, only to be cut off by them saying’ no’ in unison. She had a feeling that the 12 and a half hours whern’t planning on passing very quickly. Not that she minded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Please please please tell me your thoughts and ideas for later chapters!! Thank you :) ❤️❤️


	19. The Chicken Robot Makes An Appearance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Steve sent me to check on you. You kinda disappeared on us there for a while,” Bucky said, reaching out to help steady him. 
> 
> Tony waved Bucky off, opting instead to take a sip of water from the glass on the table. 
> 
> “Well I’m fine,” Tony said, taking a deep breath. 
> 
> It was stuffy in the room; he was sure that if he opened a window he would feel better much quicker. Silently, he weaved his way over to an unlocked window, sliding it up. 
> 
> “Mhm, you and your vampire complexion,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!

By the time they got back on campus, Tony was pretty sure his head was about to explode. He could actually see color every time his head pounded, and the noise of the car, plus the odor of all the snacks mixed together made him incredibly thankful for them arriving back. He excused himself quietly, slipping up to his lab, intending to work on some equation until he could sleep. Unfortunately, he ended up retching over the trash can by a desk. 

Which is how Bucky found him, doubled over himself trying to not retch and focusing on suppressing his gagging reflex. He hadn’t actually thrown up since he was seven. A kidnapper had bruised something (his kidneys, he thought, but he was really young) that had made him vomit for weeks. After he accidentally threw up on his father's shoes though, he taught him how to repress the instinct. Not entirely of course, but it was a lot less common. 

“Shit Tony, what happened?” he said, running up to him. “Are you okay? You didn’t tell us you where sick.” 

With an internal sigh, Tony lifted his head up, trying to keep a neutral face. “Oh, I’m fine, just a little car sick,” he fibbed. 

“What can I do to help?” Tony asked Bucky, trying to keep himself upright, despite how nauseous he felt.

“Steve sent me to check on you. You kinda disappeared on us there for a while,” Bucky said, reaching out to help steady him. 

Tony waved Bucky off, opting instead to take a sip of water from the glass on the table. 

“Well I’m fine,” Tony said, taking a deep breath. 

It was stuffy in the room; he was sure that if he opened a window he would feel better much quicker. Silently, he weaved his way over to an unlocked window, sliding it up. 

“Mhm, you and your vampire complexion,” Bucky said, grabbing his shoulder with his metal arm. 

To Tony’s surprise, he had to bite back a yell at his grip. Note to self, examine shoulder injury. 

“That’s just because I never leave the dorms, nothing to worry about,” he said happily, leaning against the wall. 

“Sure,” Bucky said, unconvinced. 

As he leaned against the wall, something strange on his shirt caught Tony’s eye. 

“Are you wearing a ‘deputy’ pin?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not just  _ a  _ deputy pin,  _ Steve’s  _ deputy pin. I wear it when I have been deputized,” he said with a grin. 

Tony leaned his head against the wall, not breaking eye contact with him. 

“Okay, so I’ll tell them you’re sick…”

“Perfectly healthy,” Tony interjected. 

“Sure, I’ll tell them you’re ‘ _ perfectly healthy’  _ and absolutely nothing has been or ever will be wrong with you, ever. Sound better?” Bucky asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“Marginally,” Tony said, resisting the temptation to close his eyes against the light. 

He really just wanted to curl up on the cold cement floor until the sun went way, but for some reason, he didn’t think that would be very convincing for his argument.

“Alright. Heads up, Sam texted us. He said he’s flying in and he needs help with his final tomorrow,” Bucky said, walking towards the door. 

“Uh oh,” 

Any final that required there help from all of them couldn’t be a good thing, especially this far away from the actual grading. 

“Yeah. So just be prepared for that,” Bucky said, swinging out the door. 

Tony nodded agreeably, waiting anxiously for the door to swing shut. He had finally made it a handle-free door that just swung into place because apparently nobody in the entire dorm had any concept of what “close the door” meant. Finally, Bucky's steps could be heard pounding down the stairs, and he allowed himself to slide down the wall. 

He finally allowed himself to let his eyes slide closed. After Nat in the car, there was no way he would risk sleeping in one again with them, no matter how well-intentioned they were, so he had been fending sleep for almost 14 hours straight, after 5 days of no food or sleep, which was pretty hard, even for him. He had been taught how to not appear tired and how to function longer without sleep, but he still needed it. He lowered his head to rest on his knees, slipping easily into unconsciousness. 

0o0o0o

A banging interrupted Natasha’s nap. They had barely gotten back, and she hadn’t really wanted to put up with her boyfriend or his roommates just yet, so she had taken to falling asleep on the couch. She had changed out of her disguise at the first rest stop, so she was now in leggings, some random tee, and a hoodie she snatched when Clint got too warm. She never understood that about him; he could overheat in seconds while she felt perpetually cold. Annoyed, she rolled onto her feet, smoothing down her hair, to see what was going on. It only took her a second to rule out the actual door being the source of the noise, which admittedly she should have known, but she still kinda hoped for. She looked around for the source of the noise, peeking her head in the rooms. Another loud bang sounded, this time from outside. 

Sticking her head out the window facing the dorms parking lot, she dropped her head slightly, and grabbed her phone from the hoodie pocket. She watched as Clint, who looked ridiculously small, picked up his phone, and paused. He tapped a button and started running away from the dorms, leaving his swimming pool of orbeez in the parking lot unattended. Not wanting to deal with it herself, she texted a photo to Steve, trusting him to be able to handle it on his own. Content with the issue being resolved, she flopped back on the couch. 

For about two seconds, until shrieking alerted her to… something. Annoyed, she walked into Bucky and Clint's room. 

_ “What the hell is that? What the hell IS IT HOLY SHIT HELP HELP!”  _ Bucky screeched from the bed. Steve ran in a few seconds after her, looking more groggy than she felt. Clint's family took a lot out of all of them, especially Steve. 

“Bucky, what happened?” Steve asked. 

“ _ I don’t know! It’s under the blanket!”  _ he screeched, pointing to a mass of comforter on the floor. She was about to kick it off when it… moved. 

“Is it an animal?” she asked hesitantly. 

“ _ I have no idea what the hell that thing is get rid of it!”  _ he said, moving to the corner of the bed. 

Steve made an annoying noise and grabbed the blanket off the floor. She had never, in her 19 years, seen something more disturbing than what was underneath that blanket. It was about two feet long… or tall. Its head was disturbingly realistic looking, about the age of a four-year-old, which did not at all blend with the harsh line at its neck. She didn’t know what it was covered in, but it looked like skin. Steve screamed along with Bucky. She personally took pride in ignoring that instinct, no matter how  _ wrong  _ the doll/robot/dead body looked. 

“Tony!” she yelled, walking towards the lab. 

It hadn’t slipped her attention that Tony didn’t seem to sleep the rest of the car ride, at least never when she was awake, and she had intended to let him rest, but this took precedence. She shoved the door hard, surprised to see him curled against a far corner in the workshop, presumably sleeping. Having learned her lesson from last time, she chose to grab her shoe (never assume you can throw anything in his lab) and chucked it at his head. It did the trick, and he jolted awake. 

“Ahh! What?” he asked, seemingly instantly awake. 

“What the hell is in Bucky's room?” she asked. 

“I dunno. Describe it.” 

She launched into a detailed description of whatever it was, torn between relief and dread at the recognition on his face. Although, admittedly, his expression also wasn’t comforting. 

“Damnit. Bucky should know by now not to open the vents,” he said, walking towards the door. 

“Watch your mouth. And why was it in the  _ vents,  _ Tony?” she asked. 

Her first comment earned her a side-eye. Not that it bothered her. She didn’t really expect to stop him, she just needed to know that someone was saying it. 

“Well, the vents have a minuscule amount of Freon in them. The robot’s intention was to monitor it in case the leak got readable on a human scale. Also, other people tend to travel in the vents. I wanted it to keep tabs on the stability.

“But then I lost it,” he muttered.

“Okay, that part makes some sense, but…  _ why? _ Why did you need to make it  _ that,  _ Tony?” she asked. 

He shrugged. 

“I dunno. I was trying to make it realistic, but then that happened,” he said. “It’s like I can think about how it looks, but then when I try and make it in real life it all falls apart.” 

“Oh, Tony,” she said with a laugh. “For all of our sakes, please work with an art major.”

“HA HA. No,” he stated firmly. 

She shrugged her shoulders and grabbed him by the arm, trying to not show alarm at how easily her hand wrapped around it. 

“Well, either way, you need to come save Bucky. It trapped him in his bed,” she said, dragging him down the stairs. 

He followed fairly willingly, stumbling over his own feet.

“That sounds right,” he said, sounding resigned. 

They made their way down the hallway in relative silence, disrupted only by occasional instructions from Tony about new safety features he had installed, such as the fifth stair, and apparently a windowpane. It didn’t take long for them to arrive back at Clint and Bruce’s dorm, which had not, by the way, calmed down. 

“ _ Oh shit why is it so COLD Steve it’s too cold! I think that’s ice!”  _ Bucky shrieked, cradling a hand to his chest that, she assumed, had been reaching out to the chicken robot. 

“Well of course, how else would I keep its skin from spoiling,” Tony said calmly, leaning against the doorframe with a smirk. She had seen his defenses go up instantly a couple of times, such as now, working like a barrier between them and… something. She still didn’t fully understand what he was trying to protect. His age, sure, but she knew there was something aside from his identity theft. 

“You made this? Willingly?” Steve asked in bewilderment. She noted with a smile that he had huddled with Bucky on the bed.

“Yeah, it had a purpose I swear.” He said leisurely, strolling towards it. 

“Be careful, it hisses,” Bucky said. Tony just rolled his eyes and grabbed the robot. 

“I will admit, I regret the chicken skin now.” He said, kicking at it with a mild look of disgust on his face. In response, it unhinged it’s jaw, latching onto Tony’s ankle, causing both Steve and Bucky to scream. Tony showed no reaction, simply prying it off of his skin with disinterest written across his face. 

“Wait- did you say  _ chicken skin?”  _ Steve asked.. 

“Well duh. I was trying to make it look lifelike, so I kinda, yah know…” He made a stitching motion with his hand. “What's it called? It’s like stitching but not on humans.”

“You mean sewing?” She asked. He snapped his fingers, grinning. 

“That’s it. Anyway, he’s nothing to worry about, I’ll just re-Sauder the vents. Clint keeps messing with them.” He said, picking the thing up by its neck and carrying it out. Steve slowly lowered himself off of Clint's bed, although Bucky seemed perfectly content to just stay put. 

“Well, no place like home huh,” she said. “Did you get my text about Clint, by the way, I think that should be addressed by not me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIIIII THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING PLEASE COMMENT !!!<3


	20. Edgy French

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How did you hack it if it was Italian?” She asked, looking at him curiously. “I would guess that google translate wouldn’t work for that.” 
> 
> “Don’t answer that, it’ll just make me sad,” Bruce said, looking up from his book. 
> 
> “I learned Italian before I learned English,” he said with a shrug. “It really wasn’t all that difficult.” 
> 
> “What is Italian?” Thor asked loudly. 
> 
> “Edgy french,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH!! Hope you like it! I go back to school on monday, so updates may be slightly less frequent, but I will do my best. as per all authors, I thrive on comments, so be sure to tell me your thoughts!

The group had re-convened in the living room, Bucky and Steve a little worse for the wear, after the chicken robot neither of them had felt comfortable falling asleep. Sam, who had gone straight from the plane to the living room, along with an opaque plastic bag. They had attempted to squish everyone onto the sofa, but honestly that hadn’t worked before they had added Tony, and Loki was still refusing to go home, which is how Clint and Natasha had ended up squished into one arm chair. Usually they would sit on the floor, but Tony had mentioned that the chicken robot sometimes traveled under the floorboards, and so according to Steve the floor was off limits. The floor. 

“Can I leave yet?” Loki asked from the back of the sofa, where he was perched above Thor's head. 

“Literally nothing has happened yet.” Bucky said, narrowing his eyes at the ceiling.

“Okay. I just like to check, sometimes I zone out so much that I can’t tell if anything actually happened or not.” 

“Thanks, Loki,” Clint said from next to her. 

“Mood,” Bruce said, taking out one earbud. 

“No! No, who taught you that? No Bruce!” Steve said. “That’s going on the list.” 

"You know that but not what a shower looks like?" Clint asked. 

"I can figure it out from context." 

"But not _shower?"_

There was a collective groan as The List (™) was pulled out. The List (™) was essentially a large piece of construction paper that Steve had framed with the words  _ Swear  _ _ No-No Words  _ across the top, after ‘swear’ had been added to the list. The original idea had been so that people would stop arguing about whether or not what they had said counted as swearing, but she was pretty sure she saw Loki reading it, notebook in hand, so she didn’t think it was actually helping anyone. Sam clapped his hands, drawing their attention again. She smiled when she saw his face, he always seemed so much… more normal after time at Clint's. 

“Okay, so I have a final for Abnormal Psych coming up, and I kinda need your help with it.” He said, holding up the bag. She had the vague thought that she should probably warn Tony that sam does this, act completely insane for a few weeks, and then normal for months in a row. Tony, however, did not seem at all confused. Although he was scribbling in a notebook. 

“Wow, you don’t say. It’s not like you texted the entire group chat about it.” Bucky said sarcastically, causing Steve to smack him. 

“Anyway, they want us to have as many people as possible video there daily life, and like, externalizing there thoughts, so I was hoping you guys could do that. Well, I mean, you kinda have to, or she will ‘call up all ‘o your teachers and give ‘em a word’ according to her email.” He said, holding up his phone for proof. 

“No.” Several of them said at different times. Including her. She did not allow anyone to know what she did in her daily life. She had celiac her whole life and they still had no idea, she wasn’t going to jeopardize that for anything. She didn’t even want to imagine what Clint would do once he found out that particular piece of information. She had told a classmate once, back when she lived in Russia, and they had told the teacher. It had ended in her eating in a supply closet to ‘protect her from the gluten follicles in the air’. 

“That sounds like fun!” Loki said grinning. She knew that look. That wasn’t a good look. That look meant he was putting silly putty and gum in Bucky's hair while he slept (he was to scared to do it to her). Thor shoved him off in response. 

“Loki! Get off the floor this instant.” Steve snapped, sounding like a tired soccer mom. Clint put a dollar in the piggy bank. 

“Sorry, how dare I be so presumptuous as to use the floor,” Loki said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Steve just rolled his eyes, grabbing his thin arm and pulling him back onto the sofa, ending up with him sitting in Thor’s lap, with his legs stretched out onto Bucky, who was eyeing the floor with suspicion. 

“Shit, you guys hold still for a second,” Tony said. Obediently, they all froze. It only took a few moments for Clint to tense against her. She followed his gaze, seeing him staring at a pitch-black window, with the baby head of the chicken robot there, it’s eyes in slightly different directions. To Clint's credit, he didn’t scream. Against Buckys, he did. 

“Okay, quiet down,” Tony said dismissively, opening the window to grab it. 

“No…… Touching.” It shrieked, before dropping down. 

“Well, I didn’t know it talked…” Tony said. “That’s interesting.”

“No, that’s a warning sign, Tony. You shouldn’t be  _ surprised  _ by that.” Bucky said. “I’ve read enough horror books by now.”

“Oh shush, I probably just blacked out for a second when I made the voice chip,” Tony said, closing the window.

“ Nope, nope, nope, not going there. Absolutely not.” Bucky said. “Blacking out is never a good thing. Not with these.” He said. 

“Oh chill out,” Tony said, rolling his eyes. “It’ll turn out fine.” 

“Okay… so anyway.” Sam said. “I have a bunch of these cameras.” He said, pulling a little camera out of the bag. “And they have a charge for exactly 24 hours. Once you turn them on you can’t turn them off, okay?” He said, tossing the bag to the sofa. Steve looked inside the bag, pulling several mini cameras.

“What if we don’t want to do this?” Bruce asked, removing his earbuds. 

“Um, apparently my teachers will reach havoc on your life.” He said, shrugging, shrugging like it was out of his control. 

“Okay, and if we do?” Bruce asked again, looking at him suspiciously. 

“Well, I edit the video, and then I analyze it with my graphic organizer.” He said, holding it up. “Then, I play the edited video for the class, and pause at the parts that helped me reach whatever conclusion I have.” 

“I mean… maybe…” Steve started, “It just kinda feels like an evasion of personal space.” 

“If it makes you feel better-” Tony said.

“It won't.” Bruce interrupted. 

“You’re all being recorded all the time and you have no idea, so at least this is consensual.” Tony finished, not looking up from his notebook. 

“What?” Steve asked, his head snapping to Tony. “Are you recording us?”

“I mean,  _ I’m  _ not technically the one doing the recording, I just hacked the footage.” They all looked at him with varying levels of concern. 

“Then who  _ is  _ recording us?” Steve asked finally. Natasha was not at all sure that she actually wanted the answer to that one. 

“I dunno, the programming was in Italian though, so either the Italian government, which is unlikely, a different government who is trying to impersonate the Italian government, much more likely, but probably just my father being a pain in the butt.” 

“How did you hack it if it was Italian?” She asked, looking at him curiously. “I would guess that google translate wouldn’t work for that.” 

“Don’t answer that, it’ll just make me sad,” Bruce said, looking up from his book. 

“I learned Italian before I learned English,” he said with a shrug. “It really wasn’t all that difficult.” 

“What is Italian?” Thor asked loudly. 

“Edgy french,” Loki said nonchalantly from next to him. 

“What?” Bucky asked. 

“Well I wanted to learn a language to write in, but french was way too basic, so I learned edgy french.?” Loki explained, rolling his eyes. “Thor still hasn’t figured out that it’s just a nickname for Italian.” 

“Wait, so English isn’t your first language?” Clint asked Tony. “You use it so much.”

“Nah. I had to learn it when I started doing news interviews, my father realized that they would need subtitles for me, so he made me learn it so I could do a news thing after a… thing.” 

“Suddenly the language barrier makes sense.” Bucky quipped, causing Steve to smack his arm with a cloth towel because apparently they were those kinds of people now. 

“So, can you guys do the recording thing?” Sam asked hopefully. 

“It sounds like fun!” Thor said enthusiastically. “Count me in!” 

Sam smiled, tossing his camera, and looked hopefully to the rest of them. Sighing, Steve nodded his head. “Fine. Everyone is doing them, okay guys.” 

There where varying sounds of agreement, or more fittingly, disagreement, but they all ended up with a camera anyway, and Sam honestly seemed so happy that Natasha didn’t have it in her to protest too loudly. She could leave that to Bucky. 

“This sounds like so much  _ work  _ though!” He exclaimed loudly. 

“How the hell did you end up at this school?” Bruce asked in annoyance, rolling his eyes at the eyebrow wiggle that the brunette always did when they asked him about academics. “Never mind, I don’t want to know.” 

“Great!” Sam said happily. It was always an adjustment getting used to normal Sam after he had been weird for a few weeks, but they were mostly used to it by now. Mostly. “You guys can turn them on whenever, but remember, they don’t turn back off, and I need the footage by next Wednesday at the latest.” They all nodded their sullen agreements and excused Sam to go sleep because he had spent more time than the rest of them with Clint's family, which even the strongest of them couldn’t walk off.

“So are we gonna talk about the Italian thing or what?” Bucky asked. Tony shook his head. “Okay, or maybe your father secretly recording us. And you hacking into that footage?”

“Nope.” 

“Or that Loki learned another language so he could write in his journal in ‘edgy french’?” 

Loki shook his head. Bucky threw his hands up in the air in exasperation, slapping Steve accidentally. 

“How about the fact that Sam went to Clints acting like a six-year-old girl in a horror movie and now he’s completely normal?” 

“What are you talking about?” Sam asked from the doorway, his head cocked. Tony scribbled something in his notebook. 

“Never mind, Bucky probably just needs more sleep, right Buck?” Steve asked, doing the arm pinch thing that parents do. 

“The robot covered in  _ chicken skin?”  _ He asked, waving his arms around. “Anybody?” 

"So you speak Italian?" Steve asked, clearly trying to change the subject."

"anche se non lo facessi, mentirei ora. Non importa quello che dico, suonerà alla grande. mais gelato. segno distintivo. mozziconi." Tony answered smoothly. she didn't speak Italian, but she was fluent in Loki, so she could insinuate the meaning. Also,he fell off his stool.

"Tony!" Steve yelled. 

"Hey, I didn't say any 'no-no words'." He defended. 

"Just because it's in a different language doesn't mean it doesn't still count as cursing," Steve said, taking out an Italian dictionary.

Yeah, her friend group was well and truly losing its single collective brain cell, but it was pretty entertaining to watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:   
> even if I didn't, I'd be lying now. No matter what I say, it will sound awesome. icecream corn. distinctive sign. butts.


	21. WHO WOULD DO THAT TO MILK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> crack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha I can't write people watching videos help me. This was so much funnier in my head. I would like to formally apologize for everything. in 20 years when I finish this fic I will probably re-write this.

Bruce plugged his earbuds into his phone with a sigh. They had been asked to film about a week ago, and apparently they had found all the footage because Sam had finished the final edit, and it was ready to show them. They were gathered in the living room, looking at some TV that they had picked up off the side of the road. It had actually stopped working two weeks after they got it, but Tony had practicly vibrated with excitement at the prospect of fixing it, so it had been gutted and upgraded. Much to Steve’s dismay, as he tried desperately to hook it up to Sam’s computer. 

“Can I  _ please  _ help you?” Tony asked from the seat next to him. 

“I’ve got it-  _ dammit-  _ “ 

Loki gave a mock dramatic gasp. 

“Don’t repeat that.” Steve said, gabbing the remote in Loki’s direction. “Just forget I said it.” 

“That’ll be a little hard, considering I got it on video.” Loki said, laughing. “Holy shit, I got  _ Steve Rogers  _ cursing on video!” 

“Language,” Thor and Steve said at the same time. 

Loki continued cackling, falling onto the floor. Tony took the opportunity to snatch the laptop from the floor, tapping on it for a couple seconds before the screen lit up, showing the desktop display. 

“Put it down, Tony,” Steve said, not turning around, not needing to see what he was doing to know. 

“Sorry,” he said, sounding annoyed. 

He looked way to satisfied with himself to be able to be convincing.

“Okay, I saved the file somewhere,” Sam said, taking the laptop back.

“I sure hope you did,” Bucky said. “I put a lot of work into mine. I’d-” he started laughing, cracking himself up with something, “I’d hate for you to not get to see it.” 

“I don’t like that,” Steve said, looking at him in concern over his shoulder. 

They had finally given up in them all using the sofa at once, meaning that half of them were on the sofa and the other half were directly in front of them, meaning that Bucky was trying to find the most buttery pieces of popcorn to put in Steve’s hair, Clint was doing some kind of braids in Natasha's hair, which one of his countless sisters had taught him, Thor was trying to keep Loki focused, and Bruce was assigned to keeping Tony from destroying anything to badly.

“ _ Got it!” _ Sam said happily, opening the video. 

_ Bruce held the camera in his hand shakily, from a low angle, capturing probably the worst place on his face. “So, they’re making me do this thing, and I’m doing it so I don’t fail. Look. I’m getting water now. Look, the glass is dirty. Look, it’s full of dirt. Oh look at that, there’s four worms in it.”  _

Bruce’s video continued like this for a while, boring them out of there mind for several minutes, until Bruce made his food. 

_ “Ugh, I’ve gotta set this down for a second.”Bruce set the camera down in the fridge, grabbing sliced turkey, and the fridge door swung shut.  _

“Shit, that’s where it went!” Bruce said. 

“Language,” Steve said. “We have children present.” He gestured to Loki. 

“Sorry. I lost my camera, looked everywhere for it.” Bruce said. He couldn’t believe he had left it in the fridge of all places. 

_ The screen went black, showing a clock The time sped forward a couple of hours, showing the fridge at 10:30. Bucky swung the fridge open, reaching for the milk and taking a direct drink from it.  _

“Bucky! What is wrong with you?” Steve screamed, followed by simpler sentiment from others.

_ The scream Bucky seemed to have heard them, because as Bucky went to put the carton back, he made direct eye contact with them.  _

Real Bucky laughed, clearly remembering what came next. 

“Heathen.” Bruce muttered. 

_ Bucky re-opened the carton, taking another sip, before spitting it back into the carton and closing it tightly.  _

“Ew! Bucky we drink from that!” Steve said angrily, prompting Bucky to kick him in the shoulder. 

_ 11:52 Steve grabbed food for a sandwich.  _

_ 12:00 Bruce got leftover pasta.  _

_ 12:34 Clint ate the rest of Bruce's pasta.  _

“Finally, people are normal,” Natasha muttered.

_ 1:27, Tony opened the door, holding something red and gelatinous in a jar.  _

“Tony… what is that?” Natasha asked him, using a warning voice. 

“Who knows?” he said shrugging.

“You do.” 

By the end of his video, they had found out that both Bucky and Clint drink straight out of the milk, Natasha didn’t eat anything (she swore she did, just not there) Tony didn’t eat food, but he did store vareuse concerning things in the back of the fridge, including a finger at one point. Steve ate like a rabbit and both sam and he tended to eat exactly at the same time. 

“We are having a discussion after these videos,” Steve said, scowling. He had never quite gotten over the milk. 

Sam and Steve’s video’s where pretty unremarkable, aside from the hour of the chicken robot standing over Sam while he slept. Towards the morning, it turned it’s head to the camera until the camera drained, which unnerved all of them. Then came Buckys.

_ “So, Sam told me that he has to show this video to the whole class, and use it to ‘assess me’ so I thought I would make this more entertaining.”  _ The digital Bucky said. 

“Bucky what did you do?” Steve said, glaring from the floor in disapproval. Bucky just crackles in response.

_ “So this,” Bucky said, holding up a poster, “are the ‘no-no words’. And I’m going to read them to you, and so without further ado.”  _ The video cut to a fade, showing only a few previews of the words, including ‘butthole’’‘juicy’ ‘swear’ and, of course; ‘pomegranate’. After which, Bucky spent almost a whole hour re-creating the trashy dances from one of his apps, according to the time-lapse clock, before it went back to normal speed.

_ “I can explain,” Bucky said, sprawled on the floor while in the middle of recreating another dance. Tony, who had been fortunate enough to open the door, just rolled his eyes and turned around.  _

“Tony didn’t deserve that,” Clint muttered. 

“Have you seen the  _ chicken robot? _ I don’t think I could do anything worse than that.” Bucky exclaimed. 

“You have zero places to make judgments here Bucky,” Steve said.

The videos continued, with nothing particularly remarkable, until they got to Loki’s. Admittedly, that one had started fairly normal, showing him bantering with Thor and playing pranks until he started writing. 

_ “Thor! It’s happening…….. I’m succumbing…. To… THE WORM!” Loki yelled throwing himself down across Thor's lap. Thor looked down with mild interest as Loki wiggled like a snake, falling off the bed. The video cut to a close up of dirt, with a vague crunching noise in the background. _

“This went on for the rest of the video.” Sam informed “23 hours and 42 minutes of dirt.” They kept watching for a minute, just to see before it faded out again. He skipping ahead to the next video, which just showed Tony doing various things in his lab. It continued for a couple of minutes before the next video started. 

“Wait, where’s the rest of Tony’s?” Natasha asked. 

“That’s it,” Sam said. 

“That's it? It is supposed to be 24 hours of footage.” She argued. 

“It was, look at the time stamp.” Bruce pointed out. 

“But he didn’t… leave.” Steve said. “Why didn’t he leave? Tony, why didn’t you leave?” Steve asked, turning to Tony, who just shrugged.

“I forget the camera was recording.” 

“But you didn’t  _ leave  _ is the thing,” Steve said again. Tony nodded. 

Clint's video was mostly just the other people filming their videos, which was surprisingly hilarious, and consisted mostly of people in questionable positions and doing strange things, mainly Bucky practicing for the video, although it included some other gems, such as Natasha smashing her camera with Steves motorcycle, Sam put a bag of M&Ms in the oven (Because no one would ever look there) and the Chicken Robot… purring. 

“Everything about these videos makes me uncomfortable,” Steve said. 

“So you… turned these into your class?” Bruce asked. 

“Yep. I got an A by the way. My teacher is really fascinated by you, Tony.” Sam said. Tony smirked. 

“That shouldn’t make you happy,” Steve said, only encouraging Tony. Sam went to hit the next button when interrupted by a siren noise. 

“Bucky they found you.” Clint quipped. 

“Hey, if I get arrested then so are you.”

“It’s just my phone,” Loki said, pointedly declining the call. Thor furrowed his eyebrows at that, tilting his head slightly. 

“Who was calling you?” Thor asked, peering at the phone, which Loki had sense turned off, poorly masking his attempt at hiding the display. 

“Nobody,” Loki said, shifting uncomfortably. Thor looked skeptical, but before he could say anything Bucky snatched the phone out of Loki’s hand. “Hey!” 

“Why was your mom calling you, isn’t it like… super late in texas?” Bucky asked, scrolling through his missed calls. 

“How do you know the passcode to my phone?” Loki asked, twisting to try and retrieve the device, which was pretty fruitless. 

“Your passcode for everything has been 1776 since you were 13.” Bucky quipped back.

“Well don’t tell Tony! He was the only one who hasn’t read my texts out of all of you.” Loki said, still grabbing at his phone. Tony just raised his eyebrows. 

“Do you have something you would like to share with the group Tony?” Natasha asked. 

“Want to? No.” He said, turning back to his phone. 

“Shit, Loki why has your mom called you 14 times this last week? That's like, four times a day.” Bucky said. 

“Hearing you say that physically hurt,” Steve said. 

“How the hell are you even in this school?” Bruce asked him. He still wasn’t convinced that hypnosis wasn’t involved in his application process.

“Magic. Loki, she’s calling you again!” Bucky said as the phone started buzzing. 

“Don’t answer-” Loki started, reaching for the phone as Bucky hit the accept button. “Dammit.” 

“Language,” Steve said absently. 

Bucky put it on speaker mode, although it wasn’t really necessary because his mom was being loud enough that they could hear it before. Bruce snapped his book closed almost instantly when he heard the sound of glass breaking. 

“Hello ma’am this is-” A scream crackled through the phone. “Bucky, Thor’s friend, are you alright?” He asked. Bucky had gone instantly serious, as had everyone else. Save Thor, who seemed completely unfazed by the audio. Loki just looked embarrassed, his head buried in his hands. 

“Loki needs to come home.” She yelled before the audio fizzed out, leaving them with the mechanical beep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IIIIIIIIf you're in school and it's hard clap your hands 
> 
> (clap clap)
> 
> If your in school and it's hard clap your hands 
> 
> (clap clap) 
> 
> If you're in school and it's hard and your writing time is gone and your sad because no one does there homework and then your grade gets dropped clap your hands 
> 
> (clap clap) 
> 
> idk what that was I'm just so tired. sequel to Cracked Ribs and Broken Hearts coming soon.


	22. Goodbye Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t want you to leave,” Thor said, pouting. 
> 
> “I’m sure,” Loki said dryly, as Thor wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug. 
> 
> “I love you, but I do still need to breath,” Loki said, squirming slightly in the hug. After a few moments longer then Loki would have liked, and a few shorter than Thor would have wanted, Loki was released. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy :)

“Brother, you can’t possibly be thinking about going back home! It will be dangerous without me there!” Thor said, grabbing at Loki's arm. Loki twisted away easily, grabbing his backpack from behind Thor, full of the clothing they had found for him. 

“I’ll be fine, Mom and Dad have taken back the house from Hela, so she won’t be an issue,” he said, keeping his head down. “And they got me more clothing so that won’t be an issue. In fact, I should probably leave some here, just in case.”

“If you go back then I can’t  _ help  _ you, Loki. What if something else happens? You were almost hypothermic when I got to you last. What if it had taken me longer?” 

“Well, then someone else would have found me and taken me to the hospital,” Loki said, finally having gathered his items from where he had spread them across the floor. 

The highschooler turned to face his brother. “I’ll be okay, I have my phone and everything.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” Thor said, pouting. 

“I’m sure,” Loki said dryly, as Thor wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug. 

“I love you, but I do still need to breath,” Loki said, squirming slightly in the hug. After a few moments longer then Loki would have liked, and a few shorter than Thor would have wanted, Loki was released. 

“I’ll miss you, brother,” Thor said finally. 

“Yes yes, and I you,” Loki said, shaking himself out after the prolonged hug. 

He had said goodbye to everyone else - he was pretty sure he had bruises from Bucky's hug - and finished packing in the space of an hour. Truthfully, none of them had wanted him to go because they had seen his home one too many times to feel comfortable with him leaving, but he still had no idea what the call was about, and he didn’t want to find out what would happen if he was “disobeying” by not returning. Although, mostly, he had obligations at his school, and the girl in charge of the drama program scared him. No one should able to give a concussion that quickly with a hydro flask and get away with it. 

Thor sighed, grabbing Loki’s arm to steer him out the door as if Thor hadn’t been the one preventing him from leaving. “You will call me at least once a week, alright, Loki? I need to make sure nothing happens, so I know if I need to come to get you.” 

Loki rolled his eyes, but nodded, all the same, knowing it was probably a good rule, if not one that Thor would forget within a day. They were both pretty forgetful, but it would make Thor feel better at the moment if nothing else. Thor looked like he wanted to say more, but his Uber texted him, actually texted him about seven times, that he was waiting. 

“Okay, I’ve gotta go,” he said, admittedly dragging his feet a bit.

“Goodbye, Loki,” Thor said sadly. 

Loki grabbed his bags from the floor, ducking out before he started to have  _ feelings  _ or see more people with  _ feelings  _ about him leaving. Even Tony seemed sad to see him go, although he was refreshingly quiet about his emotions, and had given him a deadly pen. He had no idea how it worked, but Tony swore he would figure it out if he really needed to, which did not reassure Loki at all. 

“Goodbye, Thor.” 

0o0o0o0o

“Thor, I know you are sad that Loki left, but I don’t think this is the best way to cope with it,” Steve said, worry lacing his voice.

“It’s not that I miss him, Steve. I don’t think he’s safe.” Thor said, biting his lip.

“Hush, guys, I can’t concentrate,” Tony said, tapping on the keyboard. 

“Good! It’s illegal!” Steve said, glaring at Tony's laptop as if it had personally attacked him. 

“Well, I don’t  _ care,”  _ Thor said, smacking the table slightly, making everyone aside from Tony flinch slightly at the volume. They weren't scared of Thor, not even a little. It's just that he was very  _ big  _ sometimes. 

“Got it,” Tony said, turning the computer to face them. On-screen showed the living room that they had seen the last time they checked in on Loki and taken him from the marmots. Thankfully, it seemed to have been reclaimed from the mammals and was surprisingly pristine. 

“Tony,” Steve said in exasperation. 

“Listen, I only hacked a few pre-existing cameras, and it will interrupt the footage flow to whoever the hell is watching Thor's family, so, if anything, this is giving them  _ more  _ privacy,” Tony defended. “Loki probably won’t be back for another couple hours still, but when he is you’ll see him here.” 

“Thank you, Tony,” Thor said. 

“I hate that you can just  _ do  _ that. Like, in a few minutes,” Bucky said from his seat on the counter. “You could know what we’re doing whenever we do it.” 

“To be fair, the Chicken Robot also tells me that,” Tony said, rolling his eyes. 

Bucky froze. 

“What?” he asked his voice slightly above his normal range. 

“Yeah, see its eyes, and how they’re kinda red in the middle, and super round?” Tony asked. 

“Yes, I believe I have filed many a complaint about them before,” Bucky said, eyeing the robot in the corner. 

“Yeah, those are cameras. I don’t look at the footage unless I have to, which I haven't yet, but I keep it recording as a precaution.” 

“ _ Why? Why would you do something like that?”  _ Bucky asked, horrified.

“It’s actually super useful in court. At least if the machine is safe. If I ever make something without a camera is when you should be worried,” Tony said. “If there isn’t any evidence, did it ever really happen?” 

Bucky and Steve stared at him for a long time. “ _ Yes!”  _

“Let me rephrase. If there isn’t any evidence, and you can’t be proven guilty in a court of law…” 

“I don’t like you when you’re like this,” Bucky said. 

“So… ever?”

“Mhm.

“Well  _ go to hell Natasha! _ I never want to see your damn face again you bitch!” a loud voice boomed from downstairs, making them flinch. 

“Who’s that?” Bucky asked, whipping his head around to the sound. It wasn’t anyone he knew that was for sure, he couldn’t imagine any of  _ his  _ friends sounding so angry.

“It sounds like Ricky,” Tony said, standing abruptly, knocking the chair over. 

“Whozatt?” Thor asked.

“Her boyfriend, the one with the teeth and cool tongue,” Bucky said, looking up. 

“You can’t call self-split tongues cool Bucky,” Tony said with an eye roll.

“If you can make the chicken robot I can call split tongues whatever I want to call them.” Bucky shot back. Tony was about to reply, when Natasha stormed in, looking dangerous and angry. On cue, Thor Bucky and Steve scampered away, off to hide in one of there dorms until the storm of Natasha had passed. 

“Wheres Tony?” Steve whispered to Thor, once they had all safely locked themselves in Thor and bruce's room.

“Shit, is he still there?” Bucky whispered.

“I dunno, he didn’t follow us, maybe he ran somewhere else,” Thor said.

“But he hasn’t seen Nat after a fight with her boyfriends before, he doesn't know the dangers as we do,” Bucky said, eyeing the door.

“And with Loki leaving on top of that…” Steve said. 

“We should go back and get him,” Thor whispered, picking his way across the floor to the door. 

“Thor! Are you insane! Tony can fend for himself out there, we can’t risk it.” Bucky said, louder this time. 

“But he’s just so short,” Thor said, showing Tony's height with his hand. “I’ll be right back.” 

Thor closed the door loudly behind him before either of them could do anything. “We’re gonna have to go get him, aren't we?” Steve asked Bucky, who nodded. 

“Cover me,” Bucky said, grabbing a knife from his hoodie pocket. Obediently, Steve picked up a Nerf gun, ready to defend. 

“Just so you know, when we’re not fighting for our lives we’re gonna have a talk about you keeping a knife in your hoodie,” Steve whispered, causing bucky to respond colorfully. On the count of three, they swung the door open and ran in, resulting in Bucky's faceplanting into something. 

“Ow! Shi-” Bucky started, stopping abruptly when he saw that he hadn’t run into something, rather someone. Thor was frozen just outside of the doorway. Confused, Steve followed his line of sight. On the couch, Tony was sitting where he had been when they left, except he had been joined by Natasha, who was curled in a ball on the other corner, but aggressively, and holding a knife in her hand. 

They made frantic motions for Tony to follow them, but he just shook his head. Now they were thoroughly confused, Natasha was more dangerous after a fight with her boyfriend then any of them was when they were intentionally trying to harm someone. Bucky had already started backing out, clearly worried about his own safety more than Tonys, and Steve was following suit, but Thor seemed insistent that Tony needed to follow them, still motioning for Tony to follow them. 

“Thor, he’s gone, we need to move!” Bucky whispered, yanking hard on Thor's shirt, causing him to stumble back a little before relenting and following them to a father's dorm room. 

0o0o

“Okay, they're gone,” Tony said, handing Natasha another mini chocolate bar.

“Thanks.” She said, taking it gladly. 

“Why is it that you still let them be afraid of you?” Tony asked, cocking his head to the side. 

“Well if they're not afraid of we then we need to  _ talk  _ about what happened,” she said. 

“Fair.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sick again I think I'm dying. send cookies (and comments <3) 
> 
> Also, don't worry I swear Loki comes back in later.


	23. I. Hate. Tests.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky was dying. He was dying. There was no hope for him. All semblance of hope was gone. He had no will to live. This was the end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAH I'm delirious enjoy :)

Bucky was dying. He was dying. There was no hope for him. All semblance of hope was gone. He had no will to live. This was the end. 

“Bucky, if you had studied ahead of time, you wouldn’t have this issue,” Bruce chided from the couch.

“This doesn't make any sense! This is just complete gibberish!” Bucky yelled, throwing his textbook across to Thor's side of the room, where Thor was playing with silly putty. 

“Don’t you have to study, Thor?” Bruce asked from where he was sitting with his computer. 

“No. I already flipped through my textbook.” Thor said, bouncing the sticky substance against his wall. 

“Alright, it’s your GPA at stake,” Bruce said, leaning over to help Bucky again. “Why the hell did you go into computer science? It's all  _ math.”  _

“I like math,” Bucky said, rolling over. “I just don’t like it when other people want me to do it.” 

“You… like math?” Bruce asked, dumbfounded. 

“Yeah. Why?” 

“So why did I do your  _ math homework  _ for  _ 6 years,  _ Bucky?” Bruce asked, flabbergasted. 

“I told you, I’m only good at math when I’m doing it for  _ me, _ ” Bucky explained. 

Bruce just stared at him for a while.

“Out. Get out of my dorm. Go study with Steve or something,” Bruce said finally. 

That actually seemed like a fair answer to Bucky, but he still wasn’t happy about it. This must be what it felt like to be Tony. He didn’t like it. 

Following Bruce’s suggestion, he made his way towards Steve’s dorm room slowly. He had a bad feeling as soon as he started walking towards the room and heard Disney music playing. Steve only played that when he was really stressed.

“He-ey Steve,” he said cautiously, peeking around the doorway. Steve was rushing around his room, looking for a paper of some sort. “Whatcha do-ing?” 

“Not now, Bucky. I’ve gotta help Clint find his history assignment, and then Nat made me promise that I would make sure Tony ate something this week, and I don’t have the time to do that because I need to get Thor to study for his final even though he thinks he has a photographic memory, and-” Steve rummaged through the papers. “ _ Dammit!  _ Where is that paper?” 

“Okay. How ‘bout this,” Bucky said, putting a placiating hand on Steve's arm. “You just focus on your own homework and  _ I  _ can help with the other stuff.” 

“Bucky, I know you haven't studied all quarter. You need to study more than any of us,” Steve said. 

“Well, I can dump it on someone else then; I’m good at avoiding responsibilities,” he assured. 

Steve just snorted at that. 

“Fine,” Steve said, sitting down. “Did you come here because you got kicked out of Bruce's room?” 

“Ma-a-aye,” he said hesitantly. 

Steve just sighed, handing him a paper.

“Take that to Clint and get  _ someone else  _ to check on Tony, got it?” 

“Give this paper to Clint and check on Tony, on it,” he joked, swinging around the doorway and pointedly choosing to ignore Steve’s correction. 

“ _ And study!”  _

Bucky swung his way around his and Clint’s doorway, seeing him hunched over his computer, typing furiously. 

“Yo, Steve wanted me to hand you a paper on ‘The Ethical Dilemma of Pet Therapy for Children in Poverty’. Ew,” Bucky said, throwing the paper at his roommate, missing horribly and landing in a pile of dirty laundry. 

“Ha! Thank you!” Clint said, grabbing at the paper. 

“Why are you studying so much? You know that you know everything on the test already. You love reading about these child wellness care things.” 

“Okay, but what if I  _ forgot  _ something on the test? There are mini Lokis and Buckys out there who will need help, and they’re going to end up with people like my great cousin Marik,” Clint said, typing faster on his computer as he spoke. 

“Okay, first off, if Marik ‘I can’t even figure out if my beer cap is on my or my son’s head’ Wilnesser is able to become a social worker, then so can you, and second,” Bucky said, holding up a second finger, “I’m reporting you to Nat.” 

Clint snapped his head up. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll take a study break!” Clint said, hopping off the bed. 

“I want cheesecake anyway,” he muttered, stretching as he left the room. “And go study. You’re gonna flunk!” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky muttered, walking towards… well, he wasn’t really sure where Nat was, so he sorta paused in the hallway for a minute, shifting as he pressed the call icon by her name. 

“What do you want, Bucky? I’m studying,” she said in lew of an answer. 

“Hello to you, too. I’m calling to let you know that Clint is going crazy, and I’m making Steve study his  _ own  _ stuff, so I don’t know who should check on Tony,” he said. She sighed for a long time, longer then he was pretty sure she should have been able to. 

“Thor has a photographic memory. Ask him to. Just tell him to not pull any interventions-or handcuffs- until I’m back okay? Great, bye,” Natasha said, leaving him to room to argue as the dial tone sounded. 

“Great,” he muttered, walking back to Thor and Bruce's room. Lots of walking today, he noticed idly. He hated it. 

“Thor!” he yelled. Thor snapped his head towards him. 

“Where you watching for Loki on your phone? You know that he’s in school, right?”

“Just making sure he got out the door alright. what's wrong?” Thor asked, standing up. 

“Yeah, sure. Steve wanted me to ask Client to check in on Tony, but Clint thinks he’s gonna fail even though he knows everything already. Also, I called Nat, and she wanted me to tell you to go check on him,” he said, looking at Thor, who smiled. 

Sometimes Thor just liked looking after people. Bucky would never understand it. He had gone through extreme measures to avoid looking after or being looked after by anyone. The last time they had let him babysit Loki they had both ended up in a ditch.

“ of course I will go look in on tony!” Thor said happily. He was almost out the door before he turned around. “Why am I looking in on Tony?” 

“I dunno, he’s weird. Just go make sure he’s still alive, kay?” He said, rolling his eyes. He actually had no idea what they were supposed to check on with him, but it did some like it was necessary. Probably preventing the takeover of the world or something, it wouldn’t surprise him. 

“Okay, I can make sure he’s alive,” Thor said happily, bouncing out of the room. Bucky laughed, drawing the attention of Bruce. 

“Bucky, sit down and study before they kick you out of school altogether.”

0o0o0o

Thor walked happily up the stairs to the impromptu lab. He didn’t understand why Tony would  _ want  _ one, it just seemed like more work to him, but to each their own he supposed. He would probably also think that reading would be more work but it was all that Bruce and Loki seemed to do. 

“Tony?” He called, walking into the room caucus. He couldn’t recall ever being in there on his own, but he had seen the chicken robot and heard his friend's stories, which was more than enough to be careful, even for Thor. “I was sent by Bucky to check on you.” 

Silence. It was slightly unnerving, hearing the room so deadly quiet, and it was a big room. It looked like he had actually taken out the walls of the whole floor, creating one large mono-room to work in. He heard a buzzing behind him, making him turn around, worried for his and Tony's safety. He was meet with… well, he didn’t know what exactly it was, but it kinda looked like on big arm. He planned on ignoring it, but it bumped his arm, rather hard he might add, before rolling a couple of feet. It turned around after, seemingly expecting him to follow it; or at least that's what Thor was choosing to believe. 

“Hello?” He tried, walking up to the robot. It nodded its.. Arm and continued rolling. He followed, careful of where he placed his feet-the lab was known to have explosives, according to Clint- until he was lead somewhere in the depths of the giant machinery. Here, the bot stopped, whirring expectantly. 

“I don’t know what you want me to see- oh.” Curled up on the floor was Tony, seemingly fast asleep. He looked to the bot again. “Is he okay?” 

It nodded its arm, he was choosing to call it an arm, up and down, which he assumed was meant to be a yes. 

“Is he asleep?” He asked again. Another nod. Thor grinned to himself. He hadn’t actually seen Tony sleep-or choose to sleep- since he had met him. Every time Thor was up, so was Tony. It was unnerving, and all the others seemed to have similar experiences. Silently, he backtracked through the metal, trying to keep himself as silent as he could. Once he was near the door, he turned around in a full sprint, wincing at the sound of crunching metal that followed, and ran all the way back to the dorm rooms. 

“Thor? Is everything okay?” Steve asked. He had seemingly congregated in his room with Bruce and Bucky. 

“You gotta see this!” 

0o0o0o

Natasha dragged herself through the door reluctantly. She had intended on studying at Ricky's apartment until finals where over, the dorms were always a little crazy for her to actually concentrate and had given strict instructions to not be bothered unless absolutely necessary. As in  _ someone is dying get help immediately _ kind necessary. So when she got another call almost immediately after the last one, she seriously debated ignoring it, although she altimetry decided against it, hoping that it was something stupid and not an ‘oh no, Tony built a giant killer robot and everything dead’. She was not disappointed. 

“Natasha, you need to come to the dorms right now,” Bucky said, his voice high in excitement. 

“Is anyone dead or dying?” She asked, eyeing her boyfriend to make sure he didn’t wake up. He had passed out with a bottle of something a while ago but you could never be too careful. 

“No…” He started. 

“Bye Bucky.” She said, moving her thumb over the end call button. 

“Wait! No, you’re gonna wanna see this I swear!” Bucky called through the phone. 

“You have twenty seconds exactly.” She said, completely serious. 

“Okay, so I sent Thor to check on Tony like you told me to,” Bucky started. 

“Is he okay?” She asked. 

“Oh, he’s fine. Actually, he’s either doing great or he’s dead, but Steve swears his heart is beating so he's fine. Probably.” 

“Cut to the chase Bucky.” She hissed, growing auntie as Risky shifted. 

“Sorry, anyway he's kinda curled up sleeping on his lab floor and it is the cutest thing in the world and we’re taking photos to blackmail him with later and I thought you would like to see for yourself.” Bucky said in a rush. She grinned, both because Bucky was painting the cutest picture, and because it was reassuring to know she could still scar him. 

“I’m on my way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick and snowed into my house, please help me. I hope you liked the story <3


	24. A, B, C, or D?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Natasha, I’m going to fail everything!” Clint said, throwing down his flashcards glumly. 
> 
> She looked up from her binder, smirking at how flustered he looked. He was actually really smart, but tests panicked him, and he always ended up second-guessing if he had actually done anything the whole quarter. She flicked off a stray card with her socked foot, raising an eyebrow. 
> 
> “Okay, let me quiz you, then,” she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy! Also, I started a nightmare oneshot fic thing for this AU that I will be adding to as the story progresses, so go check that out, if you are so inclined :)

Natasha did not melt when she saw Tony curled tightly into a ball on his lab floor, snoring slightly, but she might have softened a little bit. She walked into the lab to hearing a hushed argument. 

“No, you can’t take pictures to blackmail him with. We are trying to  _ encourage  _ sleep, Bucky,” Steve hissed quietly. Bucky scowled, but did not lower his camera. She noticed with a smirk that neither did Bruce. He was going to be happy to finally have something to hold over Tony's head. 

Bruce must have tapped the photo button, because the room filled briefly with a bright light. He cursed, lowering the device as Steve snapped his head towards him. 

“Bruce!” He stage whispered, making Bruce jump. 

“Oh chill out, he’s not gonna wake up.” Bucky said, shoving Steve in the arm making him stumble. Before she could warn them, Steve’s heel connected with… well some kind of delicate metal-which thankfully didn’t explode- making a loud screeching noise. Natasha looked at Tony, as did everyone else. 

There was a delay between the noise and Tony waking up, but as soon as his eyes opened he sat straight up, standing a moment later. Maybe it was because he was tired, but he didn't look well at all to Nat ether, and he seemed a little shaky. But she did have to admire his speed at waking up, he seemed alert instantly. 

“Oh nice job Bruce.” Bucky said, no longer bothering to even pretend he was keeping his voice down. “Look what you did, you woke the baby.” 

“Okay first of all Tonys 18, second of all  _ that was not my fault. _ ” Bruce yelled back. They started arguing, while Steve meadiated. Clint though, who was standing at her shoulder, nudged her before nodding towards Tony. She looked at the teenager, worry gnawing in her stomach. Yes he was awake, and somehow already buried in his work, but he was definitely not okay. His hands were shaking pretty dramatically if you looked at it, and his face was ghostly pale. She nodded that she had seen it, before shrugging her shoulders slightly, not wanting to give away her worry just yet. Clint nodded his response and turned his attention to the debate again. 

“Why are we even arguing? You guys need to  _ study.  _ Everyone is gonna fail and drop out- actually, you know what, don’t study at all.” He said wryly turning around to head out. 

He made a good point, she realized. 

“I still don’t understand why people study,” Thor said, halfway across the hallway already. “Can’t you just… remember it?” 

“Yeah Steve, I think studying is pointless. I’m gonna go eat deep fried ice cream instead and just  _ remember  _ everything,” Bucky said turning around. Before he was even out the door Steve had grabbed him by the collar, dragging him out, hopefully to go review the stuff he hadn’t learned. 

“Naaabot,” Clint said, turning to her. 

“Oh no, what is it?” she asked. 

That expression and voice only meant one thing: he was about to ask her for something insane. 

“Can you help me stu-udy please?” he pouted. “I’m worried I’ll forget everything, and then what if-” 

She cut him off before he could launch onto a ramble about every bad thing in the world that could possibly be the result of him not studying. “Okay, fine, but you have to be  _ quiet.  _ Understand?” 

He nodded excitedly, clamping his jaw closed. She sighed at her friend, who was practically a toddler, as he made to bound off. Catching his wrist, she nodded to Tony, who was already across the workshop, before raising an eyebrow. “You go get ready, I’ll be there in a minute.” 

He nodded solemnly before bouncing off. 

“Tony,” she said as soon as the door closed. 

He snapped his head to face her, almost to quickly. She winced sympathetically. 

“What is wrong with you?” she asked again. 

Wow, no tact today, like, at all. That was fine. 

“I have no idea what you mean. I’m great- comparatively, of course.” 

As soon as he spoke, his whole poster changed. He was holding himself a little too straight, smiling a little to wide. It reminded her of his parents.

“Cut the bullshit, Tony. You  _ fell asleep,  _ which I haven’t seen you do since Thanksgiving, and now that you’re awake, you’re shaking like a leaf and acting strange,” she said, taking a step closer. 

He took a step back, although it was subtle, maintaining their established distance. He just laughed, although he looked pained, and smiled again. 

“Natasha, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just rested on the floor for a minute there. Isn’t that what you’re always nagging me to do?” he asked. “Of course, I could  _ not  _ sleep if that would be better for you, it’s just in our last conversation-” 

She had had enough of him doing this freaky, political, camera-ready type thing. It freaked her out, and it couldn’t be healthy, and she still wanted to know what was wrong, so she resorted to the tactics she knew. Luckily, he was a lot lighter then her friends, all of whom had towered over her since 9th grade (except for Steve, who caught up last year), which made him easier to push into a wall. 

“I told you to cut it out, Tony. I need to know if something new happened, or if this is just because of the self destruction I know about,” she hissed.

To his credit, he didn’t fight back, even as her forearm pressed on his throat. She wouldn’t hurt him, and they both knew it. 

“Okay, take a breath. Nothing new happened,” he assured. 

He was still doing the thing, but the contact with the wall was enough to make him grimace, which was both concerning and relieving. At least he wasn’t trying to mask anything  _ too  _ hard. 

“You promise me?” she asked, unwilling to release him. 

She hated him being alone up here for hours. He could get away with not sleeping or eating for who knows how long before they noticed. Now that she thought about it, that's probably why he was on the floor. 

“Yes, I promise!” he said, louder this time, although still controlled, even calculated. 

She let him go reluctantly, and he stumbled forward, one hand on his throat and the other wrapped tightly around his abdomen. She didn’t like it at all, though. For one thing, he wasn’t scared. He wasn’t scared at all by her sudden movement or threats, and she didn’t like that. She didn’t like it because he seemed used to it, not startled by the violence. She hated how unperturbed he was, looking almost bored.

“You sure as hell better not be lying to me, Tony. I can’t have you dying or something becuase you were stupid,” she said, eyes narrowed. 

He nodded, eyes gleaming mischievously. 

“Of course,” he said smoothly. 

He was doing the thing, hadn’t stopped actually, but she decided to not push the issue. In some ways, she was still getting to know Tony, and she didn’t want to break him before she could predict how it would go down. 

“Good. I’ll be in Clint’s room if you need anything, or so help me, I’ll-” 

“Kill me?” Tony asked smugly, interrupting her threat. 

She narrowed her eyes. If she wanted him to get help, she needed to take control of the situation. 

“-tell them everything,” she finished. 

It was a low blow, even for her, but Tony needed it. He needed to be afraid of something to get help. 

She had hit her mark. Tony's face dropped in shock. She couldn’t help but feel a little proud that she had gotten through his facade, even through unsavory tactics. 

“I-I… you wouldn’t.” Tony said, stammering slightly. 

That was new. 

“I think we both know I would. It benefits me: I wouldn’t be the only one looking after you, and you don’t have any means to stop me without compromising your status with us,” she said. 

If Tony wanted to play like a politician, so be it. She could play that game, although maybe not as well. 

“Fine. I’ll tell you,” he said, narrowing his eyes. 

He closed off instantly and she almost regretted the threat. Almost. She knew that she would never tell them, at least not for something as petty as a threat, but he needed a reminder, and she provided that.

But she didn’t want to lose his trust completely; then she would be even more out of the loop then she already was now. Smiling, she took two efficient steps forward, drawing herself up directly in front of Tony. She hadn’t realized she was taller than him until now. It made her smile to see him looking so tiny. It was a relief the few times he did act his age. He didn’t have time to react before she grabbed him, pulling him into a brief hug. No matter what she tried to do, Tony's identity would come out inevitably- it was only a matter of time-, and he would have to get used to physical contact pretty quickly. Before he could say anything, she let go and was out the door, off to go help Clint. 

0o0o0o

“Natasha, I’m going to fail everything!” Clint said, throwing down his flashcards glumly. 

She looked up from her binder, smirking at how flustered he looked. He was actually really smart, but tests panicked him, and he always ended up second guessing if he had actually done anything the whole quarter. She flicked off a stray card with her socked foot, raising an eyebrow. 

“Okay, let me quiz you, then,” she said. 

His head shot up from his mess of papers, looking almost comical. 

“Really?” he asked hopefully, making her laugh. 

He was significantly bigger than her, but he still acted scared of her, sort of like an overgrown puppy. Lots of her friends reminded her of giant dogs nowadays. 

“Yeah. You’ll pass everything, and I can tell you to shut up,” she said confidently. 

“Okay… but what if… I  _ don’t _ ?” he asked. 

She sighed, picking up one of the study guides on his bed. 

“Then you’ll know what to study. Okay, if a child calls CPS and reports an incident between a sibling/homemate and their guardian, who would be under inspection for removal? Would it be A. The child who was reportedly involved in the incident; B. The child who called and the child reported as well as any other minors under the guardian's care; C, the adult; or D, all of the above.”

“Uhhhm, B?” Clint asked uncertainly. 

She laughed at his expression, which did not make it appear any less worried. 

“Natasha, did I get it? Am I right, Natasha? Nat? Why are you laughing at me? Tasha? Hello?” 

“Yes! Yes, you were correct,” she said, laughing again as Clint practically deflated. 

“Don’t scare me like that, Romanov,” he said, pressing a hand dramatically to his chest before collapsing on an empty pizza box. 

“Gross. Okay. If an adult in an authoritative position, such as a teacher, tutor, government worker, etc. reports a case of domestic violence with no proof, and you are told to drop the case, what would you do? A. Follow the rules; B. Call and ask the person reporting it; C. Investigate on your own time, but do not interact with anyone involved unless you have found evidence; D. Enter the residence of the child looking for clues?” she asked again, watching as Clint scrambled for notecards. 

“No cards on the test, Clint!” she yelled. 

“Um, C?” he asked. 

“Correct answer, but total bullshit. You and I both know that you would drop everything and charge in there head first,” she said, throwing the study guide. 

Clint gasped. 

“I am offended, Natasha. Do you think that I would compromise my job, the most important thing in my entire life, for something like a child so easily?” he asked. 

She smirked. 

“Yes. Yes I do.” 

“Well, then you’d be correct,” he said. “What's the next question?”

“The next question is who gives a shit?” she said, rolling over on his bed to hide her face in his pillow. 

“You’re gonna pass; now it’s just boring.” 

“Hmff,” he huffed. “I didn’t know you were so nonchalant about grades, Nattie.” 

“Call me that again and you’re dead, Barton,” she said, her head still hidden under his pillow. 

She couldn’t see him, but she could picture the scared face he was making. Scaring people straight when they’re a kid has its benefits. 

“Sorry, Tasha,” he said glumly. 

She sighed, rolling over to face him. He really did the whole pathetic look very well, making his eyes all big and glassy and pouting just enough to seem slightly comical but also sad. She didn’t like it.

“Okay okay, I’ll only make you study. How's that?” she asked. 

He grinned, grabbing a half eaten donut off the floor and stuffing it in his face. 

“‘Er’ect.” he said, his mouth completely full.

“I take back everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GAH THANK YOU FOR READING LOVE YA'LL


	25. Guns Lawyers and Body's (aka sic fic chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not getting you any guns… or lawyers. What happened?” He asked. She turned her face towards him and, aside from the unhealthy flush of a fever, her face was marked by a considerable bruise on her right cheekbone. 
> 
> “I ran into a door.” She said, brushing some hair from her face, making Clint notice the split knuckles. 
> 
> “Holy shit Nat! And your hand?” He asked, sitting on the couch and taking her unnaturally warm hand in his. 
> 
> “It didn’t respond to my verbal warning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick so everyone else is too. enjoy.

Bucky didn’t know what time he went to sleep last night, but there was no way it was late enough to warrant this kind of struggle getting out of bed. He had a final at 11:30 and by 11:25 he had only just managed to disentangle himself from his bed.

“Bucky get your ass out of bed you’re gonna fail everything!” Clint screamed, banging a pan over his head. The noise dizzying him, making white spots appearing in front of his vision. He stumbled slightly, crashing into Clint. 

“Ew! You’re all sweaty!” Clint said, side stepping so Bucky stumbled onto the bed instead. “Jeeze, you okay- oh.” Clint said. 

“What?” Bucky asked, dropping his head in his hands. 

“Oh I probably gave you the flu I had last week.” Clint said, shuffling his feet. He clapped his hands together, making Bucky flinch. “Okay, you gotta get dressed or you’re gonna miss the final.” 

“I can’t go, I’m busy dying.” Bucky muttered, his stomach turning as Clint pulled him up. 

“You’ll be dying on the streets if you don’t take your final and get kicked out. Hurry up.” Clint said, giving him a particularly hard shove in the direction of the door. 

“But i'm not dressed yet.” Bucky slurred. 

“It’s collage, no one will care, just run, take the test, and then you can come back to vomit, I promas.” Clint said. 

“Don’t say the ‘V’ word.” He groaned, but obediently dragged himself to the door. Clint just chuckled and handed him a gatorade, which he had lying everywhere because this is  _ Clint  _ and pushed him out the door. 

“Why weren't you like this when you were sick?” He asked Clint. “You seemed normal last week.”

“I have 17 brothers and half as many sisters, I have learnt to hide illnesses well.” Clint said deadpan, grabbing his arm and dragging him towards the outdoors.

“Because they smother you?” He asked. Clint looked at him like he was stupid. 

“No, because if they know you’re throwing up they’ll find every kind of horrifying fatty food and eat it in front of you to make you sicker.” He said. Juist hearing about it was enough to make Bucky feel ill. 

“Ew.” 

“Okay, off to class with you. I’ll go to make sure that no one else is sick.” Clint said. Bucky nodded as he stumbled away. 

0o0o0

Clint walked into the living room to see a pile of blankets on the couch, which would not be so unusual, if it went cursing in Russion. 

“Careful Nat, if Steve ever learns Russion you’re gonna be in timeout for life.” he said. He had been studying it for the last five years to try and understand some of the names she called him, although so far he had mostly drawn up empty; meaning he knew a lot of random russion cursing. 

“Сядь в груду избитых восковых головок из лаборатории Тони и подумай о своих действиях, Клинт. Сегодня меня вырвало как минимум двенадцать раз.” She muttered, growling. (Go sit in a pile of Tonys wax baby heads and think about what you’ve done Clint. I’ve vomited at least 12 times today.) 

Clint huffed out a laugh at her insult. Or threat, depending on how you look at it, and chose to walk closer to her blanket fort. 

“Anything I can do for you Tash?” He asked, eyeing her warily. She was more jumpy when she was sick and he knew from experience that she slept with a loaded gun. 

“смерть, боеприпасы и хороший адвокат” She said. 

“I’m not getting you any guns… or lawyers. What happened?” He asked. She turned her face towards him and, aside from the unhealthy flush of a fever, her face was marked by a considerable bruise on her right cheekbone. 

“ I ran into a door.” She said, brushing some hair from her face, making Clint knotice the split knuckles. 

“Holy shit Nat! And your hand?” He asked, sitting on the couch and taking her unnaturally warm hand in his. 

“It didn’t respond to my verbal warning.” She said. He was pretty sure she was joking. Pretty sure. 

“Har Har. So you’re stuck here I assume.” Clint asked. He had no idea where she slept when it wasn’t here, although Tony had usually told him it wasn’t always at her boyfriend's house. He had asked about that but Tony had clammed up, not willing to share any more information. In the end all Clint got was a promise to tell him if anything important surfaced. 

“Yeah. Ricky said that if I got him sick I would have hell to pay so I'm staying here.”She said, squirming under the blankets. Clint couldn’t tell if he should be worried to Natasha or her boyfriend's safety, but he liked Nat more, so she won. 

“Well you’re not going to be comfortable on the couch.” He said, surveying the old sofa they had picked up off the side of the road. The fact that she was even on it was worrying enough, normally she wouldn’t get near it. “You can use my bed.” 

Natasha rolled her eyes at him from under her blankets and his hoodie, although it was clearly hers now. “Don’t be ridiculous. You might not be sick but you do need to sleep.” She said, rolling so she was pressed up against the coustions, tightly curled into herself. 

“I’m not being ridiculous. I can sleep on the sofa. Besides, you need more sleep then I do when you’re sick.” He insisted. She glared, but didn’t respond otherwise. “Do you really want to sleep out in the open here.” He pressed. 

She looked at him wearily for a long time before sighing. “When I can stand up without barfing I’ll think about it.” 

That was practically a yes in Natasha speak, so instead of responding verbally, he grabbed her, five blankets and all, and started all but sprinting to his room. 

“Clint!” Natasha shreaked, making him flinch as he rounded the corner. He maybe should have thought about the loaded weapons she was probably concealing under her (his) hoodie.

“I thought I would eliminate the walking portion for you.” He said, grinning cheekily. She practically growled, but as soon as she was dropped onto his unmade bed burrowed under happily. 

“That was rude.” She said. 

“But only for your own good.” He replied grinning. “Is there anything I can do for you, or should I leave you alone?” He asked, surveying her. She thought for a moment before replying.

“Can you just make sure I don’t have any bodies to bury when I’m better?” She asked, making him smile. She showed she cared in strange ways. 

“Check on everyone. Got it.” He said, turning to leave before remembering something. “You sure as hell better be here when I get back or I’m calling the cops and reporting you missing, understand?” He asked, throwing his comforter over her already large pile of blankets. 

“Of course.” She said with a grin. “ I promise to either be here or dead when you see me next.” 

“Wait no.” He said. She just smiled knowingly at him. “Oh, okay, your joking right? I’m gonna assume that was a joke. Haha. okay, gotta go.” He said, backing out a little. “Bye! Feel better! Please stay alive!” He yelled before sprinting the other way. He was positive his face was bright red by now. 

“You know that's never gonna happen right?” Bruce commented, having apparently materialised on the barstool with a cup of coffee.

“Yeah, I know.” He said glumly. He was long past trying to hide it from any of them. Bruce laughed at him, before turning down the hall, presumably to walk towards his room. 

“Oh hey Bruce?” He called, making the other man turn around. “Nat and Bucky are sick, are you and Thor both good? I promised I would keep everyone alive for a bit.” 

“Well, I  _ was  _ sick, but I took enough Bismuth subsalicylate to numb myself from the inside out. I think Thor has thrown up out the window a couple times, but when he isn’t barfing he seems okay.” Bruce filled in, taking a gulp of coffee as he spoke. 

“Great. That's great. Well come get me if either of you need anything. Or better yet, just call me and spare the hallway.” He said, before setting off to go check on everyone else. 

“Sure.” Bruce said, continuing towards his dorm. “I’ll be studying.” 

“Good!” 

Clint didn’t even bother knocking when he went into Steves room, given the door was flung open. Steve was lying perfectly straight on the bed, eyes closed and mouth slightly parted. Which wouldn’t have been a cause for concern, if not for the fact that it was a good seven hours after Steves normal wake up time. Opting to leave him be though, he grabbed a scrap of paper, scribbling a note so Steve knew where to find him before backing out quietly. 

“Okay, please stay alive.” He muttered as he retreated slowly to Tony and Sam's dorm. Once again, the dorm door was wide open and he wasn’t willing to risk waking ether of them, so he stepped inside stealthily. Or it would have been stealthy, if Tony hadn’t left some horrible death trap of a robot part of the floor, which connected with the pad of his foot painfully. 

“ _ Dammitdammit owowowowow what the f- _ ” He cut himself off before he could finish, biting down hard on his lip when he saw the room was occupied by Sam. 

“You okay?” Sam asked from his desk. 

“Yeah.” He muttered, examining the affected skin. Luckelly, it hadn’t even drawn blood, let alone impaled him like he had immediately thought it would.”Damn it Tony.” 

“I wish I had a dollar for every time something like that happened.” Sam said, spinning around in his chair. 

“That's concerning. Oh, hey, I’m here to make sure you aren't sick.” Clint said once the pain wore off. “So you’re like… alive and stuff?” He asked. Sam nodded. 

“I mean, I am. I was a bit sick last night but I’m pretty much good now.” 

“Good. That's good. Great. Have you seen Tony?” He asked, causetly scooting more pieces of metal out of his path. 

“Not in here for about four or five days.” Sam said, opening his laptop. 

“ _ Days!  _ Why haven’t you said anything!” Clint asked. 

“I mean, it’s not all that uncommon.” Sam said without turning around. “I have no idea where he does sleep, but it's not here.” 

“Damn it. Okay, thank you. Call me if you get worse, okay?” He asked, picking his way across the floor. “I’m gonna go make sure Tony isn’t dead.” 

“Good for you.” Sam said, plugging her earbuds in, effectively ending the conversation. 

Clint took it as his cue to turn around and hightail it out of the deathtrap of a room. Clearly the finished products of whatever Tony was working on ended up in his lab, or as with the chicken robot, roaming the dorms. He jogged up the stairs, slightly anxious to open the door, knowing he was about as likely to find Tony dead as it was to find him plotting the destruction of the world. 

“Tony?” He called as he swung the door open. “You okay?” 

The workshop was dead silent. It was unnerving, he hadn’t ever been in there without a million things wiring and chirping and beeping, which was usually background noise to Tony, explaining some kind of statistically improbable invention or justifying an experiment or something. Never dead like this. 

“Hello? Tony? You here?” He called again, his voice echoing eerily. He stepped in, his footsteps ringing out. “Tony?” 

As he walked further in he saw something swinging from the ceiling, over 30 feet in the air. He squinted at it, trying to make out what it was. It was swinging, sickeningly high it almost made him dizzy to look at. He could make out what looked like a harness clip, glinting in the light. The longer he looked at it, trying to see it in the dull light he more he thought it  _ did  _ look like a harness clip. Attached to- 

“ _ SHIT!”  _ He yelped, leaping forward. Tony was swinging from over 30 feet high, clearly passed out. He scampered around, looking for an emergency release, trying not to think about the freshmen dropping down to the metal floor, snapping an arm or neck. It would all be perfectly fine, right? “Tony! Can you hear me?” He yelled. 

Tony twitched slightly in the harness, stirring just barely enough to make the wire sway in the air, bonking his head against the metal plating of the wall. Clint scampered up the latter which Tony must have taken to the ceiling before dropping down, looking for an emergency release. Not seeing one as he approached he decided on a different method, and instead grabbed an unassuming textbook of a table after dropping down and chucked it straight at the smaller man. 

“Sorry Tony.” He muttered. But it did the trick. Tony jerked awake instantly, and seemed to only need a moment to assess where he was, although he looked at Clint in confusion as he presses a number of buttons on his phone, making the harness lower him to the ground- rather faster then Clint was comfortable with -so he could walk over. 

“Holy  _ shit  _ Tony. Here, hold still.” He muttered, running over and unclipping the harness with ease. He had to learn for a rock climbing class, and the knowledge came in handy much more often than you would think. Tony stared at him warily, but made no move to protest, allowing Client to undo the harness and throw it across the workshop in hopes of the mini genius forgetting about it, before he wrapped a steadying arm around Tony as he swayed on his feet. 

“Thanks.” Tony muttered, blinking. “I must have blacked out for a second there.” 

“Yeah, sure, a second. I was coming to see if you were sick, but I think you answered the question for me.” He said, absently brushing what looked like drywall out of Tony's hair. “Come on, you’ve got to sleep.” 

“No no, I’m totally fine.” Tony said, trying to push away. Clint, not wanting to handle the logistical issues of trying to reason with the genius, simply grabbed Tony by his waist and hauled him downstairs. 

“I might have believed it if you weren't passed out 40 fet in the air.” He said dully as he approached the stairs. 

“It was only 30 ish feet.” Tony grumbled, but nevertheless choose to not fight him to much, for which Clint was grateful, because if he had given Tony a concussion on the hardwood stairs he was pretty sure he would never have forgiven himself. 

“You are going to bed, and we are discussing this latter, understood?” He asked. Tony just nodded thirdly, a proclamation of how sick he really must have been, and allowed himself to be dragged to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that chapter! I might be updating a little less because school is kicking my butt and I am helping like, four other kids with their writing. Hehe, help me. So just a heads up, I differently haven't abandoned this in any way shape or form, but expect updates to be more like twice a week from now on. As always, kudos and comments always incline me to update more often and are much appreciated.


	26. Double uh oh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It's gonna be a week until I see Loki again. A week!” He complained to Natasha, she looked entirely unsympathetic as she tugged on his hair, wrangling it into a braid. 
> 
> “You’ve gone longer and survived.” She stated simply, giving his hair an extra hard tug. 
> 
> “But it, I, we… it’s so long Natasha, How am I going to make it?” He asked. She gave no reassurance at that, simply smiled at his impatiens and continued trying to detangle his hair strand by strand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super sick and loaded up with homework and barley finished this but HOLY CRAP AM I EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!

“Tony?” Bruce asked. Everyone had finally recovered from the flu, or so he thought, and classes were wrapping up. It was actually relieving, because while everyone went down hard, and he meant  _ hard, _ Tony seemed to go down worse. Or he was just so far above functional normally going down to a normal level was more extreme. “ _ Tony!”  _

The smaller head snapped up from the counter, where he had slumped over some kind of circuit board he was tinkering on. His hair was sticking up slightly, although it was less dramatic without the motor oil. “Yes?” He asked. 

“You okay? You look tired.” He said. 

Tony glared at him, flicking his eyes between him and the wires. He was looking awfully pale, and his hands were unsteady, something he had never seen on the freshmen before. “I’m not tired. I’ve had plenty of sleep for the week.” He said. 

“I am choosing to believe that that was a joke.” He said, shaking his head. If it wasn’t then there was something that needed addressing, and he wasn’t recovered enough to do that yet. “Want any coffee?” He asked, jerking his head towards the kurage. 

“Bleh,” Tony said, sticking his head back down. “I haven’t had Coffee in like, 12 days but I think I’ll just throw up again.”

“You… damn, hey Steve get in here!” He yelled. Tony was dependent on coffee to a degree he hadn’t seen in anyone before. One time he had tried to hide the coffee and Tony had just taken a spoon and started eating the grounds. He had known Tony was sick, but this seemed different than the rest of them.

Steve jogged in, having been completely recovered, and looked at them in concern. “You needed something?” 

“Yeah, can I talk to you in the other room real quick?” He asked, pulling on the blonde's arm before he was given a chance to argue. “We’ll only be a minute, okay?” 

“M’kay,” Tony said, dropping his head again and curling in on himself. 

“What did you need?” Steve asked, looking mildly annoyed. The man was good at solving problems that didn’t run over two minutes. 

“Tony needs help.” He said simply. Steve looked confused at that. 

“He seemed normal to me.” Steve said. 

“Exactly. Doesn't that seem like a problem to you? He hasn’t even attempted eating in over six days, which is long even for him, he hasn’t had coffee in twice as long, he’s sleeping constantly, and he has been sicker than the rest of us for longer. I think he needs a medical professional or someone to check in on him.” Bruce said, glancing through the doorway as he spoke with worry. Luckily Tony didn’t seem to hear anything he said so far, keeping his head down. 

“It doesn't sound like an emergency…” Steve said wearily. 

“Doesn't sound like- okay. Look at how he’s sitting.” He said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We have known him for almost 5 months, have you ever in that time period, seen him slouch?” He asked, gesturing to the sicker one of them. 

“Listen, Bruce, I don’t have the time or energy to deal with this right now-” Steve said, rubbing his face harshly. 

“Fine, but at least delegate me so that when I pull an intervention and take him to the hospital he can’t be mad at me.” 

“I… could work with that,” Steve said. 

“Great. On it.” He said, moving towards the kitchen again. When he walked back in, he saw Tony engaged in begrudging conversation with Bucky, his head drooping a bit as he spoke. 

“Bruce, what the hell happened to it?” Bucky asked, pointing at Tony. 

“We don’t call people ‘it’ bucky, and Tony hasn’t been feeling well for a while, I was just thinking about taking him into the hospital.” 

Tony straightened at that, although he was unable to hide his wince or hiss of pain. “I don’t need to go to the hospital, I'm fine.” He insisted. 

“Hospital? Why? What do you think might be wrong?” Bucky asked, also on high alert. 

“Well, I’m no doctor, but given how he’s acting it could be something with his digestive tract, a cracked rib or something, maybe appendicitis, although that's unlikely, he’d be rolling on the floor with pain if he had that.” Bruce explained. He did not like the face bucky made.

“I’m perfectly okay. Feeling better.” Tony said hurriedly. He would have actually been convincing if his skin tone wasn’t the shade of paper and he had stopped shaking. 

“Yeah, I’m su-” Before Bruce would finish what he was trying to say, he watched in horror as Bucky pulled back his (normal) arm, and stuck Tony hard in the abdomen. Tony crumpled instantly, his head smacking the floor hard, making Bruce thankful for the carpeting, no matter how gross it may be. 

“ _ Bucky! What the hell? _ ” He screamed, shocked by the other's actions. 

“What happened?” Steve asked as Bruce ran to check on the unconscious freshman. 

“Bucky just gut-punched Tony to prove he was sick!” Bruce said, still disbelieving. “He’s not waking up, I’m driving him to the hospital.” 

“I’ll come.” Steve volunteered. 

“No way, if we both leave then everything will go to shit. I’ll text you updates.” He said, grabbing the (surprisingly light) man and striding out the door. 

Steve watched Bruce leave with a scowl on his face. He turned to Bucky, who looked rightfully bashful. “What the hell was that?” 

“In my defence, it would have happened anyway, just like, three hours later. I just moved things along.” Bucky said, holding up his hands. 

“Not good enough. That's 15 dollars in the piggy bank and the dishes for a month.” Steve said. “And, you are visiting him if he gets admitted.” 

“Fine.”

0o0o0o

It had been four days, exams where over, people had recovered, and Thor was going to explode from boredom. He had a whole nother week until he got to go home for Christmas, or more accurately pick Loki up and get stuck with Clint’s family over the holiday. They were particularly pushy about Christmas celebration, even if they didn’t stay over Christmas day, and he and his brother had spent at least a portion of their break with them. Admittedly, he wasn’t doing much to help his situation, aside from sprawling everywhere in sight and complaining as loudly as possible to everyone nearby. 

“It's gonna be a week until I see Loki again. A  _ week _ !” He complained to Natasha, she looked entirely unsympathetic as she tugged on his hair, wrangling it into a braid. 

“You’ve gone longer and survived.” She stated simply, giving his hair an extra hard tug. 

“But it, I, we… it’s so  _ long  _ Natasha, How am I going to make it?” He asked. She gave no reassurance at that, simply smiled at his impatiens and continued trying to detangle his hair strand by strand. 

“You could start by doing your homework.” Clint chimed in from his spot on the sofa. He looked up from the ‘rug’, which was actually a plastic sheet with someone else's sheets on top. 

“I already did all of my studying, now I just have to fill it all in.” He muttered. “It's just so  _ boring _ .” 

Natasha tugged hard on his hair, making him jerk his head backward, knocking his skull against her knee. “Hold still.” She demanded, not relenting her presser as she twisted her fingers in his hair. 

“No! It hurts Nat!” He complained. “Besides, you keep tugging on my head too hard. You’re gonna hurt me.” He whined.

“Well, sucks to be you.” She said unsympathetically.

“Yes it does, because I have to wait seven days,  _ seven days  _ until I can see Loki again. It’s so  _ boring  _ by brain hurts.” 

Natasha tied off the rest of the braid, patting his shoulder as she scooted away from him. He swung his head, smiling as his hair slipped over the top of his head and back again. Natasha chuckled at him before standing, bending backward to stretch in a way that made both Clint and him wince. 

“I hate when you do that,” Clint remarked at her crooked position. She quirked her mouth, bending far enough back to brush the floor with her fingertips, making them squirm. They were startled by her ringtone, disrupting the silence, relative as it was. She unfurled, grabbing her phone off the table. 

“Who is it?” He asked, looking at her face for clues. 

“Loki. Hold on, I’ma takes this.” She said, pressing except. “Hey Loki, this is Nat, you’re on speakerphone.” She said, setting the phone down. 

There was a rustling on the other end, but no words. A few moments later, someone humming loudly, before a tapping came through the speaker. 

“Is it a prank?” Clint asked, tilting his head. 

“Maybe, but I don't think so. Usually, his prank calls are more elaborate than this, and never to me.” Natasha said. 

“Why’s he tapping?” Thor asked, already on red alert. 

“I think it’s morse code.” Clint said. Nat snapped her fingers before shushing them. 

“ …---... …---... …---...” The code came through the phone, repeating every 9 taps. Thor didn’t know morse code, but he knew Nat did. 

“What's he saying?” He asked impatiently. 

“S.O.S.” She muttered, looking at her phone with a furrowed eyebrow.

“S.O.S.? What does that mean?” He asked. By her face, it didn’t sound good. 

“It means help, shortened for Save Our Souls. They used it on ship crashes.” She muttered slowly. “Loki? Are you okay?” 

“ .__ _ _ _,” The phone said. 

“Okay, he said no, we’re getting in the van.” She said, grabbing her phone and purse off the ground. 

“No one is getting in any vans,” Steve said, materializing in the doorway, blocking Natashas path. She looked at him for a moment, before striking out with her hand, hitting him somewhere in his shoulder that made him fall down quickly. 

“Natasha!” He shrieked, grabbing at his shoulder as Nat stormed past him. “We can’t leave, Bucky might have murdered Tony!” 

That got her to stop. She turned around sharply, storming up to the taller man. “What the hell do you mean?” 

Steve backed up a bit, not that Thor could blame him, they were all scared of Natasha. “Bruce was worried about Tony, and Tony lied about being sick, and so Bucky punched him in the stomach and he passed out, so Bruce took him to the hospital.”

She clenched her jaw, clearly working through something mentally. “Have Bruce call me as soon as they known anything, and I mean  _ anything _ , about Tony, understand?” She said, jabbing a finger at his throat. He nodded, swallowing thickly. “Now, Me, Clint and Thor are going to go check on Loki, because he has been tapping messages through his phone asking for help. You can come if you want, but you sure as hell aren't stopping us.” 

Thor smiled, following the redhead out. He didn’t know what the morse code meant exactly, Loki had never been that good at it, but it was enough to worry him. 

“Loki are you still here?” Natasha asked. 

“ _ _ . _ . . . .” Came through the phone, before a robotic voice came through. “The call you were listening to has ended. To revive the call, insert another coin or swipe a card.” 

They all looked at the phone. The fact that Loki isn't using his own phone was worrying enough, they had never seen him without both his phone and at least two extra chargers. He had actually started a petition once to get rid of the payphones. He thought all they did was encourage the ‘doctor whoers’ and serve no other purpose. 

“Okay Natasha, I can see how that might be alarming but don’t rush into-” He started. Fortunately for Steve, his words cut off by Natasha, who reached back, grabbed Clint and Thor's wrists and started walking again. 

“Come on,” She said, turning to Clint. “Go. Grab Bucky and meet me at the car ASAP. If Steve tries to protect you, you have permission to use the bow, understand?” She said, waiting for a nod before letting him go. 

“Do you think Loki is gonna be okay?” Thor asked, tightening his hand around Natasha's grip. She turned to look at him, although her face wasn’t reassuring at all. 

“We’ll do what we can.” She promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that happened. Everyone lives I swear. I just got some new shoes that correct a bunch of chronic pain I am dealing with so I have SO. MUCH. ENERGY.
> 
> Please kudos and comment!!


	27. Norse Mythology Made Me Write It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I. Am. So. Very. Sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I have been gone for forever, but honestly, school is freak'n HARD man, and I have had tests to study for and stuff, so I did the best I could, hope you like it! :)

Bucky sat squished between Thor and Clint in the van as they sped down the highway. After punching Tony, they weren't going to trust him without babysitters. In the end, only Bruce had stayed behind; no one trusted the others to handle whatever had happened. Bucky glanced at Steve, who he was pretty sure was in danger of breaking the steering wheel. 

“You might wanna slow down, Steve,” Sam said from the back. 

Steve snapped his head towards him, eyes abandoning the road for several seconds. 

“I’m going the speed limit,”he said simply. 

Bucky eyed the speedometer, which read at least 85. 

“Not saying you’re not, but I think there might be a cop behind us.” 

Almost everyone turned around at that, seeing a completely clear highway. Sam shushed them before anyone could say anything, clearly intending to lead Steve on. 

“Well, the cop can just deal then,” Steve said. 

Bucky looked at the others in the car as they barreled down the highway. Everyone was tense. Thor sat rigid in his seat, gazing straight ahead and completely unmoving. Clint slumped at his right, trying (and failing) to unravel the van’s siding as he mindlessly tugged at loose strings. Natasha was in front, doing something intentional-looking on her phone, and Sam had been stuck in the back with their “go bags”. Steve’s idea. Bucky himself felt hopelessly antsy, unable to stop himself from drumming his fingers on his knee for longer than a second or two. 

“Bucky, I swear, I will kill you in the slowest, most gruesome way I know if you make that noise one more time,” Natasha threatened from the front seat, pinching her forehead. 

He mumbled an apology and stuck his hands in his hoodie pocket to fidget instead, hopefully quieter. 

“Thor, do you recognize any of this? Are we getting close, at least?” Steve asked. 

They had already driven 14 hours, and the only indications they were getting closer were the changing shadows. 

“Yes. We will be there soon,” Thor said, shifting only slightly to look out the window. 

“How soon is soon? I can’t keep driving forever. I need to know when to turn.”

“Turn when I tell you to,” Thor snapped. 

Steve backed down after that, sinking slightly into the seat. It took a lot for Thor to snap, and they didn’t want to push him any more than they absolutely had to. 

They fell into an uneasy, but understood, silence, the only noises being the car’s deep rumbling, the occasional shifting of fabric as someone re-adjusted, and Nat’s nails on her phone screen, but even Thor knew better than to snap at her. It lasted about 30 seconds before Steve’s phone dinged. 

“Bucky, can you tell what that is?” Steve asked, not turning around as he passed back his phone. 

It was one of the cool fancy ones that Tony had asked them to demo, and it already had his thumbprint pre-loaded. 

He read the screen a few times before glancing back up. 

“Bruce says that Tony is out of surgery at the hospital, he had appendicitis and just didn’t mention it, and that I’m dead,” he read slowly. 

He hated reading. Whatever it was that Tony had done to the screens made it a little easier than before, everything looked slightly more anchored, but it was still hard. 

“Wait, _what_?” Natasha said, turning around to look at him. 

He handed the phone up in response, not wanting to repeat himself. 

“Of course. Of course that's what it was,” she muttered before turning back to her own phone with renewed rigor. 

Bucky couldn’t read the name from his seat, but he was pretty sure he recognised Tony's picture as the icon of the person she was texting. 

“Great, so Tony almost died and Loki might actually be dead. This is fine, this is all fine,” Steve muttered. 

Thor's hand tightened next to Bucky, who had to make a conscious decision to not scoot away from him. 

“Turn left up ahead,” Thor said simply, his words sharp and clipped. 

Steve obeyed, turning off the highway to some kind of dirt road. 

“It it even legal to have a highway turnoff to a driveway?” Steve muttered. 

“Well, it’s there, so clearly someone did it whether or not they should have,” Thor responded. 

“Well I know someone did it, I just want to know if they should have.” 

“You know what-” Thor started. 

“ _Guys._ Natasha snapped, whipping her head towards Thor and then back at Steve. 

They froze instantly. 

“Cut it out right now.” 

“Bu-” Steve started. 

Thor was staring straight ahead with his jaw clenched tightly. 

“No. No no no. I don’t care. You’re both going to quiet down and, Steve, for the love of- _stop swerving!_ ” she said, reaching over and grabbing the wheel, keeping the car on the road. 

“ _Steve!”_ Bucky and Clint said at the same time as the car jolted. 

“It’s not my fault! There was a person on the road!” Steve yelled. 

They exchanged glances and Steve threw the car into park. The three of them were out of the car before it had even stopped, backtracking up the road. There, lying in a heap, was a man covered in fake fur and the “marmot logo”- a skull with whiskers. 

“Damn it. We need to go,” Natasha said, ushering them back towards the car.

“Shouldn’t we make sure he’s okay?” Clint asked, worrying his lip between his teeth. 

“Yeah, sure, once we’re sure Loki’s okay, we can backtrack and take care of the feral marmot person and let him ride in a confined space with us for 16 hours again. Sound good?” she said, grabbing him by his hoodie and dragging him back into the car.

They rode in silence for a couple more minutes before pulling up to Thor's house. It was a large ranch style house, with a couple large trees around the perimeter and a ladder leaning on one window, and it was completely surrounded by police cars. 

Thor was out of the car long before it stopped, sprinting to the door and already half way inside before they finished parking. 

“Thor! That might not be the best idea…” Steve called, trailing off. 

Thor had already disappeared before he was done speaking. The rest of them piled out of the car as soon as they stopped, running after him in a similar style. They tumbled through the door and were greeted with the sight of Thor's parents cursing each other out in the living room, which wouldn’t have been so concerning if it weren’t for the gun in his mother’s hands. In an instant Thor was between the two of them, holding up his hands placiatingly and turning to face his mother. 

“What… happened?” He asked slowly.

“H-How could you! H-He’d never, _never_ -” s he stuttered, gesturing with her gun at Thor, seemingly not seeing her son as she continued ranting.

“Of _course_ he would! You and I saw the _same. Damn. thing._ ” Oden spat back. Bucky and Clint stepped towards Odin at the same time, ready to hold him back if need be. 

“Mother, Father! Calm down.” Thor ordered, reaching towards his mother's arm. She yanked the gun away, leveling it somewhere around his arm. 

“Don’t get in between us Thor, you’re the last good one.” Oden said from behind. 

“Where is Loki?” Thor asked cooly. It unnerved all of them to see him like that, serious and angry and defensive. He rarely acted that way at all, and never around them. 

“Off,” His mother gestured with the gun. 

“Little shit ran away after _she_ -” His father started again. Thor didn’t let them finish, darting out the back door, presumably in search of his brother. 

“We should follow him, right?” He asked Clint. Clint nodded, and they all made their way out, purposely avoiding the gun. 

They burst into the ‘yard’ which was more of a giant field, bordered by a forest off in the distance. They looked around, seeing Thor already halfway to the forest, sprinting at full speed. They followed behind quickly. 

“Thor! Wait up!” Steve called. Clint sprinted, pulling ahead of them to grab Thor by his hoodie. Thor skidded to a stop, whipping around to face Clint, who bumped into him, almost sending both of them to the ground. It was several uncomfortable moments before everyone had caught up, panting and (more than slightly) winded. 

“Okay, I know we all _want_ to run into the woods to look for him, but we do need a plan first.” Steve said. Thor glare silently, seemingly less affected by the running then Bucky had been, but stayed silent, which was good enough for Steve. 

“Okay, so, um,... alright, You, Clint and Bucky can look in the woods, I’ll look the other direction, Sam you’re on hospitals and-” 

“I’m already calling the police stations and jails.” Nat interrupted, her phone in her hand. The impromptu cardio seemed to not bothered her as well. He really should get out more. 

“Perfect. We’ll meet back here in an hour, okay. If you find him use your emergency whistle and we’ll find you okay, and please, _please_ don’t get lost.” Steve practically begged. Before he could conclude his speech with something motivational, they were all off in different directions.

Bucky ran, sprinting North West (he hated that he knew that) in search of the teenager. “If I were a traumatized teenager where would I go.” He muttered. Luckily (ish) he had been one, so following that thought process wasn’t too difficult. He made his way to the giant bridge that was just _randomly in the woods in texas._ Hoping to find Loki nearby. 

He was not disappointed, and after about 15 minutes of stumbling around he found the bridge, and was happy to see a skinny figure perched on the railing. He was worried it might be another marriot, but he recognised his old hoodie-one he had outgrown a couple years ago and handed down- wrapped around the lanky frame. 

“Loki?” He asked cautery, inching forward. He gave a jerk, but didn’t turn to face him, handing his head low so his face was shielded with hair. 

“Hey, everyone's looking for you. Natasha got your call and we came down to make sure everything was fine.” He said, trying desperately to level his voice. Loki remained unresponsive, but didn’t move to stop him as he walked forward. It wasn’t until he was close enough to him that he saw the teens shoulders shaking, although it was hard to tell if it was from the cold or if he was crying. 

“Come down of the railing loki, please.” He said. He was almost within arms reach, he was just a _few steps away_ and he could- 

Loki turned to face him and whatever thought he had were completely wiped from him mind, the only thing is his head being _oh no oh no oh no._ Because Loki’s mouth was covered in blood. 

“Holy _shit_ Loki what happened? Are you okay? What _happened._ ” He rambled, moving directly in front of the kid and gripping his arm to keep both of them steady. Loki was definitely crying, but he raised an eyebrow, making Bucky smack his head. 

“Okay, taking might be hard, got that what- is that _thread_?” He yelled. Loki’s eyes darted away, fixating on the wooden floor of the bridge. He didn’t need an answer to tell you though. Loki had had his mouth sewn shut. 

“Who _did this_ I- never mind, here, I have a knife somewhere uh,” He reached into his pocket, grabbing the steak knife he had had the foresight to take with him and quickly whipped it on his jeans. You know, to keep it sterile. 

“Okay, this will probably hurt some, i’m really worried.” He said, before slicing through the thread. It was thin and broke easily, so he did as much as possible before pulling it out. Loki didn’t so much as flinch the whole time, although he did whimper slightly in a way that tore at his heart. It only took a few agonizing minutes before the thread was completely gone and had been chucked into the river below them. 

“I… thanks.” Loki whispered in a shaky voice, wincing as he spoke. Having set the knife down, Bucky allowed himself to crush Loki in a hug, which he had been wanting to do this whole time, trying to steady the shaking teen. Loki was crying in earnest now, burying himself against Bucky. 

Unwilling to make him move just yet, Bucky contented himself with sitting down on the old wood, pulling Loki along with him, and settling in. He knew what they had agreed on, but there was no way Loki could handle the rest of them, even without Bruce and Tony, so he just stayed put, carding a hand though the teenagers hair and thinking through what kind of explanation he would have to give Thor.

Bucky yawned and he shifted slightly. Loki has fallen asleep at some point, and after whatever they hell happened last night, he didn’t have it in him to wake him up just yet. His phone started buzzing next to him shortly, though, with a call from  **Demon Boy Scout** . 

“...hey, Steve,” he said hesitantly. 

“ _ Where are you? We still haven’t found Loki, you’re missing, and-”  _ Steve started, clearly having prepared a rant ahead of time. 

“I’ve got him,” Bucky said quietly. 

“ _ What _ ?” Steve asked. 

“I’ve got Loki here with me. But listen, he’s-” 

“Is he okay?” Steve asked, talking over him. 

“I mean, define okay…” Bucky said, eyeing the mess around the teens mouth. 

It definitely looked better without the thread in it, but it was still alarming and he was sure there were emotional scars attached as well. Plus, he was pretty sure the kid hadn’t slept since he’d left his house, whenever that was, based on the circles under his eyes and how quickly he had dropped off.

“Is he currently bleeding out?” Steve asked. 

Bucky could practically see Steve rubbing his eyes. 

‘Not...currently,” Bcuky said. 

“Okay, just please come back to where we were  _ supposed  _ to meet. I think Thor is gonna kill his family pretty soon. Er- the rest of them.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on my way,” he said, stretching. “See you in twenty.”

“Kay, watch for-”

“Marmots, I know.” 

“Bye, Bucky,” Steve said. 

“Bye.” 

He turned Loki over, trying to shake him awake. Loki grunted something and batted his hand away lazily. 

“Loki,  _ Loki,  _ you need to get  _ up _ ,” he said hurriedly. 

Sensing Loki wasn’t planning on waking up any time soon, he grabbed the teen, sort of half cradling him. He started sprinting, running in what he  _ hoped  _ was the right direction. He’d long since given up on trying to keep him asleep. Usually Loki was a light sleeper, and Bucky thought it should probably be concerning.

It didn’t take long for him to find his way back to the meeting place. It helped that they were sort of jumping and screaming a little bit. He ran over, wincing as he tripped slightly over a root on the forest floor, and jamming his arm into the tree. Ignoring the bruise that was undoubtedly forming on his arm, he raced towards his friends. 

“Is he okay? What-  _ holy shit what happened to his mouth _ ?” Clint asked, rushing forward with the others. 

Thor furrowed his eyebrows, standing on his toes to try and see. 

“Oh, Thor, that might not be the best-” Steve started. 

Unfortunately, before he could finish the sentence, let alone do anything to actually prevent it, Thor had seen Loki.

“I- Loki?” Thor asked. 

They all backed away slightly, giving Thor space. He walked carefully to his brother, who was still completely passed out. He swiftly grabbed him and walked back to where the driveway was. 

“Thor?” Steve asked, jogging to keep up.

“We’re going,” Thor said, yanking the door open and putting Loki inside. 

“Um…” 

“Get in. We’re leaving in two minutes. I’m getting his stuff,” Thor said, slamming the door shut. 

Not giving any of them time to argue, he walked back to the house. They looked at each other for a second before piling in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm evil. I have accepted it. Don't worry, it gets worse.


	28. I'm so sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, eat quickly. I want to get back before Monday,” Natasha said, burying herself in the corner of the booth as she cut up her lettuce wrap.   
> “We should make someone else drive. You’ve been driving most of the time,” Steve said.   
> “I’ll do it,” Thor said immediately. He actually liked driving, and it was a good way to keep an eye on Loki.   
> “Are you sure, Thor? I don’t mind,” Steve said.   
> Thor only nodded, eyeing his brother who had stayed just as silent as before.   
> “Well, that's fine with me,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you have any triggers around... bacicly anything, procide with caution

“What are  _ you  _ doing back?” Odin spat at Thor as he stormed across the dining room, making a beeline to the stairs, 

“Packing,” Thor said, his words clipped and angry. 

“Good riddance,” his father muttered into his scotch glass. Thor sighed angrily, almost growling as he started packing, running around his room and throwing things in a large garbage bag he had found on the floor. 

It didn’t take him long to get his own things. He just piled a few things he hadn’t thought to bring to college (mostly sports trophies) before running to Loki’s room. That gave him pause. He had no idea what his brother would want to keep and what would be pointless. In the end, he grabbed a few of his posters off his wall, a bunch of clothing, his phone cord, and the ukulele which Loki definitely  _ didn’t  _ practice every night, thank you very much. Storming back downstairs, he was ready to fling the door open and leave his parents behind when his father's voice cut through his thoughts. 

“Do you want to know  _ why, _ Thor? Why your precious, innocent little brother got kicked out?” 

“I don’t need your excuse. Knowing you is explanation enough,” Thor said angrily, his hand still on the doorknob. 

“Oh, is he back?” his mother asked, walking in from the bathroom door, sink still running. 

Sighing, Thor dropped the bag and walked back to turn the faucet off because he may be angry, but he wasn’t trying to kill the planet. 

“I was just telling him what happened with  _ poor baby Loki, _ ” Odin spat. 

Apparently his words made an impact because his mother instantly broke down in tears. It took more self control than Thor even knew he had to not run and comfort her, but right now, he needed to help Loki, and they had done nothing but hurt him. 

“Well, spit it out, then, and let me be on my way,” Thor said angrily. 

“Little Loki tried to  _ leave  _ us, Thor. Guess we weren't good enough family for him. Never could please that brat. Look at his arms. It’s obvious even when he was with you, he wasn’t happy. Guess he went too far this time.” 

Thor's stomach dropped. They couldn’t possibly mean to say… this was  _ Loki. _ Loki, the little kid who wore overalls and light up skechers to theater camp when he was eight, who teased him constantly for never being able to shake a Texas accent, as if Thor didn’t know Loki practiced to get rid of his own every night, and who had always tagged along in his adventures even when he was too small to keep up and Thor had to carry him. Loki… Loki would have told him. Talked to him, at least  _ texted  _ him if he felt that at all. 

“That’s a cruel joke, father.” 

“Why would I make something as disgusting as this up? I couldn’t dream this up if I tried.” 

And Thor saw red.

0o0o0o

Thor stalked out of his house with a huge bruise on his face and murder in his eyes carrying a large black trash bag. He threw it in the car silently before hopping into his seat, pulling Loki against him, and staring straight ahead. Natasha looked back from the driver’s seat, concerned, but otherwise didn’t comment and started to pull out. They were almost out of the driveway when a gunshot rang out, echoing frighteningly loud in the open air. 

“Was that a gun?” Steve asked, sitting up.

“Maybe it was just a starter gun?” Bucky said. 

“Nope. Or at least not like any they use on track,” Clints said. 

“We should go in and check,” Steve said. 

“Nope,” Thor said from the back seat where he’d pulled Loki into his lap. 

“Are you sure? There could have been a-“ Steve started. 

“I don’t care. Let’s go,” he said again. 

They exchanged glances before Natasha started to pull out slowly. 

“Maybe we should just…” Steve tried again. 

“You can go check. I’m not going back in there,” he said, leaning back. 

That was all the invitation Clint needed, as he ran back inside, forgoing the door for the window. Natasha sighed, scrubbing at the mud he had left on the seat with her thumb. 

As they waited for Clint, Steve turned around to face the scowling blonde. “What  _ happened _ in there?”

Thor just shrugged, glaring out the window, as if the sky had personally attacked him. 

“Loki’s going to stay at the dorms for a little while,” he said finally, twisting a hand in his brother’s hair. 

“Okay… how long is a ‘while’ going to be?” Steve asked, ever the RA. 

“Somewhere between a few weeks to forever, we’ll see,” Thor said. 

Steve raised his eyebrows, but otherwise didn’t comment, shifting around a little and checking his phone while waiting for Clint. It took maybe twenty minutes for the athlete to re-appear. 

“Was everything okay?” Natasha asked. 

Clint shook his head wordlessly before climbing into the passenger seat.

“No,” he said. 

Looking closer, it was clear something was bothering him. 

“Should we all go in?” she asked. 

“Definitely not,” he replied. 

“Does it have to do with Thor's parents?” she asked again. 

He nodded and she started pulling out of the driveway (for the third time) when Thor spoke again. 

“I spoke with my parents about why they fought with Loki,” he said. 

“Why?” Bucky asked, turning around in his seat. 

“I don’t know if they were lying or not…” he said carefully. “But they- they suggested he had… hurt himself.” 

The car went completely silent, staring at Thor, save Natasha, who was glaring at the road with bitter vengeance. 

“Is… is it true?” Steve asked finally. 

“I don’t know yet. I’ve been too scared to look,” Thor admitted, toying with Loki's hair some more, making loose braids before combing them out again.

“You know… his hoodie is awfully dirty,” Bucky said, looking at the sweatshirt in question. 

It was true. There were half-decomposed leaves clinging to the fabric, along with some weird twiggy things. 

“It does,” Thor said. 

“It would make perfect sense to remove it, just to keep him warm and everything,” Bucky said again. 

Thor finally got it, and his eyes widened as he looked at his friend. 

“Bucky, isn’t that an invasion of privacy?” Steve asked, aghast. 

“We’re just trying to look out for him. I’m sure that his hoodie’s soaked, and it would  _ suck  _ to get sick on top of everything that just happened,” Bucky proposed. 

Thor looked between his two friends, unsure of which to side with. 

“I mean, it’s up to you Thor,” Steve said, sensing his indecisiveness. “But I think it’s a bad idea.” 

This was Loki. 

“Let's take if off,” he said finally. 

“Thor, are you  _ sure _ ? If your parents are right, then-” Steve started, chewing on his lip. 

“Then I need to know right away,” Thor finished. “It’ll be fine, I’m sure.” 

Steve nodded his agreement to this, and Thor pulled the hoodie off easily. It was stretchy and somewhat baggy on his skinny brother, so it wasn’t difficult. Loki’s skin was pale against the dark fabric of his tee, almost frighteningly so, and without the warm fabric he started shaking almost instantly with contact to the cold air. His arms were wrapped around his waist, and suddenly, Thor was very sure this was a bad idea. 

Shaking his head, he wrapped a hand around his brothers wrist, twisting it gently so as to reveal the underside of his arm. He paused, staring at what he saw. Well over a hundred criss-crossing cuts lined his arm, overlapping and at various stages of healing. He stared for a long time, his brain not catching up to what he was seeing. At the bottom of each of his wrists where two deep cuts, about two inches long, which looked like they had been half-heartedly cleaned. 

“Oh  _ shit, _ Thor. Wha-” Bucky yelled, pulling himself up over the seat to lean above them. 

The question died in his throat. There wasn’t really any question about what had happened. Thor tore his gaze from his brothers arm to his face, twisted even while asleep.

“Oh, Loki,” he muttered, pulling him into his arms. 

“Thor, what happened?” Steve asked finally, looking at the pair for a long minute. 

“He fought with our parents. They saw his arms and sent him out into the woods. I don’t know what happened after that. It was all they knew,” Thor said through clenched teeth, staring out the window. “I told them he isn’t coming back, and neither am I.” 

“Good job, Thor.” Steve said, finally, before turning around and leaning back on Bucky. Thor just nodded, adjusting his grip on Loki, covering him with Steve’s jacket to act as a blanket and allowing his mind to drift.

0o0o0o

It was several hours before Loki woke up, shifting against Thor, while remaining completely silent.

“Loki?” Thor asked, suddenly awake. 

His brother lifted his head, blinking slowly at him. 

“Loki, you’re awake!” He said happily. 

“He’s up?” Natasha asked, looking at them through the rear view. 

She seemed to be the only one able to remain awake. Clint had somehow managed to sprawl across Nat from the passenger side, Bucky and Steve where snoring on each other, and Sam had his ear buds in and eyes closed. Whether or not he was asleep was lost to them. 

“I… think so. Loki?” Thor asked again, jostling his brother. 

Loki nodded, looking at him drowsily. 

“Yeah, he’s awake.”

“Loki, how you feelin?” Natasha asked, looking back briefly. 

He shrugged, drawing his knees up to his chest.

“Does your mouth still hurt? Should we take you to a hospital?” Thor asked, looking at Loki’s injury. 

Having cleaned it off with Steve’s first aid kit, it looked much better and had stopped bleeding a while ago. 

Loki shook his head, staring down at the seat. Natasha looked back at them briefly before re-focusing on the road. Thor frowned at his brother who seemed a little worse for the wear. He was shaking, visible even in the dull light. His hair was hanging over his face, making his eyes seem larger somehow as he stared at Thor, tracking every micro movement. Loki looked down at his bare arms, then back at Thor, scooting away slightly, eyes wide. It took Thor a moment to realize what his brother was thinking, but his heart sank when he did.

“You’re gonna stay with us for a while, okay, Loki? Like, maybe forever,” he said, reaching his hand forward to his brother. 

Loki stared at his outstretched hand for awhile, clearly uncomfortable. 

“It’s… it’ll be okay. Come on, Loki, we’ll be fine. I’m old enough, I’ll be your guardian, and you’ll have Bucky and Steve and Nat and everyone nearby in case anything happens, and you’re never going back in that house as long as I’m around, okay?” he asked. 

Thor hadn’t realized tears had been rolling down his own cheeks as he spoke until one one hit the seat, darkening the fabric. Loki still remained silent, pressing himself into the door further. 

“Loki please, we’re safe,” he begged. 

Something about that must have broken Loki, because he inched forward into Thor’s grip, where he was promptly held hostage. He clung onto his brother, who was still shaking in his hold, making him think it wasn’t the cold affecting him. Several moments of silence passed before he realized his brother was crying against him. 

“Hey, no no no, don’t cry, it’ll be alright, you’re just never ever going back ever, and you could do school online or, uh, do Running Start, or, um, I bet there’s high schools near MIT. And uh, you won’t have to ever go back to Texas again, okay? And I know it’ll kinda suck. We still don’t have a  _ bed  _ or anything, but, uh, we’ll figure it out. Maybe we have a sleeping bag or something,” he rambled, trying desperately to calm his brother down before whatever happened got worse. 

Loki remained quiet for a long time, pressed against his brother as the van bounced on the highway.

O0o0 

Thor woke up as soon as someone said food. It was a power they had all developed at some point during their friendship. It took him a moment to remember where he was, confused as to why he was in the car until he saw his brother collapsed against him. He heard a chuckle and looked up, seeing Clint laughing for some reason. 

“Hey Thor, sleep well?” Clint chuckled. Thor tilted his head at him, still too sleepy to make much sense of what was so amusing. 

“...yes. Where are we?” 

“Somewhere in Missouri. We’re getting food. You want any?” Clint asked, still grinning. 

“Yes! Where are we getting it from?” he asked. 

Clint shrugged. 

“I dunno, I woke up a couple seconds ago- hey Nat, where are we getting food from?” Clint asked. 

She rolled her eyes before swinging into a McDonald’s parking lot, followed by cheering from the others. At this point, everyone but Loki and Bucky had woken up. Thor simply shook his brother, alerting him to their location, but Steve seemed to be taking a different route.

“ _ Bucky _ !” Steve yelled. 

Clint followed it up by pouring water out on Bucky’s face. He sorta blinked and sat up slowly. 

“Wha’?” he asked. 

“Food,” Nat said simply, opening the car door and stepping out. 

Bucky excitedly followed, although still clearly groggy.

They piled into the restaurant, most of them grumbling sleepily as Nat ordered for them. Everyone had each other’s orders down well, save for Clint’s because he insisted on trying something different every time they went somewhere, but he seemed happy with the chicken nuggets that had been ordered for him. 

“Okay, eat quickly. I want to get back before Monday,” Natasha said, burying herself in the corner of the booth as she cut up her lettuce wrap. 

“We should make someone else drive. You’ve been driving most of the time,” Steve said. 

“I’ll do it,” Thor said immediately. He actually liked driving, and it was a good way to keep an eye on Loki. 

“Are you sure, Thor? I don’t mind,” Steve said. 

Thor only nodded, eyeing his brother who had stayed just as silent as before. 

“Well, that's fine with me,” Nat said, taking a bite. 

Thor smiled, looking between her and his brother. 

He hated to admit it, but the fact that Loki hadn’t spoken, had just been so  _ silent _ … it scared him. Loki was usually always talking, even when completely inappropriate. Last time there had been a fire in their house, they’d been trapped together in the attic. They still had no idea who started the fire or how, but they found out an awful lot of concerning things about choir retreat. Now his brother was completely caved in on himself, curling around his own body and actively trying to hide from them, pressed between Thor and the wall at the booth, which they still tried to fit all of them in, and hardly eating. He was currently picking at an order of fries with minimal interest, and his lips stayed pressed together. 

They ate as quickly as humanly possible, which apparently was very quick, because they finished in almost seven minutes flat and hurried back to the car, drinks still in hand. Natasha and Clint moved silently to the backseat, allowing Thor and Loki the front, and they pulled out. Clearly Loki had been pretty tired because he slumped against the window almost instantly, already asleep, which is when Steve cleared his throat. 

“You know we need to talk with him about what happened, right, Thor?” Steve said. 

Thor didn’t respond, instead focusing on driving as smoothly as possible. 

“And we’re going to need to suicide proof the dorms.” 

That caught Thor’s attention. He looked at his brother instantly before remembering the road in front of them and swerving slightly to stay on course. 

“I… I guess so.”

Everything about it just felt so  _ wrong.  _ Somehow it hadn’t even occurred to him that Loki might try anything at the dorm rooms. After all, he still felt like maybe if he got him out, away from Texas and their crazy family, it would fix everything and Loki could go back to normal. 

“Thor? Are you okay?” Steve asked, leaning over. 

“Does anyone have any handcuffs?” he said in lieu of an answer. 

Steve blinked at him, confused. 

“No- I… why would any of us need-or have-handcuffs?” Steve asked. 

Before he could explain his train of thought, Natasha tossed a pair right at the back of his head. He barely managed to move away in time, letting them fall into the drink holder next to him. 

“Thor…?” 

He fashioned one link to his own wrist, unfortunately the right one, and the other to his brother’s. 

“There, suicide proofed.” 

“That's definitely an illegal way to drive,” Sam said, raising an eyebrow. 

Thor just shot back a glare, effectively shutting the other up. He wasn’t going to take a single chance if it risked his brother’s safety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sobbing*


	29. The Peace Lily Plant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little chap. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I hate school, enjoy my procrastination.

Thor finally pulled into the college parking lot, sighing as he put the minibus into park. His wrist was already aching from pulling on the silver cuffs around his wrist, and he could see a red line already forming. It occurred to him then, that getting out of the car would be a little difficult to get out of the car. He twisted his arm around slightly, trying to figure out the logistics of how to escape when Nat sat up, he assumed she had felt the car stop, and blinked in the light. 

“How is he?” She asked, looking at the teenager. 

“He hasn’t woken up the whole time.” He said, staring at his brother. He never slept in the car. 

“We’ll handle the inside of the dorm, you just make sure he’s alright.” She said sadly, reaching up and patting his arm, which was resting between the two of them. He smiled half-heartedly at her when Nats phone lit up, the classic ringtone playing. She picked up, not caring about her sleeping friends, furrowing her brow at whatever was being said. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked. 

“That was Bruce, apparently Tony is causing living hell for everyone at the hospital. I-I’ve gotta go um, but I’ll make sure everyone takes care of the dorm, okay?” she said. 

Thor nodded his understanding and she bolted out the door, slamming it behind her. He winced at the noise, rattling the car. Steve bolted up at the noise, sitting straight up, banging his head on the window on accident. “Wazzapining?” He muttered. 

“Natasha went to go help Bruce with Tony at the hospital. She was a bit… enthusiastic too leave.” He said quietly, hand still on the key. He nodded sleepily, seeming to understand. 

“That sounds about right.” He said. “Are you gonna be able to get out with the …” He gestured to the hand that was handcuffed to his brother. 

“I should be able to. I’ll just climb through his door.” He said, looking at the teen, who was still curled tightly.

“Okay. We’ll go uh, we’ll go fix the dorms for him. Can you, just like… stay here?” Steve asked, ready to dart off. Thor nodded his permission, and Steve slowly opened the door and stumbled out. He turned back to look at the rest of their friends. 

“No way are they making me do this alone.” He muttered before waking them up (which took quite a while) and forcing them to go outside with him. Once the car was empty, Thor took on the task of waking his brother up. 

“Loki?” He asked, shaking his brother slightly. Loki only muttered, turning around a bit. He had never been easy to wake up. “Loki, it is time to get up now.” He said. 

Loki blinked his eyes open and looked at Thor confused for a moment. Thor couldn’t help but grin at his success. “Good morning Loki, er- night I guess.” He said. 

Loki remained silent, his eyes drifting down the handcuffs on his wrist. His expression quickly changed to one of alarm, examining the restraints, but not pulling on them yet. His gaze flicked back to Thor, and he immediately felt guilty for how little he had told him. 

“I am sorry about that Loki, I just… I don’t want you to hurt yourself, and I won’t take any chances.” He said. The justification sounded weak, even to his own ears. Loki just looked at him, maintaining his frightened expression. 

“Loki, do you remember when we were young kids? Back before Hela left home?” He asked, Loki nodded and he continued. “I remember one say, the three of us where playing in the guardian, you know how we would all run around and pick the plants to make ‘potions’. You loved that game, always making the prettiest concoctions and dreaming up what they did.” 

Loki smiled at the memory, bittersweet as it was. “Well, there was a day when we were playing that game, and Hela…” He paused to collect himself. Years later and it still made him angry. “She picked the Peace Lily mother grew inside. At the time she was obsessed with Botany, as where you I believe, so she knew what it did. She tricked you, mixing it with water and then switching your cup. We had to go to the hospital for hours, remember that?” He asked. Loki nodded more hesitant. 

“I know I do, I doubt I will ever forget it. I was so angry when I found out I went outside and beat up our garbage cans, just to take the anger out on  _ something _ .” He said, pausing. “But once I had, once I had thoroughly destroyed the cans so they could hold little more than a piece of paper, I hadn’t helped you at all, you were still just as sick, but with me outside, you were also alone.” He said, taking his brother's hand. “I promise I won’t get angry with you Loki, I swear on my life, but I need you to tell me what happened. Can you do that?” 

Loki stared for a long time, trying to judge his brothers words, before finally opening his mouth. “...Okay.” 

“Loki, what did you and out parents fight about?” He asked. He knew enough to piece things together, but he wanted his brother's side of the story as well.

“You’ve seen my arms. It was about that.” Was Loki's response. It honestly shocked Thor slightly. Loki preferred to launch into a monologue about what had happened, usually horribly fabricating the details of the story, He never worked in short sentences. 

“I still don’t understand brother. Why? Why wouldn’t you talk to me? I don’t know what I can do to help you, but there must be something.” 

“I don’t know Thor.” Loki all but whispered. He backed off, sensing that this wasn’t the way to get through to his brother. 

“What happened after you left? Where did you go?” 

“I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t have my phone so I went to find a payphone. Hela found me first.” He said, fiddling with his sleeve. Thor covered his brothers hands with his own larger one, worrying about the gashes beneath the fabric. 

“What did dad say to you?” He asked finally. Loki looked at him for a long moment before turning away, leaving the question unanswered. 

“Loki, please. I already… exchanged words with our father, you won’t be going back there. I just want to know so I can help  _ you _ . Trust me Loki.” He said. 

Loki looked at him long and hard, almost visibly weighing his options. He continued fiddling, making Thor tighten his grip on his hands, trying desperately to keep them still. “...It happened late at night.” Loki said finally, keeping his eyes away from Thor. 

“Okay, it was too late.” He restated. 

“I had…” He gestured to his arms haphazardly/ “And they found me. Dad got super upset.” 

“Okay…” Thor said. “Why was he upset?” 

“He… I don’t know, I guess he didn’t like what I did, but… he said…” Loki trailed off, his eyes flickering to something out the window. 

“What did he say Loki?” Thor said, his concern instantly doubling. 

“He said not to do anything like that half-assed. That if I was going to kill myself then to go do it, but he didn’t want the mess in his house.” Loki whispered, pulling his knees up on the seat. 

Thor knew he promised to not be angry, and he wasn't… with Loki, but he swore that if either of their parents where there he wouldn’t hesitate to pummel either of them. 

“Oh Loki. And mom did nothing?” He asked quietly, petting his brothers hair lightly. 

“No. She stood there crying but said nothing until I went to leave.” Loki said quietly. 

“What did she say then?” Thor asked, worried. 

“That she should have known her last good child would turn on her like the others.” He muttered, almost too quiet to hear, into his sleeve, looking at Thor with anticipation. 

Rather than responding, Thor grabbed his brother, pulling him tightly against him for several minutes. To his surprise, Loki didn’t fight the hug, but actually leaned into it more, readily accepting of the affection.

“Don’t worry Loki, we will be alright. I will make sure of it.” He reassured. 

0o0o0o

Once the dorm had been thoroughly searched and approved by the others, Thor climbed out (a bit awkwardly he might add) of the car, Loki in tow. The handcuffs rubbed uncomfortably against his wrist, and it was shocking to him that Loki hadn’t even acknowledged them yet. Unfortunately, their conversation seemed to be an exception of some kind, because as soon as they walked through the doors, he clammed up again, and Thor had a feeling that this time it would be harder to break threw to him.

Of course, that by no means ment the dorm was quiet. Steve was running around unscrewing light bulbs because they apparently counted as a hazard in the article he found on line while Sam followed him, re-screwing them because the room was pitch black. Clint was on the phone with one of his relatives, and sounded like he was talking them through a breakdown of some kind (Thor wasn’t going to ask questions, but he did hear Clint instruct someone to put down the knife) Bucky was pulling weapons out of places that really  _ shouldn’t  _ have held weapons (i.e. the toaster) and the rest of them were nowhere to be found.

Thor had been planning on talking with the rest of them, but then he remembered, oh hey, still handcuffed, so he opted to go to his room and hopefully keep Loki relatively happy. The teenager was happy to comply, following Thor out of the living room and to the disaster that was his dorm. Loki raised an eyebrow while stepping over a box of ancente pizza, but otherwise didn’t comment. 

“You wanna watch a movie?” Thor asked, plotting on his bed and inadvertently dragging Loki with him. Loki nodded and he grabbed the laptop that he’d  _ borrowed  _ from his sister when they were teenagers, and pulled up Stranger Things, figuring it would be a safe bet. Loki smiled slightly as the intro played, so he supposed he had guessed right. 

They stayed up well past midnight finishing the season. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brotherly love!   
> So I wanted to address just a few things real quick.   
> 1\. Yes, Peter will be in this story, but I have several things lined up before we get to him.   
> 2\. I SWEAR THEY DO FIND OUT WHO TONY IS I JUST TAKE A VERY LONG TIME ON THESE THINGS  
> 3\. I know this isn't all that accurate to the MCU, but this is my own interpretation of the characters outside of superhero-ing.   
> 4\. I am well aware I am actually evil, but hearing it in comments still makes me smile. (mwahaha)   
> 5\. I have dysgraphia, so I will struggle with grammar and spelling. I have a Beta-reader (aka my sister) but I will still make mistakes. Also, I'm 14, and still learning some of the more complicated grammar rules.   
> Thank you for reading, and as always, comments make my day!!


	30. Tony's disturbing under drugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s probably just tired,” Nat said. 
> 
> “No, Natasha listen to me, he’s weird like this Natasha. To charming and happy. He hasn’t said anything about science sense we got here, I just… I don’t like it.” He said, struggling for words. 
> 
> “Okay okay, I’ll watch out for him. You should probably go home. I’ll stay here with him for a little while.” she said with a smile. 
> 
> “Thank you,” he said, relieved to leave Tony behind. 
> 
> “Oh, and hey,” She said. “Send Clint over here.” 
> 
> “Fine.” He said, rubbing a hand over his face. “But I hope I’m not sending him to his grave.”
> 
> She just laughed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!!!

Bruce had been in the hospital with Tony for a day and a half, and he was currently trying to figure out if he could strangle himself with a cannula. Tony had thankfully slept through most of the first day, but now that he was awake, he was raising hell on earth. He didn’t know what happened, because he wasn’t even acting as someone would be  _ expected  _ to act on painkillers. He wasn’t groggy or ridiculous or even violent… he was being  _ perfect _ . 

Tony hardly slept once he woke up first, and while he was awake he was nothing but smiles and complements and informed questions about the nurse's life, both in and out of the hospital, but he wasn’t being Tony, he was being Antony Stark and it scared him. He was the perfect patient and it was so unnerving that Bruce often found himself stepping out for several minutes at a time so he could seem less out off. When Natasha arrived he was taking one of these breaks, lapping around the ward for the sixth time.

“Hey Bruce, where’s Tony?” She asked, adjusting the strap on her bag. She seemed exhausted, her hair wasn’t pin straight like normal, but it isn't natural waves around her shoulders, and her eyes were rimmed with dark circles, visible beneath her makeup. 

“He’s in room 17,” he said, and she turned around, beelining to his room. “Wait, Nat, there’s something you should know.” He said. 

She turned around expectantly, tapping her foot. “He’s… well… I don’t know what happened to him, but he’s  _ strange  _ Nat.” Bruce said. 

“Well he’s probably on pain meds.” She said. 

“No, it’s not that… you’ll see.” He said. 

She walked into the room and he followed, bracing himself to face Tony again. He smiled at their presence, closing whatever textbook he had been reading. “Hey Tony!” Nat said, striding towards his bed to hug him, careful of his injuries. 

“Natasha!” He said happily. She shot him a confused look, asking with her face if not her words what was wrong with Tony. Bruce just shook his head. 

“I was so sorry to leave you, but we had an emergency with Loki.” She explained. Tony nodded sympithedicly. 

“I understand, I saw it happen on my phone.” Tony explained. Nat grimminced. 

“I keep forgetting you can do that.” Natasha said.

“Yeah, I saw everything with Loki and his mom and-” 

“What happened with his mom?” Natasha asked. Tony flicked his gaze between Bruce and Nat. 

“Did Clint not tell you?” He asked. Natasha shook her head. 

“What would he have told us.” Nat asked. 

“You should just go talk to him.” Tony said, unwilling to share the information. She glared at him for a while, and Tony tried to change the subject. 

“So-” 

“You have the footage on your phone, right?” Natasha asked. Tony laughed and nodded. 

“I guess I do, but it’s really not a good idea, and besides, the footage might be a little… disturbing.”

“Let me see.” She demanded. 

“Natasha, I know-” 

“Don’t bullshit me, I need to see that photage right away Tony.” She said firmly. Tony looked uncomfortable, but smiled pleasantly anyway. 

“If you think that’s what's best, but-” 

“I do.” She said firmly. Tony nodded.

Fingers flying across his phone, Tony pulled op the footage in a few moments, rewinding it from the live feed to about a day ago. “This is right after Thor stormed out. I canceled the sound so as to not bother the staff.” Tony explained. 

Natasha starred along with Bruce while the video played. It was from a high corner in the house, only showing half of Thor's father, but his mom was in full view. She appeared to be screaming, waving around a gun for a while, before leveling it to her temple. 

“Wai-” Bruce started. 

The mom pulled the trigger and Tony clicked it off a second later, just in time to see Clint run in and the father take a sip of coffee, or more likely whiskey. 

“Oh, oh my goodness she…” Natasha said, staring at the blank screen. Tony nodded sadly. 

“Clint called an ambulance before leaving.” He said. “Not that he really could have done much.

“He  _ knew _ .” She said, smacking a hand to her forehead, and turned to walk out the door. Tony just waved and turned back to his phone, probably doing something disturbing he didn’t want to know about. Bruce followed the redhead out into the hallway. 

“Wait Nat?” He asked, touching her elbow to get her attention.

“Yeah?” She asked. 

“Didn’t Tony seem weird to you?” He asked. 

“Weird how?” She asked. 

“Dead inside.” He replied. She snorted, glancing back at the room. It half a joke. Something about him had seemed wrong, and it wasn’t the pain. He had been like that constantly, but at the same time, charming all the nurses and keeping them too busy to notice what was wrong about him. Aside from everything feeling off though, something else was different. With the smiling and laughing and the lack of crazy science talk… he just didn’t like it. 

“He’s probably just tired,” Nat said. 

“No, Natasha listen to me, he’s  _ weird _ like this Natasha. To charming and happy. He hasn’t said anything about science sense we got here, I just… I don’t like it.” He said, struggling for words. 

“Okay okay, I’ll watch out for him. You should probably go home. I’ll stay here with him for a little while.” she said with a smile. 

“Thank you,” he said, relieved to leave Tony behind. 

“Oh, and hey,” She said. “Send Clint over here.” 

“Fine.” He said, rubbing a hand over his face. “But I hope I’m not sending him to his grave.”

She just laughed. 

0o0o0o

“Hello?” Clint asked, walking into the waiting room hesitantly. Bruce had said Nat was upset, although he wouldn’t elaborate, and the best course of action would be to get there as fast as possible. 

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Natasha asked, appearing right in front of him a second later. 

“Tell who what?” He asked bewildered. 

“Thor.” She said, looking at him expectantly. 

“About…” 

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe his mother killing herself while his father watched.” she said, glaring at him with her piercing stairs. 

“I… it’s just that… well here’s the thing I… um…” He stuttered. “With Loki and… we… the car and we where it just… um we…” 

“Clint.” she said. He felt cold all over, under her glare. 

“I was worried it would make everything worse and I was just trying to keep everyone safe and in my defence Thor did already disown them so I felt less bad about it, but I still feel kinda bad about it and I just didn’t know what to do and I really didn’t want to ruin everything and I’m sorry.” He said in one stuttering breath. 

“I hate to admit it, but that was probably smart. Or at least less stupid.” she said, continuing to glare at him. He cocked his head as he gazed back. She seemed angry when he first walked in, but as he looked closer, she was running a finger over her own pulse point, something she always did when really nervous or stressed. She had clearly been doing it for a while, because the skin around it was red and irritated. Taking a risk, to take a step closer. 

“What are you doing?” She asked as he approached. 

“Hugging you.” He said, wrapping his arms around her. She paused for a moment, before reciprocating. 

“That’s a strange choice.” She muttered. He laughed a little at that. 

“Not really, you’re my best friend.” He said back. 

“Not Bucky?” She asked, making a move to pull away. He didn’t let her. Getting to hug Natasha was a rare luxury, and he savored it when he could.

“No, Bucky’s my partner in crime,  _ you’re  _ my favorite human in this whole world. Totally different.” He assured. She laughed and he finally released her, reluctant as it may be. 

Now that she wasn’t yelling, she looked completely worn out, sagging a little, although still keeping her posture perfect. Just more… relaxed. Like she had softened around the edges. Her hands shook slightly as she brushed her hair away from her face, which was beautifully wavy after going without heat for a day or two, and caught the light. He was pretty sure only Natasha could look healthier in a hospital. 

“How’s Tony?” He asked. 

“ I don’t know. Bruce was creeped out by him, and at first I thought he was overreacting but now… I don't know.” She said. “He’s very… charismatic.” She said slowly. “But off. I don’t know how to phrase it, he reminds me of his father.” 

“Not a good thing I presume?” He asked. 

She just laughed, shaking her head at him. “No, definitely not a good thing. The pain doesn't bother him even a little bit though, so I suppose that’s good.” She said. 

“Seems strange to not be bothered by it after a surgery like this, doesn't it?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” She said slowly. “But Tony’s strange, so it’s in keeping with him.” 

That much was definitely true. The freshman was some kind of freak of nature. He didn’t know what caused kids to turn out like he had, but he wasn’t convinced either science or magic wasn’t involved. He was still pretty sure Tony had found a way around sleeping, period. And eating if his size was anything to go by, the guy was tiny. 

“That’s definitely true.” He looked at her for a second longer before making a decision. “Why don’t you go home.” He said. 

“Why?” She asked, ever weary of him, even after ten years. 

“Because you look like you might drop to the floor any second, and I have had almost enough coffee to rival Tony at this point.” He said. 

She still looked suspicious, like he might have an ulterior motive, but nevertheless sagged with relief. “Okay, but don’t let Tony start a riot or anything while I’m gone.” She said slowly, making him grin. 

“If there’s a riot, I promise I will be the one to start it, not Tony.” He assured. 

“And I’ll send someone over here to swap with you once everyone has cleared things up a bit.” She said again. He just laughed, hugging her lightly. 

“We’ll be fine. You should go while you can still drive.” He said. She chuckled, but finally turned around. 

“Bye Clint.” She said on her way out, flinging the door to the stairwell wide.

“Bye Nat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello   
> thank you for reading  
> I am failing at life but passing my classes   
> send food and reviews.   
> thank you


	31. Oh no Tony...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I could have been anyone Tony, there’s no way I’m letting you get put in that situation again.” She said, reaching out to catch his arm and pin it to his side, forcing him to look at her. He had only been released from the hospital five days ago, and it wasn’t until now that Clint wasn’t sitting next to his side with the damn bow making sure he slept, and honestly she was kinda missing the bow right now. 
> 
> “Well, then thank goodness you don’t have a say.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. Am. So. Tired. 
> 
> But PLEASE enjoy this! It's setting a lot up!

“Absolutely not,” Natasha said, following Tony as he packed. “You’re still supposed to be on bed rest, no way in  _ hell  _ am I allowing you back there.” 

“What do you want to do Natasha, call my dad and be like ‘Sorry, but I got a better offer, please ignore me and don’t sue my friends until they can’t see straight, thanks’? Because that won’t work.” He shot back, stuffing things from his lab mindlessly into his duffle bag. 

“It doesn't sound like the worst idea in the world.” She said angrily. 

“Well, then you  _ clearly  _ don’t know my parents.” He said,

“I know them well enough to know that when I promised you were never going back to that house I meant it. Shit, Tony, your father left you completely tied to a table, willing to give directions to anyone that asked. Do you have any idea how  _ dangerous  _ that was?” 

“Given the fact that it happened to me? A pretty damn good one.” 

“I could have been  _ anyone  _ Tony, there’s no way I’m letting you get put in that situation again.” She said, reaching out to catch his arm and pin it to his side, forcing him to look at her. He had only been released from the hospital five days ago, and it wasn’t until now that Clint wasn’t sitting next to his side with the damn bow making sure he slept, and honestly she was kinda missing the bow right now. 

“Well, then thank goodness you don’t have a say.” He shot back. “Don’t worry about me, okay Nat. I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember.” 

“You mean hiding your injuries and lying about your age to wealthy stuck up snobs and trophy wives so they give you alcohol?” She asked. He simply raised an eyebrow. 

“You should be worried about Loki right now Nat. Has he even said a word since you brought him back?” It was a desperate attempt to divert her attention, she knew that. And yet… 

She sighed, lowering her head into her hands. “No.” 

“See, put your energy there,” Tony instructed, trying to twist out of her grip pitifully. It was hard to remember sometimes just how much  _ smaller _ a 15-year-old is then a 19-year-old, even when that 19-year-old is Natasha. He couldn’t be taller than 5’6, maybe 5' 7. maybe. 

“But, Loki has Thor and everyone else keeping an eye on him 24/7. Nobody knows about your home aside from me and Loki, and if you want it to stay that way then you need to  _ listen  _ to me, Tony.” She said, not releasing his wrist. It was true, everyone had been practically smothering the other teenager. Poor Bruce was so full of good intentions and poor execution, it physically hurt the first time he ‘tried’ to hug Loki. It took a good 12 minutes. 

“Natasha, if I don’t show up then my father will either A) think I am trying to break from the family and leak it to the press, B) activate the death chip or C) Claim  _ you  _ kidnapped me and come in guns a-blazing. Forgive me if I don’t favor any of those options.” He said, 

“Tony? Tony, what the hell is a death chip?” She asked, tightening her grip on the teenager. 

“Don’t worry, I’m working on an antidote.” He said by way of an explanation. 

“What? No, but-” Surely she didn’t need to explain why a  _ death chip _ worried her. 

“It’s fine, everything’s under control.” He reassured her, moving to usher her out of his ‘lab’. 

“Tony, I’m just not going to let you go back home. That's it.” She said, “I spoke with both of your parents, your dads a drunk genius at best, Dr. Frankenstine at worst, and your mom was convinced we had been friends since  _ before you were born Tony _ .” She said, emphasizing the last bit. 

“Okay, I can see how, if you’re not used to them-” 

“No, you don’t ‘get used to that’ you just develop Stockholm syndrome.” She said firmly. Tony opened his mouth to argue the point, but she tightened her grip on his arm. “I don’t care. Send them an email or something.” She said, “But you  _ aren't  _ going back.” 

“That’s not for you to decide Natasha,” Tony said, his voice icy. 

“I meant what I said after thanksgiving Tony.” Was all she said. 

“I’m not putting all of you in danger so I can feel a little safer,” Tony yelled, a hint of desperation in his voice. 

“Tony, you're shorter than Loki, right?” She asked, barely waiting for a nod before continuing. “And I know for a fact you weigh less, you look like a starved baby bird,” he made a noise of protest at that, but she continued anyway. “And we’ve handcuffed him to Thor for his own good without any problem.” 

“Without-Natasha He tried chewing through his own wrist yesterday!” Tony interpreted. 

“Yeah, And He failed. My point is we can make you come, either way, Tony.” She said menacingly before swiftly removing herself from the room, not wanting to elaborate. 

Tony sighed and lowered his head into his hands, trying to rub away the pounding headache that had taken residence there. This was going to be a long couple of weeks. 

0o0o0o 

“A  _ what _ ?” Steve asked, head snapping up from his textbook to stair at Natasha, who was seated on the sofa, shooting a half-hearted glare at Clint, who was doing  _ something  _ with her hair from his perch on the arm. 

“I don’t know Steve. He said Death Chip and wouldn’t elaborate. I think his father is involved somehow but…” She trailed off shrugging. 

“What do you mean he ‘wouldn’t’. If his father has a Death Chip in his brain we need to, I dunno, figure out how to stop it or something.” Steve said. Bruce banged a pot really loudly in the kitchen a few moments before sticking his head in. 

“ ‘M sorry, what?” He asked, still holding a wooden spoon. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Natasha said. “Listen, Steve, that’s not the point I’m trying to make. I’m just saying if whatever Tony was talking about was real, and I think it was, then you can’t send his father  _ death threats _ .” 

“I mean, it worked with Bucky,” Clint said, tugging slightly on Nat’s hair, making her elbow him sharply. 

Bruce rolled his eyes, seeming to decide his investment in Tony's wellbeing wasn’t worth his pasta and returned to the kitchen. 

“To be fair,” Steve started. “We never proved his mother wasn’t mailing those letters herself.” Steve started. 

“Please not this again.” Natasha moaned, leaning her head back. 

“Hey! You’re gonna destroy my masterpiece!” Clint yelped, tipping her head back. 

“Your masterpiece is gonna tangle my hair.” she retorted but kept her head still nevertheless. 

Several minutes of silence passed before the timer on Bruce’s phone chimed, signaling the food, making everyone shoot up in varying degrees of interest. Thor was practically dragging Loki by their handcuffs, despite his nonverbal protests, Tony walked in with the chicken robot close behind, and Bucky appeared seemingly out of nowhere. 

“I smell food,” Bucky said, tying his crazy black hair into a bun. 

“Of course you do, you’re a bloodhound when it comes to-”

Steve's comeback was interrupted with a deafening bang, making them all scamper away from the sound. Steve grabbed Bucky and Tony, the two closest to him, and ducked down under the table.Thor ran straight at the noise after trying to shove Loki out of the way-which didn’t work as well as it would have without the handcuffs- and Bruce didn’t move. Natasha was nowhere near them, much to Clint's concern. “ _ Everyone down! Everyone get down!”  _ An unknown voice screamed. 

“Thor!” Steve hissed at the blond. “Get back here!” 

Thor paused, seeming to realize he was still shackled to his brother a little too late and started to retreat when one of the unknown figures grabs him, holding a giant gun to his head. 

“ _ Everyone stay back!”  _ The man shouted again. Steve's hand tightened on Tony's sweater, making what Tony was  _ trying  _ to do much harder than it needed to be. 

“Steve, let go,” Tony commanded, his voice icy and even. Not knowing what he was doing, Steve’s hand released the hoodie. 

“Oh no,” Loki said flatly, stepping between his brother and the gun. “Please don’t shoot me. That would be totally counter-productive to my intentions right now.” Loki said, much to his brother's horror. 

“Loki! Step aside right now! I will not let-” Thor started. 

“Shut up.” The second masked man commanded, pressing another gun to Thor's back. Both brothers stiffened, both seeming more worried for the safety of the others.

“Thor?” Loki whispered. 

“I said shut up.” The first man whispered. He seemed to be the leader of the group, standing with more authority and giving hand gestures of commands to his friends. 

“Yeah, our group is really bad at that,” Bruce said. “Do you want some pasta? My friends can’t appreciate my alfredo sauce.” 

The third man cocked his head as if considering, before the leader fired a gunshot above Bruce's head, making the man flatten himself against the floor on instinct. “We are looking for Tony Stark.” the leader said. 

“What do you want him for?” Bucky asked, unable to mask the surprise in his voice. It was hard to think of what could warrant this for Tony. 

“What- do you know who he-” The second man started, it seemed safe to assume they were men based on height and voices. 

Before he could finish Tony stepped directly in their line of sight, skillfully maneuvering between the gun and the brothers with a smile. “Heard you were looking for me.” HE said. 

“Come on Stark, we’re on a time crunch.” The first one said, pressing the gun deeply into their friends' back. 

Natasha seemed to have gone into the vents, because she dropped down at that, her red hair flying everywhere. The second man reacted instantly, firing a shot only an inch away from her chest. 

“Ah shit, Jerry you crewed the whole thing up!” The third yelled. “The security will be here any minute.”

“What, I didn’t know you could keep women in the ceiling, sue me.” the second, Jerry replied. Tony muttered something that sounded an awful lot like ‘I will be’, but then the first one started talking again. 

“Come on, we’re out of here.” He said, moving backward and dragging Tony.

“No.” Nat said, stepping forward.”Do what you want to us, but you’re gonna leave Tony behind.” She spoke with complete confidence, although her posture was tense. She stepped towards the attackers again, making them step back, the first one pressed his gun to Tony's head instead of his back, and Tony’s expression flickered momentarily before he masked it again. 

“Oh come on Natasha, I’ll be fine,” Tony said. “I’m sure you guys are going to feed me very well, right?” He asked, earning a harsh strike with the butt of a gun. 

“ _ Tony! _ ” Steve screamed, unnerved by the power of the strike. 

“Nugtthh,” Tony grunted. 

“Come on pretty boy, time to go.” The first kidnapper said, backing out and slamming the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired and sick and have a ton of homework, but I passed my test (ish) so YAY!! 
> 
> Please review, it makes me so happy! 
> 
> (Also, how the hell did I make it to chapter 31? I feel like I just started it, and I still have so much I want to write!!!)


	32. We're going on a trip in our favorite VW mini bus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ekk!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!!

“Come on.” The leader grunted, throwing Tony in the back of the white van. A literal white van and black ski masks. There’s no way Tony could take them seriously if he tried.

“You know, you do an awful lot of that,” Tony commented after picking himself up off the floor. 

“Of what?” The kidnapper said roughly. 

“The whole grunty growly type thing. I mean, I get it for ransom calls and all, but in real life, it’s kinda annoying.” He quipped. The man slammed the door so hard that the whole van shook, and presumably climbed upfront. They haven't assigned one of the men to sit in the halo body of the car with him so they were either really squished upfront, or had straight up killed the other guy. Although he didn’t think that was the case. This seemed like a small organization thing, and he doubted they had bodies to spare, plus, they were clearly going for stealth. 

The car jerked to life, making him tumble to the side into the back of the door. He winced as his head connected with the side of the door. He shifted his weight to see if he could kick out the tail light. He smirked when he felt the flimsy plastic start to give way under his hand. Quickly he covered the hole with carpet. Honestly, he wasn’t actually too worried about escaping right now. He hadn’t seen them act too violent yet, and he knew that his father would need some kind of press appearance to keep him off his back. 

Settling against the back of the car's interior, he decided to wait out the rest of the ride, not trying to keep quiet. He could hear the people up front bickering loud enough that they wouldn’t hear anyway. He could vaguely hear a window break upfront, accompanied by some screaming, making him chuckle.

This might be one of the most interesting kidnappings yet.

0o0o0o

“Okay, Natasha, we need to be rational about this,” Sam said, walking towards her. She didn’t do much, aside from shooting him a glare as she strapped a gun to her inner thigh. “We can’t just try to follow the assholes who took him, that might put him in even more danger. Clint, you agree with me, right?” He asked, hoping to appeal to  _ someone's  _ rational side. 

Clint, however, shook his head slowly, his face completely grim as he counted and recounted the number of arrows in his quiver. “You know what’ll put him in less danger? Killing the sons of bitches who took him.” Clint muttered, storming off to find something or other. He heard banging in the other room and, against his better judgment, left Nat to her collection of weapons she was strapped to places he didn’t know weapons could go to investigate the noise. 

Upon entrance, he saw Bucky and Thor in an argument, although he couldn’t tell what it was based on yet. “Thor, you’re being reckless,” Bucky said, which only confused Sam more.

“I’m being the opposite. I want Tony  _ and  _ Loki to stay safe, and I think this is the best way to do that.” 

At the mention of the younger brother, Sam looked around and quickly realized that Loki was nowhere on site. The handcuffs were left forgotten on the table. Suddenly the argument was starting to make more sense. “What if he  _ tried  _ something, Thor? You would feel like the biggest piece of dirt in the world if your brother hurt himself while we were not here.” 

“He hasn’t done anything since we got back.” The blond said. 

“Well of course not, who would while handcuffed to you?” Bucky shot back, running a hand through his hair. 

“I made him promise, okay? I’m not an idiot, he swore to heaven and back that he would be safe without me and that if he even started to feel like he might not be he would call me immediately.” Thor said, looking at the ground. He clearly didn’t seem thrilled with the idea of leaving his brother behind, but there was only so much you can do. 

“Well, of course, __ he’d promise that, but that doesn't  _ mean  _ anything,” Bucky argued. 

“Listen, if you want to stay behind and babysit him, I won’t stop you, but  _ I  _ trust my brother. Besides, we both remember what happened the last time you watched Loki.” Thor said with narrowed eyes. Bucky flinched at the mention of the incident last time he was left alone with the kid.

“No, no your right, it’ll be fine,” Bucky said, tugging a hand through his hair. Thor nodded, stepping through the door. 

0o0o0o

“What exactly are you planning on doing to me?” Tony asked as they dragged him, watching as his feet bounced on the cement floors of whatever warehouse he was trapped in. 

“Shut up.” his carrier growled. 

“I mean, I get the whole ‘make it look pretty for the video thing’ but aside from that what were you thinking?” He asked. 

“All you need to know is that you are gonna hurt.” The man growled gruffly, making Tony chuckle. 

“You guys are so cute,” Tony said, slightly delirious still. 

“What, you think something funny?” The man said angrily. 

“Uh yeah.” Tony scoffed. “You sound like an idiot on TV. With all the threats and the growling and the  _ huff grrr uggh _ .” He said, 

His captor didn’t reply, only bashed his head against the cement wall, making Tony's vision swim. Soon enough they arrived at a random room that someone had repainted to be black, making him giggle for some reason. The man ignored him, hauling him so he was weeping in front of a pool of water. 

“Aw, come on, we’re not going to do this thing, are we? The whole OOMPH- '' Tony's words were cut off when the man grabbed his hair, plunging him underwater. Instinctively Tony flailed, trying to get air in his lungs. He scratched at the hand holding him underwater, feeling the skin tear from under his nails. Through the water, he thought he could hear laughing, which would surprise him not at all, but it still felt a little pointed. 

The panic was starting to ebb away, which was what was really starting to worry him when they pulled him back up. He sputtered, trying to suck in as much oxygen as he could before they shoved him back under. To his relief though, he wasn’t pushed into the icy tub again. This time, they drug him to a rubber-coated table, pressing sticky pads to him before walking to a large machine they were attracted to. 

“Aw come on, I was,” He cut himself off with a coughing fit. “Hoping for an epic monolog.” He didn’t get any further before they cranked up the machine and Tony’s world went white. 

0o0o0o

“Come on, we can’t wait this out much longer guys,” Natasha said, bouncing on her feet impatiently. The others followed her outside, save Loki, who had curled up by the TV with a blanket, to debrief on the plan ahead of time. 

“Okay, so we’re gonna drive wherever we  _ think  _ he’s gone?” Sam asked. “That seemed pretty risky.” 

“Okay guys, don’t shoot this down immediately,” Clint said, stepping behind the car. 

“No,” Bucky said, deadpan. 

“Listen, he’s the best option we’ve got to find Tony without, well,  _ Tony _ , and I know it can be a little creepy but…” Clint trailed off, walking from behind the van with the chicken freaking robot.

“Clint’ It’ll try to sabotage the mission,” Bucky said. 

“No, Birdtrum is just as worried as we are, if not more. Besides, he has access to all the cameras Tony does, and it’s against whatever damn protocol in him to share it with us, so if we want to track Tony he’s our ticket.” Clint explained. 

“Birdtrum…?” Sam asked slowly. 

“Sounds good to me. Anyone who doesn't like the plan is free to stay behind.” Natasha said, stepping into the van with an air of finality. They exchanged glances before following. None of them were comfortable with the chicken robot, but they weren't about to let Tony pay the price for that. They tumbled in and sat squished, awaiting Birdtrums instructions. 

Bucky was sitting between Steve and Sam-the two people least likely to let him jump out a window- when he remembered he forgot his phone. It was already an hour into the car ride, with no clue when they’d be there, and he was getting antsy without something to flip through. Be it as it was, he was stick cleaning and recleaning the pistol he found in Nat's room when they were kids. It came in handy a surprising amount. Looking around, he saw that the others were occupied with similar tasks. Clint was sitting in the driver seat with the chicken robot helping him steer because the demon didn’t really talk and therefore couldn’t give directions, but his bow was tucked at his side, ready to grab. Nat would never reveal her weapons to anyone, even them, but she  _ was _ ‘pinning’ her hair back, which he knew from past experience was a great way to hide ammo. 

Steve was inspecting the paint on the garbage can lid they had found once during a rock fight, which is exactly what you think it is, and never got rid of. Sam was playing with his knife done, and Thor… 

Well, there was an argument about whether Mjolnir was a suitable weapon or not. He had stolen it from one of those wack-a-ma-things at a fair that had come to their town and kept it ever since. Steve thought he was going to end up dead from that thing one day, but a surprising number of people had been knocked out from it before. 

He leaned forward in anticipation for the car ride to end, pressing across Steve to look out the window, watching the trees whizzing by. Steve grunted slightly in recognition but otherwise didn’t react to the invasion of his personal space. At this point, they didn’t even know if Tony was alive, and if he was, what kind of condition he would be in once he was found. And Bucky knew Tony was technically 18, and in some ways, mentally much older (and in some younger) the freshman had somehow made him feel  _ protective _ of him. After, of course, he’d pulled a gun on him. Ho-oly shit he couldn’t believe he did that. What if he’d-

“We’re here,” Clint said, turning off the car and stepping out to whatever awaited them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Sorry, that jumped around so much, but this was sorta a filler chapter, for the next filler chapter for a BIG ASS CHAPTER, so stay tuned. Um, also, I have a dance tonight that I'm really looking forward to and a cute guy I sorta like is gonna be there and I think I am dying, so I wrote this to channel the energy, thus it being the way it is. Sooooo... sorry.
> 
> (Also I got an interview to be a representative member for my city councils arts district and I'm so freaked exited sorry, kay, bye for real now ;) )


	33. Oh...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst. That's it, that's the whole chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day another chapter! The chapter after this one is gonna be big, so ya'll better hold on.

Tony writhed on the ground as they electrocuted him again. They had been switching between electrocution and drowning for the past seven or so hours. Although that was only a guess, he was using the number of seconds he was held underwater and multiplying by four per electrocution, so really who knew. Anyway, it  _ felt  _ like seven hours at least. They had decided to spice things up by beating him, some whips were involved until they realized that they provided too many opportunities for quips, and he was starting to get actually scared. Because while his father would let a kidnapping to on for quite a while, usually to prove a point, he almost never allowed this much of a beating. It would be a massive inconvenience if he died. 

But maybe his father was banking on pity for this upcoming project or whatever, because as he was shoved underwater tp total who-even-know number of times, he felt his lungs practically give up. The water rushed into his body again, making his head spin and his arms flail around desperately. Finally, once his vision had long since started to go dark, he felt them yank him up again by his collar. They weren't planning on showing him mercy, so neither would he. 

0o0o0 

“Are you sure this is the place?” Bruce asked, stepping forward to look at the abandoned building. He didn’t know what he  _ had  _ expected, but it certainly wasn’t this. 

“Positive,” Clint said, patting the chicken Robo- er, Birdtrum on his head absently as he started walking, bow in hand. 

“Hold on, we don’t want to make it  _ worse _ ,” Sam said, trying to appeal to someone's voice of reason. It didn’t work, and everyone flat out refused to acknowledge his, probably because they had all already started walking to the doors. 

They approached the abandoned building, ready to swing the door open, then a thudding noise stopped them in their tracks. 

“What do you think that is?” Clint whispered breathlessly next to Natasha. 

“Currently, I’m really hoping that someone is playing bass music.” She said, before swinging the door open. The rest of the group exchanged a look before following the redhead. 

They walked into an open room at first, and it appeared empty, save for the trash that always made its way into abandoned buildings. They walked deeper, hands ready on their weapons, just in case, as they searched. It took much longer than any of them had anticipated finding their friend, checking every door and closet. Everyone was starting to worry that they had gotten the wrong place when Bucky scream alerted them to something. 

“What? Did you find him?” Steve asked, appearing next to bucky, who was blocking the entrance to a rather large room. Natasha pushed her way past Steve, managing to get past without trying to move Bucky. Which was good, because Bucky was frozen in pure shock. 

The room was a bloodbath. The walls were painted red almost to the ceiling, and close to the center were all kinds of torture tools. There was what looked like it used to be a pool, sitting broken, and the water that must have once been in it ran together with the blood. There was a large table slanted up, which had the top bent backward, and all manner of tools spread across everywhere. In the middle of everything, Tony was sitting, straight up, as per usual and swaying slightly, although in a dizzy way, not a creepy or dancy way, and staring blankly at the floor. And holy  _ shit _ there were three bodies there. Or Sam was assuming they were bodies, at this point they were more masses of tangled bone and flesh. The concerning thing though wasn’t the blood or even the bodies, it was Tony’s appearance. The tiny genius was almost completely white, making his eyes and lips stand out alarmingly in contrast. His hair was a complete matted mess, and seemed to have blood dried and tangled in, and his chest… 

He didn’t have a shirt on, and the exposed skin was covered in bruises and long, stick-shaped cuts, twisting in wicked ways across his skin. Thankfully, his jeans had been left on, so they were able to at least pretend the second half of him was better off. 

As soon as Nat saw the scene, she ran to her friend, skidding to stop on her knees in front of him. “Tony? Holy shit, someone help me move him.” She directed over her shoulder, trying to get the freshman to look at them. Sam stared as Clint dropped his bow to the floor and ran to Nat and Tony, trying to help alert him to reality, before deeming it useless and tentatively picking him up. 

Tony didn’t react to the contact much, but he did relax slightly once he was out of the room. Clint turned, so Tony's head would be angled away from the hell in there, not wanting to make matters worse than they already were. The rest of the group followed, sans Steve, who stayed to make sure the men in the room were truly dead. Once confirming, although one look should have been confirmation enough, he joined the others outside the building. 

Clint set Tony down outside, propping the freshman against the wall to keep him from slumping over. He tapped Tony on the cheek lightly to get his attention. Instantly Tony’s eyes snapped open, focused this time. He tensed immediately, bringing his arms up to cover his face before realizing who he was with. 

“Tony. Oh my goodness, you’re alive” Natasha said, checking his pulse quickly, although not necessary.

“Tony, how many fingers am I holding up?” Steve asked, holding up three fingers. Tony stared at him for a long time, unblinking and more than a little unnerving. “Tony?” 

“Three.’ Tony said finally, making them smile. 

“Good. That's good,” Steve said, running a hand through his hair. “Does your neck hurt at all? Your back or head or anything?” Steve asked. Tony gave him a dry look, making Steve blush slightly. “Okay, stupid question, sorry. It’s just, you might be in shock.” 

‘No, I’ve had hours, it would have worn off or killed me by now.” Tony said, pulling his knees closer to his body, trying to ward off the cold. 

Steve winced at that, trying not to think about the amount of time the freshman had spent in the warehouse. “Okay, I’m just going to check your spine, alright, can you turn around?” Steve asked. 

Obediently, Tony turned around, exposing his back for the sophomore to check. Steve drew in a sharp breath at the sight he saw. Tony's back was a complete mess. His skin was torn to shreds, almost to the point of being unrecognizable, although there wasn’t any sign of blood, at least not his, anywhere. Steve furrowed her brow sadly at the smaller of them, and Natasha took to gently detangling her friend's hair with an affection she never showed any of them, although her eyes were burning with anger. 

“I… alright, this might hurt a bit, but I want to double-check we’re not gonna kill you by moving you more.” Steve breathed out, before gently pressing his hand against Tony's nobby spin, easy to see even in the pale lighting. Sam's never realized how skinny Tony was until now, but he could count his ribs and vertebrae if he tried. 

Tony bit his lip at the contact with his cuts, but otherwise didn’t say anything or move away, which he should honestly have gotten an award for because Sam's back stung just from imagining the wounds. After an uncomfortably long time, Steve must have decided it was okay because he nodded and told Tony he could turn back around. 

“Your spin’s fine. We should probably clean your injury-” 

“They already did.” Tony interrupted. 

“But-” 

“They were very thoughtful Steve,” Tony said, fixing Steve with a stair, which would have been more intimidating had he not been shivering against Clint. 

“Fine. We need to get something to keep you warmer, do you know what they did with the rest of your clothes?” Steve asked, seemingly giving up.

“Uh, I think they lit them on fire,” Tony said, glancing at the building. Not for the first time, Sam was struck with how  _ young  _ Tony looked sometimes. Really, it scared him, seeing his friend so vulnerable and hurt. He wasn’t sure what he was planning on doing, the people responsible were clearly dead, but he wanted to do _ something _ , anything, to make it better. 

Thor instantly removed his hoodie, revealing his Indigenous Students Rights Club shirt from high school, and handed the hoodie over very gently. Steve nodded his thanks and helped Tony slip it over his injured frame before Clint helped pull him to his feet. They tried to take a step forward, when Tony abruptly tripped, stopped from faceplanting only by Clints grasp on him. 

“Wait, Tony, can you walk at all?” Clint asked. Tony nodded, looking down. 

“Yeah… I just tripped on something.” He reassured. Instantly, the seemingly normal rock began to shift, until the granite color slipped off, proving to be a blanket and ‘Birdtrum’ stepped out. 

“Oh, hey buddy,” Tony said, bending slightly to pat its head with a wince. Sam can’t prove that it purred, but it definitely did, before attaching itself to Tony’s leg like a toddler. Natasha was quick to grab it before it could trip Tony again, making it hiss at her, although she didn’t seem bothered by that in the slightest. Clint slowly helped the freshman into the car and scooted in after him, signing to Natasha to get on Tony’s other side. 

She did as Clint directed, making her way into the car while holding Birdtrum proved to be difficult, but not impossible, and as soon she was seated the others piled in around them. Tony ended up  _ very squished _ , to the point he was almost closer to sitting on Clint's lap instead of the seat. Not that it mattered, because Nat was currently insisting that he tried to sleep on the car ride back home, which wasn’t nearly as hard to do as it usually was, and soon the tired genius had ended up sort of lying down across the other two. 

“We need to find a hospital,” Steve said from the front seat. That got Tony's eyes open, and he moved to sit up, before realizing that Clint had completely fallen asleep on top of him, pinning him to the seat. 

“No.” He said firmly, startling the blonde.

“Tony, your injuries are incredibly dangerous. We need someone who knows what they are doing.” Steve said with a lecturing tone, although his eyes were worried. 

“I’ve performed major surgery in the dorms in half an hour, that was way harder than this, it’ll be fine,” Tony assured. He probably would have been more convincing if his words weren't completely slurred together. 

“Tony you’re going to the hospital!” Steve said louder, making Tony flinch away, although more likely from the sheer volume rather than fear. “Sorry.” 

“I can’t spend any more time in the hospital guys.” Tony finally said quietly. “Almost all my wounds are superficial, and I can treat them at home.” 

“I really don’t-'' Steve started again, only to be interrupted by Tony. 

“And you left Loki there alone. Do you really want to give him more time to get hurt?” 

Wow, that was a low blow. Low but fair, especially considering what Tony has seen of Lokis arms. and Steve seemed to consider for a long time, before finally nodding. “Fine. I won’t make you go in immediately but Tony, you do need to go in this week, understand?” Steve asked it was easy to tell that Steve was drop-dead tired because he would never have made that deal before then. Tony nodded his agreement and the conversation stopped for everyone. 

“Is the moon out tonight?” Thor asked several tens minutes later. 

“I can’t tell, why?” Steve asked. 

“Loki texted me,” Thor explained. Thor and Loki had a thing about the moon. Once Thor had decided to go for a sleepover, and Loki, being eight at the time, had been terrified of being left without Thor at home. Thor had promised Loki that he would still come back if Loki needed him to, and he had then pointed to the moon, which according to Thor had been full that night, nad told Loki to look at it at nine, and so would he, so they could do something together even when apart. They still did it sometimes, but it was rare. 

“Yeah, I can see it.” Bucky slurred sleepily, pointing out the window. Thor instantly locked his gaze on the moon for almost a minute before turning back to his phone smiling. 

“Thank goodness Loki’s safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I wanna say a few things. First of all, thank you to all of you for being so patient with me, I know my spelling makes this story hard to read and it means so much that you guys read it anyway. Second, thank you to all the people who commented about my dance, it was so sweet to read your comments. (P.S. it went really well and a senior asked for my number not knowing I was 14) and third, this next chapter is gonna be tough, and please be wise when reading it. Thank you and as always, I love kudos and reviews, they make my heart happy.


	34. *screaming*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO FREAKEN SORRY GUYS PLEASE ENJOY ALSO JUST KNOW LOTS OF WARNINGS APPLY

As soon as Bruce stepped onto the floor he knew something was wrong. First of all, all the windows were open. Not even cracked like someone had gotten too warm, but actually flung as wide as the safety regulations allowed them to go. Also, it was dead quiet. Aside from the wind and traffic outside, there was no noise, so every footstep echoed in an eerie manner. Plus, there was no Loki. Loki was younger than them, almost by five years, and as much as he tried to hide it, he really  _ really  _ hated being alone. Even with the moon tradition aside, he was always there with a snarky comment about them taking forever when they left without him to go anywhere, even places Loki didn’t want to go. Now, however, they were greeted with the almost oppressive quiet. Thor switched on a light, making him snap his eyes closed for a moment before he could look around again.

Nothing seemed out of order, however. There were no turned out drawers or muddy footprints, so it didn’t seem like someone had broken in. He glanced at the others, who were also looking for clues as to the teen's whereabouts without having to speak. Tony had been placed on the sofa, where he curled into a pathetic looking ball, still shivering from the cold despite their best efforts to warm him up in the car. Bruce watched the freshman idly as they searched. In some ways, he looked almost younger than Loki, which was a strange thought. 

They were startled out of their search when Bucky yelled, calling them into his room. Bruce and Steve hurried in, seeing Bucky holding his phone shakily. He looked white in the dimly lit room. “What is it?” Steve asked, peering at his friend. 

“Loki left me a voicemail,” Bucky said. He didn’t get out the rest of his sentence before a much louder scream pierced through the air. Exchanging a look, they scrambled after the sound. Finding the common room abandoned, they took the stairs up to Tony’s lab, where it seemed the scream came from. 

Bursting in, the three of them were not met with a pretty sight. Everyone, including Tony, was clustered in a far corner of the lab, huddled over something, save Thor, who was staring at the pile, seemingly in a state of shock. 

“What’s going on?” Steve asked, jogging over. 

“Call an ambulance!” Clint said firmly, looking straight at Bucky. Bucky took his phone out and dialed the number, trying to see what was happening.

Bruce couldn’t catch all of the conversations, but the more he heard the heavier the pit of dread felt in his stomach. 

“...Never seen these pills-” 

“I swear I locked the door-” 

“Do you think-” 

“The ambulance is on its way guys,” Bucky called, his voice breaking through their frantic conversation. Bruce inched forward at that announcement, peering at the teenager in question. Loki was sprawled on the ground, his face turned towards Bruce. His eyes were open, unfocused and staring at the wall. His arms were sprawled out, and he was twisted at the core, so his legs lay flat where his torso was on his side. 

“Guys, scoot back,” Tony said softly, shewing them with his hand. 

“What do we do until they get-” 

“Oh my-” 

“Is that blood?” 

“Scoot  _ back _ guys. I know what I’m doing!” Tony said firmly. Not panicky though, he seemed completely in control. Surprised, they all followed his instructions, stepping back a few feet. 

“Tony, what are you-” Steve started. 

“Clint, there is a tube in a plastic bag on the third dress to the left, I need you to grab that and the bag next to it.” Clint obeyed. 

“Tony, what are you doing?” Thor asked. “Can I help?” 

Tony snapped his attention to Loki's brother, keeping eye contact before becoming him over. “Yes. Okay, I need you to hold onto his chin for a second.” Tony said, pulling down Loki's chin to keep his mouth open. 

“Okay, why?” Thor asked, doing as instructed. 

“I’m intubating him. There's no-”

“Tony! You don’t have the-” Steve started. 

“Don’t tell me I don’t have the experience Steve, I’ve done this hundreds of times before,” Tony said, effectively shutting him up. “Okay, I have experience with the medication he took, it’s gonna help to make his muscles go completely still, effectively freezing him. We need to make sure his brain keeps getting oxygen.” Tony explained, his hands moving across Loki the whole time. 

“What about his heart?” Thor asked, his eyes burning into Tony, clearly, he hadn’t fully processed what was happening, but that seemed useful at the moment. 

“Once we have him intubated we need somebody to start chest compressions, but oxygenation his brain is the main priority right now because the heart has its own muscles and brain usually paralytics don't stop it invertebrates,” Tony said professionally. While he spoke he did something weird with Loki’s tongue, pressing it down while he moved the plastic tube down the teen's throat.

“You’re gonna choke him,” Bucky said worriedly from the sidelines. 

“No, I’m doing the opposite,” Tony said, his hands flying to attach the rubber ball at the end. “Okay Thor, I need you to squeeze the bag at around twenty times per minute. Can you do that?” Tony asked. Thor nodded, his face made out of stone. Tony quickly handed off the bag, his arm darting to Loki’s wrist. 

“Do you need someone to do chest compressions?” Bucky asked, stepping forward. 

“Hold on-” Tony said, holding up his unoccupied hand as he watched the clock on the far wall. “Okay, his pulse is okay for now. Thready but okay.” Tony said. 

“What do we do now?” Steve asked, shakily kneeling beside the teen. 

“I don’t have any kind of medication, besides, I can’t try to develop anything, he took everything here,” Tony said, keeping one hand on Loki’s pulse point as he used another hand to check his spine. “Our best bet is to wait for the ambulance right now until I can get the ingredients,” Tony said. 

Bruce had no idea how long he stood there, watching Thor help his brother breathe while Tony counted the heartbeats under his breath and stared at the clock. Finally, Steve must have heard the sirens, because he jogged downstairs, still slightly dazed, to direct the EMTs. 

Everything after that blurred together. They put Loki on a backboard and were doing  _ something  _ to his stomach that Bruce swore he knew the name for, but was forgetting, and he briefly remembered Thor insisting on going inside the ambulance before everyone was gone and the room fell silent again.

“We… We should follow them.” Natasha said finally, drawing his attention to his peers again. Nat was standing numbly, staring at the ground where Loki had been lying, absently rubbing Clint's shoulder as  _ he  _ cried. 

“Yeah…” Bruce echoed. 

“Well, let's go,” Steve said in a broken voice. 

“Um guys, should Tony maybe, ya know, stay here?” sam asked, looking between Steve, who looked on the verge of murder, and Tony, who was drowning in Thors hoodie and couldn’t seem to stay on his feet. 

“Absolutely not.” bucky said before anyone else could respond. 

“But-’ Sam tried again. 

“No. No way. We’re all just going as a group everywhere from now on.” Steve said, grabbing Tony by the wrist, earning a poorly masked grimace from the genius, and stocking out the door. Exchanging a glance, they followed their friend. 

“Which hospital do you think they are taking them to?” Bucky asked tensely, getting behind the driver seat. No one had the energy to kick him out at this point. Steve scooted in front of him, still holding onto Tony's wrist, so Tony was pinned between him and Sam. 

“It’ll be Saint Louis Memorial,” Tony said. “It’s the closest that can deal with this kinda stuff.” Bucky accepted the answer without a second thought and sped down the highway, jolting to a stop when the van reached traffic. 

“Damnit,” Bucky said, slamming his hand into the wheels horn. 

“Hold on,” Tony said. 

“No. You are going to be quiet.” Steve said, covering Tony's mouth with his hand. 

“But-” Tony started. 

“No. You’ve done enough right now,” Steve said. Tony jerked his head away from the hand, which covered most of his face. 

“Oh come  _ on _ Steve. If I hadn’t intubated Loki he would be  _ dead _ .” Tony said, batting Steve's hand the rest of the way.

“That was one of the most  _ idiotic things _ -” Steve started. 

“It saved his life!” 

“You don’t know that,” Steve said angrily. 

“ _ Yes, I do.  _ Listen, you may not know how that medicine works, but  _ I do _ , and it completely relaxes the diaphragm. Do you know what happens when the diaphragm relaxes, Steve? A  _ non-oxygenated brain,  _ and given how long it took to get help, that would have been almost twenty minutes. Bruce, would you  _ care to explain  _ what happens when the brain is without oxygen for that long?” Tony asked, whipping his head around to stare at Bruce, who suddenly felt put on the spot. 

He muttered something under his breath, trying to stay out of it. 

“I’m sorry Bruce, I didn’t hear that,” Tony said, making Bruce squirm. 

“The… The brain would uh, it would lose it’s um, it’s the ability to uh, metabolize the… the glucose into energy.” He said, 

“What the hell does that mean?” Clint asked, leaning forward. 

“Brain death. It means brain death.” Bruce said, looking down as he scrubbed a tear off his face. He wasn’t going to let himself think like that.

“What's to say that did anything? For all, we know Loki could still-” Steve started. 

_ “Enough,”  _ Natasha said, pivoting in the passenger seat to face them. Instantly they all clamped their jaws shut, not wanting to risk angering the redhead anymore than necessary. “Steve, I don’t want you talking about things like that right now. We have zero information- No Tony zip it- We have zero information and speculating about ‘what if’s’ aren't going to help anyone. Now you’re all going to be  _ silent  _ for the rest of the trip or so help me-” 

“We’re here,” Bucky said. Bruce hadn’t even noticed the car coming to a stop until Bucky pointed it out, making him wonder what kind of illegal thing the brunette had done to get them here. 

Everyone got out, walking to the doors as quickly as possible. By the time Bruce was inside, Bucky was already being informed that they had taken Loki into surgery but they were welcome to wait with his remaining family for updates. Bucky had a rather colorful response to that when Nat started pulling him into the waiting room.

Inside, they found a mess. Thor must have been there a while, making Bruce question how long the car ride had actually been because his things were spread across three or four chairs, none of which he occupied, and he looked like hell. 

“Hey, Thor,” Clint said, taking a step towards the blonde. Thor smiled sadly at them, before sitting in a chair and burying his face in his hands.

“What do we do now?”Bucky asked, looking around helplessly. 

“We wait,” Nat said, taking a step towards the doors. “I’m going to go grab some coffee, anyone want some?” She asked. They all nodded their agreement, and she stepped out. 

The silence was oppressive, and Bruce was almost happy when Bucky decided to break it. “How do you think he got them? We throw everything away and he doesn't have any money.”

“We never should have left him,” Steve said. 

“Well, we can’t really accept the blame for this, I mean clearly he was determined, it isn’t reasonable to expect him to be changed to someone every second of every day.” Sam reasoned. 

“Well, before Thor decided to take the handcuffs off things seemed to be working just fine,” Steve said bitterly. Oh no. 

“Steve…” Clint started. 

“No Clint, Steve is correct. If I hadn’t removed the handcuffs none of this would have happened.” Thor said miserably from the chair. Clint sat next to him, rubbing a hand on the taller man's back comfortingly. 

“Yeah! We had a system that was  _ working _ -'' Steve started. 

“If Loki did this then nothing was working, you were just forcing him to pretend it was. If the moment you leave for a couple of hours he does everything to ensure his death then you didn’t fix anything.” Tony pointed out. 

“Dammit, not  _ now  _ Tony. Why are you even here?” Steve asked. 

“Because you made me come,” Tony said. 

“All I’m saying is that if Thor hadn’t-” Steve started again.

“When will you get it through your head that this  _ wasn’t Thor's fault _ ?” Tony asked. Steve continued to glower at the other man, and Tony took a step closer. “Listen, if you want someone to blame, blame me.” 

“Tony-” Bruce said. This wasn’t going anywhere good. 

“No, really. I’m not trying to spin anything here.  _ I _ was the one who got kidnapped, which was the whole reason you left in the first place.  _ I _ was the one who has the lab- hell I’m the one with the medication, to begin with. Loki was fine until I showed up, and I guarantee being around Bertram isn’t going to improve anyone’s mental health. So if you are looking for someone to blame pick me. All Thor did was react to what I handed you, and I think he did that the best way possible with the information at hand.” 

Steve’s glare intensified as Tony spoke, taking a step towards the genius, and Bruce was starting to get really uncomfortable because when they stood like this it was just awful clear how much bigger Steve was and Tony really had made some awfully twisted points and everyone was so  _ tired _ . “You know what Tony, I think you’re right. Why did you have medicine in your lab anyway?”

“Oh, that was becau-” 

“And why the hell where you kidnapped? Those guys were clearly looking for you. Did you do something to them with your stupid tech or-” 

“Steve,” Clint said. “Rane it in. This isn’t  _ anyone's  _ fault. Least of all Tony’s.” 

“If Tony wasn’t here then Loki wouldn’t even be in the hospital, in  _ who knows _ what condition.” 

“I mean, he isn’t technically wrong,” Tony said, making Clint shoot him a glare. 

“Okay, why not everyone just take a breath and we can-'' Sam began, making a placating gesture with his hands. 

“No! I am sick and tired of Tony always messing things up. Every damn time Tony sticks his nose in something that gets worse. I mean, come on, Tony, you need to act your age. Like the first time he met Loki and crashed the helicopter, ignoring all of us-” 

“Technical only himself,” Clint interjected. 

“Or when Bucky messed up his arm and he decided to just go on in and fix it, even though nobody asked or-” 

“Wait a second, Steve, you asked him to do that. And I have a badass arm because of it.” Bucky said, standing up and placing an arm between the two of them. 

“If Tony hadn’t decided he had to join our group then none of this would have ever happened,” Steve said venomously. Tony blinked at that, taking a step back, and looked like he was preparing a response when they heard a loud curse from across the room. Everyone froze, turning to see Natasha, holding multiple cups of coffee and looking majorly pissed off. 

“Nat…” Clint said. “Hi…” 

“What the hell is going on here?” She asked in an icy tone. 

“Tony basically killed Loki is what's happening,” Steve muttered angrily. 

“I’m sorry?” Nat asked, stepping forward menacingly.

“Well, he was the one who got kidnapped, and he had the drugs that Loki took in the first place, and if he hadn’t-” 

“Steven Rodgers. Do you even hear yourself right now?” 

“Of course I-” 

“Okay, good, then you will understand that Tony was just kidnapped and tortured for almost 15 hours-” 

“Only seven actually,” Tony said. 

“Oh, that makes it so much better,” Natasha said dryly. “Fine, tortured for seven hours, help captive, escaped, then immediately after getting home jumped to  _ help _ Loki, did a medical procedure that none of us had any hope of being able to do, which the doctors just told me definitely saved his life, and then hightailed it to the hospital, all the while going without having his own injuries checked.” 

“But-” 

“No. That's enough. It’s more than enough. What needs to happen right now is someone should take Tony to the fount desk and check him in to have his injuries evaluated.” 

“It was completely irresponsible,” Steve said, his face still pissed, although he wasn’t going to say anything in front of Nat. “He needs to learn how to act his age. I mean, I get that college is a big adjustment from high school, but there was a suicidal kid on campus, he should have known better than to have just left medicine like that lying around a child. It was immature and-” 

“He’s 15.” 

“What?” Steve asked, pausing his rant. 

“Wow, you all really are clueless aren't you. His name is  _ Tony Stark _ . You know, son of Howard Stark, billionaire who runs the biggest weapons industry of all time, also one of the most well-accomplished scientists of the era. Tony’s his kid, and he’s been in the news almost every week, definitely every month, since he was born. 

“Oh wait, you're  _ that _ Tony Stark?” Bucky asked. 

“Uh,” Tony said eloquently. 

“You sold me beer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't kill me


	35. A CHILD! No.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce shrugged. “I try to avoid knowing too much about anyone. I don’t even know what Bucky’s short for.” 
> 
> “Remember the year you called him Buchenent until he punched you in the nose?” Clint said helpfully. 
> 
> “Eh,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy

“ _ What _ ?” Steve asked again, spinning in a slow circle. 

“What are you doing?” Tony asked drily. 

“Looking for a way that  _ this _ -” He gestured to everything. “Makes sense.”

“Wait, so this whole time, you’ve been 15?” Clint asked, staring at Tony. 

“...In a sense, yes.” Tony said. 

“Yes,” Natasha said. “He has been 15 the whole year.” 

Bruce stared at Tony for a while, before snapping his fingers. “Your last name is Stark, isn’t it?” 

“You didn’t know my last name?” Tony asked. 

Bruce shrugged. “I try to avoid knowing too much about anyone. I don’t even know what Bucky’s short for.” 

“Remember the year you called him Buchenent until he punched you in the nose?” Clint said helpfully. 

“Eh,” Bruce said. “Okay, suddenly things are starting to make a lot more sense.” 

“Great,” Tony said, sitting down in a chair. 

“Bucky, you bought beer from a 15-year-old?” Steve asked, turning to Bucky. “Wait- you  _ bought beer _ \- Tony, you sold him- what is-” 

Bucky just patted his arm, grinning. “It was only a little though.” 

"Oh my goodness you're a child," Clint said, looking at Tony. 

"I mean not-" 

"A newborn, an infant. Look at how short you are." Clint said again. "Guys, we can't fucking curse around him anymore- shit!"

“Oh no.” Steve rubbed his face roughly with his hands. “I’m a complete asshole I- Tony I’m so sorry I was just-” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Tony said with a wave of his hand and a practiced smile. 

“No, let him finish,” Nat said with a glare, which Steve seemed to literally wither under. He actually looked like he was going to, when a doctor called Thor's name, grabbing all their attention. Clint darted up from where he sat next to the blonde, following him instinctively. 

“Sir, we have some updates on your brother.” The doctor said, “Would you like to go somewhere private to talk?” 

“Uh…” Thor said, looking around. “No… no that's okay.” 

“Are you sure?” The doctor said, narrowing her eyes at them. Clint gave her a nod and she glared at him. 

“Yeah, there's no one else here anyway,” Thor said. “What do you know about Loki?” 

“Your brother is… currently stable.” The doctor said, making them all breathe a sigh of relief. 

“What happened to him?” Bucky said, “I mean, aside from the obvious.” 

“Well, that is the issue, we aren't really sure. We were unable to reverse the medications' effects, and for a while, it looked like we were going to lose him, but there must not have been enough in the bottle. We flushed his stomach when he stabilized him, but most of the pills were completely dissolved. We’re running tests on them right now, but whatever it was is pretty rare. There is also a huge amount of chemicals in general, Ivacaftor and trace amounts of Ibuprofen were discovered, two medications not usually paired together. Once I and my colleagues are able to determine the medication, if we can, we will let you know.” She spoke professionally and made eye contact with all of them, so there was no reason for Natasha's inherent dislike of the woman, but he hated something about her. Aldimidly, he hated every single word she was saying, so that may have affected it.

“But… he just found it in our dorm. And Tony said it was a full bottle, it was a full bottle, right Tony?” Bucky asked. Tony nodded his head thoughtfully.

“Yeah, I’ll work on figuring out what that was,” Tony muttered, hands flying to his phone. 

“Wait, you had medicine in your lab and you  _ didn’t know what it did _ ?” Steve asked, looking at Tony in concern. 

“Well I know  _ what _ it did, I just didn’t know what was  _ doing it _ . Totally different.” Natasha side-eyes him, before redirecting her attention to the doctor. 

“So, when are we allowed to see him?” She asked. 

“Well, we can’t allow anyone but blood relatives in right now, unless there is another immediate family we are unaware of, Thor would be the only one to fall under that category.” She said, “Once he is awake, and he consents, of course, you can be in to see him.” 

“Wait, shouldn’t our parents and sister be there? I have not legalized it yet?” Thor asked. 

  
“Don’t worry about that right now. Do you want us to call them?” Clint asked. She eyes the archer suspiciously. His voice sounded like it just went up seven octaves. 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Thor said. Clint stepped out and she immediately followed him. 

“What's going on?” she asked, catching his arm before he could wiggle away. 

“Uh, well, youtube, well when we went to get Loki-” 

“The first time?” She asked. 

“No, this last time. You remember how there was that really loud noise and I ran back inside and then Thor was gonna come on but then I ran back out and I told you to leave and we left really quickly and didn’t go back and I never told you what happened?” Clint asked in one breath. 

“Yes, why?” She asked. 

“Well, that gunshot was kinda his mom and what happened was apparently she had been saying that she was going to kill herself and nobody believed her and so then she tried something and the Loki walked in and then Loki freaked out and then the mom was like ‘but I know you do this to’ and she rolled up his sleeve but then his dad had walked in and he was really upset and he said that no son of his would ever do that and so then Loki slit his wrists to prove a point and ran away and tried again on the bridge. Well, then I came back into the house because them mom had been yelling at the dad and he was really REALLY pissed and he said that she wouldn’t dare shoot herself and she did anyway and he just stood there and watched and drank his beer and by the time I was inside she was already dead and I couldn’t really do anything and I’m really really sorry and I swear I did try.” 

He ended staring at her tearfully as she tried to process everything he had just said. After a long moment of anxiety for her friend, she pulled him into a hug. It had been a long day for both of them. “Here’s what we’re gonna do. You can’t tell Loki and Thor about it now. That’d completely destroy Thor, he still is trying to repair stuff with Hela, and Loki actually kinda loved his mom.” 

“What should we do?” Clint asked mournfully, holding onto her tighter. 

“We…” She trailed off. To be honest, she actually had no idea what they should do. “We’re going to tell them that nobody picked up, which strictly speaking isn’t even a lie, and once everyone is feeling a little more… stable… then we can tell them.”

“Okay,” Clint said. 

“We should go back in.” She said, not breaking the hug. 

“Mhm.” He said, 

“I just… it’s Loki. how could he…” She said. He had been so sweet and tiny, even just last year. He’d been so… she didn’t even know, just, energized. He would literally bounce from room to room until he was a teenager, and even after that, he would, as Steve called in, flounce. 

“I dunno.” Clint said. They stayed like that for a while. 

0o0o0o 

“Tony, are you okay?” Sam asked, kneeling in front of the teenager. He hated thinking that. “You’re shaky.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m good, I’m just… just tired.” Tony said. If anything was concerning then that was. He’d been Tony's roommate for months and he’d never once seen the teen admit being tired. 

“Are you sure, you don’t look good at all.” He said, pressing a hand to Tony's forehead. Instantly he drew his hand away. Tony felt about forty degrees to cold for a human. Okay, that might have been an exaggeration, but still. 

“Yeah. I dunno.” Tony admitted, dropping his head. 

“Holy shit you’re freezing.” He said, rubbing his hands together to warm them up.

“I’m fine.” 

“You’re starting to sound like a broken record. Hey Bruce?” He called. None of them knew anything about medicine, but Bruce had the most common sense. 

“WHAT?” Bruce called from across the room. 

“COMM’ER” He yelled again, not missing Tony's winch at his volume. 

Bruce sighed and gave up heckling the poor intern to jog over. “What? What is it?” he asked, reading Sam's expression. 

“Somethings wrong with Tony.” He explained. Bruce checked Tony's pulse and forehead, frowning at the contact with his skin. 

“Tony, your freezing. Has anything- oh.” He said, 

“What?” Sam asked. 

“Of course. Dammit, we should have checked him in as soon as we got here.” Bruce said, waving over the intern, who looked at him suspiciously.

“Wait, why?” 

“He was  _ kidnapped _ . We all forgot with Loki but, shit who knows what might have happened to him while we were gone.” 

Sam smacked his hand to his forehead because how the hell could he have forgotten that. “Okay, I uh, I’ll go get the doctor.” 

“Good. tell them it’s the emergency.” Bruce called. He jogged off to find a nurse or something when Steve stopped him. 

“What's going on?” Steve asked, stepping in front of him.

“Somethings wrong with Tony.” He said, trying to sidestep. 

“What?” 

“I don’t  _ know _ Steve. We were talking and something was wrong and he was just  _ kidnapped _ for heaven's sake.” 

“I wanna help,” Steve said. Sam blinked for a moment. 

“Sure. go get a doctor and come back as quickly as possible.” He said, turning around to get back to Tony, who was slumping back against the wall. 

“Okay, Steve’s hunting down a doctor.” He said, “Tony, do you have any idea what's wrong with you?” He asked the genius. 

“No… I mean the… the stuff they did it hurt but… it wouldn’t have long term side effects. They were pretty… careful about that.” Tony said. He was curling in on himself as he spoke, cradling his side. 

“He’s getting worse,” Bruce said. 

“Yeah, no shit, where is everyone?” He asked, looking around. Steve was gone, meaning Bucky was to, Clint and Natasha were MIA, and Thor had left to ‘take a Bruise’ or a walk about an hour ago and hadn’t come back, leaving them with…

“What's wrong with it?” Bruce asked, staring at Birtrum worriedly. He was making a whirring noise that was slightly unnerving as it stepped closer. 

“Don’t… worry about that.” Tony said. “Birtrum, tell Jarvis to run a scan for the doctors.” He said to the robot. It nodded it’s head and proceeded to walk around Tony several times before beeping. 

“Who’s Jarvis?” Bruce asked. Where the hell were the doctors. 

“I used to know him. He was great, a friend of my fathers to some extent, but he died and so I named my AI after him.” Tony explained like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Right, you're a tiny super genius. I keep trying to forget.`` Bruce said. 

“You’ve known for a grand total of 25 minutes.” Sam pointed out.

‘Guys, I found a doctor, there gonna admit him.” Steve called, popping his head around the doorway. They nodded and started to help Tony up. 

When he started seizing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick and dead and posting this before a 14 hour school day with no beta, so I'm sorry.


	36. OoOoOoh there's the tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He’s not even 15?” He asked. Loki nodded. According to Google, he was 14 and seven months. Great. This was fine. 
> 
> “How did you know?” He asked his brother. Loki took the phone back and pointed to a contact, which Thor recognized as one of his drama friends. “Right, fanfiction, stupid question,” Thor said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I'm sobbing enjoy

It took fifteen minutes, six nurses, two doctors, and a giant cocktail of drugs to sedate Tony, who was promptly hauled away. Natasha and Clint had yet to make an appearance, and Bucky was seriously not looking forward to telling Nat. Or Clint for that matter, he was surprisingly the most protective of all the group. Until then, he had bigger fish to fry. 

“So Steve…” He said, sitting next to his best friend. 

“I know, I know, I’m walking scum and should be melted into a puddle of goo before being frozen and repeatedly bashed with a sledgehammer and then being tortured exactly as Tony was except for all time.” Steve said, burying his head in his hands. 

“That was… oddly specific.” He said, running a hand along the blondes back. “No, I was just thinking that we should talk about what you said.” 

“I don’t even know why I said it. It’s not like I think those things, it’s just that I started talking and the words wouldn’t stop and I was so  _ pissed _ that Loki would do something like that, but I knew I couldn’t be mad at Loki and-” Steve rambled, tugging at his hair hard enough that bucky winced empathetically. 

“First of all stop that.” He said, reaching his hands up to detangle his friend's hands from his hair. “Second, you did a pretty shitty thing, and you’re going to need to apologize to like, every one a hundred and one times, but you aren't a horrible person.” 

“Why are you so sure?” Steve asked pathetically. 

“Well, first of all, none of us have slept for about- '' He checked his phone “36 hours. And for Mr. Healthy Sleep Schedule here, that’ll screw with you.” He dragged Steve so he was partly lying across his lap and completely unable to twist all his hair out. “Second, you don’t mean those things, I know you don’t, and I think everyone else will figure that out too. It’s just that at the moment they needed to defend Tony. you can understand that.” 

“Yeah, I can,” Steve said mournfully, curling his legs up so he was putting all his weight on Bucky. He resisted the urge to laugh. Ever since he had met Steve's weird Amish ass on the streets while looking for strangers' loss change, he had always fallen asleep at 8 on the dot. They had actually gone to have a sleep study done about it, but the doctors concluded it wasn’t dangerous, as he could stay awake if he really needed to, just strange. Even with everything going on he could see his friend fall into the habit.

“You do a lot for us, nobody's gonna be mad for long.” He said soothingly. 

“Hm.” 

“But I sure as hell ain’t gonna talk to Natasha though, that's on you.” He said, earning a sleepy chuckle from Steve. 

He wasn’t going to lie, he didn’t like what Steve did or said, not at all, it was pretty messed up, and he was so worried for Tony he thought he might have thought up. He’d taken longest to come around to the guy, but now that he had it felt impossible to believe that he had tried pulling a  _ gun _ on him once. Oh shit, how old would Tony have been when that happened. Oh no. Still, he recognized Steve’s side, He’d reached his limit for regulating everyone. It really wasn’t all that long ago he’d been launching himself at every minor problem head first before Bucky dragged him back home. It was easy to forget that Steve really  _ wasn’t  _ responsible. 

And they could only take so much before they broke. 

0o0o0o

“Family of Antony?” A nurse called. Instantly, Natasha appeared in front of the woman, Clint in tow. 

“Hi.” She said breathlessly. 

“Are you family of Anthony Stark?” The tired nurse asked skeptically. Natasha nodded without hesitation. 

“Not many people know about us, so we decided to stay out of the press. How is he?” She spoke with her voice higher than normal, and a slight accent that Clint couldn’t detect. Damn, she was good at disguising herself. 

“Well Ma’am, the truth is we don’t really know. As of right now, he hasn’t woken up.” 

“Do you have any idea why?” She asked again. Her accent may be fake, but the anxiety in her voice was a hundred percent real. 

“No Ma’am, we’re sorry. We’ve run several scans on his brain but there do not seem to be any abnormalities. However, we did detect several unknown items implanted in his muscles.” 

“I know that that is, don’t worry about that,” she said, thoroughly confusing Clint. “Is there anything else?” 

“I’m sorry ma’am.” The nurse said. 

“Can we go in?” Clint asked. 

“Not until we’re confident in his condition. Although we can give him a message when he wakes up if you’d like.” She offered with a smile, revealing a dead tooth that made Clint wince. 

“Yeah, tell him he’s grounded,” Nat said, before grabbing his hand and walking over to a chair to wait. 

“Are we allowed to ground him?” He asked the redhead. 

“I said we are, so yes. Don’t abuse it,” she said, making him laugh. Her phone buzzed insistently a foot or so away, and she very pointedly looked away. 

“Should you check that? It might be important.” He said, Not that he could think of anyone that might be texting her right now, but still. 

“It’s probably just Ricky.” She said with a sigh. “He hates it when I don’t text back right away, makes him suspicious.” 

“Why?” He asked. She shot him a look that said he was the stupidest thing on the planet, but he genuinely wanted to know. After a beat, she spoke. 

“He thinks I’m cheating on him constantly.” 

That surprised Clint. Natasha was incredibly beautiful, and she could have any guy she wanted, but that’s not something she would ever take advantage of. At least not like that, she had flirted her way through plenty of security checks before. “Has he met you? You’re the most loyal person I know.” 

She smiled, and if Client didn’t know any better he would have thought it looked sad. “I dunno. It’s been a long night, I don’t wanna think about him.” 

“Of course you don’t.” He said, It was understandable, her boyfriend was often a sore subject. “Commer.” With that, he hugged her. Wrapping his arms around her before she had the chance to protest. 

“Rude,” she said, leaning into the hug. 

“I know, I’m a jerk aren't I.” She hummed in agreement, and Clint allowed himself to relax fully into her hug, begrudging as it was, and they both fell asleep.

0o0o0o

“Mr. Odinson?” The doctor he had spoken to earlier said, jolting him out of his uneasy sleep. “Your brother is awake, should you like to say hello.” 

“Yes!” He said, jumping up. The doctor gestured for him to follow her. 

“I must warn you, sir, he is awake, but he’s refused to answer even basic questions so far. Selective mutism isn’t all that uncommon after a suicide attempt,” He sucked in a breath at the term, and she shoots him a pitying look. “But in most cases, the patient will start speaking within a month or two. If not, it is recommended that you inform a psychologist. Regardless, you should make sure he has an impartial party to speak with, even just a school counselor.” 

“I understand.” He said, nodding his head. Not that he did, he just wanted to get to his brother as fast as he could. 

“Alright. He’s just a couple of doors down, room 257.” She said, and he all but sprinted to open the door. 

Immediately he was hit with the antiseptic smell, which was much stronger in the hospital room, and cold air. Why were the rooms so much colder than the rest of the hospital? His eyes drifted almost unwillingly to his brother lying in the bed and… 

It was hard to look at Loki like that. He was always rather thin, somewhat gangly, but the bed seemed to drown him. He saw the restraints that had been placed on his brother's wrists and he couldn’t help but feel his heart sink. The blanket had only been pulled up to his brothers waist, despite the fact that he was clearly shivering, and they had removed the bobby pins from his hair, leaving it to hang in a frizzy mess around his face. 

“Loki?” He asked. Loki didn’t respond verbally, only looked at his lap and frowned a little. “Brother?” 

“He probably won’t speak for some time.” The nurse that was writing on the whiteboard said. “Don’t let that discourage you though. Talking helps.” 

“Thank you.” He said to her, She left shortly after while he stood patiently. Once she was gone he immediately moved to his brother's side. “Loki? They said you might not talk for a while, I’m sure you heard.” He started. What was he supposed to say? How on earth did they know that he wasn’t just going to make his brother worse?

“Tony feels awful, it was his medicine you took. We all do really, nobody's left the hospital.” He tried. Loki ducked his head, breaking eye contact, and instantly Thor felt filled with regret. 

“Not that any of us blame you.” He said quickly. “Steve had it out with Tony a few hours ago, he decided to blame me and then Tony stepped up. Natasha was pissed, did you know Tony’s 15?” He asked. That caught Loki's attention, and he gestured for Thor to hand him his phone. They had all learned sign language when Clint first when mostly deaf, but Loki had picked it up fastest. 

Loki tapped something in to google and handed back his phone. Thor stared at the screen, where Loki had typed in Antony Stark Age. Unfortunately, he was surprised by the number that popped up. 

“He’s not even 15?” He asked. Loki nodded. According to Google, he was 14 and seven months. Great. This was fine. 

“How did you know?” He asked his brother. Loki took the phone back and pointed to a contact, which Thor recognized as one of his drama friends. “Right, fanfiction, stupid question,” Thor said. 

They sat in silence for several more minutes, watching the clock. He didn’t know how much time passed, despite his staring directly at a timekeeper when he spoke again. “Loki, I don't know how to help you.” He admitted. Loki cocked his head to the side but remained stubbornly quiet. He cleared his thought and continued. 

“I mean, I can keep you handcuffed to me, which I will, by the way, and keep you from actively acting on anything, but I want to actually help you. Make you want to be here. I just…” He stopped talking, not wanting to risk crying right now. He swallowed back his tears and continued. “I’ve never been good at these things, you know that. But I want to help you, no matter what.” 

Loki didn’t say anything, he didn’t even look up, but the fact that Loki heard him was enough for Thor. Without any prompting, he took hold of Loki's hand, as much as the restraint would allow him to, and leaned on the bed, moving so he could play with his brother's hair. He loved it when Loki would let it be curly like this, not that he ever did but still. Loki didn’t move away and Thor stayed there until a nurse kicked him out, insisting he let his little brother rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve is still a dick, but a little less of one now. Okay, I'ma curl in a hole, please enjoy and as always reviews light up my life.


	37. D'AWWW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crack. Thats it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for why this took so long. Its not any better then any other chapter, arguably worse, but... yeah. 
> 
> No wait, I do have an excuse, take it up with my teachers.

“Okay, we need to come up with a plan.” Clint said, pacing in the waiting room. They knew that Loki was going to recover completely, which had been a huge relief to all of them, but they still had to take him  _ home _ , which Bucky thought was terrifying. 

“Okay, and here me out on this, we never let him leave.” Steve said. 

“No.” 

“I dunno, it seems like a smart plan.” Thor said. 

“No. But I don’t actually hate handcuffs.” Clint said, making Thor smile.  _ “For now _ . We can’t have him cuffed to you forever.” 

“Well what else can we do?” Bucky asked. 

“Well, there is this little thing called therapy, you might have heard of it.” Bruce quipped. 

“Yeah, there's this little thing called being broke, you might have heard of it.” Bucky retorted. 

“School counselor?” Steve asked. 

“He doesn't go to school.” Clint reminded them. “And he;s doing the rest of highschool online for the foreseeable future.” 

“Do none of us have insurance?” Bruce asked, looking around. 

“Dude, I own one pair of underwear, combined me and Bucky own three. we definitely don’t have insurance.” Clint said. 

“I thought I only had one to.” bucky said. 

“No, we found the build a bear ones, remember?” 

“I could have gone my whole life without knowing that.” Steve said. 

“You’re welcome. Maybe my family could help.” Clint suggested. 

“Remember Danny?” Bruce asked. Clints effect immediately sobered. “Your right, better to leave them out of this.” 

“Speaking of, isn’t Christmas in like, three days? Are they going to be okay with us missing?'' Steve asked. 

“Oh hell no. They’ll try to kidnap us for sure.” Clint said. 

“Including Tony?” Bucky asked. “Like, they haven't met him, do you think they’d just like, leave him behind? Also Loki's supposed to be in the hospital for two weeks.” 

“First of all, there's a barton family hospital, one of my super-rich grandpas bought it, second, they all follow my snapchat, they’d have seen Tony enough.” 

“Doesn’t Tony have to go to his father's house?” Bruce asked. 

“No, I was texting Nat, she said that Tony mentioned the whole reason he was pretty okay with this kidnapping was it would keep the press busy enough that his dad would let him off the hook for Christmas. He was planning on just staying at the dorms.” Clint said. 

“That's… disturbing. Speaking of Natasha, do you know where she is?” Steve asked. 

“She went to talk with Ricky. She wasn’t going to, but he was gonna show up here or something and so she left. She should be back soon though.” Clint said. 

“Why did we decide we weren't killing Ricky again?” Bucky asked. 

“Because Natashas scary.” Steve reminded me. 

“And she said no.” Clint said with a pout. “I’d loaded my bow and everything.”

“So… your family’s gonna kidnap us?” Steve asked. 

“Oh, yeah, definitely. Probably sometime tomorrow. I’d pack if I were you.” 

“And what if we don’t?” Bucky asked. He really hated packing. 

“Then you have to use the communal stuff. Including  _ the _ toothbrush.” Clint said with a shutter. 

“As in, a singular toothbrush for everyone?” Bruce asked. 

“It hasn’t been replaced in years, and I know for a fact that one time my brother Richerd tried to use it with charcoal toothpaste but it was really paint.” 

“That was Richard the hairstylist?” Steve asked. 

“No the other one.” Clint corrected. 

“The really old guy.” 

“No, the other one.” 

“The stripper?” 

“ _ No _ . He’s like two years older than me. Remember, you meet his kid at thanksgiving. One of my grandmas couldn’t tell us apart the whole time and finally, she just gave up.” 

“Oh yeah! We were planning on kidnapping his kid right? You called him Ditchered the whole time.” Bucky asked, snapping his fingers. 

“Shh.” Clint muttered, “We can’t talk about these things here. And it isn’t kidnapping if they come willingly.” 

“Yes… it is.” Steve said. 

“Oh hush. Trust me, it’ll happen. For better or for worse.” Clint muttered. 

“See, that's exactly the kind of thing you can’t say in public. You’re gonna get arrested one day.'' Bruce said. 

“You mean permanently this time?” Clint asked, making them all sign collectively. 

“You promised to drop that.” Bruce reminded. 

“Promised is such a funny word,” Clint said, interrupted by Bucky smacking him in the mouth. “Okay, rude.” 

“Lets focus. We need a plan for Loki because if Clint's family comes and picks him up while everyone's asleep they know what might happen with them.” Steve said. 

“Alright,” Bruce said. “Are handcuffs out?” 

“Yeah, at least while he’s hospitalized,” Sam said. “You could always just like, tell your family to keep Loki with one of us at all times.” 

“Nope, that's a sure-fire way to keep Loki away from us,” Clint said, pausing his pacing to stare blankly at a wall. 

“What if we had Thor 'accidentally’ superglue their hands together?” Bucky asked. 

“Nail polish remover,” Steve said. 

“So we can’t do anything?” Thor asked, breaking his silence. 

“We can try breaking him out and driving down ourselves but aside from that we can’t do anything,” Clint said. “It won’t be much of a problem once we get there, but it's a pretty long car ride.”

“I mean, one car ride isn’t so bad,” Bruce said. 

0o0o0o

Bucky didn’t remember falling asleep, but he woke up scrunched against Steve and definitely in some kind of moving vehicle. He shifted and was surprised to find his movements weren’t restricted from his seatbelt. Looking up he saw that they were, in fact, not wearing seatbelts, probably because there were no seatbelts. And also it was a school bus. 

“What… happened?’ he asked, sitting up, only to have his head collide harshly with the metal framing around the window. 

“They got us,” Clint said, turning around a few seats away. 

“What about Loki?” He asked. “And Nat and Tony?” 

“They're all here. I’ve got no clue how anyone got Nat, but I think I have a blind cosine now, so that's cool.” 

“Wait… what?” He asked, his tired brain still struggling to catch up with the events. 

“Don’t worry about it.” He said, 

“What about Tony though? Did we even figure out what's wrong with him?” He asked, trying to keep his voice at a lower volume so as to not wake his friend. 

“No, but Tasha’s sleeping next to him with a gun so I think he’s gonna be good for now,” Clint replied, matching his volume. 

“You know I can’t shoot an illness, right guys?” Natasha said, making both Clint and Bucky scream. 

“I swore you were asleep,” Clint said. “How’d they even get you in here?” 

“Chloroform.” She replied, choosing not to elaborate. 

“Damn. Are you sure Thors the only family with a cult Clint, because yours still scares me.” Bucky said. Clint just chuckled, although he wasn’t exactly reassured by it. “Are we the only ones on the bus?” 

“No. Richard and Mary were the drivers, cuz of the dog incident. Peter should be around here somewhere too.” Clint said. Bucky couldn’t help smile at that. Peter made basically everything better, even on weird kidnapping trips where at least two people were taken out of hospital beds. 

“Which dog incident?” Natasha asked. 

“Uh… I dunno. I’ll go ask.” He said, walking up to the front of the bus, where Mary and Richard were squished into one seat, which could not have been legal. He noted idly that Rich’s wife was also a redhead. Clearly the bartons have a type. 

“Bubby?” bucky heard from the aisle. Turning, he saw Peter, clutching his tattered stuffed corgi (named bubbles after Bucky had joked about it having a bubble butt) and staring at him intently. 

“Peter!” he whispered. The toddler held out his hands and bucky pulled him over Steves still slumped form. “We needa be quiet, kay? Steve’s asleep.” 

“Stebe?” Peter asked, tilting his head. In response, Bucky pointed to the blonde asleep next to them. “Stebe!” 

Bucky hushed the three-year-old, but Steve had already woken up. Although that term should be used loosely. “Whatsapping?” 

“We’re on the Barton school bus with Peter,” Bucky informed. 

“Stebe,” Peter said seriously, holding his arms out to the blonde. Bucky couldn’t help but laugh at Steve's instant look of discomfort before picking the child up. None of them had experience with children, but some of them had more of a natural instinct than others. 

“He-y Peter,” Steve said, picking up the boy. Peter sat for about three seconds before leaping energetically off Steve's lap, making the blonde panic for several moments, seemingly convinced the child was going to bash his head in. Peter, however, landed surprisingly well, before toddling off. 

“Tasha!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BBY PETER CAMIO!! I'M SO FREAKEN HAPPY! HE's THE CUTEST!!


	38. IJUSTREALLYLIKEBABYPETER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, Natasha,” Mary said as she walked closer. Mary had red hair like her own, but it reached well past the mother's waist, and she clearly didn’t take time to straighten it every day like Natasha, instead letting it fall down her back in loss waves. 
> 
> “Hi,” She said, standing next to her. “What are they…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just really love baby Peter, okay?

The bus screeched to a stop in front of a gas station, startling Natasha out of her shallow sleep. Her plan had been to stay awake the whole time and try to keep the three children on the bus alive, but it had been a while since she had been able to lie down. She woke up with Tony still asleep against the window, and Peter asleep on her lap, something that would make moving much more difficult than it should be. She tried to silently put Peter down on the seat so she could take stock of how everyone else was doing, only to be met with his sleepy brown eyes opening. 

“Aun’ Tasha?” He asked. 

“Shh, Peter, go back to sleep okay? I’ll be right back.” She assured, trying to step away from the tired children. 

“Where are you goin?” He asked, sitting up. 

“I’m just gonna walk around, okay? Lie down next to Tony please.” He obeyed and she finally removed herself from the seat.

Stretching, she walked lazily down the aisle, looking for anything that she might need to do to prevent immediate death. She quickly snapped a picture of Bucky and Steve sprawled across each other and peered out the window, where she saw Clint and his brother attempting to carry at least twelve bags in from the 7/11 in one trip, while Mary watched, not helping. She stepped outside to join them, relishing in the cold air on her face. 

“Hey, Natasha,” Mary said as she walked closer. Mary had red hair like her own, but it reached well past the mother's waist, and she clearly didn’t take time to straighten it every day like Natasha, instead letting it fall down her back in loss waves. 

“Hi,” She said, standing next to her. “What are they…” 

“Rich thought everyone needed snacks. You can blame Clint for the soda though.” She said, shaking her head slightly as they attempted to climb into the bus. 

“Great. That’ll work out well.” Natasha said. “Did they at least buy cups?” 

“What do you think?” Mary said with a laugh. “I love my husband.” She shook her head, laughing again. Natasha couldn’t help but smile along with her. 

“I know how that goes. How’d you two meet?” She asked, stepping onto the bus after the two Bartons had managed to fit though and start distributing the snacks. 

“I was in a reading group led by one of his friends. She dragged him along with her because she thought he needed to read at least one piece of classical literature, and the rest is history.” She said with a dreamy smile. As sweet as it was, Natasha found herself wrinkling her nose slightly. The idea of wanting to marry Clint, as endearing as he was, was still repulsive. Thankfully, Mary didn’t take any offense, instead laughing at Natashas face as they sat down in the bus’s seats again. 

“I see.” She said, making Mary laugh again. 

“What about you and Clint? And everyone else I guess. You don’t seem like people who’d hit it off.” Mary asked. 

“We were in second grade, and I had just moved here from Russia. Clint decided that they needed a guard in their playground game and wouldn't take no for an answer.” She explained. "He tried to learn Russian at one point to talk with me in my 'native language'. I told him to stop, but he was pretty stubborn." 

“Yes, that does seem to be a theme with the Barton men,” Mary said with a laugh. “So you’ve known them all for ten years?” 

“No, we meet Bruce in high school, he had the misfortune of having his locker between Steve and Bucky, and Tony just this year.” She informed me. 

“And what’s going on with Steve and Buck anyway? Like, are they together or…” Mary asked, twisting in the seat to look at the odd pair. 

“No.” Natasha laughed. “But none of us believe that there is a straight ether. No one really understands their relationship.” 

“Mama?” Peter asked, toddling up to them. Mary instantly picked the toddler up, placing him on her lap so he was facing her. “Uncle Cwint said I could’ have some soda. Can I pwease?” Peter asked in his little kid voice. 

“No more than you could hold in your dino sippy cup,” Mary said, making Peter do a little happy dance. 

“Thank you!” He yelled, jumping down. 

“He’s the cutest kid ever,” Natasha said, watching him run up to Clint and take a soda can. “And so polite.” 

“Thank you,” Mary said laughing. “I was so surprised. Everyone told me about how bratty little kids could be, and to expect them to be constantly rude, but I haven't seen that with Peter at all. Sometimes he’s nicer to people than I am.” She confessed. 

“I’d believe that.” She said, Mary looked like she had something else to add, but that was the moment that Peter chose to try and throw his soda out the window, resulting in a rather sticky Bruce. 

“Trust me though,” She said, standing up. “There are downsides.” 

0o0o0o

They pulled into the Barton Family Home ™, several long hours later. Natasha woke up asleep in Clint, although she had no memory of ever lying down, to Thor waking them all up, using a megaphone found under a seat. For some reason. 

“WE’RE HERE!” He yelled into the megaphone, making Clint sit bolt upright, which ended with her slamming her head into the wall. 

“Sorry!” Clint yelped, already more awake than her. 

“Don’t worry about it.” She mumbled, looking around. To her delight, the noise seemed to have woken Tony, who was looking far more alert then he had since they got him from the warehouse. She still had to yell at him about not sharing with them the fact that epilepsy was on his med record, and that his father made a nice medication that the hospital didn’t stock, but for now she was gonna be happy he was alive. 

“Is your head okay?” He asked, looking far more concerned then the situation warranted. 

“Yeah, it’s fine.” She said, rubbing at the injured spot just above her ear, and wincing at the drop of blood that came away on her fingertips. Looking at the wall, she saw a sharp screw sticking out where she had hit her head. 

“Holy shit your bleeding.” He said, tilting her head to see the small cut. "I am so sorry Tasha. It was an accident I swear."

“I just snagged my head on a screw. No big deal.” She assured, standing up before he had a chance to argue the point farther. He pouted but allowed her to scoot past him. 

“Aun’ Tasha hurt?” Peter asked, pouting at her. Suddenly she could see his relation to Clint pretty clearly. 

“No Hunny, I’m okay. Can you help me find Loki?” she asked, bending down slightly to speak with him. Peter lit up at the mention of Loki and she couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt. She had a feeling that he might not have as positive of a interaction with Loki as he had had before. 

“Bru’s told me that Woki is sad now and to not tawk wif him,” Peter said, suddenly serious. She turned back to glare at Bruce for his poor summary, seeing him sink beneath his book even farther, before turning back to the toddler. 

“Well Loki is sad, but I'm sure he would love to talk with you.” She said, pointing to the teenager, standing idly outside the bus. 

“Weally?” Peter asked. 

“Yes, but try to talk with him when Thor's around, okay?” She said, 

“Okay. I’m go talk to Fhor and Woki.” Peter said, nodding and walking off the bus. He was still small enough that he had to turn around and lower himself off the steps. 

“Really Bruce?” She asked. 

“I panicked!” He defended himself, sliding farther down in the seat. 

“You told a toddler not to talk with a depressed teenager.” 

“What should I have said?” He asked. 

“Just try to not get cornered next time.” She said, 

“How do you keep from getting cornered? He just walks up and starts talking.” Bruce said. 

“Have you never spoken to a child before?” She asked. 

“No. Even when I was a child I tried to stay away from children.” He said, standing to get off the bus. “I was in kindergarten through fourth grade with you guys.” 

“Really, you were?” She asked. “I don’t remember you.” 

“Exactly,” He said with a shudder, walking past her into the crisp December air. She smiled, following him out. She was the last off the bus, and she walked to join the crowd of her friends by the door, waiting for someone to answer. 

She angled herself to stand next to Tony, still trying to keep as much an eye on him as possible. Unlike her friends, she was not willing, or able, to forget about him being so recently hospitalised. She grabbed his shoulder, pulling him so his ear was near her mouth. “Don’t think for a moment you don’t owe us an explanation about that episode in the waiting room.” She whispered. To her dismay, Tony only replied with a wide grin, which looked more than a little maniacal. 

“Aun’ Tasha?” Peter asked, toddling to her. 

“Yes, Peter?” She asked, tilting her head to look at the smaller child. 

“Up pwease!” He said, making grabby hands at the air. Laughing she scooped the child up, and turned just in time to see the door open. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Nat talking to Peter how I talk to the kids I babysit, but IDK if its normal or not. Also, I don't know why everyone keeps thinking I'm gonna kill Mary and Richard. 
> 
> Ya'll know my track record with Peters guardians... 
> 
> :)


	39. Peter's Cursed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Peter is cursed. That's it. That's the whole chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm tired, send help.

The moment the doors were opened they were whisked into craziness. The first thing Tony noticed was the whole house smelled like baking. Everything was overpoweringly vanilla and sugar scented. The rest was noisy because wow it was loud there. He could hear children laughing down a hallway to his left, whereas adult chatter was at his right. Directly in front of him, there was a guy who looked about everyone else's age dangling from a giant rope of tinsel off the stairway. Everything was overwhelmingly red or green, including somehow the lightbulbs, and there was some instrumental Christmas music playing in the background. 

This would be a very different Christmas party then he was used to. He hardly had time to think before an old lady took his hand, yelling for someone to grab his backpack which had been stuffed with a message full of clothing, and began leading him upstairs, gesturing for others to follow. He was thrown in a room with his stuff, along with Clint, Rich, Peter, Bucky, and Steve. There were four sets of bunk beds and a million trinkets everywhere. He felt someone should be concerned about the chaos, but everyone else seemed mostly unbothered. 

“Oh, sorry Tony. We should have warned you better.” Steve said. 

“Are they always like this?” He asked, staring out the window on the far corner to see someone with a potato gun shooting a cat. 

“Sometimes even more so. Just wait until Christmas morning.” Bucky said, leaping onto the bed. 

“No way, you are on the top bunk, you know how it goes,” Steve said, pointing to the other bed. He seemed… relaxed. It was unnerving. 

“Oh! Can I show him around the house?” Clint asked, looking at Steve. 

“Me too!” Peter yelled, throwing a hand in the air. Steve nodded, still bantering with Bucky, and the two Bartons grabbed his hands before he had a chance to protest. 

“Okay, we’ll start with the attic and work out way down,” Clint said. 

“You know, I could just look up the blueprints to the house online. Avoid all of this.” Tony tried. 

“You won’t be able to. We’ve made some… modifications to the original house.” Clint said. 

“What kind of modifications?” He asked. 

“Well, uncle Bart decided we needed more upper floor space, so he added two floors on top of the roof, which is super fun, but you need to be careful to not move the rug too much or else the paneling on the old roof starts to come up. Oh, and we started to add a basement but then everyone got too lazy, so there is just a giant hole under the house.” 

“There is no way that that is legal,” Tony said. “Or… safe for that matter.” 

“Eh. The police try to avoid our house unless someone is really in danger.” clint said, shrugging. “Plus, we have the Police Chief over once a month for barbecue, so they overlook anything they can.” 

“T’ny up?” Peter asked, stepping in front of him. 

“Uh…” How was he supposed to handle a child? He was pretty sure if he picked him up he’d break him. 

“Go ahead Tony,” Clint said, smiling. Awkwardly, he picked up the small child, wincing at his weight. He could feel the strain pulling at some of the larger cuts leftover on his back from his brief stint in the warehouse, but he wasn’t going to say anything. 

“Yay!” Peter yelled, pumping a fist. 

“Tony, you’re holding him like he’s a bomb,” Clint observed. 

“I’m far more comfortable with bombs Clint.” He said, looking at the happy toddler wearily. Peter didn’t seem off put in the slightest by his own discomfort, instead, the toddler was looking around eagerly, happy to see things from a different level. He heard a sound to his left, followed by snickering, and turned his head to glare at Clint, who was holding a camera. 

“You two are adorable!” Clint said, gesturing to him and Peter. 

“Hmph.” 

“Okay, so this is the attic…” 

0o0o0o

Clint had finally broken away from the mandatory debrief with his family about college, assuring them that yes, his classes were going well, no he wasn’t doing drugs, he was definitely eating enough, and no he wasn’t dating anyone. They wouldn't believe any of it, but he liked to at least try and set the record straight. Tony was still stuck with them, as newcomers were made to talk about basically their whole life, and he had dropped Peter off with his actual parents. Collapsing onto his bed with a huff, he allowed himself a moment of peace. 

“Clint Barton, control your family.” Natashas voice suddenly filled the room as she tumbled on top of him. 

“Hello to you too.” He said, his voice muffled in the comforter. She probably couldn’t understand him, but he was hoping he got his point across. He probably did, because she smacked at him. 

“They either think I am Mary and keep giving me Peter, which I’m not complaining about but I would like them to learn my name, or they are asking when I am marrying  _ you _ .” She said, wrinkling her nose in disgust. 

“Maybe they have a point.” He said, rolling over. That earned him a high heel to the face. 

“If I’m marrying you then sound the alarm because I can’t imagine that happening in any pre-apocalyptic scenario.” She said, 

“Gotta cause an apocalypse. Got it.” He said, making her glare. 

“You get to be happy around your family. I don’t like it.” She quipped. he shot her a grin.

“Have you seen Steve anywhere? Bucky was looking for him.” He said, 

“Last time I saw him he was picking a fight with a great cousin or something because he made a racist joke. He actually got a lot of people on his side.” She said, “I think he’s breaking up marriages.” 

“Eh, can’t be as bad as the dog incident.” He said with a shudder. 

“Yeah, will someone tell me about that?” She said indignantly, moving so her legs were thrown across his lap. 

“Yeah! Okay, so you know Peter?” He said, She nodded. “Well a couple of months after he was born, my aunt's boyfriend bought his wife, not my aunt, a dog.” 

“Okay…” She said, raising an eyebrow.

“Well the wife named the dog and everything, had him for a few weeks, then suddenly had a heart attack and so the boyfriend gets the dog.” 

“As one does.” 

“But here's the thing, he was allergic to animals, so he gave the dog to my aunt. The problem was the dog's name was Afraid, and the aunt had a kid  _ and _ a husband already named that, so she renamed the dog.” 

“I still don’t see the problem here,” Natasha said. 

“She renamed the dog Peter. Immediately after meeting the human Peter, by the way, and so it became this huge thing and everyone started taking sides. It was crazy.” He finished. She laughed. 

“That's it? That's the infamous dog story?” 

“It's a huge Tasha! People got divorced over it! I think someone died!” He defended, widening his eyes for the effect. 

“Sounds like a noble death to me.” She said, making them both laugh. They stared in the room, bantering for a while trying to avoiding the craziness outside for a bit, when the door swung open, banging into the wall to reveal a rather frantic Steve and Bucky. 

“What's going on?” Clint asked, immediately sitting up. 

“Tony’s terrifying,” Bucky said. “Scarier than the chicken robot and his creepy ceiling AI thing combined.”

“He’s not wrong,” Steve said. “I was outside because one of your uncles was gonna fight me and I looked on the roof and he was just like, hanging off of it, and we were worried and were calling to try and get him to come down.”

“And we thought he might be unconscious because we remembered he was in the hospital for something to remember, but he was completely fine,” Bucky said, interrupting Steve. 

“He’d made a stupid bet with one of your brothers that he couldn’t hang upside down for three hours, and if he could then the brother would do whatever he wanted him to do for the rest of break.” Steve finished.

“Oh damn it. He shouldn’t be out there.” Natasha said. “What side of the house was it?” 

“Um… the one with the big bush.” bucky said. Steve nodded his agreement. 

“Clint, does the roof still have that one hatch in it?” Natasha asked, turning to address him. 

“Duh.” 

“Okay, you two go outside and tell that brother that the bet is  _ off _ . Clint, come with me.” She said, grabbing his collar and storming upstairs. 

“Uncle Cwin’?” Peter asked from behind them. Ducking out of Natashas grasp on his shirt to turn to see the toddler. To his surprise, he found the toddler in tears. 

“Nat, you go on up, kay?” He said, not turning around. 

“Alright.” 

Now focusing his full attention on the little boy. “Hey Peter, what's wrong?” 

“The gol’fish.” He said, looking down. This couldn’t be going anywhere good. 

“What's wrong with your goldfish?” He asked. 

“Something happen.” He said tearfully. 

“Can you show me?” He asked. 

“Yes.” He said, grabbing Clint's hand and pulling him down the hallway. They entered the room that Clint had been in a few moments ago to find an empty bowl, and Snickerdoodle the cat licking his lips. 

“Um…” He said, “Okay, so the fish is… lost…?” He said, still hoping to at least distract Peter. Maybe he could replace it without the kid noticing. 

“Not lost.” He said, “Snick’doodle ate him.” 

“Oh, what makes you think that?” He asked, wincing. 

“Red,” Peter said, pointing to the blood spot on the carpet that the cat was currently licking. 

“Oh no.” He said, looking at the distraught toddler. “I’m sorry Petey.” 

“Issokay.” He said sullenly. “Have you seen bubble notebook?” He asked. 

Surprised by the sudden change of subject, he searched the floor, spotting it somewhere near Steve's bed. “Here it is!” He said, handing the book to Peter. 

Peter turned to a page, taking the fluffy pen off of the spiral book. He made a single mark on the page before putting a ribbon bookmark in it. “Dazz Another one.” 

“Another what?” He asked the little kid. 

“Another fishy dead,” Peter said solemnly. “Daddy said to make a mark in my book so don't forget dem.” 

Well, there was all the heartache he’d need for the rest of the month. “Can I see the marks?” 

“Mhm,” Peter said, flipping to the page. He peered at the marks. 

“Pete, I think you made a mistake, there's like, forty marks on this.” He said, 

“Nu-uh. Mama said that this was my last fish.” Peter said. 

“Why do only some of them have names under them?” Clint asked, looking at the childish scrawl. 

“I stop naming them,” Peter said. “I ran out.” 

Clint was spared from responding to that, which he would be eternally grateful for, by hearing Natasha’s screaming upstairs. “ **_You can not deal with firearms Tony,_ ** ” Even without the disturbing command being directed at him he still instinctively flinched at Natasha's voice. Peter did too. 

“Is Mama mad?” He asked, wide-eyed. 

“No, your mama’s not mad, but Natasha is.” He said, 

“An’ Tasha?” He asked. 

“Mhm.” With that, Peter stood up, walking to his suitcase and began piling his clothing inside. “What are you doing?”

“Weving,” 

“Why are you leaving?” 

“An’ Tasha is scawyer then Mama.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope ya'll loved it! I'm so freaken tired. I love baby Peter so much to, he's all I wanna write now. 
> 
> Haha, I keep thinking about my plans for him and making myself cry. 
> 
> good luck.


	40. Christmas!!!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas Day!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, I thought I would get to the Christmas chapter in December. But here we are, February 26th. Enjoy!

“Goo’ mornin Cwint!” Peter yelled, leaping directly on Clint's chest. He exhaled sharply, before laughing and rolling over. “Iz Chris’ams!” 

“Is it?” He asked with a smile. “Where’s your dad?” 

“He say that if there no son, it’nt morning.” Peter said very seriously. 

“Well, that sounds like a stupid rule. Let's wake everyone else up!” He said, jumping out of the bed. Despite usually sleeping in his underwear, when it was Christmas he made the exception for his elf onesie. He’d bought everyone one, but they felt differently about them then he did. 

“Who should we wake first?” He asked Peter, kneeling down. 

“No one in dis room. It woke daddy and he’d be cranky.” Peter said solemnly. 

“I think you’re right.” He said, 

“Lezzdo aun’ Tasha!” Peter said enthusiastically. 

“Fine, but you’re the one putting your face on the line, not me.” He said, forcing a shudder for Peter's amusement. 

“She can be scawy.” Peter said solemnly. “But no’ to me!” He said happily, bouncing down the hallway to the door Natasha and Mary were staying in. Clint laughed at his excitement, before sprinting to catch up with him. 

“Now we very quiet, we don’t want mama awake yet,” Peter said very seriously, reaching for the door handle. He stared at the knob for a minute, unable to turn it, before looking to Clint. Happily, Clint twisted the handle and let him inside. 

“Okay, your mom’s bed is on the left, Nat’s is on the right.” He whispered. 

“Okay,” Peter said. Then, before Clint had a chance to stop him, Peter promptly climbed on top of the bed frame, balancing precariously with his Christmas slippers. 

“Peter, be careful.” He whispered, walking behind him in case the toddler lost his balance. 

He hadn’t seen a toddler give such a withering look before. With practiced ease, Peter slowly climbed down onto Nat’s mattress, staying on all fours to keep from disturbing her. He had to admit that he was impressive. “We forgot somethin’” Peter whispered, sliding off the bed. “Iz in my backpack.” 

0o0o0o

Natasha woke up as soon as the unoiled door was pulled open. She tensed, staying on high alert until she heard Clint and Peter whispering back and forth. She forced herself to regulate her breathing so as to keep Peter and Clint thinking they woke her up. She was pretty sure Clint would have caught on by now that she could wake up from a pin drop, but she tried to never underestimate his unabserventness. 

She heard them sneak out again, and shifted under the blankets to look at her temporary roommate while popping a tic-tac in her mouth. She had standards. It was shocking she fell asleep with her there, usually, she was so unnerved thanks to her father's line of work she couldn’t, going as far as to find… creative places to sleep when she made it to college, but staying up late talking with Mary made it far easier. 

“Are you awake?” Mary whispered across the room. 

“Yeah.” She said, 

“I’m not getting up before the sun. Make Clint watch Peter for me.” Mary said, rolling over. Natasha stifled her giggle as the door swung open again. 

“Okay, Aun’ Tasha is sleeping on the right?” Peter whispered. She’d give it to him, it was more volume regulation then she’d ever heard him use before. 

“Yes. Be careful with that though. And remember, I was the one who did it, okay?” Clint asked. 

“Yes,” Peter said. That was all the warning she got before being completely doused in water. Jolting up at the unexpected prank, she sputtered the water out of her nose and mouth. 

“ _ Clint _ !” She yelled, immediately deciding to go along with their plan. 

“Run Peter, run!” Clint instructed. “Thor’s next!” 

The door slammed behind the chaotic two, leaving her soaking wet and shivering. “What is  _ wrong _ with them?” 

Mary started laughing into her pillow, and nat threw her pillow at her. “Hey! I’m asleep remember?” 

“You’re not wet.” She said, “And it was your spawn that did this.” 

“We both know that Clint would have doused you anyway.” Mary shot back, sitting up. 

“Ugh. Whatever, I’m going to take a shower. I don’t think this is just water.” 

She grabbed her towel out of the backpack she’d stored in this room last time she was here. Thankfully no one had decided to go through her stuff between thanksgiving and now. No matter what Clint said she did not believe that they bleached the towels after every use. Grabbing her clothing and hair products, she walked to the nearest bathroom, delighted that it was empty. She showered as quickly as possible, trying to avoid getting the blame for when the hot water inevitably gave way. She did her hair and makeup as quickly as she could, and stepped back out with her pajamas folded neatly, not even bothering to remove her hair products. 

“NATASHA!” Clint yelled from down the hallway. “WE NEED YOU TO WAKE UP TONY WITH US!” 

She walked over to the idiot, who was still in the elf onesie she had been trying to dispose of for ages. “Why?” 

“Well, we can’t find him,” Clint said sheepishly. 

“You lost Tony?” She asked, glaring at him. Despite being significantly taller than her, he still sort of shrunk under her glare. 

“Aun’ Tasha!” Peter yelled, running to meet her wearing a Rudolph onesie to go with Clints. “Up?” 

She picked the toddler up wordlessly and continued staring at Clint. “Okay, here’s the thing Tash,” 

“What?” 

“He was  _ chained to the bed _ and asleep above me. I thought I was safe.” 

“This is Tony,” She said. “He builds an AI that reports to the chicken robot what knifes are where in the dorm. I think he can pick a lock.” 

“Well, I’m sorry I don’t have a titanium cage. I’ll use that next time.” He said with a mock glare. She laughed and grabbed his hand, starting her way up to the addice. 

“Okay, let's go find the mini genus. Next time we’re making him sleep in a prison cell,” she said. Clint laughed and followed her, starting up the stairs. 

“Why do you think he’ll be up here?” Clint asked. 

“He’s crazy, but also consistent. You were telling him about the weird add ons. He probably started keeping the house from falling in next time it snows or something.” She explained. 

“Sno?” Peter asked. 

“Yeah. You like snow?” She asked the toddler. Peter nodded his head. 

“There’s a lot by my house. It’s higher then daddy's head.” Peter said, stretching his arms to show her. 

“Wow. Where is your house?” She asked. 

“Um… I dunno. It’s somewere that's vewy cold.” He said, nodding. 

“Oh. Sounds chilly.” She said, “You better wear a scarf when you go back.” She said, shooting a glare at Clint, who was giggling at her interactions with the kid. 

“Found him.” Clint called. “He fell asleep on his laptop.” 

“Well, at least he slept some.” She said, rounding the corner and looking at the slumped teen. 

“Isn’t it bad for teenagers to not sleep or something,” Clint said. 

“It’s bad for everyone.” She said, 

“Can we no’ wake him up?” Peter asked sadly. She was about to confirm when Clint dropped the cup of water on the teen anyway. 

“Clint” 

“You didn’t say I couldn’t.” He defended himself. 

“Well I was about to!” She said exasperated. 

“It’s Christmas Natasha.” He said, 

“Ye! Iz chris’as!” Peter yelled, pumping a fist in the air. She was going to shoot back something snarky when she heard Tony standing up. Immediately she handed Peter back to Clint, who took the child wordlessly and went to check on the teenager. Tony looked fine at first, although maybe a bit shaky and tired. He shot her a wide smile though and went to retrieve his laptop from where Clint had thankfully left it on the counter, saving it from getting doused. 

“Mewwy chris’as T’ny!” Peter shouted from his perch on Clint's shoulders. Clint blew a party horn. 

“I’m so sorry.” She said. Tony laughed. 

0o0o0o

“Peter, honey, we have to go,” Rick said, scooping up her child from where he was icing cookies with Thor and, by extension, Loki. Christmas presents had already been exchanged, and everyone was finding various ways to amuse themselves while awaiting Christmas dinner. 

“Go where?” He asked pouting. Ricked whipped some icing off his face and started hunting for both their shoes. 

“Grandma is very sick, we’re going to go back to Canada to say goodbye to her, okay?” Rick asked. 

“Can I stay hewe?” Peter asked sadly. 

“No buddy, sorry. Why don’t you go say goodbye to everyone and meet me at the front door?"

“Okay,” Peter said, sadly walking around and waving goodbye to various people, only partly cheered by the reassurance that they would meet up again over easter. 

“Peter come on, we’re gonna miss our flight!” Rick called. “Your mom’s already in the car.” 

“Izzokay, i’ll jus stay here.” Peter said, clinging to Natasha. 

“Nice try buddy. I’ll see you over spring break, kay?” Natasha said, disentangling herself and handing the whiny toddler off. 

“Hmph.” Peter huffed, but obediently took his father's hand and allowed himself to be led outside. 

“Bye Peter!” Clint yelled from the chandelier. 

“Clint? What are you doing up there?” Nat yelled, angling her neck up. “Come down. Now.” 

“Natasha-” He starts. Somewhere behind her, one of his brothers very distinctly hit a button on someone's boombox. 

“Clint…” She said, raising an eyebrow as he fumbled to pull out a compact bow he had hidden up there. 

“Will you-” 

“If you say marry me I will stab your eye out while you sleep Clinton, don’t think I won’t,” she said, turning around to ignore his dramatic gasp. She internally winced at the noise of his body colliding with the wooden floor but was determined to not allow anyone the satisfaction, as she was 80% sure it wasn’t accidental, and dismissed herself, off to find out what had Tony and Loki laughing so hard. If both of them found it funny it couldn’t be good. 

“No, you can’t do it my measure, it will sound too clean. It would be more fun to go every half measure.” 

“But then nobody will recognize the song.” 

“Who couldn’t recognize twelve days of Christmas?” 

“I didn’t even know what it was until you played it on repeat.” 

“No, Bucky, what Tony needs to do is-” 

Okay, that was enough. She could handle Bucky and Tony but when Steve was in on it things got worrisome. Because he had been made RA it was easy to forget how truly irresponsible he was. Actually, they had made bucky RA first, because he was always saving Steve’s ass, but he had backed weed into everything to keep people chill enough to not cause any problems, thus the role being handed to Steve. 

“What is going on here?” She asked, rounding the corner to the kitchen to see the three boys freeze. “Steve, I told you to watch Tony.” 

“I was.” Steve defended. 

“And Bucky, I told you to watch Steve.” 

“I am looking right at him.” bucky defended. 

“And Tony… you should know better.” She said, looking at Tony, who was upside down and caught between the fridge and the wall. 

“In my defense, my brain is still developing.” He said. 

“And you already have a higher IQ of all of us combined. As you often remind us,” she said, unfazed by his argument. “Tony, reset whatever you did, Steve and Bucky, go make sure Clint doesn't break his neck getting down from the chandelier. Everything else is okay, but I want him to be able to clean up after himself.” 

“Fine.” they all said Tony grumbling something about how many things he would have to re-wire. Shockingly she was rather unsympathetic and she went back to her bedroom to go read one of the books Clint had bought her. She wasn’t going to lie, he had totally nailed the whole present thing this year. They had all decided to get one person a present, and he had gotten her one of those at home spa things, complete with at least four trashy novels that she adamantly refused she’d read. One was even written in Russian, a perfectly comforting way to read for her. It was like that, still sprawled several hours later across the twin-sized bed, that she got the phone call from CPS.

“Hello? This is Natasha Romanov.” She said, assuming it was a wrong number. 

“Hello Ma’am, my name is Maria Hill, and I am calling on behalf of Mary and Richard Parker’s son Peter Parker.” 

“Sure. What can I do for you,” she said, sitting up and closing her book.

“Ma’am, are you aware that Mary and Richard were on flight 116 from Allegiant airlines, headed to Canada?” The lady asked. 

“Yes, they left a couple hours ago. Did something happen.” she couldn’t deny the panic rising in her chest as the woman spoke. 

“I am afraid that the plane had an emergency crash landing. There were a total of seven survivors in the fully booked flight. I regret to inform you that both Mary and Richard were killed on impact.” The lady spoke cooly and concisely, not letting any emotion penetrate her voice. If she could keep her composure than damn it so could Natasha. 

“And what about Peter?” She asked, trying her level best to keep her voice from shaking. 

“Peter sustained a dislocated elbow and some minor bruising, as well as prematurely losing a baby tooth, but aside from that, he was unharmed in the crash. We are calling to request you to come and take temporary guardianship of the child while we work on finding their wills.” The woman spoke. Despite her resolution, Natasha let out a shaky breath. Peter was alive. 

“Yes Ma’am, I will be there immediately. Do you have an address?” She asked, her voice shaky. 

The woman gave the address of some random hospital and Natasha scribbled it on a post-it note “Would you like for us to contact everyone on their contacts list while you drive Ma’am?” The lady asked. 

“Who else is on it?” She asked. 

“Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, Sam Wilson, uh, we think this one is a mistake, but they believe to have Tony Stark's number.” 

“No, that's real. Uh, yeah, call all of them okay?” She said, “Thank you.” 

“Of course ma’am, we are sorry for your loss.” The lady said. 

“Thank you,” Natasha repeated and hung up. She tossed her phone aside and was met with the brutal image of Mary’s unmade bed, the scarf that she used to tie her hair back still hung from a post. It wasn’t until then that she allowed herself to put her head down and cry. 

“Natasha? Is everything okay?” A voice called immediately, accompanied by a knock on the door. She scrubbed at her face and opened it, met with Thor's concerned face. 

“Get everyone in the car with their stuff. I will explain on the way.” She said finally. “ I will be out there in fifteen minutes, if everyone isn’t out there by then they are getting left behind, understand?” 

Bewildered, Thor nodded, pulling a mute Loki along with him to go collect everyone. Natasha shut the door and began to pack her bags back up. It didn’t take long and soon she was ready to go. Before leaving, however, she stopped in front of Mary’s bed. Several things had been left behind in her rush to say goodbye to her mother and everything was askew. She silently gathered what was left in a tote she found under the bed. Two silk scarves, her green sweater, a book she had been reading, a journal, the last thing made her pause. It was a pile of wrapped presents. Turning the tags over, she saw one addressed to each of them, along with one for peter. Wordlessly she stored them back in the tote and stepped out. 

She didn’t say goodbye to anyone as she walked downstairs, keeping her pace steady, and opened the door. Everyone was already in the car, chatting and laughing together. She stared at her happy faces through the car window for a moment before walking around to sit in the driver seat. Clint was in the passenger side and looked over. She must not have been masking what had happened as well as she had hoped because his face contorted with worry as she pulled out. 

“Natasha? What happened?” 

She took a deep breath before speaking. “It’s Mary and Rick.” 

“What about them?” Clint asked. 

“They’re dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even going to pretend with you, I made myself hate myself for writing this. It made me cry while typing. I was going to say I hope you enjoyed but... I kinda hope you didn't. Still, please comment, death threats are acceptable.


	41. Are we parents now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I like to call this installation, please don't kill me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so damn sorry. 
> 
> You know what, no I'm not.

“Are you here for Peter Parker?” The woman behind the counter asked. Clint nodded a little numbly. He, along with most everyone in the car, had cried almost the entire trip here, but he’d decided that he wouldn’t want to freak Peter out any more than he already was, so he’d done his very best to pull himself together. 

“I didn’t know that Parker was his last name,” Natasha said from his side, leaning on the counter. 

“Yeah. He uh… we… Rick hadn’t wanted to keep his name.” He muttered. “Something about collages turning him down.” 

“Wouldn’t surprise me.” She muttered, playing with a pen left on the counter. “Damn it, what's taking so long.” 

“Okay, you can come back now.” The worker said, gesturing for them to follow them. 

“Thank goodness,” Natasha said, grabbing her backpack and Clints hand, following the nurse without making sure anyone was following. 

“Two at a time.” The lady said, opening the door. Clint walked in slowly, followed by Natasha. 

He immediately softened at the sight of the toddler. He was seated on an exam table, swinging his legs slightly while staring blankly at the wall, toying with the fabric sling his left arm rested in. The paper surrounding him had been ripped all over and was bunched strangely in one corner, making Clint think Peter might have been sitting there for a while. While he froze at the sight of the child, Natasha didn’t.

Crossing the room in two steps she was in front of the kid, kneeling so as to look him in the eye better. She made no effort to look at her. 

“Peter?” She asked. He lifted his head slightly, but otherwise gave no indication of having heard her. “Buddy, we’re gonna take you home with us, alright?” 

He nodded, sniffing slightly. “I don’ hafe my stuff.” He said, lisping his words a little with his missing tooth. 

“That's okay, we’ll buy you new stuff.” It was a little unnerving to see Natasha around little kids. Fifteen minutes ago she had been crying so hard she could barley park, but as soon as a kid needed her she could mask any and all emotions. 

“I wike my ol’ stuff tho.” Peter said remorsefully. “Bubbles die.” 

“Well, I am sure someone would be happy to mail us all your old stuff. You just need new stuff for a little bit, kay?” She said. 

Peter nodded again, before hugging her tightly. She stood up, now holding the remorse toddler, and bounced him up and down on her hip a bit. “Peter, look, uncle Clint is here to.” She said. 

Peter un-buried his face from her neck to look at Clint, smiling a tiny bit when he saw him. “Uncl’ Cwint?” 

“Hey, Peter!” He said, Unlike Natasha, his voice shook a little when he spoke. 

“Der was a big fire,” Peter said sadly. “Everything was really hot.” 

“I know bud. How about we start our way home and then you can get all clean, okay?” He said. Peter nodded and the worker, who had been observing them, cleared her throat. 

“Uh, we need one of you to sign a temporary release form that states you take full responsibility of the child.” The nurse said. Natasha nodded to him. If possible she avoided signing legal documents, one of her quirks growing up with her father. He stepped out into the hallway to sign the small stack of forms, and just like that, they were released. 

“We going back to da big house?” Peter asked sadly. 

“No, we’re going back to the dorms, where we all live,” Nat said, bouncing the kid. Peter nodded his head, too upset to really think over what she told him. 

“Kay. We not flying der, are we?” He asked, sudden anxiety in his voice. 

“No honey, we aren't gonna fly anywhere, okay? We’ll stay grounded as long as you like.” She said kindly. The toddler relaxed slightly, still keeping Nat's sweater in a vice grip.

“No planes?” Peter asked again. 

“I promise.” Natasha said, “We’ll take our big car, okay?” 

“Can I sit in Cwints lap?” Peter asked quietly. 

Natasha smiled and nodded, raising an eyebrow in question at Clint over the child's head. Clint nodded his approval. 

“Das good,” Peter said. They continued walking to the waiting room in silence, interrupted occasionally by Peter sniffling. Their friends stood immediately when they walked in, sharing an anxious expression. Natasha gave a thumbs up to them and continued out to the car. 

“Don’t children need, like, car seats or something?” Thor said. 

“Eh. Me and Steve lived.” Bucky said dully. 

They got in the car, Clint climbing into the back seat upon Natasha’s instruction. She handed him Peter, who switched his death grip from Natasha’s sweater to Clint’s hoodie, and proceeded to curl into as small a ball the seat would allow. Natasha squeezed next to him, grabbing Tony by his jacket sleeve and pulling him next to them, taking advantage of there lack of seatbelts. 

“I’m keeping an eye on you.” She whispered to Tony. 

“Great,” Tony whispered back. 

“Do we have everyone?” Sam asked. Hearing no protests, he turned the key, starting the car up. Immediately, Peter tightened his grip against Clint, leaning away from the noise.Clint could felt the motor vibrate against his back. In the back row, they were basically leaning against it. 

“Peter?” He asked as the car backed out. “What's wrong?” 

“Pwease don’t let the ca' cwash,” Peter whispered, pressing against him as hard as he could with his tiny little body. Unsure about what to do, he shot a panicked glance at Natasha, who thankfully understood what he was trying to communicate. 

“Peter honey, we won’t let it crash. Tony helped us update it. Remember those photos I showed you of everything he built.” She said, speaking with a smile, while somehow managing to elbow Tony in the ribs hard enough to make him wheeze. 

“He di’?” Peter asked, peeking over Clint's arm to stare at them. Natasha pinched Tony's arm so it was just visible to Clint. 

“Yeah, I did,” Tony said, at least making an attempt to sound reassuring for him. 

“Iz no’ gonna crash?” He whispered. 

“Nothing I work on crashes,” Tony said. “Not unless it was made to.” 

“An dis iznt?” Peter whispered. 

“No,” Tony said. “In fact, just to be safe, I’ll make sure that everything I make from now on is made to not crash.” 

“Tank you T’ny.” Peter said, curling back into Clint. Thankfully he dropped off a couple of minutes after that, still curled up tightly. 

0o0o0o 

“I mean, do you know how to handle a depressed toddler?” Clint asked. 

“He isn’t depressed, Clint. He’s parents just died. It’s a pretty normal reaction.” Natasha said, speaking in a low murmur so as to not wake any of the other passengers. Tony had thankfully also fallen asleep, his head resting on the window, and everyone had been pretty close behind him, leaving them with Sam, who had earbuds in under his headphones. 

“But still. A grieving toddler might not be much easier.” Clint said, playing with Peter's hair. It was a little long, he should probably take him in for a haircut. Not that he knew where little kids got their hair cut. 

“That's true. Speaking of, are you going to talk to Thor and Loki about…” Natasha said, gesturing. 

“Are you insane? Natasha, Loki is out of the hospital from a suicide attempt prematurely, and the only time Thor stopped crying after hearing about what happened was when he fell asleep. If I tell them now they'll fall apart.” 

“The longer you drag it out the worse it’s gonna be,” Nat said matter of factly, detangling Tony’s hair as she spoke, making the teenager pull a face in his sleep. 

“How about this, I’ll tell them before the year is over, how’s that?” He asked. 

“You will tell them before then Clint or I will personally deliver the footage that Tony has of their mother to them.” She threatened. Clint fell silent after that, 

“You know,” she said after several minutes of silence. “You’re doing pretty amazing given what happened,” she said. 

“I dunno about that.” He whispered back. “I think I already gave him emotional trauma and I’ve had him for twenty minutes.” 

“No, I think that was the plane crash,” Natasha said. “Still, given everything, you’re holding up pretty well.” 

“You know…” He said, absently playing with Peter's hair, “Rick… he always said he’d die first.” 

“He did?” Natasha asked quietly. 

“Yeah. We were playing outside one day and he just kinda looked at our mom and said ‘I don’t think I’ll live to be thirty.’” He said, “Scared our mother half to death.” 

“I’m sure. How old were you?” She asked. 

“I dunno. I think seven and nine or something like that.” He said, “Eventually he forgot about it, but still whenever I mentioned something about him being old he would give me a funny look.” 

“Like he knew?” She asked. He nodded, not trusting his voice anymore. “I’m so sorry Clint.” She whispered, rubbing his arm. He shot her a shaky smile to show his gratitude. 

“Thanks, Tash.” He whispered. 

“You should probably sleep, it’ll be a long ride back.” She said. 

“I think I’ll stay up. I’m worried about nightmares for Peter.” He replied, shifting slightly so the dozing toddler wasn’t quite so tightly coiled. 

“Suit yourself.” She said, resting her head on his shoulder. “Goodnight Clint.” 

“Night Tasha.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, whoever made the voodoo doll of me and is plaguing it with every illness known to mankind, first off, fair, second, can you please stop? Everything hurts.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a filler chapter, but it has baby Peter, so I'm hoping you'll read anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!!

Clint ended up rather thankful he had decided to not fall asleep like Natasha had. For one, it meant that he could enjoy Natasha sleeping on him, which was absolutely adorable, he had photos to prove it, but also because within the first two hours, Peter woke up again. 

“Uncl’ Cwint?” Peter whimpered upon opening his eyes. 

“Hey, Buddy.” He said, sitting up a little. “You’re awake huh?” 

“Yea,” Peter whispered looking down. 

“Are you hungry?” He asked, realizing that Peter would, at some point, probably need food. 

“No.” Peter said, keeping his head down. “I saw dem again,” He whispered. 

“Saw who Pete?” He asked. 

“Mama and daddy,” Peter said, looking at Clint with tear-filled eyes. “Day were on da plane wif me again.” 

Clint hugged the little boy to his chest upon hearing those words, trying his best to comfort him. “I’m so sorry bud.” 

“It was vewy hot der and evererwone was scared,” Peter said, his tiny body shaking. 

“Shh, you’re okay here Petey.” He said, bouncing the child a little to try and comfort him. “Nothings gonna crash here.” 

“I wish I coul’ go home.” He said remosly. 

“I know buddy. I wish you could go home too.” He said, Peter continued to cry into his hoodie, not seeming to calm down at all. To his credit he was able to cry awfully quietly, letting most of the car remain asleep. Ever the polite toddler. 

“Is something wrong?” Natasha said, lifting her head off Clints shoulder. 

“Peter had a nightmare.” He explained. She bit her lip, nodding in understanding. 

“Peter, buddy? What's wrong?” she asked, removing one of his clenched hands from Clints cloths to hold. 

“Scawy dream.” Peter said, lowering his eyes. 

“Oh no. Can you tell me and uncle Clint about it?” She asked, glancing at Clint worriedly. 

“I was back on da pwane and it was vewy loud an’ I didn’t know how to make it quiet.” Peter said sadly. “And evewyone was vewy scawred.” 

“I’m so sorry you had such a bad dream, Peter. Would it help to play with my phone?” She asked, earning a glance from Peter. 

“Phon?” He said, cocking his head to the side. 

“Yeah. I can get some fun games for you to play with.” She said, “What do you want?” 

“Maff v.s. Zoombi!” Peter said, smiling at the prospect. Natasha’s thumbs flew across her keypad and she showed him the game in the AppStore. 

“This one? I think it’s for bigger kids.” She said. 

“Dat one!” Peter said, his tears almost completely forgotten. Nat downloaded the game and handed the phone over. 

“Here you go.” She said, 

“Tank you!” He said happily, tapping away at the screen. She winked at him before lowering her head on his shoulder again. 

He watched Peter play for a minute. He navigated the title screen easily, making him think that this game was one he was familiar with, at least to some degree. He quickly selected the game he was looking for and started playing. Clint was surprised at the speed and accuracy with which Peter solved the problems. He tapped away at the numbers, only hesitating slightly with the long division ones. He remembered his brother mentioning something about Peter being a smart kid, but he hadn’t mentioned a near-perfect mastery of his time's tables. 

“Do you like that game Peter?” He asked, watching the toddler stick his tongue out as he answered one of the more difficult problems. 

“Yes.” Peter said. “I wike the problems, but da zooobies are a wittle scawy.” Peter said, pointing to the zombie trying to make its way to Peters character with a 12 x 30 over its head. “Das okay tho, it help me solve them in time.” 

“You must be really smart at math if you can do that,” he said. 

“No, my teacher think i'm faking.” He said, tilting his head down. “He took away the game from de Ipad in daycare. But I still play at home.” 

“Well, that wasn’t very nice of him. You can play at the dorms though, alright?” He said, grinning as the toddler got a particularly difficult problem. 

“Tank you.” Peter said, grinning at him. “Oh no! Zoobies!” He said, trying to regain control of his game. He taped out at least seven answers in quick succession, letting out a sigh of relief when the level was over. 

“Well done Peter.” He said with a smile. “I have a feeling you and Tony are gonna be friends.” 

“You tink so?” Peter asked, clearly lighting up at the idea. “I saw some tings he build when I was watching TV at daycare. Day were super cool.” Peter said. “I wanna build wike dat someday.” Clint couldn’t help but laugh at that. He could understand how cool Tony seemed to an outsider, but the manic genius only appeared dysfunctional close-up. 

“I know so. I’ll have him show you some of the things he built in a couple of days.” He said, 

“Wow.” Peter sighed. “I bet mama would have luved dat.” The toddler said, looking down. “I tink I’m done pwaying for now. You can gibe dis back to Aun’ Tasha when she wake up. Tell her tank you.” Peter said, clicking off the phone and handing it to the bewildered Clint. 

“Are you sure? She won’t mind you using it for longer.” Clint reassured, holding the phone back out.

“Yes. I tink… I tink I’ll sweep again.” Peter said, curling up. 

“Alright buddy, do what you want to. I’ll be here when you get up.” He assured. Peter nodded daily before drifting off. Clint wasn’t far behind. 

0o0o0o

Loki woke up to being shoved off something warm, and onto a very cold, hard floor. He pressed his lips together, opening his eyes to see what had happened. Thor had apparently rolled over in his sleep, yanking his cuffed arm right along with him. The handcuffs had been… inconvenient for him. He could understand why his brother felt the need to keep an eye on him, but it wasn’t as if he could slit his throat with a plastic fork. He wasn’t Bucky. 

Just to test, he tried pulling lightly on the cuffs, not bothering to get off the floor. There was more room down there anyway. It wasn’t hard to get his wrist out. Like before, he had been wearing a hoodie and a watch on his wrist when they had done the handcuffs, so it only took a little bit of shimmying to get out. Almost immediately, the car started beeping. 

“What the…” Sam said, pulling over to the side of the road. 

“Unauthorized removal of handcuffs.” a voice said, cutting through the beeping noise. 

“Disengage,” Tony said sleepily. Almost instantly the alarm cut off, leaving them with ringing ears. Miraculously, Tony Nat and Bruce seemed to be the only ones who had woken up. “Loki put the handcuffs back on.” 

Shocked, he obeyed, sliding his hand through the look. “What was that?” He asked. 

“Jarvis. Don’t worry about it.” He said. 

“Aw hell no, you are explaining this right now,” Natasha said, glaring at Tony. He gave a long-suffering sigh before sitting up and rubbing his eyes. 

“So I made an AI a couple of weeks ago, and I have been wiring it into the speakers and microphones already in the building and car because whenever I make bodies for my robots, you guys get freaked. Anyway, I put sensors in the handcuffs so that if they lost either of their heat signatures and pulses it would alert us.” Tony said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

“That is… incredibly disturbing.” Bruce said. 

“But at least he’s using his power for good,” Natasha said. “Or… mostly good.” 

“Sure, that's the spirit. Using his unlimited power for mostly good.” Bucky popped up. 

“When did you wake up?” Bruce asked. 

“I’ve been awake. I was contemplating the meaning of death when the alarm scared me.” He said Loki forgot that Bucky was weird about that kind of thing. 

“He was playing clash royale on his phone,” Tony said. 

“I can contemplate the meaning of death and play clash royale at the same time, thank you very much,” Bucky said. “Can we get back the omnipotent AI in the car?” 

“It’s not technically omnipotent, but good try,” Tony said, tapping something rapidly on his phone. “And Jarvis is in the dorms too.” 

“Oh, great. That's great.” Bucky said. “Have none of you seen a horror movie?” 

“Does your face count?” Tony shot back. 

“Enough. Bucky shush, Tony, just, keep your mouth closed for the rest of the trip, alright. Why are you still on the floor Loki?” Natasha asked, rubbing her head. 

He shrugged by way of an answer. 

“Good, then get back on the seat and don’t even think about taking your handcuffs back off.” She said. He obeyed instinctively, shoving Thor around to create room for himself. 

It was several hours of silence before anything remotely interesting happened, which he spent most of snapping her girlfriend as inconspicuous as possible. But eventually, they did make it back to the dorms. 

Natasha carried Peter, being careful of his sling, and he followed Thor, being as bored as ever when suddenly he slammed into Thor's back. “Ow.” 

He tried to take a side step to see what was going on. Seated in the middle of the dorm’s crappy ancient sofa, Ricky, Natasha's boyfriend was sitting, scowling at all of them and holding a gun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say real quick, the fact that I have over 5000 reads on this story is stunning to me. I still can't believe any of you put up with my writing, let alone enjoy it. I seriously can't thank you all enough, especially those who have been faithful and commenting on every chapter. You guys mean the world to me, so thank you so much for reading. 
> 
> also, I was serious about the voodoo doll thing from last chapter. Cut it out.


	43. Rooty tootie point and shootie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it! It's kinda short, sorry bout that.

Natasha froze, seeing Ricky in the living room. “Clint.” She said, keeping her voice level to keep Pet calm. “Would you take Peter and go back to your dorm please?” 

For Clint's part, he did listen to her, although he looked incredibly torn. Thankfully he made it out of the room with Peter pretty fast though. She didn’t want to think about what he would have done had they not been with the toddler. She didn’t pay attention to where others went, but they made themselves scarce. 

“Ricky, what are you doing here?” She said once she was satisfied that they were mostly alone. 

“Where the hell have you been? You said you were coming to my apartment.” He said, his voice lisping slightly from his split tongue. 

“Listen, I know I did, I had something unexpected pop up. I texted you, remember?” She said, She had texted him. 

“One measly text? Are you serious Natasha?” He asked, waving the gun he was holding. 

“Put that down, we both know you aren't gonna shoot me.” She said with a sigh. He glared at her, not lowering the gun. “Ricky, you have three assult charges pending and you know I know enough that you wouldn’t kill me. All that would happen is you would get a longer jail sentence.” 

“Fine.” He spat, throwing the gun across the room. “You happy?” 

“No I’m not happy. You can’t just show up here with a gun. If you want to talk to me then come find me, but don’t threaten my friends.” She said, taking a bold step closer to him. He wasn’t frightening to her, despite his exterior.

“Yeah, your friends.” He scoffed. “You know, I’m starting to think you care about them more then you care about  _ me _ .” 

“Well they don’t show up ready to shoot me for not telling them beforehand that I thought I might get kidnapped, so they might be pulling ahead.” She said, trying her hardest to regulate her volume. 

“It’s not too much to expect you to come back when you say you will.” He spat. 

“My friends were in the hospital. That will always take priority.”

“ _ I’m _ your boyfriend, you should be spending your holidays with  _ me _ .” He said, stepping forward to yell right in her face. 

“That’s not gonna happen Ricky. Listen, on of my best friends brother just died  _ today _ , I am trying to help him take care of his brothers child, who was there when it happened, and I have two teenagers in this dorm who were just released AMA from the hospital, one for a suicide attempt, I can’t spend every second on you.” She said, drawing herself up. “Now, get out.” 

“What?” He scoffed. “You can't kick me out.” 

“Yes I can. Leave or your family won’t find your body,” she said. She tried her best to avoid too many death threats, they could come off as tacky, but he was really pushing her buttons. 

“You live with me, you’ll have nowhere to go.” He argued. 

“You have ten seconds to get out of this room.” She said, dropping her voice and making her tone icey. She watched him while counting down in her head. At three, he sprang forward, lunging at her throat. 

Surprised, she dropped down, letting his weight carry him past her. She spun around to remove him from the dorm but was apparently beaten to it. Clint had, of course, listened to the whole thing, and somehow managed to put himself between them before either could recover. She stood up, allowing Clint to drag him out into the hallway. 

Once they were out she sunk to the floor, rubbing her shoulder, which had taken the majority of the impact from her fall. She didn’t lift her head when she heard various doors slamming in the hallway, until she heard someone, presumably Clint, re-enter the room. 

“He’s gone.” Clint said, stating the obvious. “Are you okay?” 

She rolled her shoulders, checking herself over mentally for a moment. “Yeah, just bumped my shoulder a bit.” 

“Good.” He said, before abruptly grabbing her by the shoulders and hugging her. “He won’t be coming back.” 

“He better not, I have a gun with his name on it.” She muttered. “Should have grabbed it.” 

“Wait, you literally have a gun with his name on it?” He asked. 

“Yeah, he bought it for me.” She said, Clint laughed at that, and finally let her go, much to her relief. She scanned him visually for any injuries and was satisfied when he appeared mostly okay. 

“We should…” Clint started. 

“Wait, who has Peter?” She asked, turning around. 

“Um…” the client said. “So don’t kill me.” 

“Who did you give Peter to?” She asked again. 

“Welease de wobots!” Peters voice yelled, followed by a flurry of motion. Three or four bug-esc robots scurried into the room, followed by Peter, wearing a paper crown that sait ‘Robot King’ on it. 

“You gave him to Tony?” She asked, turning around to look at Clint, who was rubbing his neck sheepishly. 

“I didn’t want you to get hurt!” He said, “And Tony was right there, and did you know that Peter loves Tony? He’s seen him on the news and everything.” 

“Yeah, because unlike you, the three-year-old pays attention to current events.” She said, “Oh my goodness he could have died.” 

“Do you mean Peter or Tony?” Clint asked. 

“Yes. Tony get in here!” She yelled. Tony appeared moments later, face already smudged with oil. 

“In my defense, Peter helped me build them,” Tony said. “He’s crazy smart, he already knew how the wires and everything worked.” 

“Yeah, okay, but how about no robots around toddlers for now, okay?” She said, Tony just smirked and turned around, leaving the room with Peter on his heels. 

“Listen, they both lived,” Clint said, holding up his hands. 

“Just because no one died doesn't mean it’s okay.” She replied, sitting on the sofa. 

“Do you think we need to worry about Ricky coming back? I mean, he managed to make it into the dorms without a key once already, who’s to say that anything will stop him again?” He asked. 

“No, I don’t think he will. He’s not usually confrontational.” She said, rolling her shoulder again. It was gonna be stiff for a couple days still. 

“But he was tonight.” Clint pointed out. “I’ll talk to Tony about it. He already has a face ID for a bunch of people entering or leaving without permission.” 

“He does?” She asked. 

“It’s not as creepy as it sounds, I swear,” Clint said. “Do you want me to look at your shoulder?” 

“No, it’s seriously okay, I just fell on it funny.” She said, smiling at his concerned face. “We should go get Peter though.” 

“Actually, I should get Tony, because I think Bucky got shot,” Clint said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“He  _ what _ ?” She asked. “ _ When _ ? We just got back!” 

“Um, in the parking lot, about three minutes ago. Ricky had another gun. I mean, they’re handling him just fine but still. It was in his metal arm though, so it’s fine.” Clint said. “But the arm is beeping and smoking a little so…” 

“Yeah, you go get Tony, and make sure Steve is okay, I’ll handle Peter.” She said, “They should be in the lab, head out to Bucky and I’ll send Tony down.” 

“Okay. Watch your shoulder though.” He said. She rolled her eyes and continued down the hall, ascending the stairs and pulling the door to Tony's lab open. 

“Tony? Bucky needs you to look at his arm. He said it’s beeping a bunch and kinda smokey.” She explained. “Where’s Peter?” 

“He should be here somewhere,” Tony said, looking around the lab. “Uh, I’ll go look at his arm. If it is what I think it is I might have to defuse something.” 

“Okay, go take care of that.” She said, “And this is the last time you’re watching Peter.” 

“Understood.” He said, grabbing a random toolbox and practically sprinting out the door, leaving her to try and find the rouge toddler. 

“Peter? You in here?” She called. There were a couple of clanging noises before Peter appeared from behind a counter. 

“Aun’ Tasha?” He asked, sounding scared. 

“Hey Peter!” She said, kneeling down. The metal ground wasn’t particularly nice to sit on, but she didn’t really mind at the moment. “I was looking all over for you.” 

Peter, for his part, gave a running jump to hug her around her neck, not the best place to hug but alright. “Dat wazzn’t fun.” He said sincerely. 

“What wasn’t fun honey?” She asked. 

“You weaving. Didn’t wike it.” He explained, not letting go of her neck. 

“I’m sorry honey, I’ll try my best to stay here for now, okay?” She said. Peter nodded a little, still clinging to her. “Now how about we go see Tony try and fix Bucky's arm, alright?” She said, 

“Bubby arm?” He asked, interested again. 

“Yeah, remember his metal arm?” She said, 

“Oh yeah. That’z cool.” Peter said, sniffing. 

“Yeah, you wanna go see what they’re doing then?” She asked. 

“Okay. But you stay here?” He questioned. 

“Of course Peter.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, baby Peter is murder on spell-check. Hope you enjoyed, PLEASE comment, they make me literally leap with joy.


	44. IT'S A PRANK TIME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KFHJVJHBASIUF I love all of you!!! Please enjoy!!

“So I wanna prank someone.” Steve said. There might be a better way to get Bucky’s attention, but not one he knew of. 

“ _ What? _ Who? Why? How can I help?” he asked, spinning himself so he was sitting upright on Steve’s bed. Tony had sense done something crazy with his arm to fix it, which involved several tense wire cuttings and replacing a solid chunk of it. 

“Clint and Natasha.” He said, He swore his jaw would hit the floor. 

“Are you  _ suicidal _ ? Even I won’t prank Natasha. Hell, Loki wouldn’t and he’s still actively trying to die.” He said, earning him a glare. 

“Okay, hear me out though,” Steve said, sitting next to him. “They were asking about the logistics of keeping a child in the dorms, and the official rules were written in 1875.” Steve said, as if that carried any kind of weight for Bucky. 

“Okay…” 

“In the first draft, no child that was conceived out of wedlock could be keeped by a single parent in the dorms, regardless of their biological parentage. They were required by the law to the-draft the rules so that single parents could keep their children and attend MIT.” Steve explained. 

“I still don’t see how this…” Bucky started. 

“But Clint and Nat have no way of knowing about the re-draft. I already had Toni delete some of the digital files, and the physical copies are keeped in the headmasters office.” Steve said. 

“Wait, are you sudjusting-” 

“That we tell them that they are legally obligated to get married or forfeit Peter? Yes I am.” Steve said with a devious grin. 

“I keep forgetting what a little shit you are while you’re RA.” Bucky said, laughing. 

“Is that a yes?” Steve asked eagerly, perking up. 

“It’s a hell yes! What do you need me to do?” 

“Just nod and smile, alright. Oh! And if you see them together,  _ do not make jokes about them getting married _ . If they think we’ve forgotten they’re more likely to go through with it.” Steve said, grinning. 

“On it.” He said, “Are we looping anyone else in?” 

“Tony already knows, it’s pointless to try and hide anything from him… I’m undecided on Thor and Loki though.” Steve said. 

“Tell Loki, not Thor. I love the guy but he couldn’t keep a secret to save his life.” He said, “How ‘bout Sam and Bruce.” 

“No. They’re both too afraid of Natasha. And Clint for that matter, what with the bow and everything.” Steve explained. “I still maintain that he shot me in the head.” 

“And I still maintain that shooting the hat off doesn't count as shooting someone in the head.” Clint’s voice echoed through the vents. 

“See! This is why people are scared of you!” Bucky yelled. Clint either didn’t hear or chose not to respond, because the vents stayed silent. “Great.” 

“Do you think he heard the whole thing?” Steve asked. 

“I doubt it. He would have yelled something earlier.” bucky assured. “Jeeze, nothing is safe in this house, is it?” 

“I thought you had figured that out already.” Steve retorted. 

“Well when I woke up with a new arm I kinda got the hint. Still, I’d like to have some faith in these people.” 

“But you’re with me on lying to our friends to make them get engaged?” Steve asked. 

“Duh.” 

0o0o0o

“Aun’ Tasha?” Peter asked. “Where is bwuth?” 

“Where is who honey?” Natasha asked, leaning down from Clints bed to talk with Peter. He of course, didn’t mind at all that his room had been taken over. 

“Bwuth!” Peter said with a smile. 

“Uh,” Natasha said, looking at Clint. 

“Hey Peter?” Clint said, sliding off the bed to sit next to the toddler. “Do you mean Bruce?” 

Peter nodded enthusiastically. “I waz wooking for him becau’ I was gonna gibe him somfing cool I foun.” 

Natasha made a slicing motion over her throat, making him remember the conversation they had had about never letting Bruce around toddlers again. “Uh, I think he’s in class. You could take it to Tony though.” 

He could see Natasha facepalm in his peripheral vision. “You tink he wouldn’t mind?” Peter asked. 

“Oh I doubt it. Come on, let's go find him.” Clint said. Peter nodded, and Clint needed no more insensitive to scoop the kid up, running out of the room. “We’ll be back Tash!” He yelled over his shoulder. 

They made it up the stairs in pretty good time, him sprinting the whole way for Peters amusement. He was barley winded when he got to the lab and swung the door open. Tony jolted his head up, elbows deep in some kind of contraption. 

“Tn’y!” Peter shouted. “Wook at what I found!” 

Clint let the toddler down, allowing him to run across the lab to Tony, who, for his part, only looked mildly worried about what the kid stepped on. Hopefully with a child, or younger child, in the dorm he had at least decreased the number of explosives. 

Peter reached his destination, where Tony was currently trying to wipe off all the motor oil he could, and fished around in his pocket for something. 

“I foun’ it at da’ field with all da smoke.” Peter said happily, opening his fist to show Tony something. Clint couldn’t see from there what Peter was showing Tony, but the fifteen-year-old immediately paled, and hugged Peter quickly before waving Clint over. “I tink iz from a unico’n.” 

“What is it?” He asked, walking to meet them. 

“I think it's part of a femur.” Tony whispered. 

“Iza unico’n horn.” Peter insisted. “See, I wrapped it in mamas scarf. Do you think we can give it back to da unico’n?” 

“Uh…” Clint staired. “Are you sure it’s bone?” He asked Tony.

“Positive. Judging on the length I’d say femur, but it could be humorous too.” Tony said. “He said he found it in the crash.” 

“Hey bug,” He said, tapping Peter on his shoulder so he turned around. “Where exactly did you find your unicorn horn?” 

Peter tapped his head for a moment, looking at him with large brown eyes. “It waz in da big field. Der was a lotta smoke and it waz vewy quiet.” He said thoughtfully. “Dey where tewwing me to wook for mommy and daddy but I couldn’t find dem.” 

“Was that when you found it?” He asked, looking at the sharp shard in the toddlers hand. 

“No. I waz wooking and wooking for dem, and my arm hurt weally bad, das why iz in da swing, but den I twipped and fell and it stabbed me.” 

“The bone stabbed you?” Tony asked, suddenly very concerned. Clint cocked his head at Tony, trying to figure out what the worry was for. 

“Yes. It stabbed me right in da foot. But it onwy hurt for a wittle, so i didn’t tell da hospital.” Peter explained. “Then I wook down and der’s a unico’n horn.”

“Did your foot bleed at all?” Tony asked. 

“Uh, it was weally dark, I couldn’t see vewy well.” Peter said. “It was all sunny, and den it just go dark and der wearry loud noises.” 

“Can I make sure the unicorn didn’t hurt your foot?” Tony asked. Peter nodded and the teen checked his bare foot. “Okay, you’re all good.” 

“Das good. I tink I should weave da horn with you T’ny, so you can gibe it back to da unico’n.” Peter said. “Aunt ‘Tasha is waiting, and we don’ wanna make her upset.”

Tony nodded at Clint before repliying. “You know, I think that is a smart idea. I want to make sure it goes to the right unicorn.” 

“Yes.” Peter said, before grabbing Clints hand and turning to walk away. “Now we go find Aunt ‘tasha.” 

“Okay Peter.” Clint said, picking up the toddler when they got to the stairs. Withen a minute they where back in Clints dorm, finding Natasha looking at her phone in annoyance. 

“Aunt ‘tasha, guess wha?” Peter said. 

“What Peter?” She said. 

“We gabe T’ny da unico’n horn an he said he’ll try ta get it back to da unico’n.” Peter said happily. 

“Well that seems like a good thing.” She said smiling. 

“Whats up with your phone?” Clint asked, sensing she was upset about something. 

“Ugh. I’m trying to get Peter aproved to have his own bed in the dorms but the campus is being really difficult about it. Steve sent me some ancient rule about children ‘born out of wedlock’ or something.” She said, making air quotes. “Apparently we aren’t allowed to both be legal guardians over Peter if we aren't married.” 

“What? That's ridiculous.” Clint said. “And it sounds illegal. I bet we could get Tony to sue them for that.” 

“Bet again. It was completely legal when it was written.” She said, 

“Well what if only one of us was his legal guardian and the other one was unofficial?” Clint offered. 

“But then we’d need to go through the court. Remember, Richard called you Peter's guardian and Mary named me.” Natasha said. 

“Go figure Rich would find a way to mess with our lives even after death.” Clint said, smiling a bit at the bittersweet thought. 

“What if we got married… platonically.” Natasha said. “Like, we’re legally married but our relationship doesn't change at all.” 

“Wouldn’t Ricky be upset about that?” Clint asked. 

“I mean, I haven’t heard from him since he showed up here, I’m gonna say he doesn't get a say.” She said, reaching for her container of Minute Rice. “Plus, it’s a platonic marriage.” 

“Is that even a thing?” He asked, grabbing Bucky’s knife out of Peters hand. 

“Uh, well I read one story because I was trying to set Steve up about how this one guy married his friend who was a girl and kept a relationship with his boyfriend. But because it was the forties he needed a cover.” 

“Why were you reading that to set Steve up?” He asked. 

“You’ve met him and Bucky, right?” She said, “I don’t know what’s going on with them, but there’s no way it’s platonic.” 

“Ha. So we could seriously get married platonically?” Clint asked. 

“I mean, I’d rather that then leave Peter to you completely.” Nat said. 

“I’m flattered.” 

“Un’le cwint? I foun’ someting.” Peter said, looking under Buckys bed. 

“WHATEVER IT IS DON’T TOUCH IT!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's DEFFENETLY platonic NOTHING ROMANTIC HERE TO SEE AT ALL FOKES!!!
> 
> *Narrators voice* It was not, in fact, platonic.


	45. Ten pound ball of underwear and other angst.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I like to call this chapter, I'm so damn sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HeEhEeHeE You have no idea how long I've been sitting on this idea ya'll.

“Peter, put that down.” Natasha said, tapping furiously on her phone. 

“Wook what I found.” Peter yelled, holding up something that looked like a bouncy ball. 

“Oh, ew, Peter no, that's yucky.” Clint said, reaching for it. 

“What does he have Clint?” she asked. 

“Okay, so me any Bucky thought it would be funny to uh, well, there was this lady on Etsy and they were advertising that they had a ten-pound ball of underwear so…” Clint said, grabbing it and putting it on top of the dresser.

“Wait… what?” Natasha said. “I thought you owned one pair of underwear.”

“Well we actually tried to wear them, but they must have used some crazy kinda glue because we couldn’t peel them off.” 

“Okay just… stop talking.” Natasha said. “I’m going to the store alright, please keep you and Peter alive for me.” 

“No promises.” He said laughing. She rolled her eyes and got up. 

“Aunt ‘Tasha, go wif?” Peter asked sadly. 

“Not this time Peter, but maybe you and Clint can do something fun while you’re here, okay?” She asked. Clint nodded from the bed. 

“Okay. Will I see you later?” Peter asked again. 

“Of course you will. I’ll only be gone for half an hour at most.” She said, “Go play with Clint please.” 

“Alwite.” Peter said, attempting to climb onto the bed with Clint. She didn’t stay in the room long enough to see how he faired trying to get him up. 

She wasn;t even out of the dorms before she got a call. She’d intended to ignore it, but the caller ID wasn’t one she recognized, and what with her fathers ‘job’ she’d learned to always pick those calls up. 

“Hello?” She asked, answering it. 

“Natasha?” The voice asked. “It’s Ricky.” 

“How the hell did you get my number?” She asked, ready to hang up. 

“Nonono wait.” He said, 

“What do you want?” She asked, stepping out of the building and making her way to the bus stop. 

“I heard you’re dating that weird guy in your dorms,” Ricky said. “We haven't even broken up yet.” 

“You’re gonna need to be more specific. And when you pulled a gun on me and shot my friend I thought it would be pretty clear things were over.” 

“You know the guy I’m talking about, don’t try and deny it.” 

“No clue. Now if you are finished…” She said, turning her phone on to hang up. 

“So that’s it? You ignore me over Christmas, dump me when things get a little rocky, and then go crawling to the first guy to talk to you afterward?” 

“My love life is none of your business Ricky, you aren't in it. Goodbye.” She said, ignoring him screaming about revenge on the other line and hanging up. She tactfully ignored the concerned glances of her fellow passengers and got off at her stop. 

She was barely through the doors when her phone started blowing up. She took it out, hoping to not see Ricky's new number. 

**_MIT is in a hard lockdown. We have confirmed one student death and at least two injuries. No students or faculty in or out of the building. We will be updating you as we gather information._ **

The schools tweet was followed up by dozens of students sharing the information they had, which wasn’t much and varied widely, but the general consensus was that there was a building that had collapsed with students inside. She snapped her head up, seeing there was already news coverage playing on the mini TV near the restrooms. She’d already dialed Clints number before she was out the doors, making her way to the bus stop. 

“Aun’ Tasha?” Peters voice cracked through the phone, broken up by poor connection. 

“Peter?” She asked. “Hi honey, where are you right now?” 

“Uh… I waz in da gym.” Peter said. 

“Peter, do you see Clint anywhere?” She asked. 

“Uh, I can see him, but I can’t weach him.” Peter said. “He’z gotta ba’ass scar.” 

“What? Who taught you that word?” 

“Bubby said it mean cool.” Peter said. 

“Alright, can you just try to put Clint on the line please?” She asked, putting her head in her hands. There was some loud rustling, and a few scraping noises before she heard Clint’s voice come through. 

“He-ey Tash.” He said, His voice sounded tight through the phone, but it was hard to tell with the server breaking up. 

“Clint? Where are you? Is everyone okay? Do you know who died?” she asked, feeling relief fill her to hear him talk. 

“Yeah, um, okay listen, don’t freak out. Are you back on campus yet?” 

“They locked me out. Where are you?” She said again. 

“Um, well it’s a good thing you called, Peter was a little too freaked out to call anyone. Um, okay, so we uh, we were at the gym so Peter could play on the gymnastics equipment…” Clint said, cut off by a high pitched squeal. 

“Where. Are. you.” she said, boarding the bus immediately. 

“Okay, so Ricky came in and for some reason, we were the only ones there, and he started screaming about how he was gonna kill us and he apparently was gonna blow us up, but the bomb vest thing didn’t work, but I guess he had other bombs and uh… well long story short we’re alive but under like, six tons of rubble.” Clint said. “The search and rescue guys found us but they’re struggling to get us out.” 

“Wh- are you okay?” She asked. 

“Oh, Peter’s just fine. He’s a little freaked out though.” Clint said, not-so-tactfully avoiding the question. 

“Yeah, that's great, how about you though.” She said, burying her head in her hands. The line was quiet for so long that she seriously thought the call might have cut out. 

“Uh… well, I’m gonna live… probably…” Clint said. 

“Clint.” 

“Okay, um well one of those like, jumpy bar things, it kinda went straight through my other arm, and its uh… well the bleedings slowing down, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not but uh… I mean, I think my head is okay though, so that’s the important thing.” He said, rambling a little. 

“Oh my… do the rescue people know this?” she asked finally. 

“Um… no, they uh, well they’re not all too sure how to get to us.” 

“Okay, Clint, here’s what I’m gonna do, I’m going to call Tony and see if he had anything to help the rescue crew, and I’m going to tell him what you told me okay? Then I will ask him to track your phone to make it easier to get to you and Peter. Do what you can to keep your phone from going dead okay?” She said, 

“Yeah, yeah that all sounds… sounds good. Okay Nat, thank you so much.” Clint said. “And uh… well, in case they don’t get me out of here…” 

“Shut up Clint, we’re gonna get you out.” She said, clenching her teeth to keep her eyes dry. 

“No, seriously Natasha,” Clint said. “It’s… I love you, Tash. Peter says he loves you too.” 

“I… I love you, Clint. We’re gonna get you out okay? Hold tight.” She whispered, ending the call. She dropped her head a moment, before pressing on Tony’s contact. 

“Tony, I need your help.” 

0o0o0o

Loki woke up to Thor's ringtone obnoxiously in his ear. He smacked Thor's arm and handed him the phone. His brother slid the answer thingy and put the call on speaker. 

“Hey, Natasha!” Thor called. “Heads up, Lokis here too.” 

“Okay,” Natasha said. Loki couldn’t help but jolt slightly at her voice. It sounded rough like she had been crying. Or screaming. Both were possible. “So we have one big problem and one slightly smaller problem.” 

“Okay, what's the big problem?” Thor said. 

“Well Clint and Peter are trapped under the gym and I am locked out of the school,” Nat said. 

“Yeah, we know, we just saw Tony run outside yelling about ‘bigtrum’,” Thor said. 

“Uh, great. Fine, that sounds about right.” She said, 

“What's the smaller problem?” Thor asked. 

“Um, well I may have just spent twenty minutes crying in the parking lot because I realized I liked Clint and he was gonna die and even if he didn’t I have been  _ not  _ liking him since we were 9 and I can’t just go back on that and I don’t know what to do.” She said. Now Loki was interested. Apparently, so was Thor. 

“Oh my goodness that’s adorable,” Thor said. 

“Yeah yeah yeah, I get it, just tell me what to do.” She said, sounding panicked. 

“Well uh, you tell him what you told us,” Thor said, shrugging. “That you like him and stuff.” 

“Okay, I got that part, but  _ how _ .” She said. Loki sat up, paying close attention to what Thor said next. 

“So you get a firetruck right-” Thor started.

“No. Absolutely not.” Loki said. There were a lot of things he would ignore but this wouldn’t be one. He’d been setting these two up sense he was Peters age. Thor wasn’t gonna mess this up. “So what you gotta do is…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well damn. 
> 
> Oh, heads up guys, I live in Seattle and have had a 'cold' for a week and a half, so if I stop posting, assume I'm dead. 
> 
> （ (≪●≫) ）Д（ (≪●≫) ）


	46. Ouch!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE ENJOY!!

Clint was barely conscious for most of the rescue, only really alert enough to at least try and comfort Peter, who wasn’t at all comfortable down there. The poor toddler had spent most of the time pressing himself into Clint as tightly as possible with all the metal twisted around them. 

“Uncle Cwint?” Peter whispered. “Are we gonna die in hewe?” 

“Of course not buddy.” He said, biting his lip as the metal shifted in his arm while people moved the debris above them. “We just gotta be patient.”

“Dis is a wot wike da pwane cwash.” Peter whispered. 

“Peter, why don’t you tell me about what you were doing on the equipment before everything fell okay?” Clint said, desperate to distract the toddler. 

“I’be seen da scawy man before.” Peter said. “Dat waz da one who attack Aun’ Tasha.” 

That shocked Clint. “Uh, wait how do you know about that?” 

“Me and T’ny were pwaying in his wab and we were making da wobots and den dere was a weally loud awarm and T’ny wanted me to make sure dat da wobots where okay while he check but I didn’t an I saw it on da screen.” Peter said.

“This is why I wasn’t supposed to leave you with Tony, huh,” Clint muttered. 

“Uncle Cwint, you’re tired. You sweep.” Peter said firmly. “I keep watch.” 

“That's very nice Pete, but I’m alright.” He assured, although if the toddler was calling him out on sleep deprivation already he was sure he wasn’t presenting very well. 

“No you not. You lost lozza bwood. If you lose lozza bwood den you get tired because you need to make mo’ bwood. You jus go ta sweep, I watch dem.” Peter said. Clint hadn’t intended on taking the toddlers advice, but he couldn’t remember anything after that. 

0o0o0o

By the time Tony had talked to the rescue crew, convinced them to let him use some of his own tech to help, which wasn’t easy, and actually got the two out, they were both unconscious. Peter woke up pretty quickly, he’d seemingly fallen asleep after getting bored while waiting for them to get rescued. The real issue was trying to detach him from Clint. 

“I’m suppose to watch fo’ Cwint.” Peter said, clinging to his uncle. 

“And you did a wonderful job dear, better than any of us, I’m gonna take over now.” One of the EMT’s said, trying to pick Peter up. Peter however, was having none of it, and managed to flip upside down, landing with a thud on the ground. 

Tony quickly scooped the toddler up before he could get back to Clint again, not wanting Peter to interfere with what the doctors were doing. Thankfully Peter didn’t mind him nearly as much, and pretty quickly settled down, gripping his jacket in a death grip. 

“Pete? Why don’t we go get you cleaned up, kay?” He said, bouncing the boy a little. 

“I wanna be wif Cwint.” Peter sniffed. “Why day need to take him away?” 

“Clint got a little hurt when the building fell, they are just going to make sure he’s alright, and then you can see him, okay?” Tony asked. Peter nodded, duct cascading out of his curly hair, making the boy sneeze. “Alright, we’re cleaning you up.” 

“We not gonna use soap though, right?” Peter asked. 

“Yes, we are going to use soap bud, water won’t save your face by itself.” Tony joked, smudging some of the dirt around the kid's face.

“But the soap tastes yucky,” Peter said. “An’ I don’t wike it.” 

“Well keep your mouth closed and you’ll be fine then,” Tony said, entering their dorm building. It was almost completely empty, with most of the student body out trying to see what was going on outside. 

“Will uncle Cwint be okay?” Peter asked, keeping his stair fixed out the window at the firetruck, just barely visible. 

“I’m sure he will be,” Tony said. Peter seemed satisfied with that and allowed himself to be carried the rest of the way to the bathroom in silence. As soon as Tony set him down on one of the sinks however, the toddler began to squirm. 

“T’ny, my arm hurt.” Peter said, pointing to his arm. It wasn’t until then that the teen noticed the child's sling had been lost in the chaos. “I wost my sweeve.” 

“I’m sure we can buy you a new one buddy,” Tony said. “Let me see your arm, I don’t want to let it hurt too bad if we need to get you to the doctor.”

Peter held out his arm for Tony, and he rolled up the sleeve, relieved to see minimal bruising around the joint. “Da scawy man waz back again.” Peter said, swinging his feet. 

“Who’s that?” Tony asked, satisfied that Peter hadn’t broken anything, and began wetting some paper towels to try and clean the kid up. 

“Da one dat Aun’ Tazza dosn’t wike.” Peter said. 

“Where was the man?” Tony asked, whipping at some of the dirt. It came off relatively easily, relieving him, and he continued to clean the boy's face. 

“We waz wif us in da gym.” Peter said. “An he yelled about how aun’ tazza waz vewy bad and den he trwed to bwow it up but it didn’t work.” Peter said, not seeming fazed by the memory. “Can I see uncle Cwint now pweeze?” 

“How about we find Natasha instead,” Tony said, tossing the dirty paper and picking the kid back up. “I think they're letting people off but not on campus right now.” 

“She izzn’t gonna be vewy happy wif us.” Peter said. 

0o0o0o

Natasha hung up on Loki’s -rather extravagant- plan, as soon as she saw Tony and Peter heading around the corner of the main entrance. Peter looked slightly sooty but rather unharmed, and he seemed to be feeling well enough to sprint to her. 

“Aun’ Tazza!” He yelled, jumping at her. She caught him easily, hugging the child tightly against her. 

“Oh my goodness, Peter!” She said. Peter squirmed against her. 

“Aun’ Tasha, it waz weawwy scawy.” Peter said. She motioned Tony over from where he was hanging back on the street, not wanting for someone to recognize him and try to take him. Tony took about three steps, but still hung back. 

“You wanna tell me about it?” She asked, giving up and walking over to Tony. 

“We were in da gym, a-and der waz a would noize, and den it went weawwy dark.” Peter said. She was going to prompt him to say more, but then a ear splitting noise startled them, preceding an ambulance, blaring down the street. 

“That's Clint. We should go…” Tony said, gesturing to the street the car had taken. It took her longer then she cared to admit to process that Clint would be  _ in _ the ambulance, not that he stole one. 

“I… yes. Yes absolutely.” She said, “We can take the van.” 

“Everyone else should already be on their way to the car.” Tony said. 

“Can I pwease come dis time?” Peter said. “I don’t want anyting to happen ag’n.” 

“Of course honey. You can come with me for a long time from now on, okay? We’ll stick together, okay?” She said, walking towards the parking lot, holding Peter in one hand and grabbing Tony's arm in the other. She didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him. 

“Das good. Can we tawk wif uncle Cwint now please?” Peter asked. 

“Um, I don’t know…” she started. In truth, she had no idea how injured he was. Clearly badly enough that they needed an ambulance. 

“Not yet Peter. But you can play with Bucky's arm while we wait.” Tony stepped in, making her smile. 

“Bubby!” Peter shouted, clearly happy with that explanation. She chuckled at that, stepping to the van easily with Peter. Tony lagged behind a bit, stepping next to her finally and crawling into the back seat. Peter followed the teenager, sitting next to Bucky, whereas Natasha curled up in the seat in front of the two.

“Tony, did you handle the robot-” Steve started, turning around to look at the genius. 

“ _ Yesyesyes  _ don’t worry about it,” Tony said hurriedly. 

“Where would you even keep something that size?” Bucky asked. 

“It’s collapsible, what do you take me for?” Tony said. She considered trying to get an explanation, but ultimately decided she was too tired to even care. With any luck, whatever Tony had done was being watched by the rest of them. 

The ride to the hospital was almost completely silent, broken only by Peters occasional question of when they’d arrive, and Tony’s oddly specific answer. They were all in a somber mood, even Bucky and Thor staying quiet the whole time. She found herself turning to ask Clint a question or make a comment almost ten times before remembering why they were in the car in the first place. It took a massive amount of self-control to launch herself out of the car when they first pulled up. 

Instead, she leaned back and picked Peter up, handing him a stuffed animal she had seen on the ground, which was only vaguely sticky, and stretched. Thor sprinted ahead of them, followed quickly by Steve and Bucky. She followed closely behind. 

“Now we see Cwint?” Peter asked sadly. 

“We’ll see honey,” she said. 

“I hope we do. Izza bad ting when dey don’t wet you.” Peter said matter of factly. 

“I’m sure it'll be okay darling.” She said, “You wanna go walk with Thor and Loki?” She asked. 

“Four!” He yelled, jumping down and attaching himself to the aforementioned blond. She smiled at them, wringing her hands anxiously. She could see through the doors Steve was talking with the receptionist already. 

“Hey,” Tony said, bumping her shoulder. “Clint will be alright. I saw him before they took him away, he didn’t seem too bad.” 

“You’re right.” She said, “I’m sure everything will be fine.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who didn't wait for there beta again. I'm so sorry for not updating quicker. I don't really have an excuse. Although my whole family has COVID-19, so that's cool. Anyway, I hope you liked it, I'm so so sorry. Okay, bye!


	47. pAiN MeDs PlEaSe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hehe

Clint wasn’t quite sure how he ended up in the hospital, but he was pretty sure that the copeant amount of bandaging on his arms gave him a good clue. Aside from being majorly impaled, he didn’t seem to have any other injuries, minus a couple scraps and bruises. Unfortunately, an incredibly sceptical doctor was refusing him any pain medication, something about how being impaled was ‘relatively easy to fake’ or something. He didn’t really try to argue the point though, the meds always made his head all fuzzy and he could never remember what he said. 

“How ya doing?” One of the nurses asked him, snapping her gum loudly and checking some boxes on the whiteboard. He shrugged a bit, before remembering why that was a horrible idea. 

“I’ve been better.” He admitted. 

“I’m sure. Well you have a loud group waiting on yah in the lobby. I’ve tried getting them to go home, but they seem pretty adimint on waiting here for yah.” The nurse informed, raising an eyebrow. “You have any idea who i’m talking about?” 

“Uh…” He said, “I… yes. Oh yes! That sounds like them.” He said, his brain taking a while to catch up to her words. Maybe they had drugged him after all. “Are they being really loud and obnoxious?” 

“You bet hun. Tell you what, you seem up to visitors, and they're getting on every one of my last nerves, so how about I let them all in instead of sticking to that silly two at a time rule, if you tell the short one to stop rewiring our humidifiers, alright?” she said. He couldn’t help but laugh at that, because of course. 

“Sure!” He said, grinning. The nurse raised an eyebrow before leaving him to play with the tubes left lying around. He personally thought hospitals should charge to let their patients try and play cat's cradle with their IVs. They’d make a fortune. 

“Hon, you are going to rip that straight outta your arm.” the nurse said, suddenly reappearing in the doorway. He disentangled the tube, only blushing slightly at being caught, and she moved aside, allowing his friends in. 

“Unc’l Cwint!” Peter yelled, jumping onto the bed. He laughed as Peter over-calculated, and ended up sliding straight over, knocking over a cart of med supplies. 

“Hi Peter!” He said, giggling as the child tried desperately to disentangle himself from the extra cords. 

“I see a family resemblance.” Bruce said, rolling his eyes. Clint threw his pillow at him. “Ow.” 

“There’s no way that hurts.” Clint said. 

“Damn, they must have given you the good pain killers.” Bucky said. “You seem more awake then I’ve ever felt.” 

“Ugh. I wish.” He said, “The head doctor-guy thing flipped when the nurse asked how much to give me. He said that I had an ‘easily fakeable injury’ and I would need to try harder to get drugs next time. Or try a different hospital.” Clint explained, biting back a laugh at the indignect looks on his friends faces. “I’m good though. One of the nurses wrapped it really tight, so the injury is basically numb now.” 

“I’ll be right back.” Tony muttered, grinning as he stepped outside. 

“Someone go make sure he doesn't get the whole hospital shut down.” Bruce said. 

“I’ll go.” Steve volunteered. 

“No.” Bucky said. “If you punch another doctor the whole hospital will get a restraining order.” 

Steve had already left. 

“Great.” Bucky said. “That's my cue.” He made a hasty exit after that, jogging down the same hallway his friends had gone down. 

“It's true. Remember when Bucky broke his arm?” Sam said. They cringed at the memory. Steve yelled about patient confidentiality to one doctor for three hours, Clint’d timed it.

“Yeah, I don't wanna see that again.” Bruce said. 

“Do you know when they’ll let you out?” Thor asked, leaning against the wall, making Loki smack into a med cart. 

“Eh. It should be soon though.” He said, “The nurse said I didn’t even get any nerve damage. Apparently at first they asked me to do the response thingy to test how screwed my arm was, and they redid it a bunch because they thought the results were flawed.”

“You have fifteen, very tired, guardian angels.” Natasha remarked, sitting on the edge of his bed. 

“And you’re one of them!” He joked. 

“I thought we’d established she crawled out of the depths of hell.” Loki quipped. 

“As if hell could hold me.” She said, plucking Peter out of the mess of tubes and alcohol swabs. Clint laughed, al be it a little uncomfortably. 

Finally, several hours later, and after thoroughly trashing the hospital room, and at least four warnings from the nurses with varying levels of malice, his friends were sent back to the dorms to sleep of the day, with the promise he would be released soon. Or, almost all of them where. A nurse had pulled Natasha into the hallway, and he could see them having a conversation through the cheap glass walls, although he was too tired to try and lip read. A few moments later, Natasha came back in. 

“What’d you do, threaten her family?” He asked, trying to sound as alert as possible. The truth is, he was  _ tired _ . And the lack of pain meds was starting to actually bother him now, without his friends screaming and pranks to fill the room. 

“I’m not above it.” She said, “But no, Genevieve said she’d try and sneak you some pain meds.” 

“Genevieve is…” He asked, tilting his head. He could tell by her face he was definitely supposed to know who she was talking about. 

“The head nurse.” She said finally. Right. He knew that. 

“Oh. I thought her name was jamie.” 

“That would be the doctor.” Natasha said. “Who, by the way, hasn’t been seen sense Bucky dragged both Steve  _ and _ Tony away.” 

“Damn. Is he even alive?” Clint asked. 

“Yes, although no thanks to Steve.” Natasha laughed. “We don’t know what Tony did, but the doctor looked terrified when he left. He said he needed a sick day.” 

“Are you even allowed to take a sick day halfway through a shift? I feel like you shouldn’t be.” Clint said. Natasha shrugged, laughing. Probably at his face. 

“I still can’t believe they actually got Peter out of here. He was freaked out, you know, wouldn’t stop asking to see you until we were literally in your room.” Nat said. Clint sighed at that. 

“I don’t know what he did in some kind of past life that deserved what's happened to him, but it must have been pretty awful. Between this and his parents.” 

“In the same month too.” She said, “By the way, never let Tony try to clean anything ever again.” 

“Uh, why?” He asked. It did not seem like Natasha to discourage cleaning. 

“Because he tried to use bathroom soap to get the soot off Peter's face and he somehow managed to get it confused with hair gel. Also, we need to talk about your hair gel usage.” She said, 

“You’re just jealous of me because you know with long hair like yours, you will never be able to pull off the Clint Barton look.” He quipped. She just stared at him. “Thor takes showers with windex.” 

“What?” She asked. 

“Well because he’s handcuffed to Loki. He just uses windex.” 

“Well then how does Loki shower?” She asked. “Because I know he’d never do that.” 

“He takes the handcuffs off.” Clint said. 

“Do I need to pull another intervention on everyone's hygiene habits?” She asked. “Because I thought I covered most of this in tenth grade.” 

“Listen, at least I  _ take  _ showers.” Clint said. “Tony only showers for thirty seconds. Fully clothed.” 

“Ugh. As soon as you are out of here, I am addressing this, understood?” She said, Clint nodded, laughing at her slightly. “Okay, I don’t trust any of our friends by themselves. Text me so I know they actually ended up giving you pain medication, okay?” She asked. 

“Sure.” He said, She waved and ducked out the door without a goodbye. 

0o0o0o 

“ _ DIDYOUTELLHIM _ ?” Thor asked the moment she stepped onto their floor. 

“Wha- no. He’s in the hospital Thor, timing is a component.” She said, “And lower your voice.” 

“He doesn't know how.” Loki said dully from behind Thor, holding his arm out uncomfortably to keep distance between himself and his brother. 

“I can, but WHY WOULD I?” Thor asked happily. 

“Because Bruce is studying and if you keep disturbing him he’ll put your head through drywall. Again.” Natasha remark. “And I swear if you don’t hush I won’t stop him.” 

“You hurt me.” Thor said. 

“And I care about this because…” She said, 

“You’re a kind loving person?” Thor said. She just sighed and walked past him. She’d been planning on taking a shower, before realising that she had no idea where Peter was. It wasn’t that she was completely against one of the others watching him, she just needed to know who it was. Finally, she found him with Bruce. 

“An’ den dere was a weawwy woud bang and den de whole place-” 

“Uh huh.” Bruce said, completely distracted.

“Amd den everwting was so-o-o hot I didn’t even know pwaces coul’ get dat hot. And den- AUN’ TASHA!” He yelled, seeing her head appeared. She smiled at his enthusiasm. 

“Hey buddy, I just got back.” She said. Peter ran over to her, a large colorful square in his hand. It took her a moment to realise it was a rubix cube, but one of those 16-by-16 crazy ones. 

“Bwuce gabe me dis so I’d be quiet but den I solve it so I gotta talk.” Peter said. 

“That's, wow. You solved that all on your own?” she asked. 

“Mhm. It waz easy. I do dem in cwass sometime.” Peter said. “Can I go pway wif Four and Woki?” Peter asked. She sighed a little, releafed she wouldn’t have to try and force Bruce to watch the kid. 

“Sure. Just tell Loki he needs to be nice or else.” She said, 

“O’ else wha?” Peter asked. 

“He’ll know. Go ahead now.” She said. Peter just smiled and bounded, litteraly bounded, out the door. 


	48. Beware of SOUP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SOUP.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! I wrote this with glue on nails and now my fingers feel like they might fall off.

“Ste-eve.” Bucky said, flopping on top of his friend. “I’m  _ bored _ .” 

“Go study,” Steve said, not looking up from his book. 

“I don’t… want to though.” Bucky said. 

“Well figure out what you do want to do and go do that, but leave me out of it,” Steve said. 

“I  _ want _ to go do something stupid with Clint, but he won’t be out of the hospital for another two days,” Bucky said, flopping off the bed, and smacking his face into Steve's textbook he’d left on the floor as a result. “Ow.” 

“Well thank goodness. Why don’t you go do something questionable with Thor then.” Steve said, still not looking up. 

“But Thor is handcuffed to Loki, and I don’t want to break him just yet,” Bucky said. 

“I’m sure Nat would let you watch Peter,” Steve suggested. 

“No, she found out I was teaching him to read so I need supervision around him,” Bucky said. 

“Why would you teach him to read be a problem?” Steve asked. 

“Well, it wasn’t exactly that I taught him to read, more what I taught him that she took issue with,” he confessed. 

“Go watch Tony do questionable things to the integrity of the building then, I don’t care,” Steve said. “Just please don’t make me report anything in the next few hours, alright?” 

“Fine,” Bucky said, sulking. He took (some of) Steve’s advice and went to try and find Tony. Not that it was difficult, he rarely saw the teenager leave his lab. According to Sam, he didn’t even leave to sleep. They were all just really hoping he had a bed up there somewhere.

“Open the door slowly!” Tony yelled before he had even finished climbing the stairs. Confused, he gingerly swung the door open, finding Tony working on… something. 

It was in a large glass cage, with vials and such on screens surrounding what looked like a control panel. He didn’t know if it was talking or… chirping or what. The thing was tall and pale and looked vaguely human. 

“Hey Bucky, what can I do for you?” Tony asked, pressing a couple of buttons to still the… robot? 

“Well, I stopped being bored as of fifteen seconds ago. What the hell is that thing?” He asked. Tony looked at the creator and laughed. 

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that. They can look… startling if you aren't used to them, which most aren't. This,” He said, opening the door to the glass cage. “Is S.O.U.P.” 

“That is absolutely not soup,” Bucky said. 

“Not soup, S.O.U.P. He’s a Standardized Opponent Used for Pacifists.” Tony said as if that made all the sense in the world. 

“So someone just really wanted it to spell soup?” Bucky asked. 

“Hey, better then BARF.” Tony said. “It’s my newest project. The idea is that the government, or whoever is authorized, can use it as an accurate demonstration of how humans will react to something, say chemicals, without needing to test it on actual humans, hence the pacifist party.” 

“It’s impressive,” Bucky said, walking closer. 

“Eh, the coding wasn’t all too hard. Here, you wanna try?” Tony asked. 

“For real?” bucky asked. 

“Sure. Step into the cage, but stay on the other side of the plexiglass, and start a conversation with it.” Tony said. 

“Why do I need to stay on the other side of the glass if we’re just talking?” Bucky asked, feeling slightly uneasy. 

“Because it is basically a human with emotions but no concise or soul, or a sense of self-control. Er, JAR, can you explain it to him?” Tony asked, looking at the ceiling. 

“Certainly. The Standardized Opponent Used for Pacifists was created with the intent for it to be used to measure the most average human reaction. The robot will react to a situation however an average human would. Because humans thought processes are so hard to track, the robot may have unexpected reactions in the first stages of testing. Because this new technology has only been tested on my egotistical creator, there is no way to predict SOUP’s reaction to you, Buchanan.” 

“Okay, rude,” Tony said. “But you get the idea?” 

“Yeah, I think so,” Bucky said. 

“Cool. I won’t lock the door, so if he seems upset, just step out kay?” Tony said. Bucky nodded and stepped inside of the cage. 

“Hey, SOUP.” He said, 

“Try some test questions,” Tony said, speaking into a microphone. Almost immediately, examples of small talk showed up like cue cards on the opposite side of the wall. 

“Uh, nice weather today?” He said, 

“That’s a lie.” The robot said, speaking in some kind of Indian accent. “I have access to the current weather, there is a forecast for thunderstorms the next couple days.” 

“Wow, he sounds more human than you do Tony,” Bucky said. 

“Careful, I might just lock that door,” Tony replied. 

“He will not, in fact, lock the door.” Jarvis and SOUP said, completely in sync. 

“Called out by my own creations. Classy.” Tony muttered. “Try something else.” 

“Uh, what do you do for fun?” Bucky asked. 

“Fun?” The robot said. Bucky swore he heard emotion in the mechanical voice. “I was not created for fun, I was created to serve. I have more of a purpose than you ever will, you pathetic squishy hum-” 

“ _ Okay ask it something different!”  _ Tony said hurriedly. 

“Uh, where’s your favorite place to eat?” He asked. Tony smacked his head against the glass. 

“Really, after the last question? That was the best thing you could think of?” 

“Um…” He said, 

“Eat? What a joke. My very purpose in being is to serve humans. Why on earth would my creator give me something for  _ me _ ? If it does not serve-” 

“Bucky, it would be wise for you to exit the testing station,” Jarvis said. Tony muttered an impressive stream of curse’s under his breath and Bucky bolted to the door. 

“Okay, so I gotta keep him from being angry about his existence. Got it. Thanks, Bucky.” Tony said, turning back to his controls. “I’ll need to power it down in order to rewire that… consciousness would interfere…” 

“Aw hell no,” Bucky said. Tony looked up in surprise. 

“I mean, I could find a way to store it outside the dorms if that would be better for you. Principle Fury only uses his basement once every couple weeks or-” 

“Not that, we’re used to your unsettling creations,” Bucky said. “But I haven't seen you leave this place since we got back. You’re gonna come downstairs and eat something normal for once.” 

“Well maybe later I can get something, but really, I should-” 

“Nope. I can’t handle you being this weird right now. Besides, Clint will only be able to drag you down with one arm for a while, so I’m gonna help. 

“Bucky, I’ve always acted like this, there’s nothing weird about it,” Tony said. 

“Those two things cancel each other out.” Bucky insisted, grabbing the teen's bony wrist. “Now come eat some dehydrated vegetables and undercooked ramen like the rest of us.” 

“What happened to be healthy?” Tony asked. 

“I’ll answer that when you tell me how much sleep you get.” Bucky retorted, continuing to drag the teenager. 

“Eight.” 

“Wait- really?” Bucky asked. “A night?” 

“Eight,” Tony repeated. “Can I go now.” 

“Mmm, no.” He said, Tired of trying to convince the mini-genius, he simply lifted him up. He was more than slightly unnerved at his weight. Even Steve had outweighed him at 15. 

“Hey!” Tony said. “I could sue you for this!” 

“But you won’t because I’m broke,” Bucky said. “And Nat won’t let you.” 

“Hmph.”

0o0o0o

“ _ Natasha _ !” Bucky yelled, running into the common room, where she was watching Peter do something that looked frighteningly like algebra. “We need to pull an intervention.” 

“We need to pull several, which one is this about?” She asked, looking completely unfazed. 

“Tony,” he said. 

“Be more specific, that’s like, five separate interventions at once. Has Clint told you how he showers?” 

“No, and I don’t want to know. Bus seriously, I need you to fix him.” Bucky said. 

“Alright, explain.” 

So Bucky told her everything about SOUP, and Jarvis, and their conversation upstairs, and the multiple variations of the Chicken Robot, and the many worrying eating habits he’d seen Tony display until he got the part about being at least 90% sure Tony's found a way to inject caffeine into his veins after all. 

“Okay. Where is he now?” She asked. 

“Uh, well I left him in the kitchen, but he’s most likely working on SOUP now.” 

“Great. Okay, you take this,” she said, handing Peter to him. 

“Derza dragon in da chewing.” Peter said seriously. “Here's how we get em out.” 

Bucky barely glanced at the page of either math or nonsense, before making his decision. “Hey, you wanna go play with Thor?” 

“So you’z can stop t’ny?” Peter asked. “Sure.” 

Before he had time to think about the toddler’s response more, he was gone. By the time he caught up with Natasha and Tony, they were sitting at a table with a blank piece of paper in front of them. 

“Okay, I want you to write everything that has happened to you, starting at the beginning of the school year,” Natasha said, handing Tony a pen. 

“Uh.” 

“And make it legible, we will be referring back to this.” She said, 

“Okay…” 

The list looked something like this. 

-went to college. 

-got kidnapped. 

-Christmas. 

“Elaborate,” she said. 

“Why?” Tony asked. 

“Because I want you to.” She said, “And I have Furys phone number and I’ll tell him about the video of-” 

“Alright alright! Writing!” Tony said hurriedly. While Tony scribbled on the paper, Natasha turned to look at Bucky. 

“You no longer have Peter.” She observed. 

“He’s with Thor,” Bucky said. “What are you doing with the-” He gestured to the list. 

“Well, I’m pulling an intervention. The issue is, I don’t know what I need to address first, so we’re starting with everything and working our way down.” 

“Can I help?” He asked. She raised an eyebrow. 

“Are you sure you want to?” 

“It’s so boring here and Steve kicked me out,” Bucky said. “I’m trying to pass the time between now and when me and Clint can act on the oatmeal thing.” 

“A. I don’t want to know. B. sure, but you didn’t see me do that thing last Thursday.” She said, 

“Agreed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, people keep offering to Beta read for me, which is great, I love that. The issue is, I have a beta, I am just so damn impatient I can't wait for her to read through my stuff, and then I get comments I spelled everything wrong. It's the circle of life.


	49. He's Back!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super short, and full of spelling errors. Sorry guys, ya'll deserve better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy (if you can... hehe.)

“Okay, are you  _ sure _ this is it?” Natasha asked. Tony looked up from the list. 

“No, Natasha, I was murdered and left to rot under a dock as well, I just thought that didn’t fit in with the light happy stuff on here.” He said, throwing the list at her and placing his head on the table. She just rolled her eyes and picked up the list. 

“Okay, we’re- how did you color code this?” She asked. “I didn’t give you a pen.” 

“I don’t need pens.” Tony said. “Not when I have biology.” 

“That doesn’t make sense.” Bucky commented. 

“The world doesn’t make sense.” Tony replied, not lifting his head from the table. 

“Alright. We’re starting with your sleep schedule. According to this, you get seven hours of sleep.” She said, raising an eyebrow. 

“That’s true.” Tony said. “I’m not lying.” 

“Technically, my creator is lying by omission. He does get seven hours of sleep on average, however he is measuring it according to weeks, not days, which is what a normal person would use.” Jarvis said, startling all of them. Tony just glared at the ceiling. 

“Okay, I have a feeling that just asking you to pretty please sleep more isn’t going to do shit,” Natasha said. “So he’s the deal. For every hour of sleep you get, you are allowed 10 oz of coffee.” 

“ _ What _ .” Tony said, raising his head then.

“Well, if you are getting even six hours of sleep a night, sixty ounces of coffee should be plenty.” she said. 

“No. No it’s not. Natasha, if I don’t have coffee, I  _ die _ . And if I die, Jarvis has to activate that one protocol, and if he activates that one protocol then all of you are gonna end up dead too because none of you can turn off Birdtram.” Tony muttered. 

“Look, he isn’t romantic at all.” Bucky jokes, shoving his shoulder. Tony gave him the driest look he’d ever seen. Impressive given his dorm mates. 

“Okay, but Natasha, consider this,” Tony said. “What if I just buy more coffee. What then?” 

“Well then you’ll have to sleep more.” she said. 

“But I don't sleep.” Tony said. 

“Well maybe if you drink less coffee you will.” She replied. “I’ve gotta go, they're planning on letting Clint out of the hospital, and I don’t trust him to get home.”

“Alright. I’ll just be here. Dying.” Tony said, thumping his head against the desk again. 

“Good. Bucky, keep an eye on Tony for me.” She said, stepping out before either of them could reply. 

“Does this mean I’m in charge of you?” He asked, tilting his head at Tony, who didn’t look up. 

“I’ll send my robots after you.” 

0o0o0o

“We gave him some pretty strong drugs so he’ll be a little out of it for now.” A different nurse than before said. 

Natasha was surprised she was recognised on sight. 

“Horribly, they weren't allowing it before. I try to tell the doctor, but does he listen?” 

“Thank you,” Nat said, intending to go down to his room. Before she could, however, the nurse caught her arm, pulling her arm so Natasha’s ear was right by her mouth. 

“Doll, he’s been babbling about you since he woke up this morning, and that was six hours ago. Be kind to him, alrighty?” The nurse asked. 

Before she could figure out how to respond to  _ that _ , the nurse released her and shoved her to Clint's door. She opened the door slowly, concerned for what he would be doing. She was relieved he seemed deep in conversation with one of the nurses, who looked about ready to stab his own eyes out. 

“An’ she’s naturally a redhead. Did you know that people could be natural red heads? I didn’t until I met her. And her eyes. They’re like, they’re  _ green _ . Not like, eh there green, but like, green green. And if she crys, which I hope she never does, they’re like green green  _ green _ -” 

“Sir I need to remove your IV to discharge you.” the nurse said, rubbing his head. 

“No.” Clint said. “No needles.” 

“There’s already a needle  _ in _ your arm, I just want to take it out of your arm.” the nurse said. 

“Hm, no.” Clint said. 

“Fine. Sir, may I remove the tube in your arm?” He asked. “It may have a pointy end.” 

“Oh of course. Why do you need to ask?” Clint said, readly extending his undamaged arm. The nurse just sighed as he removed the IV. 

“Um, hi.” she said. “The other nurse told me to come here to pick him up.” 

“Please tell me you’re Natasha.” The nurse said, making her raise an eyebrow.

“Yes. Why? What did he say?” She asked, slightly on edge.

“Mostly that you have nice eyes.” The nurse said, leaving. Great. 

“Hi Clint.” She said. “Are you ready to go?” 

“Oh! Hi Natasha!” He said. “Am I allowed to leave?” 

“I think so.” She said. “I think the removal of the IV was a pretty good indication.” 

“Yes. Let's go now.” Clint said, immediately standing up, only to smack into the ground. “Okay, maybe we could wait a minute.” 

“Come on.” She said, hauling him up. “I stole Bruce’s sadan so we gotta get back before he notices.” 

“You stole?” Clint asked. “Isn’t that…  _ illegal _ ?” 

“Not if you get in the car.” she said, not waiting for him and simply dragging him by his good arm. “Come on, I already signed all the forms.” 

“You know… they say that they gave me pain meds now, but I think that I had pain meds before I got hurt too.” 

“And why do you think that?” She asked. 

He was much like Peter; the best way to keep him out of trouble was to keep him talking. 

“Well I was under the rubble, and then I wasn’t, and then there was this huge-and i mean huge-thing and I thought it was the chicken robot but it was way to big and then it started to lick Peter so I’m really really hoping I was drugged.” Clint said. “Wow the world is really bright. Does it seem bright here to you? It feels bright.” 

“Well, you’d be the best judge of that.” She said absentmindedly.

“Why did Bruce let you take the sedan again?” 

“He didn’t” 

“Where do you think the clouds go when they die?” 

“Hell.” 

“What if the cloud-” 

“You wanna play some music?” She asked, not sure how long her patience would last. That mistake led her to listening to sappy acoustic love songs the whole ride back, which was significantly longer than it should have been, given the unknown traffic. After the fourth round of I Want It That Way in a row, they thankfully were able to turn off at campus. 

“They already cleared out the gym.” Clint observed absently. “MIT’s quick.” 

“Yeah,” She said. Honestly between keeping tabs on Clint, and attempting to make Tony sleep, like, at all, she’d totally forgotten about that. “Alright, you’re going inside and strait into bed, alright? I need you to sleep off at least some of your pain medicine before I try to handle you.” 

“Fine.” Clint said. “I think clouds would go to heaven when they die. They’ve never tried to hurt anyone. Except for maybe thunder clouds. Those guys might be in hell.” 

“Lucky clouds don’t die so you don’t need to think about it.” 

“I bet Tony could make clouds die. If he makes SOUP then he can kill clouds.” 

“Anyone can make soup Clint.” she said with a sigh. “Except Steve, but aside the point.” 

“No, not ‘soup’” the client said. “ _ SOUP _ .” 

“Uh huh. And what's the difference?” She asked, holding the door open for Clint. 

“He’s a robot. One of the creepy human ones. And Tony made him super aware by mistake, so he tried to throw out the prototype, but he couldn’t so now it lives in Bucky's closet and I can hear it yelling at night.” Clint said. 

“Well I’ll talk with Tony about that.” She said. “Or have Steve. A downside to the gym falling, aside from your arm, is that Steve can’t compulsively work out anymore. I think he’s gonna lose it.” 

“If he does I wanna watch.” 

“Oh, I’m sure we won’t be able to miss it.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DAMN this chapter was hard. I swear, it was like pulling teeth. Whats wrong with me???


	50. Eh.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is really a draft but I don't have the energy to make any changes. Sorry, it is so short.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Help.

“He's T'ny?” Peter asked, crawling into the teens lap uninvited. “Why’re people so upset?” 

Okay, great. This wouldn’t be difficult at all. “What do you mean bud?” 

“Well, firs’ mommy and daddy where upset in da car because my grandma was sick, and den de people on da pwane were weally upset, and den there were nurses who was upset, and den everyone in da car was upset, and  _ den _ da big big scary man in da gym waz upset. Cwint wasn't though. That was good.” Peter said. “I just’ don’t understand’. And usually I understand everything.” 

Tony couldn’t help but laugh at the child's confusion. “Well, lots of bad things have been happening these last couple weeks.” 

“An’ when bad things happen, everyone gets sad?” Peter asked. “Den why was da big man angry?” 

“What big man?” Tony asked, suddenly concerned. 

“Da big man in da gym wif da vest. You know him, he waz da one who Aun’ Tasha didn’t like. He yells at her when she gets back with us.”

“You mean Ricky?” Tony asked. 

“I dunno. I dunno anyone's name.” Peter said, shrugging. 

“Just because something sad happened doesn't mean people feel sad. Sometimes they are angry or they just ignore it, which is what Ricky did.” 

“Oh. Dat makes sense.” Peter said. 

“Let's go back a bit, you said that Ricky was the one in the gym with you and Clint?” Tony asked. 

“Das no’ important.” Peter said. “You know what? I just’ remember sometine.” Peter said. 

“What did you remember?” Tony asked. 

“I tink I remember I iz tired.” Peter said. “I’ll take a nap.”

“Okay, you head down to bed then.” tony said. He was not at all concerned about Peter's ability to find his way downstairs. 

“Aun’ Tasha say that you need ta sweep to.” Peter said, crossing his chubby arms and staring at Tony. He had to bite back a laugh at Peters indigence. “Or else you willz be sick.” 

“Oh she isn’t used to my sleep schedule yet. I’ll be fine. You better go to bed though.” Tony was not prepared for what Peter hit him with next. 

“If you don’t sweep I’ll tell aun’ Tasha about da coffee you sneak.” Peter said in a low voice. 

“Okay, bedtime!” 

0o0o0o

“Steve, buddy, bestest friend of my life,” Bucky said, flopping down next to Steve on the sofa. “Are you okay?” 

“Fine. Why?” 

“It’s just that you kinda have a Piglet in a hoarder home vibe going on right now.” He said, watching his friend carefully. “I mean, I get that the gym’s closed, but wow.” 

“It’s fine.” Steve said again. “I’m gonna go for a run.” 

“How many runs have you gone on today?” bucky asked. 

“None.” 

“Stephen Rogers has gone on 4 six-mile runs as of January 3d, 2020 at 11:47 A.M.” Jarvis said. Creepy as it was, Tony’s robots could be awfully helpful. 

“Yeah, you aren't leaving.” Bucky said. “Please tell me you’ve done something other then just stare at the wall and run today.”

“Yes… I did…” Steve said. 

“What else did you do?” Bucky asked. 

“I took a shower.” Steve said. 

“Alright, let's find something else to do.” Bucky said. “Like… not that…?” 

“Just leave alone Bucky.” Steve said, standing up. 

“See, here’s the issue, I think if I leave you alone then you might just… snap.” Bucky said. 

“Well if I snap i snap, alright.” Steve snapped. 

“Okay, fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Bucky said, hopping off the sofa in search of food. It wasn’t even ten minutes later he heard screaming from the other room. Groning, he set down his ramon and went to investigate. 

“Tony, if I find  _ one more _ damn robot in this place I will lose my mind.” Steve yelled. Tony was lounging on his bed, for once cleared of scrap metal, and seemed to have no care in the world. 

“This of course implies you haven't already.” Tony said. 

“You can’t keep doing shit like this Tony. I know you are some kind of crazy genius kid or whatever, but if I see you interfering with everyone else's lives again I’m going to need to pull some kind of intervention, and it won’t be a kind one.” 

“As opposed to all those lovely, happy interventions that have been pulled before.” Tony said. 

“This isn’t a  _ fucking _ joke alright!” Steve yelled. Tony laughed. “I am the RA of this dorm.” 

“Right. Hey how’s Loki? Or Peter? Or Natasha? All three of whom are not legally allowed to live here?” 

“There were extenuating circumstances.” Steve gritted out. Tony laughed. “If you don’t start acting normal I’ll-” 

“Do nothing because anything that would be effective on me would cross over with what you are morally comfortable with doing.” Tony supplied. “Admit it bud, you can’t stop me. I am inevitable.” 

“I’ll call your father.” Steve threatened. “I know he has some kind of creepy chip in your head, probably the only way he can get you to listen to him.” 

“Good luck.” 

“Okay, you know what Tony, maybe this isn’t about what I can make you do. Can you not just take other people into consideration for once in your life. All you ever do is what is easy and convenient for you. You are one of the laziest and most self absorbed people I have ever met in my life. You can’t even understand that sometimes, when we need a break, we should be given a break. But no, you prioritized your robot-”

“What are you yelling about?” Bucky interrupted. 

“Jarvis asked if he was okay.” Tony supplied. “Just let him yell himself out.:

“And another thing, the lab needs to go. It’s creepy as hell, and it isn’t as if you actually do anything important up there except make fancy things to sell to stuffy companies and play with explosives and make your little creepy robot toys. Honestly, the fact that you were able to make it at all in concerning, but now it’s completely crossed a line. 

“And while I’m at it, you need to act nicer to everyone here. The whole ‘to smart for collage’ thing needs to stop immediately. People like Bruce actually have to try, whereas you can just waltz in and do whatever you want and still beat him at it. It’s unexceptable.” Steve said, finishing with a huff. 

“You feel better now?” Tony asked. Steve blinked. 

“Uh…” 

“Yeah. That’s what I thought. Bucky, go take him on a run. Maybe give him chocolate too. He’ll be back to normal when the gyms are back.” Tony said. Bucky nodded, unnerved slightly by Tony’s lack of reaction. 

“Are you okay?” He asked. 

“Oh yeah. You should see some of the stuff my father's friends have yelled at me when they thought I was him. Stevie here is just stressed out.” Tony said. “Oh, Peter might help. Have him play with Peter when he gets back.” 

“I think children are known for  _ increasing _ stress Tony.” Bucky said. 

“Only your own.” Tony quipped back. “Anyway, I promised Natasha that someone would be watching him, and he’s strictly prohibited to go in my lab.” 

“Well then where is he now?” bucky asked, not seeing the toddler anywhere. 

“Safe. Don’t worry about it. Anyway, go fix Steve.” Tony said, gesturing to the door. Bucky took the hint and led his friend out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY SCHOOL IS CLOSED FOR SIX WEEKS! SIX WEEKS GUYS! Until APRILE 24th! SEND HELP!


	51. FINALLY SOMETHING HAPPY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I wrote this for my friend Daisy. It's just a happy little chapter. I hope you enjoy it, and if you guys see her in the comments, send her a heart, will yah? Here's an emoticon with daisies for her if you need help: ✿♥‿♥✿

Clint woke up on his bed, for once with the covers on him and not the floor. His head was perfectly clear, a stark contrast to how he’d been feeling the last several days, and his arm was actually feeling significantly better. The doctors had decided all he needed now was a light dressing to keep it from getting infected and he’d be fine in a week or two. 

It took him a moment to find the source of his rooms tidiness because as he looked around he realized that not only was his bed made-with him in it- but both Bucky and his clothes where off the floor, and in neatly folded piles, and there were four or five trash bags stuffed full with things he didn’t want to think about piled in the corner. Over by his closet, he could see Natasha hanging up a shirt that he’d definitely stolen from someone at some point. 

“What are you doing?” Clint asked, sitting up. She whipped her head over to look at him. 

“Handing your clothing up. What does it look like?” Nat said, turning her face back to the hanger, which seemed adamant to not hold the clothing up. 

“I didn’t know I owned hangers,” Clint said. 

“You didn’t, I had to buy them,” Natasha said, shoving the shirt on the hanger aggressively. “I also bought laundry detergent. Please use it.” 

“Are you alright?” He asked, getting out of bed. 

“Fine. You should lie down, your arm is still healing.” She said, turning again so he couldn’t make eye contact with her. So he was in a danger zone. 

“It’s just a scrape really, I’m fine.” He said. 

She froze. Okay, super wrong thing to say. 

“Just a scrape? Really Clint?” She asked. 

“Do you- never mind,” she said, putting down the other shirt she had been trying to hang. “I’ll see you later.” 

“Wait- no, hey.” He said, grabbing her arm before she could retreat to who knows where. “Please stay here.” 

“I have things to do,” she said. 

“You had enough time to clean my entire room. I haven't seen the baseboards since the year began.” Clint said. 

“Trust me, I know,” she said. “Fine, but I left Peter with Tony, which means he’s with anyone but.” 

“Yay.” He said, grinning in spite of himself. 

Not letting her arm go, he went to sit on his bed. She reached across him to straighten the covers first, tugging his orange comforter into place. He sat on the bed with a bounce, forcing her to sit as well. 

“I need to dust this room,” she remarked, rubbing the crack in the wall. 

He grabbed her other hand, giving her no free room to squirm away. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, not feeling the need to beat around the bush with her. 

“I don’t know what you are talking about. Can you let me go please?” She asked. 

“No. You only ever clean when something is stressing you out, and while I highly,  _ highly _ appreciate the time you took here, something’s obviously bugging you.” He said. 

She looked down, as close to a confirmation as she ever got. 

“It’s been a stressful couple of weeks.” She said, drawing her knees up. 

“You can say that again. I’m sorry, for dragging you into all this drama. I know that you probably would rather not have to handle the gym and Peter and everything.” he said. 

“No! No, it’s not that, I love Peter, and I would much rather be here to keep you from running into a wall than holed up in my room or something,” she said. 

“The room you don’t have?” He asked. 

She shot him a glare. 

“If that’s not what’s bugging you then what is?” 

“It’s just that…” She said, not continuing. He waited. “It’s like you and Peter are cursed. With the plane and the gym and Ricky I just…” She stopped, breathing steadily for a moment, before continuing. “It makes me scared I’m gonna lose you, and I really, really don’t want to.” 

If Clint hadn’t been lost before, he sure was now. “Hey, you’re not gonna lose me. I do stupid stuff like that and always end up fine. This is like a normal Tuesday.”

“But that’s part of the problem Clint. I wigs me out to know that you are usually one stupid trick away from ending up in the hospital. Or worse.” 

Alright. He definitely knew what he was doing. This was fine. 

“It’s not like I got super hurt or anything.” 

“You were  _ impaled _ .” 

“Only a little though.” He replied. 

“You know, contrary to popular belief, I don’t actually want you dead.” She said, resting her forehead on her knees.

“You look like you need a hug.” He said. 

“Don’t want a hug.” she replied. 

“I’m giving you a hug now.” He replied. 

“No- okay you’re… alright.” She said. Despite her protests, she hugged him back tightly, burying her head against his neck. 

“See, I’m completely fine. But, if it will make you feel better, I promise to be a little more careful. Not completely careful, that would be really hard, but I can do better than I am right now.” He said. Natasha pulled away, staring directly at him. Just when he was going over the sentence, trying to figure out what he said that was wrong, she opened her mouth again. 

“I like you Clint,” she said. Okay, confusion setting in. 

“I… Like you too? We’ve known each other for almost eleven years.” 

“No like, ugh. I mean, I always enjoyed you. I was amused by your strangeness-” 

“Thank you.” 

“But- okay, so you almost died, same with Peter, and I was locked out of campus, and I literally ran back from the bus to wait by the doors and I ended up crying in a parking lot for twenty minutes because I don’t know what I would do if you died and I guess I kinda like you?” 

Clint blinked at her. It took him several minutes to even figure out if she was joking with him or not, because honestly, after trying to get her to like him for eleven years, he didn’t trust the confession. But she didn’t  _ look _ like she was pulling a prank on him. In fact, if anything, she looked scared. He couldn’t figure that one out, nothing scares Natasha, but he’d take it as proof enough. 

“For real?” He asked. 

“If I were gonna prank you about this I would have done it already.” She said. That was a very fair point. “Please don’t hug me again.” 

“ _ Hugging you again _ !” He said, hugging her. 

“This is gonna be my life now, huh?” she asked. 

“Yep!” 

0o0o0o

“Hey guys, look at Clint and Natasha on my phone!” Tony called, walking into Bruce and Thor's room, where they had all decided to hang out, for some reason. 

“Tony, don’t be creepy,” Steve said. 

“They’re kissing.” 

“ _ What? _ ” Steve and Bucky asked at the same time. All of them sprang up to look over Tony's shoulder. He tapped on a dubious looking app and showed them the footage. 

“Is that edited?” Bucky asked. 

“Nope. See, if I scroll back you can see her cleaning out your room.” Tony said. “She hit Clint in the head with your shoe.” 

“Great.” 

“Aw, she didn’t use my skull idea.” Loki pouted. “I was proud of that one.” 

“She also said no to the fire truck one. Something about how they ‘didn’t actually have dalmatians’” Thor said, pouting. 

“You guys knew?” Sam asked. 

“Yeah, she called Thor after the gym,” Loki said. “And then proceeded to not take out advice.” 

“Why didn’t you  _ tell us _ ?” Bruce asked. “Do you know how long Natasha has been giving me crap for not talking with girls well? I could have totally used this.” 

“Bruce, one time Natasha wore a crop top and you couldn’t look her in the eye for a month,” Steve said. “Was she crying?” 

“Don’t worry about that,” Tony said. “I thought you guys would want to see that.”

“That was so freakin adorable,” Thor said. 

“Ew! No! There just- it’s like when I saw Thor kiss Jane, but there was both Thor.” Loki said with a shudder. 

“Well on that horrifying mental note,” Tony said. “I’m out.” 

“Where are you going? It’s 8 o’clock at night.” Steve said. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Tony said, pulling on his jacket. 

“Consider this me worrying about it,” Steve replied, tugging Tony’s jacket back off. Tony glared at the blond, moving to snag the clothing back. 

“Steve, I feel harassed,” Tony said. 

“I don’t… care.” Steve said, holding the jacket over his head. Tony kicked him in the shin, making him drop it. 

“Thanks. Don’t wait up.” Tony said, stepping out the door before they could stop him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can get why people don't tell there crush how they feel now. You would think, based on how stressed I was when I wrote this, that I didn't control both sides of the interaction. (GO GIVE DAISY A HEART)


	52. And I oop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ekk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* there is discussion of parent death in this. I wasn't wanting to post this chapter now, but it would have been really hard to put of the plot point. Please read with caution.

“Ugh, do we need to tell everyone we’re like, together now?” Natasha asked, rolling her shoulders as she stood up from the floor. 

“I would be shocked if they didn’t already know,” Clint said. “I love Tony like a little chaos gremlin, but he can be creepy.” 

“I love chaos gremlin as his name,” Nat said, laughing a little. “But we do need to find those cameras. I looked in the walls the other day and I still couldn’t find them.” 

“Why were you in the walls?” He asked, flipping from his upside-down position on his bed to look at her. 

“Lost something,” she replied. He was too worried to question it. 

“Hey, even if we’re real dating, are we still getting fake married? Or legally married… platonic-” 

“Duh,” Natasha said, saving him from trying to figure out where that sentence was going. “Besides, Peter really needs his own bed. I found him asleep on Bruce the other night.” 

“How’d Bruce feel about that one?” He asked. She sat on the bed and showed him a photo. Bruce was panicking, and Peter was curled up on Bruce’s chest, asleep. 

“I want that framed over my casket.” He said. 

“I thought we agreed on no dying in the foreseeable future.” She chided. He pouted at her. 

“I would literally commit suicide just to that they could show that image at my funeral and Bruce would be forced to look at it.” He said. 

“Or I could just put it on a wall.” She said. 

He laughed. 

“That too. Hey, even though we’re getting platonically married, can I do a proposal?” Clint asked. 

She shot him a dubious look, but he pressed on. “For real. I mean, like, between the two of us, literally thousands of people have seen you say no, wouldn’t it be cool if like, everyone who’s ever helped came knowing you would say yes beforehand?”

“...fine. But don’t embarrass me.” She said. 

“I. Can’t,” he said. “You literally can’t be embarrassed. Remember that one time when we were at Thor's house and someone stabbed his dad in the eye?” 

“It was a normal reaction.” She said. “Gosh, how long was it till Bruce talked to me after that?” 

“Months, maybe a full year,” He laughed. 

“Yeah, and you, in your eternal wisdom and helpfulness, completely froze, and zeroed in on any of us.” She said. “It was me, Steve and Bucky.” 

“Where was Sam?” He asked. 

“Remember, he was being weird.” She said. 

They were pretty sure that Sam had some kind of personality disorder. He’d done weird… phases after disappearing when he was ten. Aside from that he was normal. 

“Oh yeah.” He replied. “I stand by that it was not a normal reaction.” 

“Well, at least I stopped the bleeding.” She defended. 

“Yeah, with your  _ shirt _ .” He said. She just grinned. 

“There weren't any towels-” she began, interrupted by a loud bang. They exchanged a glance before they both sprinted out the door and down the hallway. They were met with the unpleasant surprise of Odin, swaying in the doorway to their floor, and no one to be found. 

“He-ey Odin,” Clint said. 

0o0o0o

Tony was suspended mid-air when the alarm in the lab went off, startling him and almost forcing him to smack into a (rather pointy) wall. Thankfully he undid his harness in time and dropped, mostly unharmed, the last ten or so feet to the ground. He quickly swiped up a hologram to display what was happening, cursing when he saw Odin in the hallway. 

“Hey Jar?” He said, “Protocol ‘Don’t Tell Them’. Keep Thor and Loki away from Odin at all costs, alright?” 

“Right away sir,” Jarvis said. “Should I inform the others of the situation downstairs?” 

“Everyone not around them,” Tony said, kicking his harness across the floor. “And keep the weapons ready.” 

“Do you really think that’s necessary?” Jarvis asked. 

“Like I’m gonna pass up an opportunity to char the bastard. We’ve seen the same footage.” Tony said. “Just don’t pull out anything too destructive. You remember the code word?” 

“Being an AI designed by you with an unlimited memory bank, it would be literally impossible for me to forget.” The AI said. 

Tony sighed. “Fair.” 

With that, he sprinted down the stairs, concerned for what he would find. Upon arrival, he saw Odin, who seemed definitely drunk, giving Natasha and Clint a piece of his mind. 

“So ungrateful. Y’know, didn't think they’d ever been back anyway, budda  _ funeral _ -” 

“Okay asshole, time to clock out,” Tony said, stepping between his friends and the drunk man. “Did you drive here yourself? Please tell me you did.” 

“I DEMAND to see my children,” Odin yelled. 

“They’re in class,” they weren't in class. “You need to go to the headmaster to find their schedule.” 

“No. I came here, they needa be here.” Odin said, stomping his foot and throwing down a bottle of  _ something _ . The glass and presumably alcohol flew across the carpet, and Tony instinctively took a step forward. 

“Come on. Clint, help me,” He said, wincing when he heard the glass crunch farther into the carpet as he stepped forward to grab Odin's arm. 

Clint went to step forward, but not before Odin reacted. 

Tony didn’t have time to process what happened, all he knew is that one moment he was upright, and the next, he’d been thrown across the floor, his cheek throbbing. Chaos erupted after that. With a seemingly unspoken agreement, Natasha went after Odin, while Clint knelt next to him. Bucky and Steve ran in at one point as well, although it was hard to tell when. The end result was Odin was outside and so was Natasha. 

“Should we let her be alone with him?” Steve asked, after realizing that Natasha hadn’t come back in with them. 

“We can’t ‘let’ Nat do anything, she just gives the illusion of giving us power,” Bucky said. “I’m sure she’ll be fine.” 

“Tony you can’t  _ do  _ things like that,” Clint said, seemingly content he had nothing worse than a black eye. 

“Well, I couldn’t tell how drunk he was,” Tony replied. “I’m fine anyway, if I’m lucky this will heal overnight.” 

“Have you ever been lucky?” Bucky asked. 

“You know, there are people in the world that would consider me one of the luckiest humans alive today,” Tony said, smirking. 

It’s true- he’d been told as much by a reporter. 

“Well, clearly no one that knew you,” Clint muttered, stalking over to the freezer and grabbing an ice pack. 

He wrapped it in a towel and handed it to Tony. 

“Haha. You should have your own show,” he said sarcastically, unwrapping the ice pack and putting it directly on the bruise. 

“You’re gonna get frostbite,” Steve said, retrieving the towel from where it had been chucked. 

“For crying out loud, I’ve had a black eye before. I barely need to ice it.” He replied, shooting his overly concerned friends a glare. 

“I’m gonna go explain what just happened to the wonder brothers back there,” Tony said, nodding to the doorway. 

“Wait, don’t!” Clint said. 

Tony smirked. 

“Why not?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. 

“I haven't told them yet. You know, about Frigga.” Clint muttered. 

“What about her?” Steve asked. 

“Okay, so like, you remember when I went back into their house when we got Loki, and I said everything was fine?” Clint asked. 

He assumed that Steve nodded, but Tony was focused more on Loki, who was clearly listening from the doorway. “Well, EVERYTHING WASN’T FINE.” 

“What do you mean by that?” Steve asked. 

Tony made a shooting motion with his hand at the spying teen. Loki silently shushed him. 

“Well I ran in right, and I asked Thor if he wanted to go check with me but Thor said no,” Clint said. 

“Yeah,” Bucky replied. 

“Frigga died,” Clint said. 

Tony smacked his head with his hand and stood up. Loki was gone.

“What’d you do that for?” Bucky asked, “And are we sure he doesn't have a concussion?” 

“Good job guys, you just told the suicidal teenager who has been eavesdropping since the shield lifted. Jarvis, where did Loki go?” He asked. 

“Wait, he was  _ what _ ?” Steve asked. 

“Frigga died?” Bucky said. 

“Loki Odinson does not appear to be in the building at the moment, would now be a good time to activate the chip?” Jarvis asked. 

“Yes! Okay, someone needs to tell Thor and then we need to look for him.” Tony said. 

“Would you like all chips activated or only Loki’s?” Jarvis interrupted. 

“Well, what do you think?” He asked, annoyed. 

“I do not possess the capability to think sir.” The AI said. He sighed. 

“Everyones. I don’t want to take any chances with Thor. although it doesn't really seem like his thing.” He muttered, pulling out his phone to check if the tracker was working yet. 

“Wait, what did you activate?” Bucky said.

“It’s really complicated and the whole explanation will take too long and freak you out, but basically if the chip senses brain waves indicative of someone wanting to harm themselves, it will induce temporary paralysis.” He said. “Damn, he’s already too far away, my phone can’t pick anything up.” 

“And uh, who exactly has these trackers?” Steve asked. 

“Not important right now.” He said. “Look, I promise to explain everything in more depth later, but it’s completely possible that Loki is on a bus making its way across the country so let's get a move on. Are one of you going to tell Thor what's going on or should I?” He asked. 

“I’ll do it,” Clint said, standing up. 

“Good. Steve, I want you to go get Natasha okay, and make sure Odin is driving away before he hears about this-” 

“Isn’t he super drunk?” Steve said, ``he could crash.” 

“I know what I said. Bucky, you’re with me.” 

“Why am I with Tony?” Bucky whined. He glared at him for a moment before realizing he wasn’t joking. 

“Because you are the person here best equipped to think like a depressed teenager who just found out his mom is dead, now everyone, please go.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bum bum BUUUM 
> 
> Also, I've thought about changing the name of this, anyone have ideas?


	53. Bridges are dangerous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so. much. angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW here for... like... everything. Stay safe.

Natasha wiped the blood off her lip, looking at Odin struggling on the ground. She was going to kick him out when the door next to her banged open, making her jump. The heel of her boot landed square on Odin's hand, making the man groan and roll in agony. 

“Oh shut up, you deserved that.” She said, grinding her heel a bit. “What do you need Steve?” 

“We have an emergency.” Steve said. 

“This wasn’t one?” She asked. 

“Clint accidentally told Loki about his mom and now we can’t find him. Also we all have chips in our necks, but Tony said that with air quotes, so I don’t actually know where they are.” Steve said. His phone beeped and he read the message quickly before sighing. “And Clint just said he broke Thor.” 

“Alright.” She said. “Lets go.” 

It took them almost three hours to pinpoint Loki’s actual location, much to the annoyance of everyone else. 

“What’s even the point of the chips if you can’t do creepy tracker science?” Bucky whined. 

“What’s even the point of you being here if you aren't going to be helpful every moment of your life?” Tony shot back. “The trackers aren’t all that accurate. Their main function was to prevent suicide. The tracker aspect was a last-minute touch, and at least it has told us he isn’t anywhere near here.” 

“You’re an asshole.” Bucky said, throwing a wad of paper at Tony. 

“Dick.” 

“Little-” 

“Alright, Bucky, why don’t you go help Bruce make more pasta?” Clint said, grabbing the brunette by his arm and dragging him into the kitchen. 

“No more dessert pasta.” Bucky said. “I just can’t handle that anymore.” 

“You can take that up with Bruce.” Clint said. 

Bucky huffed, but left nevertheless, for which everyone was thankful. 

“Guys, I think I might have him.” Tony said, sitting up. 

He tapped a few things on his phone and a hologram, a real-life hologram, popped up, showing a map with one blinking red dot. “Jar?” 

“The individual you located is seventeen years of age, presents as male from birth, located in Naperville, and has been in temporary paralysis for two hours and seven-point three minutes.” Jarvis supplied. 

“Sounds right!” Steve said. “Uh, should we get Thor or…” 

“He should be fine to come.” Clint said. “He seems to have decided that repression was the best tactic to take so he should be able to make it through that at least.” 

“Thank goodness. I don’t wanna know how we’re gonna get him out without Thor.” Steve said. “Bruce, turn your pasta off. We’re going to go get Loki.” 

“You found Loki?” Bucky asked, running back in. 

“Yep, guess you were the curse.” Tony quipped, grabbing his jacket. 

“Well let's go then.” Bucky said. 

They nodded in agreement, and made their way to the car in four(ish) minutes. 

“Okay, well you guys should know a few things about the chip before we get there,” Tony said. 

Bucky shuddered next to Natasha. 

“Oh, grow up, Bucky.” 

“I am NOT apologizing for being wigged about this.” Bucky said. 

“So, the chip stayed inactive for a couple weeks. I put them in immediately after the first time with Loki,” Tony said. “They work by reading your brain waves to determine if your action is being taken with the intent of harming oneself, so it may freeze things like, and a completely random example here, compulsive exercise.” 

“Wait, so how do you deactivate it?” Sam asked. 

“You must be within six inches of another chip. So if Bucky were to freeze, and then Steve hugged him, he would be unfrozen.” Tony explained. “Like Frozen except no… ice.” 

“But why would Bucky get frozen?” Steve asked. 

Tony looked at him like he was the stupidest thing in the world for a moment. 

“If Bucky's actions were to be interpreted as or with the intention of self harming.” Tony said, slowing his speech pattern just enough to seem demeaning while having deniability. 

“So you can basically deactivate them by hugging?” Clint asked. “That's so cute!” 

“Suspiciously cute. Why’d you make that design Tony?” Sam asked, taking out a notepad to scribble on. 

Tony raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on the notebook. 

“Don’t get all sappy on me, I just figured that was the safest because if you’re hugging them you can probably get them away from an edge or something. Also if it were further away you wouldn’t be able to get anything away in the first place.” Tony said. 

Natasha couldn’t help but feel proud that he had, for once, taking safety into account. 

She messed his hair, laughing at his face. 

“Ew, what’s in your hair?” 

“Hair gel,” Tony said, batting away the hand. “A normal amount,  _ Clint _ .” 

“I don’t know what you are insinuating. I use one serving size.” Clint said. 

“No, you use one jar at a time.” Tony said. “Jarvis thought you were having a seizure.”

“Speaking off, don’t you still have epilepsy? Did you ever get medication?” Clint asked. 

“Don’t worry about that. Anyway, we’re getting close.” Tony said, showing the tracker counting down the miles on his phone. 

“Is that his exact spot?” Steve asked, “It looks like he is standing in the middle of the street.” 

“Of course not.” Tony said. “I told you this is an approximation. He’ll be within ten or so miles.” 

“He’s right there.” Bucky said, pointing to a spot just up to the left of the blinking red dot. 

“Why do you know that?” Steve asked. 

“I’m sorry, highway 420 over passing the 73ed road with a 69 foot drop. Of course he went there.” Bucky said. 

“What does the 73 mean?” Sam asked. “Or do I not want to know?” 

“It’s the twenty-first prime number, the mirror of 37, which if you multiply together the digits of, you get 21.” Bucky said without missing a beat. 

They just blinked at him. 

“Whatever, the rest of my class likes it too.” 

“I don’t know how I keep forgetting you are a math major,” Bruce said, “But it never ceases to disturb me.” 

“Okay, the bridge is just around the corner, Bucky, do you wanna get him?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah. Be right back.” 

0o0o0o

Bucky crawled over Clint comforting Thor, who seemed completely unaware of his surroundings, and jumped out onto the sidewalk, only then realizing he forgot his shoes. Shrugging it off, he stretched quickly before rounding the corner. Just as he’d predicted the missing teenager was sitting perched on the railing. Or he was assuming it was Loki unless some other rail-shaped kid had gotten frozen on the rail.

“Loki?” He asked, stepping forward. 

He leaned over the rail to look at his face. Definitely Loki. 

“We came to get you.” 

Loki remained silent. He didn’t know if that was strictly by choice or not, although it was hard to think of what the teenager would say. 

“Tony told me that you’re gonna be, like, paralyzed or something. Just for a bit though. He said I need to hug you to un-paralyze you. Or something.” He said.

On getting no indication from Loki on what to do, he wrapped his arms around the teen. About two seconds later, Loki’s rigid poster relaxed slightly, signaling that Tony had been right and the paralysis was undone, and Bucky was able to pull the teen off the bridge somewhat safely.

Once the teenager was a good distance away from the ledge, and Bucky had checked several times to make sure he could actually move, he started to walk to where the car was definitely stopping traffic. 

“Wait.” Loki said. His voice sounded raspy, probably from not talking for hours. “I… don’t wanna see them yet.” 

“That makes sense.” Bucky replied, turning back. They stood side by side, looking out at the traffic underneath them. 

“Does my brother know?” Loki asked. 

He couldn’t tell if Loki was referring to their mother, or his apparent suicide attempt, but the answer stayed the same. 

“Yes. He’s in the car right now.” He said. 

“How’d he take hearing about our mom?” Loki asked. 

Bucky watched the teen’s face closely. It was unnerving. In some ways he's managed to hide all emotion from his expression, but it was as if they were all stuck just under the surface. Bucky was worried if he said the wrong thing he could break the careful tension there. 

“Not well. He’s refusing to talk about it with anyone. If we mention it he acts like he doesn't know what we’re talking about.” He said. “It doesn't help that he is worried out of his mind for his little brother.” 

“He shouldn’t be.” Loki said. “I wasn’t going to do anything.” 

“You and I both know that’s bullshit,” He said, surprising Loki. 

He hadn’t been planning on talking about  _ feelings _ with anyone, but here they were. “Listen, Tony put a creepy, awful, invasive, horrifying device in all of our brains, but the one upside to his creation is I have zero doubt that he would ever mess something like this up. According to your actual brain waves you were intending to end your life out here Loki.” 

Loki’s eyes widened a little, and he stepped back from Bucky. “I wasn’t… I mean… Listen, there was just-” 

Bucky's heard this speech before. Hell, he was pretty sure he had given this speech before. And been on the other end. 

“Loki, I don’t care what you try to tell me right now, I know what you came here to do, and I know that without Tony’s weird-ass tracker freezing thing, you would be dead right now, so please, for fucks sake, come with me to the car so we can keep a eye on you.” He said. Loki widened his eyes further. 

“You don’t need to watch me like a little kid.” He muttered, curling his hands up around his hoodie. One of Bucky's old ones he noted idly. 

“Well then prove it to me and stop acting like you're Peter's age.” He said. Loki scowled and pushed past him, presumably headed to the car. He pretended to not hear what Loki muttered about him as he followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Please comment I crave human interaction.


	54. Drunk and sad “¯\_(ツ)_/¯“

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EEK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UuUuUuUgggg. SOrry this is late, I was writing the oneshot I just posted. Also, my sister thinks I should post my tiktok here, so if you wanna see me face: gretagiselle101 or @mayyourwififoreverbefast

Everyone, sanse Loki, was seated in the living room, discussing the depressed teenager in hushed tones. 

“I mean, thankfully he, apparently isn’t able to kill himself, thanks to Tony,” Clint said. Tony smiled at that. “But that doesn't fix  _ him _ it just keeps him safe.” 

Thor sighed, before lifting his head, from where he had been intently staring at the floor. “There is one thing we haven't tried yet,” he said. “He’d kill me for even adjusting it but…” 

“What is it?” Sam asked. He was as eager as the rest of them to help the teenager. 

“He’s been dating this girl for years. I don’t know how old they were when they met, but they started dating in elementary school. My parents didn’t care because they were so young, but then they just never broke up.” thor said. “She’s a cheerleader and has dealt with this kind of stuff with other girls on her team. Loki might listen to her.”

“Wait…  _ what _ ?” Sam asked. “How did we not know?” 

“Loki has a couple of things like that,” Thor said. “Trust me, this isn’t the only thing.”

“I mean, let's call her then. She can facetime him or-” Steve started. 

“I sent the helicopter to her,” Tony said. They all swivel their heads to look at him. “What? I dated one of her friends.” 

“I hate you,” Bruce said. 

“Fair.”

0o0o0o

‘Tony- TONY!”Clint yelled. His voice echoed out around the lab. He glared at the bare metal walls as if they had personally offended him.

“What?” Tony yelled. He walked quickly to the sound of his voice. He found him just as he swung the doors to a random cabinet. He raised an eyebrow as Tony popped a mint in his mouth and grinned at him. 

“Hi,” he said. Clint grinned. “What did you do?” 

“Nothing, why?” Tony asked. He eyed the cabinet suspiciously, but decided to not mention anything yet. 

“Because you just managed to both save Loki’s life, then shave hours off our search for him off with your tracker device, and then contact the person we are  _ hoping _ will be able to help him in the long run, and you still won’t hang out with us down there.” He said. Tony just rolled his eyes. 

“I have things to do,” He said. 

“Well you can do them down there with us. Really, Bucky just got an egg stuck in his mouth again and he and Steve are freaking out about it.” Clint said. Tony gave a long sigh, before seeming to come to a decision. 

“Fuck this,” He sighed. 

“Hey, you’re too young to swear...” Clint said, his reprimand trailing off when Tony re-opened the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of something-probably alcohol- and poured more than one serving size into a glass. “Okay, definitely too young to drink.” 

“Whatever. I’ve been drinking almost as long as I could do my time's tables, it’s long past the intervention stage by now.” Tony said. Clint didn’t even want to think about when Tony would have learned multiplication, but he knew that however old it was, it was still  _ too young _ . 

“No. No no no just… hold on.” He said, grabbing his phone. “I’m gonna make a call.” 

“Call away, just step away from the thing you're standing next to, it’ll blow up with any direct cellular interactions,” Tony said. 

“Great. Be right back.” He said, stepping outside and pressing Natashas name. The phone rang three times before she picked up. 

“Hello?” She said. 

“Hi Nat, listen, are you doing anything right now?” 

“Um, I’m giving Peter a bath, but he’s like, behaving or something, so I can talk if it’s an emergency.” She said. He could vaguely hear Peter laughing in the background and Natasha covering the phone for a second. 

“Listen, I had a Steve idea,” He said. 

“Uh oh. What else happened?” She asked. 

“Okay, so like, Tony’s really drunk right now-” He started. 

“ _ What _ ?” She asked. He winced at her tone. He’d been on the receiving end of that too many times before. 

“And so I was just going to remove all the alcohol I could find, but then I realized something when he mentioned how long he’d been drinking in his life,” Clint said. Natasha didn’t say anything, but he could practically  _ hear _ the face she was making. “If I got him even drunker, he might tell me things that he wouldn’t sober.” 

“That is a truly awful idea,” She said. 

“But hear me out though, he won’t tell us what the hell has happened that’s made him like this, at least not sober, or however drunk he normally is, this might be the only way.” He said.   
“I don’t know Barton,” She said, “We’ve already had one teenager crisis today, maybe it would be best to hold off, just for now, and like, wait until we can focus on whatever this is more.” She said, sounding very reasonable. 

“Yeah, that would be smart, okay, follow up question, what if I… already had.” He asked, wincing. 

“What did you do?” Nat asked. 

“Well, I didn’t give him alcohol, I’m just not actively discouraging it.” He said. 

“Clint, that is an awful idea, tell me what he says,” Natasha said, hanging up. Clint blinked, before putting his phone in his pocket and stepping back into the lab. 

“Back already?” Tony asked, now seated at a desk. Clint shrugged. “Alright.” 

“So you know Loki’s girlfriend?” Clint asked. 

“Yeah like I said, I dated a friend of hers. Girl on the cheer team actually. She was pretty but super intense. Plus, her friend kept trying to take pictures of me sleeping.” Tony said. 

“Wait, how long ago was this?” Clint asked. Tony just grinned. 

“Long enough.” great. 

“You know, you saved Loki’s life today,” Clint said, sitting in the chair across from him. Tony raised an eyebrow. 

“If we’re gonna talk about this, we both need to be drunk,” Tony said, taking another glass and handing it to Clint. He sighed but took a sip anyway. 

“Ugh! That's like… like rubbing alcohol and NyQuil all in one.” He said. “And like, bleach too. Ew!” Tony raised an eyebrow at him. “I mean, I’ve definitely had alcohol before.” 

“Mhm,” Tony said, downing half his glass without reacting. This was fine.

“I was serious Tony, what you did with Loki, he would be dead right now if you hadn’t.” He said. Tony just shook his head. 

“I can make some upgrades though, maybe find a way to make it less uncomfortable, or a failsafe in case you are already to-” Tony started. 

“Dude, take the win! It’s okay that Loki was a little cold, he tried to commit suicide. He would be a lot less comfortable if he was dead.” Clint said. “And anyway, you aren't responsible to save everyone's life. It’s amazing that you have done as much for us as you have already!” 

“Finish your drink and I’ll explain.” 

O0o0o0o

“Natasha!” Tony said loudly. “I have your boyfriend, he’s really drunk.” 

Tony promptly dropped Clint onto his bed, where Nat was sitting, trying to comb out Peter's tangled hair. She was starting to question if she had actually used shampoo, or if someone had left elmer's glue in the shower. She looked at Clint, who had stayed in the heap he was left in. 

“Not my boyfriend.” She said. Tony just laughed. 

“Sure he isn’t. Tell him next time that dozens of people have tried that on me. Oh, and if he wakes up and starts saying disturbing things about squids, that was what I told him to keep him drinking.” He said, adjusting his jacket and ducking out. 

“ Wai’!” Peter yelled, hopping off her lap. “Go wif ‘Ony?” He said, walking determinedly over to Tony. He made a face, before picking the toddler up. 

“Sure. I’m gonna show you how to disarm a bomb.” He said. 

“You better be joking!” She yelled. Tony just laughed. He wouldn’t put a child in danger like that though. Probably. 

“Hmm. Tasha?” Clint asked, sitting up after the door slammed. She laughed at her boyfriend as he accidentally rolled off the bed onto the floor. “Owwww.” 

“Oh so eloquent.” She said. 

“What happened?” He asked, rubbing his head. 

“You got played by a fifteen-year-old. Really, really well.” She said. “Also I’m going to hope that Tony wasn’t drinking too because he just took Peter. Presumably up to his lab.” 

“How? Itwazza fail-proof plan.” He said. “He told me all about that squid and-” 

“He was messing with you. Apparently you are not the first person to try this on him.” She said, patting his head. “Sorry. You tried really hard though.” 

“Hmph.” He said, crossing his arms like a small child. She laughed, suddenly struck with how similar he looked to Peter sitting in the sink while she scrubbed him with soap. “What?” 

“You’re adorable is all.” She said, “Disgustingly so.” 

“Aw, thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe and healthy ya'll! Check out my sad oneshot, and my tiktok gretagiselle101 or @mayyourwififoreverbefast
> 
> Wow I really am just doing all the self promo today. Sorry “¯\\_(ツ)_/¯“


	55. Bum Bum BUUUM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy and stay safe ya'll!

“Loki?” Thor asked, sitting next to his brother. “Loki, I did something that you are gonna be mad about.” He said. His brother didn’t show any reaction, only pulling a blanket tighter around his shoulders. “And I am sorry I told them, but I really want to help you and I think that this might be the only way to help you.” 

“Whatever.” Loki said, turning so his back was square to Thor. 

“I had Tony call Bella over.” Thor said. Loki tensed as soon as he said that, turning to face him with a horrified look. 

“You did what?” Loki asked, his voice sounded strange from disuse. 

“I just… I’m sorry okay! But I needed to do something! You won’t talk to me Loki, and, even with Tony’s chip in your head, I don’t want you to feel like that all the time. And what if the chip fails, and you figure it out somehow? Besides, Bella deserves to know, doesn't she?” He asked. Loki turned around to look at him finally. 

“No.” 

His brother looked like a total wreck. His hair was tangled and matted, it clearly hadn’t been smothered with hair gel like usual, and his face was pale, a stark contrast to the dark circles under his eyes. He kept his distance from Thor still, but remained facing him. 

“She would find out anyway Loki! You can talk constantly, at this point, she can practically read your mind. What do you think would be worse, you tell her yourself or she finds out a month or so later and freaks out then?” He asked. 

“I’m opting for never.” Loki said. 

“See, already you are saying more words than you have to me since we got back! This is why we called her!” He said enthusiastically. 

“Whatever.” Loki said, pulling out his phone. 

“See, you’re up to almost six!” Thor said. Loki shot him a confused look, counting on his fingers, before rolling his eyes and grabbing his phone, which had been buzzing non-stop the whole time. “Who’s texting you?” 

“Who do you think?” He asked. Loki read the messages without responding, before throwing his phone, with maybe a little too much force, at Bruce’s bed. 

“You should respond.” He said. Loki just glared at him. 

“I’m going to sleep.” Loki said. 

“It’s three in the afternoon.” Thor said. “Don’t you wanna come hang out?” 

“Goodnight Thor.” 

0o0o0o

“Tony, we are talking about this or so help me-” Natasha said, bursting into Tony's lab. Tony and Peter stay completely still. “Tony!” 

“Don’t. Move. The. Screwdriver.” Tony said. 

“What- are you actually teaching him how to defuse a bomb Tony? I thought you said that as a joke!” She said, walking over as fast as she could. 

“Okay Peter, now carefully, carefully, remove the metal conductor with the rubber tweezers, okay?” Peter did as he was told, dropping the piece into a dish. 

“ _ Tony!” _ Natasha yelled. 

“What? He did it!” Tony said, pushing the disassembled bomb into a trash can. Peter saw her and gave her a huge gap tooth grin. 

“Aun’ Tasha! I didz it!” He said happily, high-fiving Tony. Tony laughed at the boy, and lifted him off the stool to allow him to run over to Natasha. 

“You can’t just-” She started. 

“Не волнуйтесь, это была фальшивая бомба. Это взорвало бы только бумагу”  _ Don’t worry, it was a fake bomb, it would explode confetti. _ Tony said in fluent Russion, catching her off guard. 

“You speak Russion?” She asked. He raised an eyebrow. 

“Aun’ Tasha, what'd he say?” Peter asked, tugging on her jeans. She just picked him up, offering no explanation. 

“Oh come on, with his life, do you really think it’s a bad thing for him to have that skill?” Tony asked. “He’s, how old are you, two, and has already been in two explosions.” 

“Hey! I’m twee!” Peter shouted, holding up four fingers. Tony laughed. 

“First off, only one of those was from a bomb but… ugh, not important right now, I came here to ask you a question.” She said. 

“Ask away.” Tony said, spinning on his chair. 

“Hey Peter, can you run downstairs and find Clint for me? Tell him I sent you.” Natasha said, not wanting the boy to hear the conversation. Peter nodded and scampered off to the door. 

“Uh oh, what did I do?” Tony asked.

“I need to talk to you about Bella.” Natasha said. Tony sighed in relief and spun his chair again. 

“Thank goodness, ask away.” Tony said. 

“How do you know her?” She asked. “You knew where she was and her name, and called a helicopter. How would you know that if the rest of us didn’t even know she existed?” 

“I dated her friend for a week or two. Actually, more like an enemy. They were always around each other though.” Tony said. “Both on some kind of team. Cheer I think.” 

“Uh huh, and why did you know she was dating Loki?” Nat asked. 

“How did I- dude, it was like, so obvious. Like, shove it in your face and bash it in over and over again obvious.” Tony said. “I don’t think Loki remembers me, which wouldn’t surprise me, because he literally didn’t look away from her the whole time. Rather disgusting.” 

“So you were just… in texas? For no reason?” Natasha asked. 

“My dad had a work thing, he wanted to parade me around a little, but any time after four he was drunk enough for me to slip away.” Tony said. 

“So Loki really has a girlfriend?” Natasha asked again. 

“Yep. And she’s gonna be here in about two hours,” Tony replied. “Oh, yeah, she’s a little scary. Like, you’ll be fine, but keep small, vulnerable people, like Clint and Steve, away from her.” 

“Great.” 

0o0o0o

“Loki. Loki. Loki. Loki. Please don’t be angry. Loki. Loki. Loki.” Thor said, poking his brother in the shoulder. “Loki. Loki. Loki. Loki. Loki. Loki. Loki-” 

“For fucks sake Thor, leave me alone!” Loki said, finally annoyed into speaking. “I don’t want to talk with you.” 

“First of all, you are too young to swear like that, second, I want to fix this!” Thor said. 

“Well you can’t Thor. Everything is so screwed up!” Loki said. “Whatever, I’m going on a walk. I’ll see you later.” Loki said, storming past Thor. 

“Loki!” Thor said, moving to grab his brother's hand. Loki snapped his arm back to his side. “Please talk to me!” 

“I’ll be back. Don’t worry, I won’t do anything, Tony’s made sure of that.” Loki said, walking out and slamming the door as hard as he could. 

“Loki!” Thor called, but his brother was already gone. “Great.”

0o0o0o

“Tony, Loki ran away again,” Thor said. “I don’t know where he went.” 

Tony looked up, happy for the distraction from his conversation with Natasha, and smiled at Thor. “Do you want me to pull up the tracker for you?” 

“Yes please!” Thor said. “I know you put the chip in but…” 

“Doesn't mean he’s perfectly safe. Let's see,” Tony said, pulling up a hologram display. “Well, he’s still on campus, but not in the doors. Looks like Bella will be here in like, two minutes, so she can help you look.” 

“Thank you Tony,” Thor said. “Wait, how do you know where Bella is, are you tracking the helicopter?” 

Tony gestured to a hologram with a map on it to Thor's right. “I’m flying it.” 

“What?” Thor asked. 

“Well, technical, I’m not flying it, I’m more… guiding it, if that makes you feel any better. I have all hellacopters predetermine the dorms as homebase.” Tony said. “Anyway, if I were you I would get around to greeting her, she’ll be on the roof.” 

“Okay… I’ll… thanks Tony.” Thor said, running up to the roof. Natasha stepped out from behind the table as Thor barreled by. 

“That’s creepy.” Tony said. 

“Oh, I’m creepy, huh?” She asked. 

“Yes?” Tony said. “Anyway, I need to get back to this so…” Tony said, pointing to a half constructed bot. 

“Tony,” Natasha said. “Whatever that is, you don’t need to finish that. Why not come help us look for Loki?” 

“Loki’s at the greenhouse.” Tony said, not looking up. “I didn’t tell Thor to give the guy a minute. Plus, Bella will be able to find him anyway.” 

“Well, come hang out with us then. We’re gonna watch Loki and Bella.” She said. “I trust you not at all up here by yourself.” 

“‘M up here alone all the time.” Tony said. 

“Doesn't mean I trust you here.” She said. Tony was gonna reply, but a loud bang interrupted him, making him jump back. 

“Sounds like the helicopter landed.” Tony said. “Come on,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... my family almost deffenetly has Covid-19. Let me tell you, 0/10, would not recommend. I might be a bit slower on the updating, but I will probably add to my last oneshot a little bit. Also, excuse all my spelling, I feel to crappy to do much checking.


	56. Enter Bella

Natasha couldn’t remember the last time she felt surprised by something one of her friends had done, save for when she was just shocked by their stupidity, but she had to admit, Bella surprised her. She hadn’t seemed fazed by Tony's helicopter at all, although maybe mildly annoyed, and she took the giant crowd of college boys asking her prying questions about her boyfriend in stride. 

Natasha also had to admit, she had not envisioned Loki to date someone like Bella, given how hard Loki tried to be  _ not a texus _ . She was tall, almost as tall as Natasha and definitely taller than Tony, and blonde, and spoke with a texas accent, calling all of them ‘sugar’ or ‘honey’. She hugged everyone, even remembering having met Tony for a brief period, before leaving to find Loki with Thor. 

“What. Was. that?” bucky asked once she’d left and they had returned to the inside of the dorm building. 

“I donno. Wrong?” Steve said. “Thats… wow. Huh.” 

“How did we not know?” Clint asked, looking just as puzzled as he had when Thor had first told them about Bella. To be fair, he hadn’t really stopped. 

“Well, Loki doesn't mind lying to us, and he’s pretty okay with not talking so…” Bruce said, shrugging. Apparently he had regained his ability to speak. 

“Well how long have they known each other though? She said sense elementary school, he wouldn’t have just lied to us the whole time,” Steve said. 

“Wouldn’t he?” Natasha asked. Steve blinked at her, seemingly confused by her answer. She just shrugged. “You’ve met him, right?” 

“It’s just so long.” Steve said. 

“I’m sorry, is no one gonna talk about how that girl is the embodiment of Texas?” Clint asked. Bucky slammed his hands on the table. 

“ _ Thank you!”  _

0o0o0o0

Thor was showing Bella around campus, hoping to find his brother at the same time, when he got cornered by her. 

“So why am I here?” Bella asked, flicking her blond hair off her shoulder. 

“Did I not tell you?” Thor asked. “Hm, thought I told you. Hey, maybe Loki’s this way!” He said, trying to distract. She stopped walking, crossing her tan arms and glaring at him. 

“You did not and we both know that. Hon, I was just flown out here by a weirdo genius who dated my nemesis on a self flying helicopter because apparently he thought it was important enough that I talk to Lokes, don’t you tell me nothing happened.” She said, narrowing her eyes at Thor. 

“Um…” 

“And why wasn’t he in Texas in the first place? There is no way it is legal to have him livin’ with yall up here.” She said, placing her hands on her narrow hips. 

“Maybe he’s in the greenhouse.” Thor said, walking quickly to the trail that leads to the structure. Bella followed him, although she still looked suspicious. Thor quickly found the end of the trail, leading to the glass structure. “Ladies first.” He said, waving his hands. Bella just rolled her eyes and walked in. 

“He-llo?” she called, loud enough to startle Thor. There was a russling over in a corner, catching both of their attention. 

“Loki? Are you in here?” Thor called. A flower plant sores, crashing a inch away from his face, making him jump back. 

“Found him.” Bella said. 

0o0o0o

“Aw, look how happy Loki looks,” Clint said, squinting at Tonys phone. They had been against the idea of watching the recordings until Tony started narrating what was happening, when they suddenly became invested. Apparently they also enjoyed watching Thor squirm uncomfortably. 

“I still can’t believe he wouldn’t ever tell us,” Steve muttered. “I mean, it definitely looks like they have known each other for a long time. 

“Eh, not really surprising,” Bruce said. They all turned to look at him, surprised to hear him give any opinion in their conversation. “What? He’s made it pretty clear he isn’t big on sharing his emotions.” 

“Fair.” Bucky said, making Steve swat him in the arm. “Ow!” 

“Oh shut up, it’s your metal arm.” Steve said. 

“Still hurts.” Bucky grumbled. They vaguely heard a crash in the other room, making them all freeze. 

“Okay, who isn’t here?” Steve asked, counting their heads. Natasha sighed and left, returning a moment later with Peter, who looked disheveled. 

“Izzn’t mah fault, da bookshelf jus’ fell.” Peter said. “I wazzust stan’ing der, and, and da books all went BOOM!” Peter explained, adding hand gestures for emphasis. Natasha nodded, clearly only half listening to the story. 

“I’ma go fix that,” Tony said, setting his phone on the table, “You guys can keep watching.” 

The device showed the greenhouse, at a improbably good angle, where Loki was talking animatedly to Bella and Thor, a strange contrast to how he had been behaving an hour ago. Bucky picked up the phone, trying to exit the… app… that they were watching on. When he did however, the phone started beeping and blinking red. 

_ “Initiating SIphone Self Destruction Due To Unrecognized Fingerprint prodigal.”  _ Jarvis said above them. A moment later the phone crumpled in on itself, as if being crushed by an invisible force. 

“Okay, THAT was not my fault.” Bucky said, backing away from the phone. 

“Well who’s fingerprint do you think it was, dumbass?” Clint said. Peter laughed next to him. “I mean… you know what, Bucky already taught him all the bad words, whatever.” 

“No.” 

0o0o0o

“Hello.” Natasha said, startling Bella. She didn’t jump, but did spin around rather quickly, a surprisingly good reaction for someone not used to Nat. 

“Oh, you’re Natasha right?” She asked. That would explain it. “I don’t know if I fully introduced myself on the roof, I’m Bella Grace. Most people just call me Bella though.” Bella said. Unlike Thor and Loki, she made no attempt to sound like she hadn’t grown up in Texas, which was probably for the better, the accent went with her personality. 

“Hi Bella. Follow me.” Natasha said, turning around. She could tell by the click of high heels that Bella was doing so. 

“Where are we going?” Bella asked. 

“I’m gonna show you around. Trust me, it is more important here than you would think.” Nat said, thinking about Tonys lab. Bella nodded. 

“This is the dorm with all the weird crap in it, right? Loki was telling me about that, he just loves all the stuff here.” She said, showing Natasha a screenshot she had taken on Loki. He had a completely blank expression, but had a strange filter on his eyes and was holding what looked like half a robot. 

“Weird crap is generous.” Natasha said. “We have Tony, and where Tonys go, weird crap goes.” 

“Yeah, I remember Tony, he was this tiny little gramlen of a human, bless his heart.” Bella said, laughing. Natasha laughed too, it was a pretty good description. 

“Yeah. I’m surprised you remember him, he seemed under the impression you wouldn’t.” Nat said. She was technically trying to make conversation, but it also worked to her benefit to find out as much about Tony's life before now as she could. 

“Oh well Tony just makes such a big impression wherever he goes, he turned anything into an event. Yah know, this one girl I knew, she has such a nice… personality… bless her heart.” Bella said. “But she was just so obsessed with him, the poor thing, I think she has posters of his face in her room.” 

“How… old is she?” Natasha asked. 

“Oh, seventeen, eighteen maybe, I don’t know, Loki really knows her better than I do,” Bella said. 

“Where’s Loki right now anyway?” Natasha asked. From his reaction on Tonys phone she had assumed they would be glued to each other the whole time. 

“Oh, he fell asleep somewhere over there.” Bella said, waving her hand around behind them. “I think he was on top of a bookshelf or something, I don’t really know.” 

“That sounds in keeping with Loki's character.” Natasha said. SHe was going to ask this girl some more, try and get a general sense of her, when Peter ran in the room. 

“Aun’ Tasha! Uncwl Cwint wit his hair on fire!” Peter yelled, tugging at her arm. Nat sighed and stood up. 

“Okay, Peter, this is Bella, Bella Peter, I want you to stay with her while I go yell at Clint, okay?” She asked. Peter nodded his head firmly. 

“Alwight.” Peter said, crawling on a chair and onto a table. “Hi, I’m Peter.” 

“Well you are just the cutest thing in the whole world!” Bella said, grinning. Natasha left to go address Clint, figuring Peter was in better hands with her then, really anyone else at the dorm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wash your hands, stay safe, and be nice to one another!
> 
> Also, would love some feedback on Bella. IDK how I feel about her RN, so if any of you want to see more or less of her, please do let me know!


	57. Mr. Fury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, stay safe, and hibernate like the rest of us.

“Hey guys,” She said, stepping into the room. To greet her, she found Clint, who had his head in a bucket, Bucky, who was pouring something  _ into _ the bucket, and Steve, yelling at both of them. 

“-no, Bucky  _ stop _ ! You can’t extinguish fire by-” Steve yelled. Then the bucket exploded. She darted forward, grabbing Clints waist and yanking hard on him, pulling his  _ face _ out of the line of fire. He stumbled back, looking slightly singed, but no worse for the wear. 

“ _ Holyshitholyshitholyshit!!”  _ Bucky screamed, jumping back. They stared at the flaming bucket, before a robot rolled up and doused it with white foam, seemingly making eye, or camera, contact with Bucky the whole time. 

“What… was that?” Bucky asked, watching the robot roll away. 

“ _ Why did you think pouring alcohol on a fire would put it out?”  _ Steve asked. 

“Well it was what I had on hand!” Bucky yelled back. While they argued, she turned Clint so he was looking at her. He shot her a sheepish grin. 

“How the hell did you do that?” She asked finally, grabbing a towel from the table and scrubbing it over his face. 

“I don’t know! I was just standing there and then my hair caught on fire.” Clint defended. Natasha looked at him disbelievingly. “Okay, well I might have been trying to swallow a flaming sword, but that’s beside the point.” 

“You what?” she asked. Clint laughs uncomfortably. 

“In my defence, the sword was fake, it’s just that the flames apparently weren't.” He said, hopping onto the counter. She was going to retaliate when a beep caught her attention. 

Looking down, she saw a claw-like robot, whirring and spinning it’s hand/head thing, looking straight at her, as if for aprovel. She exchanged glances with everyone else in the room, saving Bucky, who was backing away from the robot, before patting it’s head with a towel. It whirred happily and whizzed away. 

“What was that?” Steve asked, looking at the robot suspiciously. 

“Well Tony probably built it, so something's wrong,” Clint said, simultaneously batting her hand away from his face. 

“Let me get the soot off.” She said, glaring at him. 

“No!” 

0o0o0o

“Aun’ tasha, da window is dark!” Peter yelled, running in the room. Bella followed after him, her previously perfectly curled hair was covered about fifty glitter clips and scrunchies, looking worried. 

“The window?” Steve asked, looking around. Thor and Bruce had closed the blinds in their room, but upon pulling it up, they saw the window blocked out with a metal shade from the outside. 

“Um…” Bucky said. 

“I’m gonna go find Tony,” Clint said, standing up. 

“Good idea,” Nat said. “I’ll come, Peter, stay here.” 

“...Can I pway wif Bubby's hair?” Peter asked. 

“Uh, sure. Whatever.” Nat said. 

“Wait.” Bucky called as the door swung shut. They could vaguely hear Bella explaining how to backcomb through the door. Natasha almost wished that she could stay and watch that. 

“Where do you think Tony is?” Clint asked. 

“Has he even left his lab today? He’s probably still in there,” Natasha said. Clint nodded and swung the door to the stairwell open. 

“Tony! Are you in here?” Clint yelled. “Please don’t be drunk.” 

“Haha,” Natasha said. “I’ll go left, you go right.” Clint nodded, and she walked around the perimeter. The whole room was the complete floor, separated only by giant machines and cables, making pathways around the workshop. 

“Found him!” Clint called. She jogged across the room, pointedly avoiding the smoking machines, until she found the two of them. 

“What is it?” Tony asked, stepping out of his machine and rolling his shoulders. 

“Well, the windows are covered in metal, we assumed you would have some idea as to what happened.” Clint said. Tony snapped his head to look at him. 

“You sure?” Tony asked. They both nodded. “Jarvis, update status, building, code 220.” 

“The cameras surrounding the building have detected a face flagging in the bank and innisheated the prodigal set for cade 17783.” Jarvis informed. 

“Pull up the names please,” Tony said, rubbing his forehead. A hologram popped up, separating Nat and Clint from Tony. 

“Tony, what’s going on?” Natasha said. 

“Because of my fathers… uniec political position, I have taken precautions against certain people attempting to enter the building.” Tony said, scrolling through the, disturbingly long, list of names. “If one of the faces has been detected and the DNA is matched, the building will go on lockdown without announcement until the threat has vacated the area for more than 30 minutes or I give the override code.” 

“Great. And who exactly is in that bank?” Clint asked. 

“Jar, patch me through to the 008 camera,” Tony said. A display popped up, showing a man pacing outside the door with a notebook in his hand. 

“He doesn't look so freaky to me,” Natasha commented. Tony nodded. 

“You’re right,” Tony said, furrowing his brow. “Suspiciously so. Jarvis, what number is he.” 

“Do you not recognise the man in this video sir?” Jarvis asked. 

“ _ No _ . Why else would I  _ ask _ you?” Tony asked, running a hand through his hair, making it stick up. 

“Initiating intracranial testing,” Jarvis said. 

“Wha- no. Skip. Just tell me the number jar.” Tony said, glaring. 

“Tony, what’s going on?” Natasha said. Clint inched his way around the hologram to stand next to Tony. 

“Well that’s what I am trying to figure out. Jarvis, the number, override code 1775.” Tony snapped. 

“Number 1 sir.” Jarvis said, his tone suddenly much more robodic than usual, surprising them. 

“Number- shit.” Tony said. “Close windows.” Tony replied, darting out of the room. Or trying to, but Clint shot his arm out, gripping Tony hard around the teens waist. 

“Tony, explain yourself.” Clint said. 

“Will you let me go!” tony replied. Clint didn’t release his grip, but Tony made some kind of twisting move, ending up behind Clint and running around the table and out the door. 

“Jarvis, who’s number one?” Natasha snapped at the ceiling. 

“The number one threat to the building is Howard Anthony Walter Stark.” Jarvis replied. “I assume that, unlike my creator, you are aware of his relation to boss?” 

“Let's go,” She said, grabbing Clint's hand. Clint followed her. “I’m going with Tony, you make sure Peter’s okay.” 

“Isn’t it just his father though?” Clint asked, confused. 

“Just his father?” she repeated, raising an eyebrow. “He’s all the worst parts of Tony personified. You can’t trust him.” 

“How do I explain this to everyone?” Clint asked. 

“I donno, think of something,” She replied. “Think on your feet.” 

“This is gonna leave an impression on Bella.” Clint muttered, letting go of her hand and jogging up to the dorm door. She took a left, and ended up standing with Tony by the door. 

“Natasha, come on, I can talk to my father alone,” Tony said. She narrowed her eyes at him. Despite his confident words, he was rubbing over that scare again. The one behind his ear that always worried her. Now she was thinking about how he’d gotten it. 

“Last time you did you ended up strapped to a table,” Natasha said. 

“But he just does that sometimes.” Tony said, shrugging. “Please go.” 

She stared at him, noticing several other of Tony’s ticks. Nothing nearly as obvious as the rest of the boys, but still there. He always made a fist around his thumb and rubbed that scare. “Like hell I’m letting you alone with that man again.” 

“Listen, this is gonna spiral out of my control a lot faster if he is meeting-” Tony started. Before he could finish, Natasha grabbed Tony’s hand, forcing his thumb on the door’s scanner and sliding the door open. 

“Hello Mr. Stark, let’s go inside.” She said, with a forced smile. 

“Finally.” 

0o0o0o

“Okay, just… act natural. And don’t. Panic.” Clint said. 

“What’s going on!” Bucky asked. 

“Don’t worry, just act normal and don’t talk.” Clint said. They stumbled into the living room around the same time Tony and his father walked in with Nat. Howard walked disturbingly like Tony, same posture and stride, but Tony was now clearly intently, slouching and dragging his feet. 

“Hello,” Howard said, sitting down without looking any of them in the eye. “I assume you are art majors,” 

“Why… would you assume that?” Sam asked. 

“Well, MIT wouldn’t let anyone in there STEM program that-” Tony threw a wad of paper at his father, effectively cutting him off. “Antony, behave yourself around adults.” Howard said. They exchanged glances, Natasha raising her eyebrows. People didn’t talk to Tony like that. 

“Oh no, the highly regarded, ever astounding, college sophomores, somehow still unable to cook anything but pasta their whole life.” Tony said, rolling his eyes. “However will I get over the shame of lowering their opinion of you?” 

“I can see the 15 thing a little better now.” Thor said. 

“Would any of you object to me speaking with my son?  _ Alone _ .” Howard said, reaching out and gripping Tony’s wrist. 

“Um,” Steve said, standing up. But they were already gone. 

“Okay, how long before we go after them?” Bucky asked. “I’m voting three seconds.” 

“Give them a minute,” Sam said. “They just went into a dorm room, it’s not like they can leave.” 

0o0o0o

“This is ridiculous,” Clint said. “Um… robot voice… thing… what’s its name?” he asked her. 

“Hey Jarvis!” Bruce called at the ceiling. “How long have Tony and his dad been gone?” 

“Anthony Stard and Howard Stark are no longer in the building. They had been speaking for two minutes and seven seconds before their depatchure.” 

“Shit!” Steve said, standing up. 

“How long ago did they leave?” Bucky said. 

“Half a hour ago.” Jarvis said. 

“We gotta go,” Thor said. 

“What about Peter?” Steve asked, looking at the toddler, who was attempting to climb the bookshelf. “We can’t just leave him.” 

“Bella will watch him,” Natasha said. 

“She left with Loki a while ago.” Thor said. “I don’t have her number and Loki left his phone here.”

“Okay, I’ll figure something out, bring the car around to the front of campus,” Clint said, “come on Peter.” 

“Where are we go’n?” Peter asked, jumping off the shelf and into Clint's arms. 

“We’re gonna make a new friend.” 

“Wazziz name?” Peter said. 

“Mr. Fury.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! If you like my writing, you can go check out the first chapter of my newest fic. 
> 
> Wow, self-isolation is a bitch for extraverts like myself. Ya'lls comments are keeping me alive right now. 
> 
> Stay healthy!!


	58. I'm so sorry Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't say you expected anything better from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, grab a box of tissues, and don't kill me.

“-Completely humiliated me, Anthony. I have a reputation at that school. You act like you have had zero training. Tell me, who would I have put the time into making you half decent if you are going to turn around and disgrace the Stark name.” Howard said, keeping his eyes on the road. His mother rode in the front seat, her lips pressed in a thin line. 

“Oh come on! Disgrace you? Dad, I acted like a human being! What else do you want me to be? Because unfortunately for you I can’t turn into one of your mutant experiments. I don’t have a fucking model number,” Tony bit back, slouching in the seat in a way he only would around his family. 

“Sit up, you look like a middle schooler when you sit like that,” Howard said. 

“Which I technically am,” Tony said. 

“You have acted like a complete idiot, and you haven't done anything useful for Stark Industries. The press might as well report you dead for all the PR you have gotten. Remember, SI is your first priority.” 

“Why though?” Tony asked, straightening his posture. If he couldn’t win with his father by acting bratty, maybe he could debate with him. His father understood politics, if not children. “Isn’t it more important for me to get an education than to placate the press?”

“The degree is just a formality. We’ll probably wrap it up in a couple months, add whatever we need for you to continue on this career path, get you out there.” Howard said. 

“What?” Tony asked, sitting up, more alert. “No! I don’t want to finish in a few months! Why can’t I do it in four years like everyone else?” 

“Tony sweetheart,” His mother said, her voice pitching an octave too high, making him wince. “You just  _ aren't _ everyone else. We don’t want you to pick up any bad habits that the public might allow their children to develop. You are so much better than then.” 

“That’s a lie.” He said, snapping his mouth shut as soon as the words had left them. 

“What did you just say to your mother?” Howard asked. Tony bites back the fear in his throat. No point in acting like he hadn’t said it. 

“I am no better than anyone in those dorms,” He said. “How’s that feel? You spent your whole life working on perfecting me, making me your little human experiment, trying to keep a flaw out of my system, but I am the worst person in that dorm. What’d you have to say about that?” 

“Well there is no accounting for personality is there?” Howard said. “We will be discussing this in further detail when you get home.” 

“Oh sure, beat me into submission, experiment on me, hell, cook me in an oven for all I care, it hasn’t worked before and it won’t now,” Tony said. Why wouldn’t he stop talking? He was digging his own grave. 

“You are one of, if not the most disrespectful and blatantly disobedient child I have ever had to speak with! You are never returning to that college.” 

“Try and stop me. In case you forgot, I can build a car, or a plane, of a fucking freit train, with a box of scraps. Remember teaching me that?” He asked. 

“You are NEVER going there because you are never going ANYWHERE aging! Do you understand?” 

“That you are going to try and lock me up like Italian Raponzal? I get that you are gonna try,” Tony said, leaning his head on the window. He didn’t want to keep talking. 

“No. You aren't going to be locked anywhere but a pine box six feet in the ground,” Howard gritted out. 

“Howard, do you not think that this may be a bit extreme? He’s still a boy,” Maria said

“He won’t learn, the boy is nothing but a failed experiment. We’ll get rid of him, you can put on a pretty little show for the press, then maybe we can turn his bedroom into that aerial studio you were Jesus that Tammy has,” His father switched from his angry business voice to a soothing one flawlessly. He wondered if he was as disturbing as his dad when he did that. 

“Well, maybe. But only if you are sure there is no other option,” Maria said, spinning her overdyed hair around a finger. “We’ll have to change the wall paint though, it’s such a ugly shade of red right now.” 

“Of course we can repaint,” Howard said. 

“Hello? Not dead yet!” Tony said, banging on the glass between his parents and him. They continued the conversation as if he hadn’t spoken. It wasn’t until then that he curled himself around his knees and allowed himself to cry. 

0o0o0o

“Is that them?” Clint asked, leaning forward in his seat to try and see through the windows of the car ahead. They’d been pushing 90 for most of the drive, and they had yet to see another car on this road yet. Bucky sped the car up a little more, pushing the ancient engine, to pull up alongside the car. 

“I dunno, maybe,” Steve said. He leaned out the window and threw a water balloon on the car. Instead of hitting it, it bounced off, what looked like the air around it. “Definitely the right car.”

“Try pulling in front of it,” Thor said. 

“What do you  _ think _ I am doing?” Bucky asked, swinging the car around. Instead of the other car stopping, or making a U-turn, it swerved away, like it was trying to go around. 

“Reverse!” Natasha yelled. Bucky did as he was told, but the timing was just slightly off. The butt of their car smashed head-on with the front of the other one, the force being too much for whatever forcefield was around the car. Both stopped moving, as did everyone inside. 

“Holy SHIT!” Bucky yelled, unbuckling. They followed suit, immediately getting out and racing around to the other side of the car. Tony and Howard were already out, Maria hadn’t moved. Her neck seemed bent un-naturally, and it was hard to avoid staring at it. 

“Don’t step any closer,” Howard warned. They were about to ignore him when the telltale click of a gun alerted them. Looking closer, they could see one being held against Tony's temple. 

“Oh, wow, real creative,” Tony quipped. Despite his joke, it wasn’t hard to tell he was shaken. He looked like he was hardly keeping himself upright. 

“Sir, put the gun down,” Steve said, raising his hands and inching closer. 

“I  _ said _ , don’t come any closer,” Howard said, pressing the gun into Tony's head hard enough it would definitely bruise. 

“We don’t want to cause-” Steve cut his words out and Howard crumpled to the ground. Tony, released from his grip, stumbled forward, surprised by the sudden change. Thor, who was the closest, darted out to grab the teenager, pulling him towards the car. 

They looked down at what was clearly a dead Howard. He had an arrow sticking straight out of his chest. “Clint did you…?” Sam asked. Clint set his bow down and shrugged, turning his attention to Tony. 

“Holy shit.”

0o0o0

They hadn’t moved the car since the crash, which was over an hour ago. Clint sat next to Tony, who’d taken to staring out over the edge of the cannon. Out of fear for Clint being arrested, they had shoved Howard back in the car before pushing it off the cannon, watching it burn at the bottom. Clint switched his gaze between the smoking pile down below and Tony. 

“Thank you,” Tony said, surprising Clint. 

“What?” Clint asked, letting go of the grass he was braiding together. 

“For shooting him. Thank you,” Tony said again. He scrubbed his face with his hoodie sleeve and stretched. “We should go back to campus,” 

“Wait, Tony,” Clint said. The teen turned to look at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think before I shot.” 

“If you had I would be dead,” Tony said bluntly. 

“Doesn't mean it doesn't suck though,” Clint offered. Tony just shrugged. 

“This is the best outcome.” Tony said. “They… were planning on killing me anyway. It wouldn’t have mattered if you’d stopped him from shooting me. If he was alive I wouldn’t be.” 

“You don’t deserve that Tony,” Clint said, wrapping an arm around the teen. Tony returned the hug. 

“Maybe it’s exactly what I deserve.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO ANGST TOWN!!!   
> I can't even tell you how long I have been planning to do this guys. I am so happy to be posting this chapter right now. Please review, and I completely understand if you want to murder me, I would too.


	59. I'm sorry Tony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eek!

“How can I calm down right now Steve? I just  _ killed  _ a human being!” Bucky said, running a shaky hand through his hair. “Does this make me a murderer? I think this definitely makes me a murderer. Holy fuck I just killed a woman.” 

“Okay, Bucky, just take a deep breath, kay?” Steve said. “Look, you didn’t intend to kill her, it was a accident… sorta. I mean, Clint just shot a man through the chest and he’s pretty unfazed.” 

Clint gave a thumbs up from where he was talking to Tony. Tony turned around. “If it makes you feel better, she was only 87% carbon matter!” 

“Wha- it doesn't matter! If I wasn’t here she’d still be alive, and now she isn’t.” Bucky said. Natasha, who had just stabbed an arrow sized pole through the hole Clint's arrow left before shoving them off a cliff, turned to look at them. 

“Some people deserve to die.” Natasha said with an unnerving smile. She wiped some of the blood off her chin and went to sit with Tony and Clint. 

“ _ This is not okay _ !” Bucky yelled. “How is everyone so  _ calm _ ?” 

“Because we all assumed someone was going to end up dead about the time Steve started throwing water balloons at traffic.” Sam said. 

“Listen, it worked.” Steve said. 

“That’s so not the point.” Sam said. “I can’t get through to the police, but Loki texted me.” 

“Why’d he text you?” Thor asked. “I’ve been texting him for hours and he hasn’t replied.” 

“Cognitive recalibration,” Sam sudjusted. “He says hi, that Colson tried to make him watch Peter but he was going to the airport to send Bella back so he said no, and that he swears he will beat Thor to death with a hair brush if he doesn't stop texting.” 

“Rude,” Thor said. “Tell him I say hi.” Sam typed it out on his phone, before showing Thor Loki’s response, a middle finger emoji. 

“How’s Tony doing?” Steve asked when Natasha walked back. She shook her head. 

“Too well. I don’t trust it.” She said. “If anything, he’s reassuring Clint, which was so pathetic I needed to leave.” Natasha said. 

“Too well? That seems like an oxymoron.” Steve said. 

“No, she’s right.” Sam said. “We just learn about Absent Grief in class. It’s the act of preventing emotions because of the energy needed to process, or due to other reasons for avoiding processing whatever happened. He’s like, redirecting all his emotions and stuff onto other people.” 

“That doesn't seem… healthy.” Steve said. 

“Well we’re in the ‘unhealthy coping mechanisms' module, so that would be accurate.” Sam said. 

“Great.” 

0o0o0o

“Tony, we should get going,” Clint said, “the suns gonna set soon and we’re still an hour or so away from campus.” or three or four, if they followed all the speeding laws. So maybe two.

“Yeah,” Tony said, not moving. 

“Plus we left Peter with Fury, and I am pretty sure he’s either locked in a room alone, or causing mass panic somewhere,” Clint said. Tony didn’t react at all, his face a complete blank slate. 

“Alright,” Tony said finally, standing up. Clint followed quickly, putting an arm around Tony’s shoulder due to their proximity with the edge. Just in case. “I’m not going on a trip.” He said defensively. 

“I’m not worried about you  _ tripping _ .” Clint replied evenly, steering him away from the edge all the safe. Tony rolled his eyes and allowed himself to be steered into the van. Clint had him sit on the far left of the first row, climbing in after so they were directly next to each other. Natasha sat next to him, and the others piled in. Bucky sat as far away from the driver's seat as possible. Tony scooted his body as close to the door as possible, trying to distance himself from the others. It didn’t work. 

“So, we did just commit a murder,” Thor said. 

“Technical only Clint murdered anybody.” Steve said. 

“We were accomplices though. Especially Natasha. She hid the body,” Bruce said. “It’ll be fine though. I found someone’s emergency alcohol stash and covered the car with it, so all the evidence should have burned.” 

“Great. That makes this okay.” Bucky said. He was in the back next to Steve. Natasha twisted so her body was at an alarming angle, to look directly at Bucky. 

“You are confused about what happened.” She said. Tony, despite desperately trying to ignore everything that was happening, he couldn’t help startle at the russen she was allowing to slip through her words. 

“Confusing  _ what? _ ” Bucky asked. “The part where I killed Tony’s mother or when Clint murdered his father?” 

“No, that’s not what happened.” She said, raising an eyebrow. “Do you not remember? The car rammed straight into you.” 

“Wha- no it didn’t! We were trying to block them off! I rammed into the passenger side door!” Bucky said, looking between Natasha and Steve. “Steve, back me up!” 

“Uh…” Steve said. 

“Here,” Clint said, taking out a pad of paper. “I’ll draw what happened.” 

Three minutes later, after Clint had drawn  _ not what happened  _ and Tony had been further squished into the door, he finally noticed what the rest of the car had been hoping would evade his attention. 

“Where the  _ fuck _ is the steering weel?” he asked, looking at Sam, who seemed to be steering with a giant metel rod gammed into the car. 

“Language,” Steve said absently. 

“Oh, yeah, well  _ someone  _ stole the car, and  _ someone else _ had the bright idea of stealing the week.” Bruce said pointedly. 

“It was an emergency,” Sam replied. 

“I really thought the lack of a steering wheel would have stopped him.” Bucky said. 

“You both know what you did,” Bruce said, narrowing his eyes. 

“Oh goodness, are those guitar petals?” Tony asked, leaning over Sam's shoulder. 

“Tony, stop talking about the integrity of the car, you were opened three hours ago.” Bruce said, not looking up from the map, which was definitely being held upside down. 

“Did you just stick a record player to the dashboard?” He asked. Clint, who had sense turned back around and stopped re-telling everything that had happened to Bucky, grabbed him by the hood of his hoodie and yanked him back down into his seat. “Hey!” 

“Okay, you know what fun car ride game we are gonna play?” Clint asked. Natasha shot him a sidelong look. “ _ Prossessingallofouremotionsonthecarridebackinsteadofinfiftyyearsorcommitingsuicide!  _ Yay!” 

“I don’t think that that’s-” Sam started. 

“Shut up Sam.” Clint said. 

“I was going to say that that wasn’t the worst idea I have ever heard, but fine, think what you want to think.” Sams said. 

“Wait no,” Clint said. “I don’t actually know what I am doing.” 

“Uh huh. Okay, Tony, will you please tell us what happened after you and your father left the room this morning?” 

Tony rolled his eyes and jammed his hands into his hoodie pocket, thinking. “Well, we spoke, then he persuaded me to get in the car, they drove and talked, then they died.” 

“Alright, let's-” Sam started. Natasha turned around, taking out a gun. 

“Try again.” She said smoothly. Clint, unconcerned, removed the gun from her hand and stuck it in the seat pocket. She glared at him. “That was not my only gun.” 

“I know.” Clint said, patting her head condescendingly. “Tony, fix your answer.”

“You know… I think I’m good.” Tony said, pretending to think about it. “Yep, definitely good.” 

“Tony, you are talking about this in the car or we are making you see the school physiatrist.” Sam said. “Also, I might accidentally volunteer you to my professor to study.” 

“Study?” Tony asked. 

“He’s been interested for a while.” Sam replied. 

“I- fine. But if I tell you, I need you to keep in mind that everyone but me in this is already dead, okay?” He asked. They nodded their agreement. “Fine. So I was talking with you guys, and my dad pulled me into the hallway, and he showed me a bomb he’d rigged around the building, and said to get in the car or he was blowing it up-” 

“What the-” Bucky said. Steve covered his mouth. 

“So I got in the car, and I was trying to figure out why they wanted me to go with them. My dad gave a load of bullshit about MIT not being good enough and blah blah blah, so I told him they couldn’t pull me out because of the press.” Tony said. 

“And what did he say?” Sam asked. Tony swallowed the lump in his throat. If he was going to do this, he wouldn’t do it while crying. 

“He uh, he said that he could. And so I told him I wouldn’t help with SI if he did, and uh, he told me that he wouldn’t mind killing me if it came to that. Then he basically discussed how he’d do it with my mother the whole time till you guys caught up.” He said. He figured he’d leave out his own behavior as much as he could. 

Bruce choked on his tea, which he seemed to have brought in his thermus, spitting it on the map. The car went completely silent. 

“Uh, you guys okay?” He asked, looking at them. “Clint, buddy, why are you making that face there?” 

Clint didn’t respond with words, instead opting to hug him. Tony really, really, wished he tried to pull away, but after the day, and everything his parents had said, let alone the thought of never seeing these guys again, he couldn’t help but relax into the hug. Just a tiny bit of course. He didn’t want anyone getting to comfortable here. 

“I’m so sorry Tony.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Comment any thought you may have, and if you like my writing you can check out my new chapter fic as well! Same vibe. Alright, stay healthy everyone!


	60. I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sobbing but for different reasons this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this chapter... It's special.

Tony did end up eventually falling asleep, his head bouncing against the window with every jolt in a way that could not have been comfortable, until Clint pulled the teen so he was resting his head on his shoulder. They waited another ten or so minutes until anyone spoke again. 

“So Clint, you just killed a man.” Steve said. 

“Eh, not my first time.” Clint whispered, shrugging the shoulder Tony wasn’t resting on. Bucky gave him a concerned look. “Oh don’t be so surprised.” 

“I can’t believe he pulled a gun on his own kid,” Sam said from the front. 

“You can’t?” Natasha asked. “Seriously?” 

“Well that’s not exactly the norm nowadays, is it?” Bruce said. 

“You need to work on your research. I mean, in the last three years alone Howard Stark has been accused of over a dozen crimes, all of which fell through, slowed production at SI to keep the weapons to himself, and tripled his presence to all medie. He went completely off the rails.” Natasha said, showing a few screenshots of news articles on her phone. 

“Why do you just have that all on hand?” Sam asked. She just shrugged. 

“Not important. The point is, it doesn't surprise me that something like this happened. I mean, Tony himself is like a giant clue to his father just walking around.” She said. 

“Explain.” Steve said. 

“Well, look at the security in the dorms. Tony’s a rational person, so it wouldn’t make sense that he was paranoid about someone breaking in. Clearly he had a good reason to keep everything locked down the way he has.” She said, shrugging. “Pretty sad when you think about it.” 

Tony shifted against Clint, as if he could sense someone said something he disagreed with in his sleep. Clint shushed them. 

“Well we need to come up with a plan.” Steve said. “For when he wakes up.” 

“Like what?” Bruce said. “How are we going to out-plan Tony? He’s ridiculously intuitive. It’s like he was trained.” 

“He was.” Natasha said. “If you listen to the interviews of him and his father from now to when he was born, plus his father's entire personality and habits, it’s pretty clear.” 

“He’s also fifteen,” Thor said with a shrug. “Heh remember when Loki was fifteen and found out about eyeliner?” 

Bucky snorted in the backseat, before Steve jumped in. “Tony’s not a normal fifteen year old though. Actually, he’s not a normal anything.” 

“Well maybe not a plan, just an idea of what we are going to talk about when he wakes up.” Sam said. “I mean, it’s a sensitive topic.” 

“Is anything a sensitive topic to Tony?” Steve asked. “I mean, he didn’t even seem all that bothered after they died.” 

“Just because he can mask emotions doesn't mean he doesn't have them, genius.” Bucky said, shoving Steve. “That’s uh, right, right Sam? People can’t just turn off emotions?” 

“No Bucky, Tony does not have an emotion switch.” 

“Well I was just  _ checking _ .” Bucky said. “You never know with him.” 

“You can know some things.” Sam said. “That applies to… all humans.” 

“You can’t even trust gravity with that kid!” Bucky said. “Excuse me for being suspicious.”

“Okay, we’re focusing now.” Sam said, talking over Bucky. Clint tightened his grip on the teen as the voices in the car raised. “Everyone, give what you think the best idea is, and then maybe we can make, like, a frankin-idea. Thor, you start.” 

“Well, when Loki was fifteen and I-” 

0o0o0o

Tony didn’t sleep long, the whole time he was dreaming he could hear bits of conversation drifting through his thoughts, rather disturbing, by the way. His father had taught him how to do it, so he would always be listening, even when he seemed asleep. He was more solidly awake by the time they made it to the rest stop. 

“Tony,  _ no _ .” Steve said. “Bad idea. Very bad idea. Stop.” 

“Please! Your gas and brake pedals are from Bucky’s old electric guitar!” Tony said. “Just let me fix it a tiny-” 

“Tony,” Natasha said, grabbing a bottle on the floor, and spraying it in his face, making him spudder.” 

“I didn’t know we were allowed to do that!” Clint said. 

“You’re not. Tony, no stress fixing anything, talk to Sam about your dad or something.” 

“This isn’t the plan.” Thor reminded me unhelpfully from the backseat. 

“Yeah, we’re well aware Thor,” Natasha snapped, before sighing. “Listen, TOny, go inside and buy snacks, okay?” 

“Fine,” Tony said, unbuckling his seatbelt, which, by the way, wasn’t there when they started the trip back, and left. 

“Okay, so our franken-plan is out the window, let's work on something else.” She said. 

“I mena, do we even need a plan?” Thor asked. “Why not just wing it?” 

“Have you met that teenager? Winging it is like asking to be punched in the face with sarcasm and hurtful realism.” Bucky said, shivering. They were only a little bit sure it was fake. 

“Okay, well if trying to get him to talk about it won’t work, what do you think will?” Steve asked. “I can’t imagine we will be able to trick him.” 

“No, we won’t.” Natasha said, before snapping her fingers. “Unless…” 

“Unless what? Natasha? What’s that face Natatsha?” Bucky asked. 

“I just had a very ‘Clint-y’ idea.” She said, grinning. “What if we did something that he was sure couldn’t be a trick? Something he is sure we would never do?”

“Like what?” Bucky asked. 

“Talk about our own issues.” Natasha said, with a little hand animation for enfasis. 

“Ew! NO!” Bucky said. 

“Think about it, he won’t talk to us if he thinks we’re trying to trick him, of course he won’t, people have been doing that to him since he was like, three. But if we do something that couldn’t possibly be a trick, because it is so out of character for us, maybe he’ll be too surprised to think about it too hard.”

“Okay, but there is a reason we all have a pact to ignore everything that happened in our lives up to this point,” Bucky said. “We can’t just… go back on that.” 

“We can, and we super will.” Natasha said. “Clint you in?” 

“I’m in.” He said grinning. 

“Great. This couldn’t possibly go wrong,” Bucky said with a sigh. 

0o0o0o

Their plan, while a good one in theory, had a few major issues. The main of which being they cared too much about each other's lives to remember why they were talking about this in the first place. 

“You were in the circus for  _ two years _ ?” Natasha asked. “I thought you said four months!” 

“I lied!” Clint replied. “The only reason I left was because I couldn’t pay to go here! I had to move back in for the summer and work with my parents!”

“I can’t even look at you right now.” She said, blocking his face with her hand. Tony laughed along with the rest of them, Clint making a pouty face before licking her hand. 

“Okay, who’s turn is it now?” Steve asked. They’d made it into a road trip game. Tell one thing about your past that's funny, and one thing that’s sad. 

“Tony’s.” Bruce said. Tony rolled his eyes.

“Come on, it’s the rules.” Steve said. As mucha s they keeped laughing and trying to seem light hearted, they’d been waiting for his turn. 

“Fine, something sad and something funny?” Tony said. 

“Yeah,” Clint said. “Oh, do funny first, I've been trying to figure yours out.” 

“Okay,” Tony said, wrinkling his brow before smiling. “Okay, this,” He said, holding up a photo of a mangled robot on his phone. “It was a mistake I made when I was twelve.” 

“What is it?” Clint asked. 

“It’s a dog robot. I made it because I thought it’d be funny.” Tony said. “Unfortunate thing is that it was fourteen feet tall.” 

“Oh my gosh, really?” Natasha asked, grabbing the phone. “Where did you keep it?” 

“That’s the best part,” Tony said. “I kept it in my father's bathroom. Worst part is it took him almost three weeks to find it.”

“How do you not go in a bathroom for three weeks?” Bucky said, laughing.

“I wish I knew!” Tony said. “When he found it he screamed so loud, I thought someone died until I remembered.” 

“Best prank ever.” Clint said. 

“Okay, what’s the sad thing then?” Bruce asked. “Something real, we can tell when you lie.” 

“No you can’t.” tony said. “Fine.” 

“Yes!” Bucky said. 

“Uh, well… before I went here I don’t think I had ever seen someone face to face this much in my life.” Tony said. “Because like, my parents would always have somewhere to go, and I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone without them watching me. It’s nice, seeing someone and knowing they’ll be there the next day.”

“Hell yeah it is,” Bucky said. “Okay, Bruce’s turn!” 

“Oh my gosh, you need to tell Tony the photography story!” Steve said from the back seat, followed by hoots of agreement. 

It really was nice to know people would be there for him. Whether he wanted it or not. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys, I think this will be the last chapter of this fic. I almost made a chapter as a authors note, but that's kinda a sucky thing to do, and I wanted to go out on an even number.   
> I just want to say a few things to my readers.   
> 1\. Some of you have been here since I couldn't spell Rogers, and I love you for that. You have commented on every single chapter and made me laugh and cry with your witty humor and kindness. Thank you so much, I love you with all of my heart.   
> 2\. I have used this fic to reflect a lot of where I have been these last few months. I really have struggled with school relationships and stuff, and writing has been an escape for me. These last few chapters have been hard to write, and these characters deserve better than my half-assed attempts at writing.   
> 3\. I AM NOT DONE WRITING MARVEL!! I started a canon fic which will have a similar update track as this one. I hope you guys enjoy that one as much as you have this one.   
> I can't even believe that this story got one comment, let alone the huge amounts of love it has. I love love love all of you, and I want to keep in touch with my readers, which is why I will always respond to comments, and remember the names of those who leave kudos. I am honestly a pretty insecure 14-year-old girl, and the fact that anyone has read this makes me jump for joy. I love you, and I will miss you.
> 
> thank you for reading. 
> 
> fin.


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